Fluttershy has a little problem that she needs a trained herbalist to handle but when she asks a certain enigmatic Zebra for help, she gets far more than she bargained for.
Ohoho~ This is gonna be interesting
...Am I.. seriously first? Well then, first time for everything o3o..
NOW TO READ!
oooo a Zecora fic I haven't read one of those in a while
oh and >>973500973500
Great, another one of these... Well, at least it's got a romance tag, so there's that, and at least Zecora rhymes here. You'd be surprise how many people just don't bother with that.
You need more commas. It's kind of sounds weird reading long dialog without any pauses, and it's a bit jarring.
Oh gosh, that Bronze Hoof at the end. Scary!
I noticed a few very minor typos, but so far this and the last chapter were great
Onto the next!
Zebra Lightning! Fu--... Buck Yeah!
Well , it's good to see a positive turnout for this. The next chapter where all the action occurs is about 90% done but complications with internet have kind of been eating away at what little time I have to write.
First Zecora fic I ever read...
Interesting so far... want more ^^
Don't worry! You should take your time 'n stuff
I can't wait until this story is updated, you're a very great writer
You have my attention.
The first Zecora clop in a long time, and its lesbian.
I guess I'll read it anyway.
I do have a m/f/f fic if you are interested called "Soaring Hearts" if semi stright shipping/clop is what you desire.
And I thought I had read all the Rainbow x Soarin Clops...
Heh um...Let's see how the rest of this pans out?
Btw, for the sake of the Interwebs,
Needs a tad bit of touch up on the sentence structure and grammar, not to mention the spelling and capitalization (Rarity and Rarity's, not rarity and rarities. It's a name, not a description). Besides that though, I like it.
This is actually interesting.. It's not just another clopfic.. It has a plot.. yay..
sounds interesting lol. ill save it for a bit of a read later
Of course it has a 'plot'... Yay! Conscious immaturity!!
Thought the same thing but you beat me to the post XD
1) 'okay' writing
2) Decent story concepts, not strung together super well
3) Worth a read if you're into clop
4) Thumbs up
Can I punch the colt who wants to take advantage of Fluttershy in the face? I need something to take my anger out on
Seems like an interesting development. Hope to see more!
Good so far. Ill probably look to see if it has updated when im bored later today. Good story, plot is good but could be better. all in all 7/10
Well, I'm intrigued.
ooo interesting xD
ha i really like this, its good !
a stache for you my friend!!
Why must you cliffhanger meeeeee!
When you described the halo cutie mark, it should be lower case. Halo is a game, a halo is different.
Damn! A fight scene in a clop-fic! Never would have expected that... And then there's those ghost colts... Makes you question who's really human, and who's a ghost... Or who's a pony and whatnot.
The drugstore was out, Lyra and Bonbons shop didn't have a cure and Rainbow Dash is probably riding Soarin like a bull right now.
That alone made this chapter
i like zecora for her rymes but i gues with what you sayed that she aint bounded to the rules any more, she aint needed to ryme again... but she still could. i wonder how this will escalate, if the tribe is coming its bound to be a asome show down between ponies and zebra huh?
She will stil;l rhyme here and there, It's still part of who she is and yes, I do plan to cover/wrap up all plot (heh plot) points in the next few chapters.
and lol on plot heheh your realy punny...
and i would love to see how fluttershy is, when she is all burning up... i pity the poor bronze hooves...
... The lion sleeps tonight. Very good, but now that song is on repeat in my head.
Kinda wish a favorite would = a upvote :( 115 favs and 61 makes me a sad panda
Fluttershy went bright crimson. Holding her hood under Zecora's chin, pulling her close she whispered in Zecora's ear. "And just think, we get to do that every night for six more nights."
and also ''...''
and then how far did zecora traveled to get in the everfree? if so the morning would be crouded with zebra willing to get a piece of meat, and that aint a good thing >.<
thx for catching that typo, corrected.
Good story, but are you actually planning to use that plant thing? I mean, you spent so much time building it up and it kind of just died.
originally yes, but the requestee of this fic suggested I avoid weird hentai like play in favor of something a bit more traditional. I left it in there for a false pretense twist of sorts.
But if you're not gonna use it then I don't really see what else you could do with the story. The only other things you could do is something about what Zecora was thinking about or something else with Bronze Hoof. I'm not trying to tell you how to write the story, I'm just saying, in my point of view, there's not many other directions you could take the story.
there's multiple unresolved plotpoints, like Zecora's grandmother, the ghosts at the spring and other things. Trust me, I plan 2-3 chapters ahead sometimes.
holy shit, that was hot! whoever dislikes this obviously has little imagination for what it must feel like. great story btw.
Wow...um...so...I need to stop reading clop before work it always has the same result.
Anywho, this was awesome in so many ways, porn with plot or plot with porn... whatever.
I'm wondering how far you plan on taking this? Their is not enough Zecroa fics out there let alone longer ones, and I would love to see more of this.
I notice in this chapter you forget to use 'an' a lot.
She never took Zecora for the strong muscular type mainly becuase if didn't show in her body shape...
I believe it should be it.
Oddly enough I noticed many fics avoid using the word 'an' unless the author is British as Americans seem to have habit of short handing 'an' into just 'A' for usage when stressing a noun.
anyways, thanks for pointing out the typo.
Very very nice story. There were a few typos, but nothing major enough for me to actually remember and I'm not going back to find them.
Kinkie Pie, one of my top three favorite personalities of the ponies
>>10222751022275 That's because, as a whole, Americans are stupid, grammar ignorant greasy slobs.... man I love bein American /)^3^(\
*Aims laser at Bronze Hoof* Exterminate! EXTERMINATE!!! *Beeowm!*
I feel the same way. In my fan fic, (or at least in the Epilogue) I am Flutter's bodyguard. I'd pin Bronze Hoof to the ground with knives, by his feet.
>>10222751022275 If they aren't using an, then they aren't doing it right. 'An' should always be used in place of 'a' when put before a word with the first letter being a vowel (unless, if you're like me, it just doesn't sound right at all with 'an' instead of 'a'). You wouldn't say a elephant, because that's stupid and it sounds stupid (i.e: 'That is an ugly cow.' as compared to 'That is a funny cow.'). Seriously, the butchering of the English language nowadays irks me to no end.
This could definitely use some grammatical assistance (much to lazy to point anything out myself, but a good editor/proofreader could help where I won't) and maybe a small toning down of the vulgar sex language (really. That isn't sexy.).
However, this is interesting. Some of the dialogue kills it (make that a lot of the dialogue), but I love me some futa ponies. Too bad there won't be any tentacle graping going on, but I can definitely settle for this. I'm interested in seeing what the tribe does about the whole forsaking thing and I'm curious as to where this relationship will go. Zony babies go!
Overall, so far, I give it a 6/10. I'll hold any further judgement until it's finished.
Read the wiki on the word and yes 'an' is typically associated with straight British English and not the American dialect (where we have been using both interchangeably since the turn of the 20th century). Even a English professor at Harvard mentioned that the word is almost non- existent in American written publications, favoring shorthand 'A' over the British counterpart.
Grammar Nazi is one thing but I find too many people treat English as a rigid never changing landscape instead of a fluid, ever changing and breathing creature it truly is. (Like how professors get all uppity when someone uses the word "literally" as a placeholder for "metaphorically" despite the fact people have been using it with intentional hyperbole as far back as the 1700s.)
Also I'm not toning down the vulgarity any so feel free to down vote me now.
anywho the next chapter should be out sometime later today.
>>10448151044815 It's almost non-existent cause Americans are lazy. It's, unfortunately, a fact of life and kind of sad, but oh well, what can you do? If people what their sentences to sound stupid, all the power to them. I'll keep my 'an's and 'a's and use them properly to improve the flow of my story.
Can do, though. Excessive vulgarity = porn star bullshit. It's bland, unattractive, and detracts from the intimacy of the act (especially if you are going for romance).
I wouldn't call it excessive exactly. Zecora's silly rhymes seem to counterbalance it fairly well but to each his/her own I guess. (it also seems to kinda match Fluttershy, as the shy reserved ones are always the loudest when doing "the act")
IE on your stories the constant paragraph indents and florid over describing structure makes me want to club a seal. Everyone has bones to pick with different styles of writing I guess. To this you must agree though: at least it's not a wall of text or ponyfall >>.
>>10450981045098 I just realized that you don't indent all your paragraphs. *sigh* Another rule of the English language being thrown to the wind over time. I guess I'm just old fashioned (considering that's how I was taught). I'd like to say that I love description, though. It really helps to truly pull you into the story and paint the world in a better image. I know that a fuck ton of description, though can be bad (i.e. you can't even get a story told due to describing how nice/bad the tree bark looks.)
While I have absolutely no idea what ponyfall is, I will agree on the first part. Walls of text make me want to murder and bleed from my eyes.
>>10450981045098 I would like to say, however, that the rhyming does help to alleviate the vulgarity, but I just can't see Fluttershy being the pony to... express herself? in such a way. Perhaps Rarity or maybe Twilight, but the only time I could see Fluttershy being loud is during the Iron Hoof episode or when she gets super stressed.
Ponyfall is a humanized POE story where pretty much more than half the stories in the series were "hey lets haz sex with humanized mane six" self fulfillment stories, the worst of them being ponyfall rainbows. Anywho the next chapter will be rolling out soon, even though you thumbs it down I hope you at least stick around for how it ends.
>>10451711045171 Of course. I'm still interested in what you're gonna do with the uhhhh. Other stuff. I'll hafta read back to previous comments to remember seeing as it's been more than five minutes since I've check, but omfg why do people even read ponyfall. There isn't any faith in humanity. They aren't even ponies anymore. Human x Pony is bad enough, but when you take out the pony all together, you might as well make it a Harry Potter or Twilight fanfic or something. Just change the names and, bam! You won't even be able to tell the difference.
Sooo....did Zecora forget that she didn't have to rhyme, or was it simply habit that she continued?
Excitement of the moment can bring out old habits/old habits die hard :p OR the author is extremely lazy. Take your pick
I can't wait for the next chapter, I have to know what's going to happen next!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Luna is the ruler of the Night, as well as Dreams and Nightmares. Of course she can know what is going on. I just hope there isn't another motive for Luna's doing this and not Celestia.
I felt bad for poor Angel though. I don't think is enough conseling in Equestria to help him after what he hears/heard and see/ssaw.
dun dun duuuun! the plot thickens, really enjoying this story can't wait for more
death by grinder... i wonder if those zebras enjoy cupcakes as much as pinka does...
My, "ITS A TRAP!" senses are tingling.
Hmmm, Princess of the night.... therefore through extension, everything that's happened so far, speaking in 'classic' terms, falls under her domain... makes sense I guess. Besides, Luna is much better for these situations than Celestia.
I wonder how far this'll end up going... all out war anypony?
Love the stories, hope you can put another one out soon.
Why do I get this feeling that Luna is helping Zecora's granma
Hurrah! New chapter!
Next chapters running a bit behind but it should be out in roughly a week or so.
>>10156801015680 i must disagree with you by there. , there are plenty ways to go even then it suddenly turn from an clopfic to an tragi action romance story, just remember the tribe is about to come hunting zecora and Fluttershy down
Yeah, because that's story's never been done before. You know, when that one special member of a society opposes the evil ruler's ideas, fights with them and then changes everything. Nope, never seen that before.
Given enough time, one has read all story archetypes and will start clamming for something "original" where originality hasn't existed for generations. You should be happy this isn't some self insert HIE garbage that plagues this site AND is using a very underused character.
>>10427361042736 DELETE DELETE DELETE
First of all, I'm more of a movie critic so I was referring to when someone uses the "Moses" storyline, which has been to death. Second, I haven't been on the site for long. But I have been around long enough to know that your story is actually pretty good. Third, what you said about Zecora not being used enough is kind of invalided for me because I read an amazing Zecora story with good comedy, some great "steamy" scenes, a creative and original story, and one of the best twist endings ever. The thing is: just because something doesn't have something people really hate and has one really great character, that doesn't make it good. You need other aspects to back it up. For example, if a movie has horrible writing, a bad story, and awful direction, but it has a great actor in it, there's very little chance of that actor saving the movie. Also, what's HIE?
The power of quad post! anyways I thought you were referring to the fic, my apologies. Hie is human(s) in Equestria or as the fimfic irc chat put it "self insert wish fulfillment mary sue garbage".
...What if the Elements of Harmony turns the human into a pony permanently? I came up with that on my own, though it's probably still not original...
Pretty much any variant you can think of has been done to death.
...I feel inferior then...
you do realize that people are being banned for "firsting", right?
Damn single minded tribals. Be more like zecora dammit.
no one knowing fluttershy is hard to belief... then again she was never that talk active... all tough her animals... that spell is a big NOPE!
it would ruin the stor--- a crazy fluttershy?... PUT THE SPELL ON!!, PUT. IT. ON!!
English perfect is your.
If things weren't bad enough.
Zecora better get to Fluttershy quick...before it's too late (if it isn't already.)
How dare they attack Celestia! How dare they!!!!
Yay! Luna's in charge now!!!!!
hmmm.... did Celestia also have giant... mmmmmmmmm - bananas?
Holy shit, I just read of a chapter of, what is technically, a clopfic, for the plot rather than the plot
crazy good story line, great characterization, good amount of grim-darkness without reverting directly to rape or guro.
add some fruit punch to the mix
Be careful Zecora! Not considering possible side effects, you should NOT use citrus fruits! The citric acid could negate or at least weaken the effect of the brew, I know this for a fact that citric acid can prevent the effects of Ibuprofen and Melatonin. Just be careful
....Madre de dios
no comprende. Babble fish seems to think you are talking about a river in south America.
>>11599231159923 Mother of god...I must find this spear.
your avatar makes me feel fuzzy inside
wow for a clop this is a amazing ''plot''
yeah i yust sayed that but it could be seen two ways you know
Ok...what did I miss?
The fourth wall. Not only have you broken it, but you have planted explosives on it.
huh, you would think that lyra woud be all over the human thing. also mountain dew and doritos are delicoius