Fluttershy's Big Day

by Dashie23

The Wedding

Author's Note:

I honestly have no idea how a wedding works, so I flubbed it a bit. This story might end up getting more chapters if you guys want. Also, it is a prequel, not a sequel.

And I added more description, okay.

It's been rewritten, but I have to finish formatting.

Fluttershy was sleeping peacefully, snuggled tightl
y in her blanket, when the door to her room thrust
open. Rarity came in, panicking slightly, as is wit
h her personality when she’s stressed.
“Sorry, Fluttershy darling, but I needed to wake yo
u now! We have to get you into your dress, because
today’s the big day!” Rarity exclaimed rather cheer
fully.
Fluttershy turned over, and looked over at her cloc
k which read 4:00 am, “I know, but do we have to
start so early?” Fluttershy moaned.
“Sorry, darling, but this is very important. You’re
being married, after all! You’ll want to look good
for
your groom, wouldn’t you?”
“Um, okay, I guess...” Fluttershy admitted, “But, um...
why doesn’t Braeburn need to wake up?”
“He’s been at the bachelor party. They just got hom
e earlier this morning; I saw them come in while I
was making sure your dress looked absolutely FABULO
US!” Rarity declared with a slight grin at the last
part of her statement.
“Well, I guess that makes sense...” Fluttershy mumble
d.
“Now, I’ve sized your dress to account for your bab
y bump, of course. But the design of the entire dre
ss
is as elegant as all the other dresses I’ve designe
d, possibly even more so than the ones I designed f
or
the six of us when we went to the Grand Galloping G
ala, or even Cadance and Shining Armor’s wedding!
Now, would you like to see my designs for your dres
s-“
Rarity was interrupted by Braeburn staggering into
the room. He had yet to shave, and he probably
needed a shower, but he was still ready for anythin
g.
“How’s mah lovely buttercup?” He said, nuzzling Flu
ttershy’s muzzle.
“Just fine, Brae. How was the bachelor party?”Flutt
ershy asked.
“Great! Spike, Big Mac, Whooves, and Thunderlane de
cided to hire some strippers, then Soarin got
smashed on cider, started to rambling on about how
he used to like Rainbow Dash, but that she wasn’t
paying him any mind. Then one of the strippers deci
ded to give Spike a-”
“Ahem.” Rarity interrupted with a look of scorn on
her face.
“Shoot, Rarity, I’m sorry. I know you’ve taken a li
kin’ to Spike, but a dragon’s got his needs...”
“Needs I couldn’t meet?”
“I’m not gonna answer that. Well, I’m gonna get rea
dy, I’m ‘bout to get hitched. See ya, Sugarcube!” h
e
said, tipping his hat.
“I swear, I just don’t know him. Are you sure about
Braeburn, Fluttershy?” Rarity sighed.
“It’s not like you’re the one marrying him. I love
him, and besides, I’m carrying his foal.” said Flut
tershy.
Rarity smiled, and then walked into the kitchen. Th
e kitchen, like most of the house, was very nice an
d
neat, considering that Fluttershy often took care o
f multiple animals and needed it to look nice to
appeal to the animals.
“Let’s have some coffee, and then we’ll get started
. If I remember correctly, you take sugar and milk?
”
Fluttershy nodded as Rarity started the pot.
____________________
Fluttershy drank the last of her coffee as Rarity w
as washing her own cup.
"So, let’s begin applying the makeup, and then I'll
do your mane.” said Rarity, clapping her hooves.
Rarity began putting makeup on Fluttershy, talking
to Fluttershy and also talking about the makeup as
she applied it.
“So, I heard that Rainbow Dash was- let’s put a bit
of blush, but not too much- flirting with Soarin’
and
apparently- a little bit of lipstick, some rogue, a
nd then some mascara- she’s somewhat interested, bu
t
she wants him to make the first move.” Rarity gossi
ped as she applied the various makeups.
“That’s interesting. Honestly, I think that if Rain
bow Dash really cared, she would make the first mov
e.”
said Fluttershy as Rarity began putting up Flutters
hy’s mane.
“Well, she said she doesn’t want to appear desperat
e. I can understand that,” said Rarity as she put t
he
finishing touches on Fluttershy’s mane. “What do yo
u think of your mane and makeup, Fluttershy?” said
Rarity, turning Fluttershy towards the mirror.
Her mane would fit her dress design well, as her ma
ne was very beautiful. It practically sparkled,
probably due to some addition to her mane by Rarity
. Her face was only covered in modest makeup, but
it was enough to make her look absolutely beautiful
. The blush Rarity had applied only helped her pull
off her shy, kind, and quiet look even more.
“Oh, Rarity, it’s perfect! Thank you.” Fluttershy s
queed.
“You’re welcome, darling. Let’s get on your dress.”
Fluttershy was soon ready for the wedding and in he
r dress. They still had a while, so they decided to
sit
and chit chat before heading to the ceremony.
*****
Braeburn, meanwhile, was getting into his suit, wit
h Big Macintosh, his best colt, helping him.
“Thank you kindly, Mac. I’ve tried, but no matter w
hat, I just can’t tie my darn tie right.” Braeburn
complained.
“It’s not a problem, cousin.” said Big Macintosh.
graciously offered the castle up for the wedding. Apple family members were on one side, and Fluttershy’s friends and family were on the other.
Off to the left side were the three bridesmaids:Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Applejack, all wearing Rarity's handmade dresses that were designed tomatch. The groomsmen, Soarin, Big Macintosh, and Thunderlane stood by Braeburn’s side, each wearing similar handmade suits that were, once again, courtesy of Rarity. Twilight cleared her throat, and the ceremony began.

“Mares and Gentlecolts, today we are gathered for the union of two ponies: Braeburn and Fluttershy. They have come together to be united as mare and stallion. State your vows.”

“I don’t think this is how a wedding is conducted...” Lyra whispered to Sweetie Drops who swiftly shushed her.

Fluttershy cleared her throat. “I promise that through sickness and in health, for better or for worse, I shall love for, care for, and cherish Braeburn eachand every day for the rest of my life.” Fluttershy vowed.

“I promise that no matter what happens, no matter the severity, I will take care of our family until death does us part.” Braeburn pledged.

“Do you, Braeburn, take Fluttershy as your wife?”

“I do.”

“And do you, Fluttershy, take Braeburn as your husband?”

“I do.”

“I now pronounce you mare and stallion. You may kiss the bride.”

Braeburn leaned in and kissed her softly, in a kiss that lasted only a moment, but it was a moment neither would ever forget.
____________________
It was shortly after the reception when Fluttershy and Braeburn made it back to the cottage, which was getting a room added on for the child. Other than the area being reworked, the house was quiet and spotless.

“You know, what are we going to name the foal, anyways?” asked Braeburn, taking off his suit as Fluttershy was finishing getting ready for bed.

“Well, it should be based off of either apples, or nature. And the doctor said it's a filly!” replied Fluttershy, beaming at the last part.

“I'm so happy I could eat my hat! On names however, I like the nature idea. There are only so many apple related names out there... I’d like a name related to... Uh... Grass. A name that screams nature and beauty... Something that comes from the plains of Appleloosa to the Everfree forest, a name that would be honored almost anywhere...”

“Well, how about Sweet Grass?”Fluttershy suggested,snuggling into the sheets.

“You know what? That sounds like a good idea.” said Braeburn as he kissed Fluttershy with a burning passion, one that would never fade, not until the end of time.

Comments

[dream1990]

i want you to make more chapters

[SiIver Spoon]

This calls for a review!

[SiIver Spoon]

Chapter 1:

said Rarity, rather cheerfully.

Correction: Rarity said cheerfully.

“Well, it’s not like that’s going to happen for a while.” said Fluttershy, rubbing her rounded stomach.

Correction: "Well, it's not like that's going to happen for a while," replied Fluttershy. She lightly rubbed her stomach and smiled down at it.

“How are you doing, buttercup?” He said, nuzzling Fluttershy’s muzzle.

Correction: "How are you doing buttercup?" Braeburn asked. He then nuzzled Fluttershy's muzzle and smiled.

“Just fine. How was the bachelor party?”Fluttershy said.

Correction: "Just fine. How was the bachelor party?" Fluttershy asked.

“A-hem?”said Rarity, with a look of scorn on her face.

Correction: 'A-hem?" Interrupted Rarity. She scorned, warning Braeburn not to ramble on any further.

*****

This is what the hr tag is for.

Fluttershy drank the last drop of her coffee, as Rarity was washing her cup

.
Correction: Fluttershy drank the last drop of her coffee. Rarity was already finished, and had already washed her cup in the sink.

"So, let’s begin making you pretty.” said Rarity, clapping her hooves.

Let's begin making her pretty? That isn't something Rarity would say. Have you even studied her Canterlot accent!?? Or even put her Canterlot accent into thought?!? Correction: "So darling, let's begin putting on your makeup!" Rarity clapped her hooves in gratitude and smiled.

“I don’t think this is how a wedding is conducted.” whispered Lyra to Sweetie Drops who swiftly shushed her.
Fluttershy cleared her throat. “I promise that through sickness and in health, for better or for worse, that I will love, care for, and cherish Braeburn each day.” said Fluttershy.
“I promise that no matter what happens, I will take care of you, and our family, until death do us part.” said Braeburn.
“Do you, Braeburn, take Fluttershy as your wife?”
“I do.”
“And do you, Fluttershy, take Braeburn as your husband?”
“I do.”
“I now pronounce you mare and stallion. You may kiss the bride.”
Braeburn leaned in and kissed her softly, in a kiss that lasted only a moment, but it was a moment neither would ever forget.

Woah, woah! I don't mean to be rude but what the fuck was that?!? Was that a wedding ceremony!?!? A wedding ceremony is not that short and Lyra was right!

“You know, what are we going to name the foal, anyways?"

I think you mean: "Do you know what we are naming the foal anyway?"

“Well, it should be based off of either apples, or nature. And the doctor said it's a filly!”

When did the doctor say this? Did you literally rush everything to get to the wedding? Even Fluttershy said it was a foal. I'm lost!

“I'm so happy I could eat my hat!

Not a common expression among horses.....

Sweet Grass

Really? That is the most ignorant name for a filly. "Sweet Grass" You didn't even take the filly's looks into consideration.

---

After forcing myself to read this terrible chapter. I am leaving a dislike for these reasons. You rushed, grammar, punctuation, not a proper wedding ceremony, misuse of characters (Adding Big Mac to the main character list. Even though he doesn't really play a part in this story), and horrible naming for a filly. ~ Silver Spoon

[Winter The Gimp]

5314409 Hold your horses, criminal.

Although I understand your list of complaints for why this story is not good, you must acknowledge the fact that the authors can't get every single damn thing in your mind jotted down and corrected. Too picky, my friend and fellow newfic reviewer, much too picky for one who spends their time, as I do, reading the new stories for a good laugh at a bad story!

I can forgive him for getting the wedding ceremony wrong, but at least he did the final part correct! The author clearly shows his lack of knowledge to a wedding ceremony by using dialogue to show it, which other new authors would simply throw in the narration.

And forgive him for not coming up with a good name. It's difficult, really it is. Sweet Grass will possibly be a weed farmer when he grows older. You simply must forgive him for the two errors. He also did not get everything wrong within the quotations, you just happen to read it wrong, or you're(as stated before) much too picky. I've seen many authors use "You know..." in dialogue, and many times it was clear as an azure sky.

The first few here bug me, greatly:

said Rarity, rather cheerfully.

Correction: Rarity said cheerfully.

“Well, it’s not like that’s going to happen for a while.” said Fluttershy, rubbing her rounded stomach.

Correction: "Well, it's not like that's going to happen for a while," replied Fluttershy. She lightly rubbed her stomach and smiled down at it.

“How are you doing, buttercup?” He said, nuzzling Fluttershy’s muzzle.

Correction: "How are you doing buttercup?" Braeburn asked. He then nuzzled Fluttershy's muzzle and smiled.

PLEASE, my brother and dear friend, you must see! Sure, he didn't get the after-dialogue stuff correct(he asked, she said, etc.), but the actions the occur afterwards are correct.

..she said, rubbing her rounded stomach.

You changed that to your liking, yet I see it is still comprehensible both ways, one just sounds better. He didn't get anything wrong, and saying that you're making it sound better is like correcting everything in a book. There is ALWAYS forms of sounding better.

Braeburn asked. He then nuzzled Fluttershy's muzzle and smiled.

That's past tense usage of dialogue-action thingies(Haven't a clue of what they're called), and he was correct, since the story is present tense. Please, it may be early morning or late night, but at least double check YOUR OWN CORRECTION for errors.

Perhaps the "I'm so happy I can eat my hat" was figurative. She was so happy, she can do something out of the usual. When I'm happy I seem out of my own personality, since I'm always looking very serious and countering.

Also, you must learn how to sign off properly, newbie. Like so.

~Lord Farquaad

[SiIver Spoon]

5314925 I didn't list every single thing..

[Dashie23]

5314409 I have edited slightly from your suggestions, but a few explanations.

I used the name Sweet Grass, because that is her name in the other story already. I was also considering Oak Nut or Lemon Grass. I chose her name for a reason in the other fic though.

Also, a foal is a term for a horse one year or younger. A colt is a male, a filly is a female. I used foal because the foal's gender was not yet revealed, as for when the doctor said it was a filly, outside of the fiction's time frame the day before, she just didn't have an opportunity to tell Braeburn.

-Sincerely, the original poster- Dashie 23

[SiIver Spoon]

5315181 Well I would have understood Lemon Grass because it is a type of grass that grows in the Savannah. It just depends on the filly's future. But if you believe the filly should have a future dealing with apples. Then you might want to let her take the apple name. I forgive you for these errors, I forgive every author for their errors. (Except for the author's that think they are the best authors in the world) You are a good writer.

[SCP049]

[Dashie23]

what the hell is wrong with this fiction that causes people to put it in badfic bin and overly stupid fic groups? and what's with all the downvotes with no explanation of what's wrong with it? I want ways to improve and reviews, not a downvote blitzkrieg with little to no reasoning.