dietcokewithlime
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what...the draconequus holy black of a popo fuck did I read...
Its funny, but sooo wrong
Oh dear, someone had the mood strike him at the worst of times. And the elements of Harmony are stronger than Dischord's dick.
Sweet, sweet Celestia, what did I just read?
What the buck did I just read? Seriously?! I can't just UN-READ it.
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/253/884/b47.png
Where is the un-read button in my head when I need it?
Oh, I'm definitely tracking this one!
Now I KNOW he's lying. He was still encased in stone 106 years ago.
So, Discord's 'Reign of Terror' could have just been him flogging the hog.
Now I'm curious as to how Luna & Celestia really beat off Discord and turned him to stone.
5291062 You just assume Discord cant time travel?
5291601 I didn't think of that, but still highly unlikely even for Discord. Otherwise, why didn't he go back in time to stop his own imprisonment first thing after escaping?
5291623 because that's easy, and he doesn't do squat without strife.
by the way, I can't believe this is incomplete. After that last line, I feel like the next chapter will make me cry.
Needs editing. Still hilarious.
Everypony should keep making excuses why somepony else should help Discord with his penis problem. See how many confused, unhappy ponies can surround a furiously wanking Discord at once, trying to discuss how to deal with him without actually looking at him beating the one-eyed bishop.
huh its kinda like the movie speed but with much higher stakes, instead of keeping a city bus above 50 mph Discord has to keep his Dick above 60 strokes a minute or everyone dies.
My sides are somewhere between Earth and Mars
5290479 Welcome to my second account! The account where the plots are weird as hell and the points don't matter.
Everyone's really going to lose their minds when Matthew McConaughey from Interstellar pops by and says, "Where's all these black holes I keep hearing about." And then they all point and he goes, "Oh God! Oh please no!" And then he accidentally wins another Oscar... (It all makes sense to me.)
5290860
An important lesson to learn! :D
Never read anything that clearly implies being something that WILL burn itself into your memory, when you are not absolutely sure you want it^^
(Haven't read it^^ (yet))
I noped along with flutters
Most accurate description of noping away I've ever read or seen
Twilight you aren't Rarity get your hands dirty. Hell why haven't you asked Pinkie? This is a special kind of party, I think she would understand. Make the guest of dishonor feel welcome...
So would it be safe to say that I'm not the only one throbbing with anticipation?
The easy solution is to call Cadence. She's the Princess of Love, right? Well, that should cover self-love too.
Darude - Sandstorm
This. Brilliant. Masterpiece. Ten outta Ten
The Discordant Troll levels are reaching new highs with this fic. Kudos
5295603 Oh you!
Why am I curioused by this...It's like staring at a trainwreck by proxy...Please post the next chapter soon.
I feel quite much like the ponies enthralled by Discord's display, scared but enthralled. Please continue
Eugh, I thought at first said "indecent one-armed exposure" was him flipping the bird at everybody. Good thing I read the comments first before trying to read it. I'll just be on my way now.
EVERYPONY DUCK!!! DISCORD'S GONNA BLOW!!!
This story.
There are only three words for it, and one combination that works.
What The Fuck
I had to create its own bookshelf, just to describe it. I doubt there will ever be another story added to the shelf.
Good job
5299982 Does... does this mean I should retire? It kinda sounds as though I've already reached the pinnacle of my writing career.
5300185 Dont retire. If you can top this, THEN you can retire.
“Of course I do!” the pegasus answered without hesitation. “My favorite part is when I beat off everyone else that tries to win before I do! I’m just the best at everything!”
LMMFAO.
5299982 Commander Hurricane Fucks Every Mare In Cloudsdale by Cloud Hop. How about that one?
Ok this was a bad ending, how to unlock a good ending? :D
I'll admit, I didn't see that ending coming. Discord's master plan truly was magnificent.
5305549
↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A
5305549 Seems like a good ending to me. Discord wins! What else could anyone possibly want?
What...the....fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck...
Saw this ending coming, it was in your face the entire time, dat ending though, it was funny, left my sides all sticky because of my laughing, I came here for a good story and also got an ending.
Meh
Hook, line and sink. Game, set and match.
Eight outta ten, from characters being majorly OOC apart from Discord.
5305549 I'm not sure what kind of ending you were expecting. The story started out wrong and could only end... wrong-er.
Pinkie's hair flattened a bit, and then frayed. Was she just rejected by a complete pervert who asked for almost all of her other friends!?
She turned to Twilight. "You know what? Couldn't we just turn him to stone?"
"Wait, what?" Discord paused, forgetting to stroke his member for a second.
"Or move him?" Pinkie continued.
Twilight stared blankly at Pinkie. Why hadn't she thought of any of that?
"Actually, that sounds like a good idea." Twilight nodded. "I'll go get the elements." She started trotting back to her library.
"Wait!" Discord held out a free hand. "Being turned to stone won't stop me from collapsing into a singularity!"
Twilight turned back. "I thought you said the elements were stronger than your dick." She smirked.
Pinkie frowened. "Wait a minute, weren't you in stone six hundred years ago?"
Discord froze. "Um..."
"Pinkie," Twilight called, "see if you can move Discord into a river or something while I find the elements... and Fluttershy, and Rainbow."
"Sure thing!" Pinkie saluted, the disappeared in a puff of pink.
"Now wait a minute!" Discord held up both his sticky hands, his tail stroking his member instead. "Stoning me will just make me harder, and everypony's just going to follow me if you move me." He crossed his arms. "Frankly, it would be so much easier if one of you, perhaps someone who truly knows how to be a good friend, would come up here and help a true true friend out."
Applejack threw a lasso around the magic shield. "Ponies usually can't outrun a river." She ran behind him and tugged.
Discord snapped his fingers and the shield popped. The lasso shrank around his body, but it just passed through as if he were made of smoke.
"Nice try, Applejack." He turned. "Unfortunately, thanks to the draconequii curse, I can't move from this spot until I'm finish--"
Suddenly, a pink Blur smashed into Discord. A sharp crack could be heard right before he shot into the distance.
"Finally." Applejack sighed.
The townsponies cheered.
Applejack walked up to her twitching, pink friend. "Uh, you okay sugarcube?"
Her left eye twitched once more. "I'll be fine." She said, grinning more widely than usual at applejack for a moment before disappearing in a pink puff. A pink blur now trailed towards wherever Discord was thrown.
5307750 Ha!
Love it. So much thought put into the oddest concept of all. There were definitely a lot of other solutions no pony put forward, such as calling the other alicorns, doing some research into draconequus', teleporting the townsfolk away from the scene, placing a magic bubble around the market keeping others out, moving Discord somewhere secluded like a mountain top, etc. etc. But I'm sure Discord would have wormed his way around any such notions, or at least tried.
But then again this is a story about Discord jerking off in public, so rational thought should probably exit at the door.
5307479 You win.
You can retire now.
You have achieved godhood.
Good Day.
...I think I need an adult
Nope.
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