• Member Since 15th Sep, 2014
  • offline last seen Sep 8th, 2023

MrAlterad


A brony living in the states that really likes Fallout.

T

The moon has turned red, and a sinister mist seeps from the Everfree forest. An alarming number of Equestria's heroes have vanished in its time of need. It's up to those that remain, and three others from another world, to save Equestria from the monsters born from the mist, and the villains that control them.


A FFIX crossover, Equestria Side.
This story is on hiatus until I finish its sister story, currently editing chapters...
Want to know what's become of Spike, Pinkie and Applejack? You can find out here.

Chapters (11)
Comments ( 32 )

Okay, I was a little sadden by not having the romance scene with Steiner and Betrix, but now we get one with Steiner and Rarity. After all, she's wanted a coltfriend that was a gentleman, and who better than the captain of the Knights of Pluto?

Rarity is going to fall hard and fast for Steiner if he keeps acting like the knight he is. :twilightsmile:

I like this other side story, but have to wonder how everyone is going to get armor and add-ons. And it does make me wonder what the Alicorn Amulet would be like now. And could it possibly be synth to make something even better? That didn't corrupt it's wielder?

Nice chapter, and nice Dash pick. I hope we actually see her wearing something like that in the future in the rp.

Okay, when you said you were going to split up the party, this isn't what I expected. Good job!

5257938 Thanks xD
Hope it wasn't a little 'much'. :twilightblush:

Let us synth the book and the amulet.

And then let us take a jolly romp through the poison joke!

I hope God Save the Queen will still show up.....

I like the pointy bits...

I do love your Ninth Fantasy series, I really do. :pinkiehappy::heart:

I like this new story from the Equestria view and I am looking forward to seeing where it goes.:raritystarry:

But I have to say I was a little disappointed Sunset Shimmer did not change back into a unicorn,:pinkiesad2: I was looking forward to reading about her doing the magic thing with Twilight,:twilightsheepish: and am honestly a little disappointed to read she as a former student of Celestia, now has no apparent Magical abilities.:twilightblush:

Not to be a buzz kill, but I honestly am more found of your Gaia storyline, Like I've state before major Spike fan hope Twilight finds a way to contact him soon.:twilightsheepish::moustache: Will you be updating it soon?

5269442 I'm updating Equestria twice for every Gaia until they're both caught up, so Gaia is next in line.:ajsmug:
Regarding Sunset Shimmer, I didn't want her to be a Twilight clone. :twilightblush: I guess she could have been a red mage, but the idea of her being more of a protector seemed more fitting to me. Humble redemption seeker and what-not.
Glad that you're enjoy my series though! Expect to see some Spike early in chpt 23. :heart::twilightsmile:

I say, poke her in the eye.

Trixie! Why does this side of the tale keep getting all of my favorite characters? So you've now got two full teams, and two crystals left. I wonder how you're going to split everyone up to take down the last two.

5277461 Yes.... two crystals left.:scootangel:

**Updated, scenes added.**

I want to apologize to my readers for chapter 8. :fluttershysad: I set up two scenes for it, but didn't deliver. When I get off work, I'll add Rarity's reaction to the second seal and her boutique, as well as Steiner and Dash's drink off. And sorry again. :pinkiesad2:

Fine chapter. But I have to wonder now: how many teams will be forming??????

5283808 To cut to the chase, three. Fluttershy will be the third group, who will have only have small sections devoted to whats going on with her. (besides chpt9, which is all Fluttershy)
The others will be split in two groups, which will be [redacted].:twilightoops::twilightblush:

5283853

That's going to be a lot of work on your part. Steiner and Rarity are clearly going to be in one group, so now I just have to wait to see how things divide up.

Ipsen's castle already?! I feel sorry for these three. Nice to see Daring Do make an appearance in your fic. Now, if we can get some certain musical ponies to pop up, we'll be well on our way to having a complete set of the fandom's favorites! :twilightsmile:

Loved it. Keep them coming!

This looks intriguing, should I read this side or the Gaia side first?

5390155 Both sides are intended to be stand alone, for the most part, with intersecting parts weaved within. As with two weaving stories, reading one will shed light on certain aspects of the other. I intend to finish Gaia before Equestria, so it'll be a little bit before I continue this side. So feel free to read whichever you prefer. Gaia side has less ponies, but more focus on Spike AJ and Pinkie, while Equestria side has less focus, covering the rest of the mane six as well as a few others, while lightly touching, well, basically every major MLP character.
Take from that what you will, I hope you enjoy something out of both of them. :twilightsmile:

I like the story, but you really have some problems with your writing style. Far too often you blend thought bubbles of multiple characters in one paragraph, or you switch whose perspective we're looking through with no warning.

For example:

“Well, there went that effort.” Sunset said as everyone eyed the platform. “Have either of you seen this before?” She asked the Gaians, and got a 'no' from both of them. She and Twilight shared a look and nodded. Just what have those two been through to pull that off? She stole her crown, and now another short visit later they're buddy buddys? I get she's the princess of friendship, but isn't it risky to trust her so quickly? The element of loyalty wondered as Twilight spoke up.

We aren't shown until the very end of the paragraph that the one thinking this is not Sunset, who was actually speaking, but instead Rainbow Dash, and even that is indirect. At the very least, the bubble needs to go in its own paragraph, preferably with the identifier in front. Little things like this, and occasional LUS, or incorrectly formatted 'said tags' dot the story so far across all three chapters I've read so far.

5404146
Yea, I look at that and see the flaws. Gosh it looks terrible. Guess that means I'm better at writing now then I was last month. :twilightblush:
If I wrote that passage now, it would look more like this:

“Well, there went that effort.” Sunset said resignedly as she looked to the platform, then to Vivi and Steiner. “Have either of you seen this before?” The Gaians shook there heads, prompting Sunset and Twilight to share a look, nodding in unison.
Just what have those two been through to pull that off? Rainbow Dash thought as she looked between them, her brow furrowed with envy. She stole her crown! And now another short visit later they're buddy buddies? I get she's the princess of friendship, but isn't it risky to trust her so quickly? The element of loyalty wondered as Twilight turned to everyone, speaking up.

Suffice to say, the remaining chapters are probably littered with these problems. When I get back to continuing Equestria side, I intend to go back through the first 11 chapters, and rectify problems like this.
I'm glad you're enjoying the story despite my terrible writing. Sorry for making your eyes bleed. :pinkiesad2:

5404415 Eh, it's okay, I'm friends with Prak. I know the value of slogging through badfic to find the chewy caramel center. :pinkiecrazy:

Ehehehehee~ :pinkiecrazy:

P.S. Also start a new paragraph before starting Rainbow's thoughts there in the rewrite. Remember: New idea, new paragraph. Helpful tip! *nod* :twilightsmile: Or maybe you did and just lost the space between them in the quote. Hard to tell. More strikingly, I would cut this entirely:

The element of loyalty wondered as

and start a new paragraph with 'Twilight' there.

5418179 Gosh, I had to wrack my brain recalling that one. Been a while since I last played WoW. :twilightblush:

Well, now I caught up on the Equestria side after knowing what was happening after Applejack, Spike, and Pinkie's disappearance. I really can't wait until continue this side of story once you're done with Gaia. Though, now that I think about it, and I know it's the start of the 3rd Disc on Gaia side, is it possible for Zidane's group to go either to Terra or Equestria? I've been thinking about that all day yesterday after I've caught up on Gaia's side of the story. lol Man, I really do love being to into stories that I really enjoy. It feels as if I was part of the group. Anyway, I'm guessing that about the part of which planet that Zidane's party would go to would be a surprise. So I'll leave it at that. :pinkiesmile:

ayh

I can see the Equestria side becoming a bit like Final Fantasy Tactics where you can go to various towns and recruit new soldiers and train up recruits, with various 'hero' characters littered around the world. Plus as more Gaia magic pours through, you may even see ponies changing jobs or trying out new things, a novel idea in a society used to getting cutie marks and then devoting their entire lives to just that one thing. Not to say they abandon cutie marks, but that they can now find whole new applications for them.

Like Bon Bon making candy and then trying out to be a Chemist, and of course Lyra as a Bard, though knowing her she'd definitely try her hoof at every other job class like a kid in a candy store, maybe giving her an eclectic range of skills. Too bad Fancy Pants and Fluer are gone, Paladin Fancy and Dancer Fluer would have been fun to play with, with a bumbling Blue Blood trying to find a 'noble' job class that would fit him.

Anyway, fully caught up with both sides now so I'm looking forward to see what comes next. Fantastic job on your updates and best wishes to you!

Clearly supposed to be a matching number with the FF9 cast. I kind of wonder where this will lead and two corresponds to who.

Getting a better idea on why certain characters were chosen for each end as far as contributing to character dynamics.

Makes sense that the events would nerf Discord a bit.

Okay. Trixie. I did not expect, but it sort of makes sense. Pointy hats and all.

Login or register to comment