The Simple Life

by Thornwing

Humble Apple Pie

“How much, further, is it?” Blueblood panted, the physical exertion of having to walk across town somehow taking its toll on the pampered prince.

Applejack raised a hoof and pointed down the path ahead. “It’s just over that rise. You can see the light from the Apple farmhouse gettin’ brighter. Granny Smith is sure to have a scrumptious meal all laid out for us.”

“It’s not that far.” Twilight trotted on by with Blueblood’s bag in magical tow.

Blueblood sneered, “Maybe for you, Princess, but with every hoofstep I suffer further indignity. Having my precious magic torn from my horn is one thing; watching you flaunt yours is almost more than I can bear.”

Twilight pulled up. “If it makes you feel any better, I’ll let you carry your own bag.”

Blueblood swiftly altered course. “No, no. As you said, we’re almost there. I think I can manage a few more steps.” He picked up his gait and quickly caught up to Applejack heading over the final hill leading down to the Apple’s farm. Twilight sighed and followed.

In full view of the farmhouse resting under the soft glow of a full moon, Blueblood soldiered on. His hooves were sore and dirty, but he struggled most of all with coming to terms with his sentence. Celestia had certainly crossed the line. He was a Prince of Equestria, after all. What could he possibly have done to warrant such harsh treatment? Stripping him of his title was bad enough, but going so far as to remove his magic—that was the ultimate punishment a Unicorn could suffer. Banishment would be better, although by the looks of things, he wasn’t far off from that either.

The trio rode up to the house and Twilight set Blueblood’s bag on the front steps. She reached over and gave Applejack a departing hug. “I appreciate your willingness to help. I’m sure the Princess is grateful as well. Let me know if there’s anything I can do and remember to stick to the rules. No special treatment.”

“I got it, Twi. He’s not a prince—at least not right now. He’ll be just another set of hooves to help around the farm.” Applejack leaned in closer. “The Princess didn't happen to mention how long he’d be here, did she?”

“Not exactly.” Twilight pulled out the original note. “Take this and help him follow the instructions she sent with him. I’ll be back to check up when I can.”

“I hope there’s some instructions in there for me too. The stuff in the letter doesn’t explain a whole lot.” Applejack looked back at the house and her family standing in the doorway. Blueblood peered up at the Apples like an orphan sizing up a new foster home. Applejack sighed and turned back to Twilight. “I’ll let you know how it goes.”

“Good luck!” Twilight spun around and spread out her wings leaping into the air. Her purple streak faded into the moonlight as Applejack rejoined the others.

“Blueblood, I’d like to introduce my family. This here’s Apple Bloom, Big Macintosh, and Granny Smith.” With a nod to the assembled group at the door, Applejack pointed back at Blueblood. “Apples, this is Blueblood, our new workingpony.”

Blueblood tossed his mane and turned up his nose. “Excuse me, but the honorific of Prince, Highness, Majesty or likewise shall always be used when addressing my royal self.”

“Eeeenope,” Big Mac replied as he spat an ear of wheat from his mouth.

“Sorry, Princess’s orders. It’ll be plain old Blueblood till I hear different.” Applejack waved her family off. “Let’s get to eatin’ so we can all get to sleepin’. We've got a big day tomorrow.”

Without complaint, the Apples all bolted for the kitchen. Blueblood’s pride took a hit, but he followed along sluggishly under Applejack’s insistence. The smell of fresh food helped sway his decision. His nose led him into the front room and straight on through an Applewood framed doorway to the kitchen. Waiting in the nook off to the side, he found a stark wooden table with a fifth odd chair pulled up along the near end. Five steaming plates overloaded with heaping mounds of some sort of brownish concoction made him reconsider his choice to join the commoner family for dinner.

“What is this?” Blueblood squinted as he sat down and poked a hoof at his plate. The delightful smell did little to match the rustic presentation.

“It’s an old Apple family recipe. Baked apples, boiled apples, and sautéed apples with a big ol’ steaming deep-fried apple on top. I call it Apple D-light.” Granny Smith beamed from across the table. “Got some apple cobbler cooling in the window for dessert as well.”

Blueblood’s appetite sank; his stomach groaned. “You wouldn't happen to have any carrots, would you?” The slender smile attached to his pitiful plea belied his inner rage. The imposing form of the stallion across the table held any stronger reaction in check.

As a group, the four Apples stared back at him with wide eyes. With hardly a second thought, they all turned back to their plates and made quick work of devouring their dinner.

Watching the others and fighting the enticing smell of the baked, boiled, sautéed, and deep-fried delight in front of him, Blueblood stood firm. His stomach tried to overrule his stubbornness, but that was asking quite a bit. At present, he would have gladly eaten whatever lay in front of him, but getting the food off his plate and into his mouth proved to be a tougher sell. Celestia’s punishment smacked him right in the horn where it hurt the most as he stared at his fork and pitied his loss of magic in using it. Defiantly he refused to lower his head to the level of his plate like a simple Earth Pony.

One by one, the Apples cleared their plates. One by one, they helped themselves to a slice of pie, which they also devoured. One by one, they rose from the table and washed off their dish. One by one, they said their good-nights and retired to bed. The lights went out, and soon only Blueblood remained at the table. Alone in the moonlight, he continued to stare at his plate and the enemy fork beside. Never in his life had he felt so lost and forsaken.

The whole world felt dark. Not just the unfamiliar nook of the kitchen, but even the glow of the moon through the window fell dull and gray across his plate. The untouched food taunted him, toying with his emotions. With the family removed from the equation, the shame of thrusting his muzzle into the sagging apple mound meant nothing. With every ounce of concentration he could muster, he reached out in shattered hope for his magic to respond. Failing yet again, he fell back in his seat.

As he sat and sulked in the knowledge of all that had been taken from him, Applejack quietly approached. A lantern hung from her neck and shone a light across the otherwise gloomy kitchen. She had left her hat on its bedroom wall hook and her mane and tail hung loose without the simple red ties normally gathering the corn-yellow strands together. A flannel nightgown draped over her flank came trimmed with a simple lace edge which softened her ordinarily rough exterior.

Blueblood hung his head. “Have you come to gloat?”

“I came to see if there was anything you needed before I hit the hay.” Applejack swung herself into a chair and set the lantern on the table.

“Just leave me alone. You have no idea what I’m going through.” Blueblood continued to stare at his plate of assorted cold apples.

“I reckon you could use somepony to talk to.” Applejack cocked her head to one side searching to catch his undivided attention. “There anything you feel like gettin’ off your back? I promise I’ll try my best to understand.”

“How could an Earth Pony ever understand what it’s like for a Unicorn to be without magic?” Blueblood turned away, careful to avoid showing his face and the tears that were forming at the corners of his eyes.

“It’s probably a lot like being without your friends and family, I reckon.” Applejack hung her head and fidgeted with a loose thread on her nightgown. “A wise old pony once told me, ‘you never know what you have until it’s gone.’”

“I suppose I better get used to life without magic then.” Blueblood’s babbling turned to blubbering as the tears flowed freely down his cheeks. In a moment of total self-pity, he turned back to Applejack. “Perhaps you could make yourself useful and find me a suitable place where a boulder could be dropped on my head? I don’t seem to be capable of doing it myself or I might have saved you the trouble.”

Applejack scratched at her mane and returned an awkward stare. “Now why in tarnation would you want that?”

The emotional dam sprung a leak. “I've lost my title, I've lost my magic, and I’m surrounded by Earth Ponies. I've got nothing left to live for!” Blueblood reached across the table and grabbed Applejack by the shoulders. “Help me end it all before I start talking like you too!”

Applejack swatted away Blueblood’s advance with a simple wave of her foreleg and followed up with a painfully obvious rebuttal. “Why don’t you just follow Celestia’s instructions and get your life back in order?”

He fell back in his seat with a dramatic flourish. “B-because! I don’t know how!” His lip quivered as he struggled to hold himself together. “I was born a Unicorn Prince in the royal court of Canterlot. I've never been without my magic, and I've always had a servant to take care of everything else.” He shook his head forward and knocked the instruction scroll loose letting it fall to the table. “Without my magic, I don’t even know how to pick up a fork, let alone a scroll. Even if I did, I never learned how to read—I always had somepony else do it for me!”

“Well, that sure explains a lot.” Applejack brushed back a lock of her mane.

“I can’t believe I told you that! Not even Celestia knows I can't read!” Blueblood buried his face in his hooves. “Make it stop! I don’t deserve this—I’m royalty!”

“I’m pretty sure that’s why you’re here—to learn what you never had a chance to learn as a prince.” Applejack reached out and opened the scroll. With only four lines to read, she quickly scanned the list and gazed up into Blueblood’s red and swollen eyes peeking out from behind his raised hooves. “Celestia’s list don’t sound too complicated, and I’m willin’ to help you with it if that’s what you want.”

Blueblood’s tears left a glistening trail down both cheeks. He looked up and past the lantern to the glowing face of the mare offering him assistance. How could she possibly help me? Why would I let her? Maybe I should play along? How much worse could it get? Competing thoughts raced through his mind as the ongoing battle of pride versus humility fought for ultimate dominance. His self-worth gauge was at an all-time low and there seemed nowhere left to go, but up.

“Applejack,” he whispered amidst swirling thoughts of fear, uncertainty, and doubt, “I need your help.” Pride took a tumble as he altered course raising the white flag of surrender.

Applejack set the scroll down as the first line began to glow turning from black to gold ink. Scanning over at the inquisitive look from Blueblood, she quoted what it said. “Ask for help.” She smiled and nodded. “See, that wasn't so hard—only three more to go. Now, how’s about we get you something to eat and start fresh in the morning?”

“That sounds delightful.” Blueblood wiped away his tears and broached a pitiful attempt at a smile. The prospect of food overshadowed his mission to reclaim his magic and title for an instant driven by the incessant plea of his stomach in response to Applejack’s offer. In that moment, he slipped back into familiar tones. “I’ll have a plate of peeled carrots with a sprig of asparagus—and a cup of honey infused tea. No need to bother with the garnish.”

Applejack shook her head. “How ‘bout an apple?”

“Uhh, I-I don’t think that’s wise.” Blueblood’s lip shook as he stared down at the cold plate of apple delight. “Could I get a fresh one, perhaps?” Applejack nodded and stood up to fetch a raw apple from the bushel basket by the stove. Blueblood qualified his request in transition, “You should peel and core it as well. I hate it when those little bits get stuck in my teeth.”

She paused a moment as she grabbed for a Red Delicious off the top of the pile. “How ‘bout I show you how to do it yourself?”

Blueblood chuckled uneasily. “Silly mare. I can’t even manage a fork, and you want me wielding a knife? Are you mad?” His stomach groaned in desperation.

Applejack relented, taking pity on her starving guest. “Alright, just this once. But you gotta promise, starting tomorrow, that your attitude is gonna change.”

“I-I promise.” Blueblood averted his eyes and hung his head. He wasn't sure what he promised, but he knew it came with a meal. That was all that mattered at the moment.

Applejack peeled and cored the apple like a pro. Laying her creation on the table, she took a step back narrowly avoiding Blueblood as he dove in and devoured it whole. A few chomps and a giant swallow later, he pushed back from the table. Without a word of thanks, he motioned toward the door. “I shall retire now. Fetch my bag and lead the way to the royal guest house.”

“The what?” Applejack grabbed the lantern and tossed the strap around her neck.

“The royal accommodations—I assume that’s what the red building in the courtyard is for. It looks a little small, but given the circumstances, I wasn’t expecting much.”

Applejack chuckled. “Suit yourself.” She led the way out of the kitchen, through the front room, and straight out the front door. With a kick and a flip of her hind leg, Blueblood’s bag landed on her back. Guest in tow, she trotted to the barn and swung back the door. Standing aside, she bowed and motioned him inside. “Your royal accommodations.”

“Do you provide a turn-down service?” Blueblood queried as he peered ahead into the dark interior. “I favor a leaf of mint on my pillow.”

“We’re fresh out of mint, but we do provide a g’night service.” Applejack waited as Blueblood sauntered into the barn. Once through the door, she tossed his bag in after him. “There’s a nice pile of hay over in the corner. Don’t let the rooster bother you none. G’night!” With another buck, she slammed the door shut and trotted off toward the farm house.

Blueblood staggered around in the dark. “Applejack? I’m not seeing a bed… And what was that about a bother?” Tiny eyes peered down at him from the rafters above. If he ever made it to sleep, morning would come with an unpleasant surprise.

Comments

[Frankie2]

Well, that explains why Blueblood was the way he was. No one bothered to teach him different. He looks to be a product of his upbringing...which was probably servants and other nobles.

[The Great Derpsby]

So.

Celestia took away all his possessions, crippled his magic, deliberately set him up to be 'humbled' (aka humiliated) by thrusting him in an environment utterly alien to him, and tells him he only gets his life back by following her instructions on a written note.

Which he can't even read.

That's not teaching, that's borderline evil.

[howard035]

5319083 There was a great line from Discord from an old story: "Celestia sees a pony on fire as a wonderful opportunity for them to learn stop-drop-and-roll."

[Frankie2]

5319083 To be fair, Celestia doesn't know that Blueblood can't read.

[jszellmer]

5336185 Well, he says she doesn't know, but 5 bits says she does and is taking full advantage of it.

[Shepard of Peace]

" Do you have any carrots? "
troll.me/images/mirada-fija/what-did-you-just-say.jpg

Also, WHAT THE FUCK BLUEBLOOD?!?! You are a (sorta) prince/noble (still not sure about that) of Equestria living in the palace of not just one of the wealthiest cities and cultural centers in Equestria but the world as well, and you don't know how to read? First off, your family sucks since they never put you in school or even hired a tutor for you, and second, you're lazy since you never even asked for a tutor or bothered to try and learn yourself.

[Frankie2]

5896381 I think you're being a little harsh on Blueblood. He was probably raise by ponies that never learned to read either and feels that, as royalty, they didn't have to learn. After all, why learn something when you have servants that can do it for you? I know Celestia had nothing to do with his upbringing if this is the case. He's a product of his environment and nopony bothered to show him how to survive in other environments.