Of Owls and Hats

by Malcolm Merlyn

I am going to write a Turkey day chapter sometime.

"How do you know someone broke in?" Eila whispered as she saw Slade draw out a long shiny pistol. The fact that the old man had gone from casual to tense in ten seconds flat indicated that there was something that was bothering him. Perhaps someone breaking into his house was one of them.

"I just do. Grab your gun kid, if you see anyone in a black hood, don't hesitate to shoot him." Slade replied. "Sanya, mind listening for me?"

The girl nodded. The cat ears and tail manifested themselves as the magic antennas began to listen. The tiny breath of the smallest insect to the hum of the air conditioning. Nothing was unnoticed. Yet nothing, nothing sounded remotely like human footsteps, except for themselves.

"Nothing."

"Damn." Slade tensed up as his hunch was confirmed. If they were here, than was it likely that they found out the locations of his other safehouses? Not that he was worried, but trained assassins were much dirtier business than ordinary street thugs. The safety was off and his fists were clenched. Given just a single reason, the assassin was ready to tear through a man's chest.

Sanya and Eila stayed behind him. Watching him as he placed a small device of sorts upon his gun. A small click would reveal the red dot. An aim assist of sorts.

"Can't they see that?!" Eila hissed as she watched the not-so subtle dog scamper around the room. She didn't notice Sanya, who seemed oddly hypnotized by the jumpy red laser pointer.

"That's what I want." Slade replied. Right on cue, his heightened senses picked up the of the footsteps as he turned the corner. His gun aimed straight at the tall man with the bow.

Hawkeye sized himself up with the man who turned the corner. At 6'2'', the SHIELD agent was imposing upon most people from height alone, not even counting his sturdily built form from constant rigorous training, as well as the well-fleshed arms from using a bow that required up to 1100 newtons just to draw. Add in the arrow, and the array of weapons he carried, he cut a figure that demanded intimidation and respect. Slade however, was half a head taller and looked down upon him as though he was someone far shorter. The gun aimed straight at his face told him this man was not messing around.

"You have five seconds to drop the bow." Slade hissed. He didn't LOOK like one of "them" but he wasn't exactly going to take chances. Not like there was only one organization that wanted him dead.

"Listen friend. I am not here to fight." Hawkeye nodded as he lowered the bow, but refused to drop it. "I am only here to talk."

"Break into my house? And tell me you want to TALK?" Slade asked rhetorically. "You have one good sense of humor. It's called knocking."

"Slade." Sanya's voice called out as she held her gun at the woman. "There's someone here too."

The mercenary turned around, looking at Black Widow who was just looking at the two children menacing her with soviet-era firearms. Evidently... surprised at the scope of her situation.

"Okay. What the hell do you two want?" The assassin asked as he kept his gun focused on Clint.

"We're here to help. Slade." Natalia explained as she continued to glance at the two children. They couldn't have been more than fifteen, either one of them. And yet they hold those firearms like they knew how to use them. "My name is Natalia Romanoff."

"Great. You gave me a name. Why should I trust you?" Slade asked as he kept his gun on Clint.

"Because. A man called Steve Rogers asked for us. And he would also like to tell you, that he's not some thug the American government uses to bludgeon their enemies into submission."

The gun was lowered. The tension averted.

"In that case. Let's talk." Slade said as he waved them over to the living room. Even then, his hand never left more than a few inches from his gun as he made sure to step in after the pair.

"Nice house you got here." Clint commented as he sat down. A small glass was placed in front of him as he saw Slade pour him a shot of rum. Barton kept his eyes on Slade before taking up the glass, carefully scrutinizing the glass, not making a move until Slade took a drink himself. Even then, he set his glass down and sat tight.

"Thank you. Now then, I will give you both the benefit of the doubt and assume you aren't here to kill me." Slade began.

"Well. You certainly are one helluva paranoid guy." Eila smirked.

"If you seen what happened at my other house, you'd see why." Slade shot back as he took a drink, watching Clint carefully examine his. The archer didn't even as much as seem to give a damn about what Slade just said, only watched as Eila poured herself a shot of the same rum, and took a drink herself.

"How old are you again?" Clint asked as he finally took a drink himself after seeing how Eila didn't drop dead.

"What? Can't I sample? I've only seen it." Eila smiled sweetly. "Mhm. Sweet."

"Got to be 21 or over in most places." Slade nodded as he filled another glass and then handed it to Eila. "But do as you please."

"Thanks." Eila smiled again. "But I really don't want to see myself drunk."

"I agree." Sanya said looking in her friend's direction. "Slade. So..."

"Yeah. Looks like Captain Star-spangled Banner got my message. But how did you two find out?" Slade asked the two girls. "I didn't say anything to Trudy or Erica did I?"

"No. We actually found out through someone called Bucky." Sanya explained. "He was writing to Trudy about how much he wanted to go and help, but he would be busy fighting some people referred to as HYDRA. Now Trudy didn't really take him seriously, until he mentioned all these things about a man in an owl costume and how he was planning to destroy the world? Something like that?"

"Not just the world. All of reality." Slade replied as he turned to Hawkeye and Black Widow. "I am assuming you are taking this very seriously."

"Wouldn't be here if I wasn't. Now then, how do we found this crazed terrorist in an owl costume?"

"Oh I already found him in Equestria." Slade nodded. "It's getting there that's going to be an issue."

"Don't you have that giant... crystal... diamond... here?" Sanya asked quizzically.

"The short answer? It is no. The long answer? Sort of. You know how mentioned I had to move? Well, let's just say this job did manage to piss off a number of people that weren't pushovers. A certain organization known as "The League of Assassins". Does that ring any bells?"

Evidently not judging from the shrugs and shaking of the heads. You see, the league of assassins were perfect examples of people you did not want to pissed off. They were the best examples of an organization you should not piss off. Unfortunately for Slade... that's what exactly happened. A few weeks back, a Chineseman had been shot to death under mysterious circumstances. Said Chineseman had a rather mysterious means of earning money, where this money came from was a mysterious source. In case anyone missed the point, the man had been an associate of the league. Ras Al Ghul had sworn vengeance upon the man who killed him. Somehow, the league managed to figure out it was Slade who had committed the deed.

"So about this league of assassins." Barton began. "They seem like serious business."

"They are. An organization comprised of some of the most lethal men and women on this planet. That's the reason for the move, and why I was somewhat paranoid at the fact you two were working for them. But rest assured. Besides, the league aren't too much of an issue. At least not for me."

"Nice ego." The archer replied as he took another drink. "But the question remains, how do we get to this "Equestria?"

"I hope Captain Star-Spangles told you a thing or two about the place?"

"Yeah. Seeing is believing though."

"Alright then. Well the way I got there was through a diamond or crystal of sorts. Which I had stashed away in my other house, and that is currently now in possession of the league. They aren't exactly known for thievery, but I am sure they wouldn't mind adding a thing or two into their funds. Which is why I am going to locate the diamond."

"Okay. We get big crystal. What then?"

"Well, I would have been stumped on how to get it to work, but luckily we got these two." Slade gestured over to Sanya and Eila. "Now I am assuming you managed to get here, just without that rock?"

"Yeah." Eila nodded. "What? Were we supposed to have taken it with us."

"That's normally what happens. Don't know what's wrong then." Slade said as he stroked his beard. "Okay. The gem is still off the grid as of now, and so, I will be busy finding it. Luckily, I got informants and eyes along this entire coastline as well as a metric ton worth of people who owe favors. We will probably get the current location tonight."

"Alright. What then?"

"Prepare. Because the league is no pushover." Slade replied. "While that, I guess I'll assume you're staying. There are some bedrolls in the basement, while that, I'll be right back."

"Where you going?"

"Going grocery shopping." The mercenary replied as he straightened his tie. "And also looking for some tools."

"You got a shooting range or anything somewhere here?" Hawkeye asked as he flipped open his bow.

"Yeah. It's in the basement." Slade motioned as he tapped the ground right where they were sitting on. The ground gave way revealing a secret passage. "Have fun."

"Will do then." Barton commented as he flipped open his bow and readied an arrow or two. "Mind if I take some of these apples?"

"Knock yourself out." Slade's voice called as the car's engines hummed to life.

"You're from 2014? Right?" Eila asked as she sat down on the edge of the railing as she watched Hawkeye get a bulls-eye on the target.

"Yeah. What?"

"So why do you use a bow?" Eila replied. "A bit old fashioned huh?"

"Coming from the person using a TT pistol. I don't think someone from 70 years before my day should be calling me old fashioned." Clint grumbled as his next shot landed right in the bulls-eye once again. "This thing is highly customized. More reliable than an AK-47, has the penetration and range of an Enfield, the stopping power of a shotgun and with proper skill and use, the killing power of an airstrike. In the right hands, it's a suitable weapon for an entire army. A one man army. Myself."

"Nice ego." Eila replied as she readied to throw an apple. "Hey. THINK FAST."

With a beautiful swish, the arrow flew through the air, cutting the fruit in two when it had hardly as much as left Eila's hand.

"Uh huh..." Eila nodded slowly as she grabbed a few handfuls reading to throw them up into the air. "How about now?!"

It was like the apples were in slow motion. Expertly, the archer pinned every last one to the wall.

"Too easy." Clint yawned. "How about something harder?"

"Okay." Eila nodded as her hands gripped around another apple. "Try this!"

With a mighty heave, she sent the fruit flying. No sooner did she do so, the arrow had already left the bow and was sailing directly for the flying fruit. It would be nailed straight against the wall.

"Okay... okay... I got this." Eila said once again, causing Clint to almost shake his head. Grabbing another of the fruit, she ran all the way to the other side of the range. Clint already had an arrow ready. The moment she tossed it up, the arrow went flying.

He wouldn't have believed what happened next if he hadn't seen it with his own eyes. Eila's hand shot out like greased lightning, and in with mind-boggling fast speed, her fingers were around the arrow, comically, she pulled it down, looking at it with a smile before inspecting it herself.

"Did... did you..."

"Just catch that? You bet!" Eila replied as she took a bite out of the apple. "Mmm."

"So how'd you do that anyways?" Hawkeye asked as he approached Eila while retrieving his arrows. "When did you begin training?"

"Only about three years ago. But really, call it magic. I can see three seconds into the immediate future. Not only that, but I get every exact detail of it. So, that's how I was able to catch your arrow. Besides, my reflexes are probably faster than the average layman's pace. Catching an arrow? Nothing much! I dodge lasers in my free-time!"

"Mhm." Hawkeye nodded as he retrieved his arrows. "Wonder what Nat is doing."

"This is a large television." Sanya commented as she took a look at the massive screen that was sitting atop the counter. "But... how do you turn it on?"

"On? There's the button."

"Oh. But... shouldn't there be a knob?"

"Not anymore. Back the day yes. By the way, the TVs we have are in color." Natalia nodded as she found the remote, turning the device on. "Want to watch a show?"

"Sure. How about the news? Reports?"

"You want to watch the news huh?" Black Widow grinned. "Alright then."

Sometimes, it was amazing to see how some people got amazed by seemingly ordinary things. Color TV for one. TV with sound for another. TV without knobs... or maybe, a remote. A concept which had to be explained to Sanya, who currently, would not see any of these things for likely many decades.