• Member Since 27th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Apr 19th, 2014

thirdstring_overlord


T

A prophecy leads the Imperium of Mankind to deploy a Deathwatch team deep inside the Warp. Soon they encounter Equestria and the "Six Blessings" it harbors. How will ponykind react to the fierce and grim protectors of humanity? The two sides will need to find common ground, and fast: a new threat has arrived in Equestria, and they will stop at nothing to see this fragile alliance destroyed...

A Warhammer 40,000 crossover. Special thanks to csimadmax for creating the cover.

Chapters (11)
Comments ( 179 )

The writing is solid. Grammar, punctuation, sentence structure all good as far as I can tell.
Somewhat of a reused setting, but it's starting out better than many others, and it has potential. I'll follow it and see where you lead.

Saw this on FanFiction. Does this mean we'll see new chapters?

526319

Indeed it does. I'm going through the last edits on the third chapter, and I hope to submit it soon.
Sorry about the absurdly long delay.

this should be interesting...

Thy Dark Queen Is Pleased

Well If you are In Need Of Help Editing Chapter..... Wink Wink

Hope Celestia is alright.

Good to see more of your work sir, though im looking forward to seeing the reactions the ponies will have towards the space marines.

yay, this story is still alive!
the idea to make 40k stuff be a different visual style from Equestria = pure genius
are the humans (I assume that's what the bipeds who dropped into Ponyville are) wearing any kind of recognizable Guard, Imperial, or Chaos armor? because I remember seeing something like that somewhere, I just can't remember where
is Chaos's influence already seeping into Equestria? because last time I checked ponies don't start launching into conspiracies, though I can see that Tzeentch is watching over Rarity with her statement of 'Just as planned'
it would be interesting if the ponies/Equestria start getting more 'realistic' as they are exposed to more of chaos, or even just stuff from 40k, that would add an element of visual 'corruption' to the mix and could be played with in so may ways
hope you update more frequently from now on!

Who is attacking the ponies Chaos or the Inquisitor forces?

910846 Some sort of pirate group if I've been reading this right, although the arrival of Chaos has been foreshadowed. Also, Snowflake living up to his other name:

Horse-
i.ytimg.com/vi/aFAXv_OGdz0/0.jpg
P-P-P-P-P-POWER!!!

911803

OLD SPICE BODY SPRAY IS TOO POWERFUL FOR EXATHELITE SHOCK TROOPERS!

when will the next update come out??

Nice. Very nice. I greatly enjoy this story.

Mixing 40K with MLP is a risky move, but you seem to be pulling it off splendidly.

Writing is good, story is solid, and it is quite entertaining. So overall, A quality! :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

Looking forward to the next update.

Nice chapter.

I did an actual face palm at the end.:facehoof:

Oh God that cover image. A thousand times yes.

Yep, Pinkies in character.

Seems that physics in Equestria isn't like the physics of the 40K galaxy or even the "physics" of the Warp. Interesting...

Emperor's Mercy, Deathwatch on Equestria?! This is going to be interesting :pinkiehappy:

there should be a bronies space marine chapter. i call naming it.

When can we expect an update?

1439211
I've been throwing around an idea for a while for a chapter called the Brothers of Harmony... :twilightblush:
Great story. Keep it up! :rainbowdetermined2:

And now, things get interesting.

Ah, now I see. This appeared on FanFiction.net earlier.
Excellent work. The tension between the members of the Deathwatch team is a nice touch. Inquisitor Valesius seems to be competent, yet fairly disliked by most. I definitely predict some disagreements between him, his team, and possibly Chaplain Bardrik.
And apparently ponies feel like marshmallows? That would explain Rarity.

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Thanks for the comment, I'm glad the way the characters bounce off each other resonates with you. I wanted to be sure it's believable.

And apparently ponies feel like marshmallows? That would explain Rarity.

Aye, the truth must be known.

where is the watch button

This fic just keeps getting better.

This is good. Great, even.

NEEDS MORE TACTICAL DREADNOUGHT ARMOR, if that would oblige you :fluttershysad:

I could have sworn I commented on this story before, either here or on EqD forever ago, but I can't seem to find it. I must say, this is one of the better warhammer crossover fics I've read, and I've read a lot. You do the main characters very well, especially Pinkie Pie; you don't over-do them, and that's important. I also like the interplay of the Imperial characters from different organizations. And the heretic parts have a well-crafted atmosphere to them as well; sinister and threatening. I actually can't think of any particular things that stand out in need of improvement. Then again, it's been a while since I read the first few parts. :rainbowderp: Keep up with it sir, in the Empress's name.

Thought for the day: Even a pony who has nothing can still offer his Friendship.

:trollestia: Ave Imperatrix Celestialis :trollestia:

I DEMAND MOAR!!!!! :flutterrage:

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Much appreciated. From what I've read of the Archives of the Friendquisition, you really know the art of creating atmospheres, so that makes your comment all the more encouraging. Thanks!

“No time for worrying!” Pinkie Pie chirped. “Some new folks are coming to town! We've got to get ready!” she said, bouncing into the kitchen.
“You want to throw them a welcome party?” Twilight said, following her.
“Yessiree!”

OH, JESUS...

Yes, I said that in real life when I read that bit. :rainbowlaugh: This...is gonna be good.

Boy, do I feel like kicking Discus in the grill.

I can only imagine the thoughts running through that marine's head right now...

Yeah, I would be surprized too if aliens spoke with a language based on Latin too. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Spitfire_dayum.png

Also, I love this so far, doesn't rewrites Space Marines into knights in shining armor, doesn't nerf them enough that the peace-loving ponies easily overpower them, and doesn't start and end with 'death to xeno'. It's just right. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra.png

This xeno needs to be watched, he resolved, doing his best to dislike the odor of the freshly baked confections lying on the table before him.

God I hope Bardrik ends up liking Equestria so much he doesn't want to leave. That always happens to characters like him.
Also, the image of an eight foot tall Space Marine trying to fit through a pony sized doorway never gets old. Same with Space Marines and cupcakes.

Chaplain Gottfrid Bardrik

Should that be Gottfried? And is my memory dodgy or is Bardrik the name of a Space Wolves character?

Ah, yes. Bardrik's account on Pinkie makes sense; all Equestrians would be considered psykers in the eyes of the Imperium.

What luck!

I sign on just in time to see this update! Huzzah!
In any case, it's even more better that you are using the Deathwatch, my favorite bunch of guys in the Imperium

I eagerly await the next installment -Fear the Alien -Hate teh Alien -Kill the alien, as it were. in this case though, possibly 'be enraged by the alien's naivety'

I applaud you good sir.

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The unusual spelling is intentional. As for the name Bardrik, I can't say I recall a Space Wolf character with that name. Maybe you're thinking of Berek?

In any case, thank you all for the comments. A special shout-out to Verbose Soubriquet, the illustrious author of Courage and Honour and Friendship, who did the final proofreading for the chapter.

Oh god, that cover image...

There are not nearly enough Black Templar stories like this one. :pinkiehappy:
Keep up the good work!

wec

I wonder what mystical mojo Celestia is cooking up with those enchanted spheres? She was never one to sit by in a crisis without intervening herself or putting some plan in motion.
Also I can't help but notice that Equestria bares some similarities to what the Imperium would classify as a Daemon World. It is cut off from the Warp but perhaps once upon a time, before the Warp became truely Chaotic, there existed a connection. Real space would mingle with the Immaterium and the whispering of the souls and psyches of the entire galaxy helped make Equestria what it now is. Equestria and its's Ethos/Magics may well have started off/been seeded with little more that the lost dream of a young girl somewhere in the Milky Way. In fact there may have been many of these 'Dream Worlds' (precursors to the Daemon Worlds) prior to the rise of Chaos. Though, it is unlikely that any of the others managed to isolate themselves in the manner that Equestria did. They all were likely corrupted into Daemon Worlds or outright destroyed. I wonder if the Elements were in someway associated with any of these worlds prior their destruction.

Anyway, regardless of my own musings/none too subtle suggestions, great story so far.

1775680

Ah, I love it when I get people speculating. I can't say if your theory is close to the true backstory or not, but I can say that it's quite well thought-out. Thanks.

Ok this story is great so far. I just want to do this

*Ahem*
SPESS MARINES!

That is all

1845225 HOW HAVE I NEVER HEARD OF THIS UNTIL NOW?

TELL ME HOW

Hm, things are getting very interesting. :trixieshiftright:
Good as always. :moustache:

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