All I want is to be remembered. Not for what I've done, but because I tried to be better.
Twilight Sparkle has spent years as Discord's protege, studying the Magic of Chaos. But when rumors of a strange phenomenon dubbed "Friendship" show up in a small outlying town, the Emperor sends his star student to find out what's going on. Twilight goes with the best intentions and quickly discovers there is more than meets the eye going on in Ponyville...
Inspired by this post on r/mlpwritingprompts, by MetaSkipper. Original version by me is in the comments there.
Page generated in 0.3 seconds
Total duration
819 users online
1,136,206 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
It's a good start. Curious to see how it develops, if it does.
NO! NOT FREINDSHIP! GHAAAAAA I'M DYING!
Fear not the Day-mare, for she is a glutton. Bring cake.
Fear not the Night-mare, for she is a sloth. Bring pie.
How quaint.
5304444
is this going to be based on letters only? because that is not really interesting.
5306068
Most likely, although I'm considering adding brief interludes for backstory every few letters. Just have to see how it goes and what inspiration brings.
change is good in this instance
I smell the seeds of dissent being sowed....
Sorry, it's just....
Oh but wouldn't a student of chaos discovering friendship be so... unpredictable?
Friendship?!
That is THE WORST POSSIBLE THING!
I was almost given to downvote this story for being very entertaining, as such an act would have been rather apropos, but I'll settle for an upvote and a wish to see more. Chapters are a little short, but fun.
This is getting interesting.
On one level, this was birthed of letters and journals, and so I'd be a little sad to see the format change.
That said, if you think the story is better told with a mix of journals and standard prose, go for it.
5340083
That's very true, and I want to find some way to preserve it. Perhaps I'll nerf my ideas slightly for now and take the letters to a satisfying conclusion/jumping-off point, then write another story as an expanded/extended version of the ideas I have in mind. As-is, with the direction the story wants to go (it's a little out of my control, lol), Twilight wouldn't be writing letters to Discord much longer, and the resulting events would be too large in scope for even just the journals.
Making a real story out of these, I wonder if you can keep the chaos from taking over the story. If you can put some order to the chaos (pun intentened) then I think this would make a good story over all. I would love to see the attempt. :)
5340118
I thought you'd be doing that a lot earlier than this. From the first few chapters I realized the ridiculous potential of this story has and that keeping it in journals and letter form wont be enough.
With that being said, I adore your story and how it's going. Regardless of the format you wish to continue I wish to see it through to the end.
I was kinda liking the idea that we're just as limited in our perspective of things as Twilight is, especially with not knowing if Discord is going to reply or not, or what he's thinking about what Twilight's sending him (if he's even reading any of the letters). Kinda brings about its own form of suspense and conflict.
Another form of conflict that's subtly being manifest here is Twilight's attempts to reconcile her studies of Chaos with what she's experiencing from the rest of the Mane Six, and how her interactions with them are slowly but surely empowering the Tree of Harmony. She's still attempting to directly oppose it, while not realizing it's her interactions that are stymieing her own efforts. The realization that she's essentially the catalyst for a directly opposing force against her own teachings and alliance with Chaos is bound to cause all kinds of havoc in her mind.
I guess what I'm trying to say here is that, while the desire to break out past the format and tell a larger story is well understood, I believe you have a good story as it is. This format with the letters and journal entries gives us a limited, yet intimate, look at Twilight's thought process and dealings from what is purely her perspective. The fact that we don't get the whole entire story drives a sense of suspense as our imagination fills in the gaps, and as Twilight begins to deal with more of the situation, and ponders her confusion as to Discord's lack of response, we directly feel her emotions right along with her as we, too, wonder what he has in store for her, and what his motivations are in sending her to Ponyville.
I'd prefer if you used this story as a lead up to a bigger story and keep it out of prose until that story. There is a charm to working with letters after all and like other readers have stated I'm enjoying the intamacy we as readers are expirancing with Twilight Sparkle.
The way it's been reading, it's been like a lead up to something big. It's like we're privy to the events leading up to the beginning of something grand.
Well, I'm seeing a lot of preference for letters, and since it would require a lot of backtracking to do otherwise, I think I stick with that for now.
5340581
After applying some thought, I believe this is how I'm going to take it. Although I'm eager to get to the meat of a larger story, there is still a lot of room to explore here. Maybe not 10k words, but at least a decent handful more of journals and letters before things get really serious. At that point, I'll probably spin off into a sequel/continuation.
I'd really like to thank everyone for contributing ideas and encouragement; I haven't had a decent spurt of creativity in a long time, so this is very cathartic and enjoyable to work on.
Interesting. So this is an alternate universe where Discord is ruler and the tree is much younger than its canon counterpart
Bigger is better. Sometimes.
Most of the time.
Usually.
It is in this case.
And here's where the first shoe drops. Twilight's realized she's causing the issue, and now she's at the crossroads of what to do next. The next few entries and letters should be interesting.
Nice chapter. I wonder what will happen next. Good luck.
And so, we stand at a tipping point....
Chaos is not in of itself evil, it's a needed part of creation.
And here's the other shoe. Now for Twilight to make her choice, and decide the fate of the world.
5346352
Order and Chaos. Two sides of the same coin. One brings stability. The other brings change. But it's a balancing act. Too much Order, and your society will grow stagnant. Too much Chaos, and you'll have nothing but lawless anarchy. There must be equal amounts of Order and Chaos.
5347094
Not perfectly equal. Perfect, flawless balance itself brings stagnation of a different sort. The pendulum must swing.
5347129 If you allow me to participate, I believe that the more order you try to introduce the more chaos will grow.
Wow. Great story. I can't wait for the sequel. Great job.
5349812
Thank you! It's been a blast to write; gotta wrap my head around the sequel now, but I've got a lot of ideas.
5349827 Good luck with that. I'll be waiting for the sequel.
I enjoyed it, I will be watching for a sequel, and I will say that I really like the framework of the story. Both in terms of the structure and limited perspective, but also in the overall world. While you have tied down your plans, I can think of a number of other ways things could have formed up or panned out. I like it when a story manages to create such a large possibility space in my mind.
You've set quite a stage, and if you will continue to use it yourself, I look forward to seeing more of it.
Will your sequel be in this same letter/journal format, or are you planning for a more traditional narrative style?
yet he’d managed to pick the ultimate, soul-destroying trap that would either make Twilight a perfect hollowed shell to do his bidding, or a broken outcast without an ounce of self-worth.
She stared at the coin for a long time.
Finally, standing at the peak of the shattered Friendships she’d destroyed, she looked desperately at the only being she knew that offered her acceptance. Even as a shadow of herself… it was better to have a chance at belonging. She pointed a hoof at the coin.
“...chaos…”
This needs a dark tag.
No....
"Plant the Seeds of Discord?" That can't be it. That's too easy, too direct... too organized....
5349955
It's be the last thing you'd expect!
5349916
Probably moving to a more traditional narrative format because the stage is going to be bigger, and some events will possibly transpire too fast. However, letters and journals will still play an important role, they won't be forgotten completely.
5349953
Kinda debated adding one, but overall I don't think it's dark-dark. Just a slightly darker grey than normal, certainly not much more than Return of Harmony or thereabouts.
I'ma be honest, I wish this story was written in a narrative style, but the idea of the sequel makes up for that entirely. I'm looking forward to Twlight butting heads with her "friends".
Huh. Well, that was neat. I'll watch for the next one!
I truly hope that this doesn't end with Twi going all friendshippy. This has been a fantastic little surprise fic, and I can't wait to see where it goes, but seriously consider not taking the obvious ( however well written it may be) route, get some chaos up in this bitch~
A nice way to wrap up this part of the overall story, and to transition to the next. Good job. Looking forward to the sequel.
she's trying so hard
If only Twilight could realize that Chaos is not the opposite of Harmony.
Sometimes I think that was Discord's entire plan in playing the villain. It showed how utterly nonsensical it was to try and oppose order with... nonsense. He couldn't just bewitch them instantly, steal their magic and send them to the six corners of the earth, because that would be predictable and boring, so in a way he had no choice but to facilitate his own defeat and bring Harmony to the land... because Chaos is not the opposite of Harmony. He seems like one of those fellows where it would be like,
"I did just what you asked, Honorable Emperor!"
"Oh, you did. I'm so disappointed in you Twilight."
No...not friendship...not when the whole freaking show is called Friendship is Magic!
Not friendship!