So, how are things?
“W-what?”
“I said ‘how are things?’ And what is with you and your stammering?” Eris asked. “You’re acting really weird, Dissy.”
Discord crossed his arms. “I am not acting weird...It’s just, well, you being here is really...surprising is all.”
“Oh really?” Eris looked at her bird claws, seeing if any talons broke on the way here. “I know I can cause a lot of panic, but I didn’t think it would make my son do the same.”
Discord laughed. “Well, you know me...being...all weird over nothing.”
“Really?” Eris looked at Discord. “Dissy, last I remember, you were a true evil little creature, bent on causing destruction and disorder everywhere you went, wanting to make those around you tremble in fear, and have a good time doing it as well; now it’s like you’re acting...I dunno, not normal.”
“Anyone would when they haven’t met a mother in over a thousand years and asks how you are doing ruling the world,” Discord thought. “only to soon find out you’re a complete failure in the ‘causing chaos department’.” Discord shook his head. “No! You can do this, just relax, and think, what would you do if you were me a year or so ago.” Discord gulped those words in his mind and said, “I am not normal, I’m far from even being normal, that’s what chaos is all about, mother.”
Eris raised her eyebrows. “Really?”
“Yes,” Discord stood up. “for normal is what separates chaos from...order, and I make sure to cause it everywhere, and I did even more a year back.”
“What do you mean?” Eris started becoming curious.
Discord smiled, starting to find his inner villain. “Well, you see, after ruling for so long, I found out that Celestia was trying defeat me.”
“That princess?” Eris laughed. “Last I saw her, she was just a filly, and the daughter of the great Miss F.” She said mockingly. “How old is she now, like, a thousand? ”
Discord shrugged. “I’m not sure how old she is, but I do know that I completely destroyed her and the elements of harmony.”
“The what?” Eris was now confused.
Discord nonchalantly waved his claw in the air. “Eh, some group of ponies that tried to use friendship against me, only for me to corrupt all of them.”
Eris held a claw to her mouth. “Corrupt them, how clever. I would've just ended their pathetic lives on the spot.”
“I would too, but standards didn’t let me.”
“What?”
“I-I mean, I’d rather watch them fight one another then do it myself.” Discord stretched and laid on a chair. “It’s much easier that way.”
“I see, so, what about the princess?”
“I...turned her to stone.” He smiled, knowing he was on a roll now.
“Her, and her sister?” Eris was becoming more impressed by the second.
Discord nodded. “Mmmhmmm.”
“Did you do the same to those ponies who had the hellements? Or whatever you called them.”
“Elements,” Discord corrected. “and yes, I did, all but one.”
“Which one.”
Discord leaned over to the kitchen. wanting to at least give her another reason why he was keeping Fluttershy. “Who do ya think.”
“Her?” Eris couldn’t understand how Discord would spare anypony. “Why her?”
Discord leaned forward and began to whisper. “Because she was the only one to give up, to give in, to obey, to live in my servitude for her lifetime.”
“Only her?” Eris was surprised.
“Yes! You see, after the elements came to and discovered friendship just might save them, which it didn’t, they tried to defeat me.”
“How many were there?”
Discord started counting on his claws. “There was this blue one who was so full of herself, and this pink one who wouldn’t shut up for two seconds, same with this white one, and this orange one wouldn't stop flailing her arms in the air to punch me.”
“I’m guessing she never did?” Eris smiled.
“Of course not. Then there was this purple one, the leader of the whole group, the only one who thought friendship would still save her, even though almost all her friends were encased in stone.”
Eris chuckled. “And what about the yellow one? What’d you do to her?”
Discord grinned more evilly than ever. “After I dealt with the purple one with a flick of a tail, the yellow one comes before me; crying, sobbing, bowing down, begging to not suffer the same fate as her friends.” He mocked the whole scene and pretended to be like her.
“And you didn’t do it?” Eris put her claw and paw to her hips. “Why not? sounds pretty annoying to have her crying all the time.”
Discord sighed. “Okay, I’ll admit, it was very pathetic to watch, so pathetic that I let her be spared like so many other slaves, ya can’t rule alone, right?”
Eris nodded, knowing no ponies meant no empire, meaning no fun. “Well, come on, tell me. What’d you do to her?”
Discord stroked his beard. “Well, after I literally zipped her mouth shut, I thought of a better idea then stoning her.” Discord rose over Eris and said. “I made her swear her allegiance to me, to always obey, to never leave, and most of all, to never forget what happened to her friends and always remember the day I defeated the elements of harmony.” He rolled his head back and laughed evilly before clearing his throat and looking back at Eris.
Eris sat down and sunk that in. “Wow, so that’s why you didn’t corrupt her mind instead?”
Discord sat back in his chair again and put his claw and paw behind his head. “Yep, to make her always remember what happened."
“My my, Dissy, I must say you have had quite the interesting life, I thought for sure you would, at the very least, get turned to stone at one point.”
In his mind, Discord panicked, wondering why she would bring stoning into this conversation, “Oh wait...Didn’t I do that.” With that in mind, Discord rolled his eyes and said, “Like they even could.”
“Well, I’m sure chaos would be proud.”
Discord leaned forward. “Uh, why do you say it like that?”
Eris shrugged. “I’m just saying him and strife would be pretty impressed by what you did.”
Discord started getting more confused. “Uh, yes, mother, I cause both every day.”
“Oh come on, Dissy, you know what I’m talking about.”
“I do?” Discord had no clue what his mother was saying, it was as if chaos and strife were a real...
“Ah hem.”
Both draconequus’s turned to the kitchen to see a pegasus holding a bowl of something green. “Um...h-h-here’s your uh...meal, sir.”
“You call that a meal.” Eris scoffed. “If I had slaves, I’d make them push carts full of food.”
“It’s fine,” Discord said, taking the bowl away and looking down at Fluttershy. “You can leave now.”
“Leave?” Eris said. “Why have her leave now, you might as well tell me about her.”
“What?” Both Discord and Fluttershy said.
“Tell me, slave, how is it being the last of your elements, does it...bring shame to your so called ‘friends’”
“E-element?” Fluttershy thought about that for a second before realizing, “Oh, y-you mean my element of kindness.”
“Kindness?” Eris asked; looking at Discord for an answer.
“OH! uh...S-she’s just talking about how she once was a bearer of one type of the element, you see, all six of them had a separate...personality?” He looked at Fluttershy seeing if he was correct. Fluttershy just went with it and nodded. “Ah yes! There was...uh...loyal and...truth and laughing and...generations?”
“Generosity.” Fluttershy corrected. “And there is...uh...there was one more called magic.” Fluttershy was starting to catch on with Discords tale of him and the elements, only in this story, he won.
“Magic?” Eris snickered. “Seems like the only useful one, the others were probably the sprinkles for the cake.”
Fluttershy rubbed her arm. “W-well, all the elements together need-”
Eris glared at her. “Did I ask you to give me a history lesson on how weak your elements are?” She sprawled herself on the couch and snapped the bowl out of Discord’s claws and held in on hers. “What is this stuff anyway?”
Fluttershy started shaking. “I-I-It’s salad.”
“Salldead?” Eris tilted her head and reached into the bowl, pulling out a green leaf. “So you killed this thing or something?”
Fluttershy shook her head. “No; it’s salad a...uh..vegetable.”
Eris dropped the leaf and looked back at the pony, staring dumbfounded at her. “First you tell me it’s salad, then it’s a vegy table? Make up your mind.” Eris was about to toss the bowl, but decided that she should at least give it a try. “So...salad?”
Fluttershy nodded furiously, wanting to get out of here as soon as possible. “Yes! Very...good for...a uh...a…” Fluttershy look up to Discord for help, but all he did was motion her to continue talking. “A...beautiful creature such as yourself.”
Eris didn’t care what the she was saying. She just took a handful of the food and ate it. Discord leaned down at Fluttershy and whispered, “Get ready to catch.”
“Catch? W-why?” Fluttershy whispered back. “You don’t think she’ll-”
Her answer came to her once Eris threw the bowl right at her head, luckily it was plastic, so it didn’t cause too much pain. “What in my name is that stuff, that has got to be, the most, the biggest, the epitome…” Fluttershy rubbed her head and started sinking down to the ground with every word, she even wore the bowl on her head to protect her from whatever Eris would do, but when she did, she realized there weren't any salad left. Before she could question it, Eris grabbed the bowl and yelled. “Greatest food I’ve had in centuries!”
“W-w-w-whaahat?” Fluttershy was beginning to think this was some joke, but the way Eris smiled made her think she actually...liked it.
Discord couldn’t believe it either. “Waywaywaywait. You mean...you like that stuff?”
Eris put a claw to her hip and held the bowl in the other. “Well, it’s really something new, and I gotta say its got a flavor I’ve never had, tell me, servant, what is the secret?”
“S-secret?” Fluttershy had no idea what she was talking about.
Eris rolled her eyes. “How stupid is this pony?” She asked Discord, only to look back at Fluttershy and ask, “I said, what’s the secret? How is it so good? The seeds I gave Discord aren’t nearly as good as this.” Eris turned to his son. “You did use those seeds for planting and not just eating all of them, right?”
Discord smiled, knowing full well he did plant them, even though that plan failed as well. “O-of course, of course.”
“Good, so, back to the question…” She tapped her foot, waiting for a response from the pony.
“Well, y-you don’t really have to do anything, you just pick it, wash it, and eat it.”
“That simple?” Eris was impressed, thinking it would be more complicated. “Do you have any more?”
Fluttershy meeped, knowing she used the last of it on Eris. “I-I’m...w-we’re all out.”
“All out!?” Eris rose over her “Can’t you just put it in the ground and make it grow?”
Discord covered his eyes and sighed. “Here we go;” he thought “another rant.” He remembered how easy it was for ponies to get on her bad side if they didn’t give her what she wants, as if they weren’t on her bad side already.
Fluttershy continued to shake. “W-Well, Y-Yes…but we don't have-”
“And how fast do they grow?”
“Uh...well, i-it takes a while.”
Eris glared at her. “I don’t have ‘a while.’ I want more of this stuff” Eris turned around and thought about this. “Maybe I can just grow it.”
“NO!” Discord put her claws on Eris’ shoulders. “Uh...I..Don’t think magic will help..I’ve tried.” Discord could still remember how he tried growing things, that was the whole reason why Fluttershy was teaching her how to without his powers. “and all it leads to is...well...no food.”
Eris groaned, “It’s there some other way.”
“O-other way?” Fluttershy said.
Eris pulled herself away from Discord and looked back at Fluttershy. “What were you? A deaf, blind and dumb filly?” Eris thew the bowl behind her, causing a small explosion. “Is there some way to make it grow RIGHT NOW!?”
Discord watched the whole scene in surprise. “That salad must be gettin’ to her.” He thought.
Fluttershy backed up, thinking any moment this draconicuus would jump her. “I’m telling you-OW!” Fluttershy yelp as she stepped on the broken potted plant she left on the floor when Eris first came in. Eris noticed.
“Seems you forgot about cleaning that up, huh?” Eris looked past the shattered pieces of hard clay and looked at the plant itself, raising an eye.
Discord came up beside Fluttershy. knowing this was perfect for getting her out of here, and not having Eris yell anymore. “Well, looks like a job for a slervant...heheh.” Discord snapped a dustpan out of the air and wrapped an arm around Fluttershy. “Just clean this up and go to the kitchen,” He whispered. “I’ll take her from here.”
Eris cared more about the plant then the conversation between the two. “Maybe this could teach her a lesson.” She thought. “What kind of plant is that?” She asked Fluttershy.
The pony quickly scooped up the mixture of dirt and clay. “Oh! I-It’s just normal plant is all, j-just a small one, n-n-not a problem.” She smiled and reached for said plant, only for Eris to stop her mid way by picking her up with her tail.
“How about we make it a problem~” Eris held her at eye level and smiled, causing mass panic in Fluttershy’s mind.
Discord went wide eyed, knowing exactly what his mom was talking about. “Oh no,” He thought. “Mom, now might not be the best time for this.” He looked over at the plant, seeing it sink into the ground.
Eris turned away from Fluttershy and at her son. “Come on, Dissy, I haven’t had any fun since I got here, besides…” She turned back to the still shivering pony. “I think you’re slave here can handle it.”
“H-h-h-haaandle what?” Fluttershy could feel her heart pound against her chest as Eris continued smiling at her.
Discord grabbed Fluttershy out of Eris’ grip and held her with one arm. “I’d rather not have a fr...a servant deal with whatever you’re doing, Eris.”
Eris rolled her eyes. “Oh please, Dissy, why do you care, and besides; I’m just wantin’ to make things interesting for her”
Fluttershy trembled, not knowing what Eris would do. “B-b-by doing what? W-w-what are you-”
The room started rumbling, Fluttershy was the only one looking around in a panic, trying to find out what was happening. As for Discord, he knew what was going on. “You didn’t.” He glared at Eris.
Eris smiled. “I did, and don’t worry, I’m sure it won’t leave that much of a mess.”
“W-w-w-what won't!?” Fluttershy clung to Discord’s arm, not wanting to let go.
Discord sighed and adjusted his grip on Fluttershy. “Eris, I doubt she can handle-”
“Oh come now, Dissy, I’ve seen ponies take down my pet tatzlwurms when I was still causing chaos, strife, and discord. So I’m sure you’re slave here can handle something like it.”
Discord dropped his jaw and Fluttershy. “That was your pet!?”
Before another word could be said, a green root came out of the floor, slamming right in between Discord and Eris, Fluttershy yelped and held onto Eris, thinking it was Discord. “W-w-what is that!?”
Eris snapped her claw, causing another one to smash out of the floor and land behind Eris. “It’s your plant, little pony. I just wanted to make sure I can make it grow faster, seeing as how you had none of the dead sally left for me to grow instead.”
Fluttershy continued to tremble as the floor created hole in the ground, and before she could ask, something large, green, and angry shot out of it. Discord groaned. “Oh great…” He looked over at Eris’ creation, it resembled the everyday venus flytrap with her mom’s special touch on giving it a larger mouth, with sharp teeth and a long tongue to go with it. “Really?” He looked over at Eris.
“S’better than nothin.” Eris grabbed Fluttershy and pushed her toward the carnivorous plant. “Well go on, deal with it.” Eris then put on a pair of sunglasses, which were immediately taken off by Discord.
“Mom!” Discord yelled. “I’m not letting anyone near that...thing. It’s far too chaotic, and cliche.”
“There’s no such thing as ‘too chaotic', and since when did you care about how much chaos you cause, the other ones didn’t.” Eris stared at Discord while Fluttershy froze, she was only a few feet away from the plant, and the only options she had were either to run or hide or faint or fight or…
Her body made up her mind as she fainted on the spot. As for Discord, he was too concerned about the conversation to acknowledge the mutated plant leaning closer to Fluttershy, it’s mouth drooling and slowly opening “What other ones?” He said. “Who are you even-”
*SNAP*
Discord and Eris looked toward the chaos created beast to see a pink tail hanging on the side of it’s mouth. “Now look what ya did!” Discord yelled and ran right up to the monster. He grabbed the tail with both his claws and pulled.
Eris sighed. “Just let it go, Dissy; she’s just a pony.”
“She’s...not...‘just a...pony!” Discord grunted and put his front leg on the side of the monster, using it to put more strength into pulling Fluttershy out of it’s mouth.
Eris rolled her eyes and came up beside her son. “What is with you and this slave, Dissy? You’re acting like she’s your-”
“So what if she is!” Discord didn’t care about anything but getting Fluttershy out at the moment.
“What!?” Eris dropped her jaw while Discord finally made the beast do the same.
With one final pull, he yanked the yellow pony out of the monsters jaw and fell into a wall on the other side of the room. He panted heavily and looked down to see that he was still holding her tail, so he pulled more until he could hold her body instead, which was covered in the plant’s saliva. He then looked up to see his mother, her claws to her hip and a face of disappointment. "W-what?"
“Did you just call that pony your...friend?” Said said the word like it was the most vile thing she ever said.
“Wha..wh…” Discord looked behind her to see the beast starting to make his move to the draconicuus. “E-Eris! b-behind-”
Eris snapped her claw, making the beast sink back into the ground, and also made the floor return it it’s normal, flat state. “Tell me, Discord, is she?”
Discord now realized he just said it, that this pony was a friend of his, and he knew friends were the one thing he should NOT have, especially with a pony. “I-I-I...w-what I meant to say was…” He stood up and held Fluttershy by her tail. “She’s...not worth it.”
“What?” Eris still didn’t understand.
“What I mean is that this pony...she...doesn’t deserve the chaos you just caused;” He smiled nervously. “she's...unworthy.”
Eris crossed her arms. “Unworthy?”
Discord nodded, thanking his mind to come up with an excuse so quickly. “Yes, this pony is so pathetic that it doesn’t deserve your time, and most of all,” He tossed her in the air, getting the spit off her, and grabbed her by her neck. “I’d much rather be the one to end her.”
“Wh...a..aahh...ut?” Fluttershy slowly came to, her head spinning and her body unable to move. “W-where am I?”
“See?” Discord continued. “She even asks without being asked, that’s just an example.”
Discord could still see Eris wasn’t buying it. “She’s been doing that for a while, Dissy.”
He cringed and held Fluttershy with both claws around her stomach. “Uh...Well, another reason is...uh...she...she…” He tried to find some way to make her important, he was getting so stressed by all of this that he-
*SQUEAK*
Discord and Eris backed up once Fluttershy gave a loud speak. Fluttershy realized this and blushed. “Um...m-master,” She faced him held out her arms, “if...you couldn’t...squeeze me like that, I’d-”
Then Discord had it. “She’s a great stress reliever too!”
“A what?” Both Fluttershy and Eris said.
Discord nodded. “Yup, she’s a top of the line, squeeze reliever. Ain’t the sound she makes just the funniest thing.”
Fluttershy gasped. “Dis..mast...yo...y-you can’t be ser-”
*SQUEAK*
Discord did it again and held Fluttershy closer to him. “See?”
Fluttershy whimpered while Eris started rubbing her chin. “I guess it is, I mean, It sounds like it could get annoying pretty fast.”
Discord chuckled. “Au contraire, this could provide hours of entertainment.”
Fluttershy looked up at him. “Disco-”
Discord covered her mouth and whispered, “Just keep playing along, I promise never to do this again.” Admittedly, Discord slightly enjoyed it, it wasn’t every day he found a pony that could do something like this, it was quite hilarious in his eyes, and ears.
Fluttershy sighed, knowing this would be bad, it's not that it hurts, she barely even feels it, it’s just that it is very...humiliating.
Eris sat down and laid back, “You’re gonna have to show me, I still don’t get it.”
Discord held Fluttershy out and smiled. “I’ll show you just how fun this is.” He turned her around so she could face him, he frowned and said, “I’m...kinda sorry for this.”
“Kind of!? Are you seri-”
*SQUEAK*
*SQUEAK*
*SQUEAK* *SQUEAK* *SQUEAK* *SQUEAK* *SQUEAK* *SQUEAK* *SQUEAK* *SQUEAK* *SQUEAK* *SQUEAK* *SQUEAK* *SQUEAK* *SQUEAK* *SQUEAK* *SQUEAK* *SQUEAK* *SQUEAK* *SQUEAK* *SQUEAK* *SQUEAK* *SQUEAK* *SQUEAK* *SQUEAK* *SQUEAK*
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Oh good lord...this is hilarious...
Although I can't help but imagine, at the end of this when Discord finally spills the beans about his reformation, she simply replies..."I know."
And then she says she's glad he's found a friend as good as Fluttershy, if she was willing to go that far in maintaining the deception for his sake.
Then she gives Fluttershy a leash and collar.
Eris: No, he is. He's got to make this all up to you somehow.
damn... harsh mother.
*SQUEAK*
Haha oh god now waiting till somebody post that comics
R.I.P. Fluttershy. She squeaked too hard.
I just want to know why Discord has family he doesn't remember for some reason.
I suspected she did that when squeezed.
This reminded me of many an episode of Courage the Cowardly Dog and how he to squeaked upon being grabbed.
It should be au contraire. C'est francais.
Should be in suprise and salad.
GOD, YOU'RE KILLING ME I REALLY NEED TO STOP LAUGHING NOW
This is NOT going to end well.
How is Discord squeezing poor Fluttershy, exactly? I just want to be sure that nothing, um, explicit is going on...
[squeaking intensifies]
5300978 he just uses a mild pressure to the abdomen, near the *squee* tendon to trigger the proper reflex
5301130 Ah okay. (turns around) Screw you, bro! I told you he wasn't fisting her! You sick little monkey! (turns back to you) thank you very much. Here's some gold coins.
usagold.com/images/usagoldcoins.jpg
5299978
Oh my gosh.
anybody but me want a squeeky toy fluttershy now?
5301308 XD Oh my god you are so adorable! You think you're a king of fire! Oh my god I think I have some candy sweet in my pocket for such a cute little fire-spreading maniac as yourself! Awwww, look at you! Oh god if my parents saw me like this now they'd think I was gay or something. But like at you! You think you rule fire!
Also, good point, but still I have seen plenty of villains kill their own mothers who were supposedly more powerful than themselves. And how do you know she is more powerful? Would she have any immunity to specific types of magic? I mean, I'm sure that Discord could drop her ass in a volcano or something and job's done matey let's get some chinese food and roll on down to Fluttershy's.
Oh god you think you're a fire king! That is so adorable! XD You've made me smile tonight! I shall Follow you like a stalker with a restraining order telling him to keep 500 yards away from the victim. XD HA HA HA
I'm not crazy. I am insane though. He he he.
Giggity.
5301384 I'll have one if I can make it one of my OC Unique. He so cool and handsome and awesome. Yay Unique! He the best OC around! Screw you, WoodenToaster's OC! Just kidding. Not kidding. I'm joking. Or am I? I forgot.
ADAWABALLNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Its... Its...
OVERLOADING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Let's crank the squeaking intensity up to an 11!
5318040 No. You're BLACK Jesus.
Please could you carry on with this story? It's getting very interesting and hilarious. - DJAlicorn
Moer wheen posible plz
Right now I want to destroy Eris with this:
img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20111010154810/uncyclopedia/images/6/66/Nuclearneighborhood.png
5299965 This. So very much this.
"Why does everyone laugh when they do thaaat? That's my ribs crushing my lungs!
"