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Twilight is dragooned into helping Rarity finish her latest project; a romance novel. Can the Mane 6 band together to overcome cliches, continuity errors, and abysmal pacing? No, they almost certainly can't.

Now in podcast form thanks to Fanfic Friday with TF

First Published
27th Apr 2012
Last Modified
27th Apr 2012
#1 · 187w, 21h ago · 4 · ·

So...Celestia is Sethisto?

#2 · 187w, 19h ago · · ·

Oh lord this is going to suck.

(not story wise, Pony world wise)

#3 · 187w, 19h ago · · ·

This was definatly an awesome fic. Hilarious to the end. Loved Fluttershy's part of the story.

#4 · 187w, 4h ago · 5 · ·

*Sunglasses* I don't give a DAM. *LAUGHS TO DEATH*

#5 · 187w, 4h ago · · ·


The real reason we never got any Trixie is Season 2: Celestia captured her and dragged her to the palace to do private shows on command. For whatever twisted meaning of "private show" you want to imagine.


I do kinda take pride in the fact that I wrote a story in which Fluttershy uses the word "sex-tastic" without actually breaking character. I feel terrible about making her cry though :fluttercry:


Thank you! Half the people who read my story think that's a typo! I'm like "go read the line before it again!"

#6 · 187w, 32m ago · · ·


No,thank YOU for making this AWESOME story! :pinkiehappy:

Unfortunately,disappoint from Fluttershy want Caramel.

#7 · 186w, 6d ago · · ·

>>509640 Don't worry, I'm sure she'd forgive you if she knew it was for a great cause. :yay:

>>510833 I think she wanted caramel as in the stuff, not the pony. Atleast that's the vibe I got. It was part of her wild fantasies, after all.

#8 · 186w, 6d ago · · ·



Yes I meant caramel the sticky sugar liquid, not Caramel the pony. Forgot about him. Maybe I'll tweak that line to say "caramel syrup" or "caramel sauce" instead.

It's always the quiet ones that turn out to be the kinkiest

#9 · 186w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

“Fluttershy! No!” Twilight cried out. “Nineteen Eighty Fort isn’t structurally sound!”

Why did I laugh so hard at this? Just... Why? :rainbowlaugh:

#10 · 180w, 1d ago · · ·

Plot tumor! Nineteen Eighty-Fort! Renaldo changing to Ricardo halfway through AJ's part! :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

#11 · 180w, 1d ago · · ·


I'm glad you liked the first two, but the third one (Ricardo/Renaldo) is actually a GIGANTIC ERROR that apparently NONE of my pre-readers caught. It's been standardized to Ricardo throughout. Good eye!

#12 · 180w, 1d ago · · ·


Huh. Well, I had assumed it was Applejack's mistake instead of yours; maybe your pre-readers did too?

#13 · 141w, 3d ago · 4 · ·


This ... may have caused me to interpret it as "syrup extracted from Caramel's dick".

#14 · 135w, 4d ago · · ·


There's still one more "Renaldo" left there, back in the beginning of Rarity's part.

Now that that's out of my system, good show and all that. It was fun finding out what each character's main flaw was.

Rarity = believability

Twilight = immersion

Applejack = characterization

Pinkie = plot divergence

Fluttershy = telling

Rainbow Dash = cliche one-liners? Can I just put 'everything, ever' and be fine with it? Though, I guess she started out strong, if you ignore the renaming thing.

#15 · 134w, 6d ago · 4 · ·

“Nineteen Eighty Fort isn’t structurally sound!”

Nuts, that's a way better fort pun than I could have ever come up with! :raritydespair:


#16 · 132w, 2d ago · · ·

“Fluttershy! No!” Twilight cried out. “Nineteen Eighty Fort isn’t structurally sound!”

I can offer no higher compliment than to laugh at this line.  You are brilliant.  Also, who the hell in Equestria would have written an analogue to 1984?  Totalitarian sociopolitical movements can't be that common in a country ruled by a pharaoh-monarch.

#17 · 130w, 18h ago · · ·

I have to say, this was a bit too silly for my tastes, but nineteen eighty fort really cracked me up. :twilightsheepish:

#18 · 123w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

“Do the thing with all the dashed lines again, I’ll show you how it’s done.”

This is how Pinkie Pie fourth-wall antics should be written. Simple and subtle.

“Mah grand-pappy had plot tumors."

I think the accent makes it funnier.

“Or you could go to the doctor’s office and pick up Spike, like you were supposed to *sniffle* do an hour ago.” said Spike. “My temperature hit 108 degrees overnight. The doctor *sniffle* said he’d never seen such an acute case of Dragon Hypothermia.”

Good joke. The temperature misdirection is brilliant. Great way to wrap up this comedy.

#19 · 122w, 3d ago · · ·

Absolutely lost it at the Applemac fantasy and Ricardo putting on all the sunglasses. This was very funny! I can imagine a similar premise being an episode, like the Mane 6 telling the CMC a story. Thanks for writing!

#20 · 108w, 2d ago · 3 · ·

“...and so, their incredible adventure completed, Prince Sodium of Alkaland and Princess Water lived exothermically ever after. The End.”

This ending really needs a story to go with it.  It would be glorious.

EDIT: Also, upvoted, faved, and getting recommended to a writer friend of mine.

#21 · 104w, 3d ago · 9 · ·

“...and so, their incredible adventure completed, Prince Sodium of Alkaland and Princess Water lived exothermically ever after. The End.”

Twilight closed her chemistry textbook with a contented sigh.

I want this textbook so much.

#22 · 104w, 3d ago · 1 · ·


Over the millenia, you really think nobody ever wrote Tyrantlestia fiction?  Or, for that matter, fiction about some Evil Queen from whom Celestia saves the day?  (Or, as a closer analogue to 1984, doesn't?)

#23 · 102w, 3d ago · 1 · ·


It proved to be a rather explosive marriage, I'm sure.

#24 · 94w, 4d ago · · ·

I never imagined giving a like to a fic with parts so painful to read that I skimmed over :twilightoops:

Well played :twilightsheepish:

#25 · 93w, 6d ago · 1 · ·


H2 Oh no! Their wedding night went out with a bang. The honeymoon was as erratic as it was erotic. I'd be alka-lying if I said this wasn't brilliant.

Want to hear another sodium joke? Na.

Still, not one pun to rival the book fort jokes.

#26 · 93w, 3d ago · · ·

Strange... I was certain I'd read this before...

Nevertheless, it was just as amusing the second time around!

#27 · 68w, 22h ago · · ·


Cringing at your puns dear sir...

Well done...

#28 · 34w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

Chemistry, book fort, and a Rarity writing a romance novel?

Wonderful XD.

and dressed in exceedingly tacky outfits that had been out of style for at least three seasons stepped into his path

Ahaha XD

“Ricardo! You aren’t dead! I’m happy about that,” said Esmeralda happily. “But as you can see, I’m still locked in this cage, which I’m not as happy about.”

Oh, Twilight! :rainbowlaugh:

You’re the third most beautiful mare I know, and also the second most intelligent. You’re clearly the optimal choice to be my mate.”

This is soo good! :rainbowkiss:

“No need for words, my dearest. No contrived coincidence or random event can keep us apart now!”

This truly is beautiful! :raritycry:

And it only got better from there! I applaud you!

If it doesn’t have affect what the major characters do or think

This doesn't make sense to me, I think there's a mistake in it.

:pinkiehappy: The Torte brothers!! Aha! Oh, Pinkie!

D'aww, Fluttershy!!! <3

"Nineteen Eighty Fort" AHAHA XD

the section of wall that had previously been the south-eastern corner

Well, that reinforcement certainly paid off. *nods seriously*

#29 · 31w, 2d ago · · ·

I used the complete works of Anton Chekhoof as the foundation for that corner. It could take a lot more punishment than that.

*Lungs explode*

#30 · 30w, 2d ago · 2 · ·

So, at the end there Ricardo had 4 pairs of sunglasses on at the same time :rainbowlaugh:

#31 · 29w, 1d ago · · ·

I wonder what Celestias' first reaction to the story was ._. :trollestia::twilightsheepish:

#32 · 16w, 3d ago · · ·

Normally when I read a story I end up favouriting, I comment with a quote from it but this time I'm spoiled for choice.

Upvote and Favourite.

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