Gizogin
Joined 2nd Jul, 2012 ·
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To summarize:
...
I'm still not sorry.
Oh my
5290256 That.. is the most perfect comment I've read on a story
Oh yea, stuff happened.
It figures that the smut would overtake the thinkpiece within two hours of its publication, despite the thinkpiece having a day's head start. Ah well, such is life.
5290553
img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20140823031959/r2d/images/6/69/George-Takei-oh-my.jpg
I'm are you can see it.
5290893
Good catch. It has been fixed.
Edit: One thing I discovered in the course of writing this story is that, according to official merchandise, Twilight's kingdom is called "Friendship Rainbow Kingdom", while her castle is "Friendship Rainbow Kingdom Castle". Doesn't exactly roll off the tongue.
She's one sixth of the mighty Rainbow Magic Friendship Nuke, why would she need to be knighted? That would be beneath her, like Twilight was most of the night, I'd assume...
Not just shameless smut. It would be shameless smut if Rainbow Dash actually pulled off her pickup line and Twilight agreed on the spot. This is at least two levels higher than that.
You gave acceptable reasons for each of them, had non-sexual build up to the actual event, gave the characters (Rainbow Dash more so) a modicum of 3-dimensional personality, gave the impression that Rainbow Dash wanted more than just a fling, and it's possible to infer that it might end up that way at some point (although admittedly, you have to wear some heavily tinted shipping goggles to see that. Fortunately, I never take mine off). Leaving aside my shameless attempt to find a relationship on a completely empty relation-sea, it's still better more than just clop.
This has to be one of the better TwiDash fics in existence, surely. Loved it
You managed to make a clopfic cute. Well done.
very nice, but no scissoring? Aww.
"I woke up today feeling flawless. It's obvious; I got a really good day ahead".
Twelve hours after publication and this story hits the featured box. One could be forgiven for thinking that I have some idea of what I'm doing. Thanks for all the support, everyone!
You don't say?! I had no idea where her new castle came from. it's not like the season 4 finale showed this
5292499 He was explaining it to people that didn't know so no need to be a dick on the internet we got enough of those
All YouTube comments5294217 You mean to tell me people still haven't seen the S4 finale?
Besides, EVERYONE knows how she got her castle. Saying it like here is like saying Christmas is Jesus' birthday. Everyone knows it
5292158 Do you realise how... awkward scissoring would be with pony anatomy?
5294217 5294223
It is less for people who don't know it and more to set the scene. It provides a lead-in to Rainbow's entrance. Honestly, when the intro to the summary mentions Twilight's castle, I'm expecting people to come in with at least that much knowledge. That said, I can also see how one might find it redundant to provide that background. It was a conscious decision on my part, and not everyone has to like it.
5292158 5294528
Would you believe I almost considered putting in a bit of hot leg-locking? I even had an idea that it would be really weird for ponies to do, because of the structure of their hips, and I was working on a way around it. Then I realized this story had consumed sixteen full, handwritten pages in my notebook, and I never would have finished it if I hadn't cut it off there.
5294264 5292475 5291801 5292055 5291586
Thank you all for the praise! This has been a crazy experience from the very beginning, and from the way that three notifications have popped up just in the course of writing this comment, it looks like it's not over yet.
Hey, if you liked this story, why not check out "The Soul of a Pony" or "Tea and Cakes", if you haven't already? They're much more tame than this, but I'm quite proud of them all the same.
5294264
Right there with ya
Interesting story, that's for sure.
5290256 5291401
Sweet baby Jesus, may Almighty God have mercy on my sides
5294223 Yes I know several people that haven't because they don't have the ability to anymore like me I love MLP I just don't watch the show that much any more. Also not everyone knows that like someone that has never seen MLP or Amish people.
5294714
Glad someone thought it was funny.
Not bad at all! Very messy and wet, which is not a bad thing.
Cold have done a but better with the buildup, but eh. It worked.
~Skeeter The Lurker
I hate that castle with a great passion.
read the description, read this line, I want to see where this is going.
Wouldn't a friend staying the night sleep on the couch, or in this case one of the guest rooms?
This needed to be said.
Caught with her hoof in the vagina jar.
She did the first one, second one would not be too bad, if this were Jackass it would have happened a long time ago, and I want to see the third.
I'm not sure Dash had actually had sex before. Or Twilight for that matter.
I didn't know Twilight was into roleplaying.
And clop.
I would use the word bottom lip. I thought for a little bit she was going down on her already.
That's exactly the position a Princess should be in every day of the year.
I have never seen this done in clop before. Heard of it, but no actual scenes.
You undersell yourself a great deal, this was actually extremely good!
This was a very cute clop
I would love to see if this relationship becomes more a sequel but still a really good 1 shot 
Well done, bravo. 
...I should not have enjoyed this so much...
That fic....
There is only one word for it, only one word fits and says what I want to say about it.
That word is...
MORE!!!!!
5298021 agreed
5294528 unless there is a hoof fetish involved (I.E. Licking) no, not really... actually... hehehehee... that's an interesting thought
5298890
Another good catch. This, too, has now been fixed. Thanks!
Well played :D
Just so you know, you don't need the first two paragraphs. You wrote this story for bronies, and we already know all of this. It's like you saying that Twilight is purple, she's a princess, and she has five good friends. It's just useless information, you know? It does nothing to further the story, and would take nothing away from your story if you deleted it.
Here's an example:
See? We already know that Rainbow is the town weather manager and Wonderbolt-in-training. You don't need to have that in here.
5351802
Well, in point of fact, I wrote this story for me, and I wanted to have those paragraphs, so...
5353805 Ah, let me clarify. When I said you wrote this story for bronies, I meant to say that your audience would be made up completely of bronies, people who already know all of that info.
5354701
I understood your meaning; I was just being deliberately obtuse. I included that "extraneous" information because I thought the story needed it, even if the audience didn't. It serves to set the pace of the narrative and emphasize those details that are important in the context of the story. Having written this story essentially in reverse, I can tell you that I thought the story was definitely missing something without that lead-in.
Yes, the people reading this story will be bronies who already know the characters. That doesn't mean that I can just skip over all description of those characters and settings; it's not a writing habit I want to get into.
I could imagine Twilight becoming a futa, if only to show Rainbow just how big her... "castle" really is. I'm guessing they did plenty of role-playing as pirates as well: "It's not a horn... it's my big, long sword".
At least nopony had their pirate flags at half-mast
I could do this all night... just like TwiDash!
love how u made it twilight's dream without making it totally obvious.
thanks for the gr8 reed (even though there were a few typos).
6352565 Typos? In my story? It's more likely than you'd think.
If you could, please point out any mistakes in spelling or grammar that you noticed. Just telling me that they exist won't help me to fix them; they've obviously passed my editing process before.
This was so freaking hilarious and adorable I loved it!
Twas a great one
I'm meh on this. The exposition is rather irritating and unnecessary. Writing is okay, but I dropped it halfway when Twi just says yes. The attempts at justifying their mutual attraction didn't really pull out out of feeling like a contrivance for me.
535470 I’m confused is this all a dream?
9121104
i don't imagine so