197
6,642
Fluttershy has a little problem that she needs a trained herbalist to handle but when she asks a certain enigmatic Zebra for help, she gets far more than she bargained for.
oooo a Zecora fic I haven't read one of those in a while
oh and >>973500
I believe this is what you are looking for
Great, another one of these... Well, at least it's got a romance tag, so there's that, and at least Zecora rhymes here. You'd be surprise how many people just don't bother with that.
You need more commas. It's kind of sounds weird reading long dialog without any pauses, and it's a bit jarring.
i like zecora for her rymes but i gues with what you sayed that she aint bounded to the rules any more, she aint needed to ryme again... but she still could. i wonder how this will escalate, if the tribe is coming its bound to be a asome show down between ponies and zebra huh?
Fluttershy went bright crimson. Holding her hood under Zecora's chin, pulling her close she whispered in Zecora's ear. "And just think, we get to do that every night for six more nights."
hoof???
and also ''...''
and then how far did zecora traveled to get in the everfree? if so the morning would be crouded with zebra willing to get a piece of meat, and that aint a good thing >.<
But if you're not gonna use it then I don't really see what else you could do with the story. The only other things you could do is something about what Zecora was thinking about or something else with Bronze Hoof. I'm not trying to tell you how to write the story, I'm just saying, in my point of view, there's not many other directions you could take the story.
Wow...um...so...I need to stop reading clop before work it always has the same result.
Anywho, this was awesome in so many ways, porn with plot 
or plot with porn... whatever.
I'm wondering how far you plan on taking this? Their is not enough Zecroa fics out there let alone longer ones, and I would love to see more of this.
Very very nice story. There were a few typos, but nothing major enough for me to actually remember and I'm not going back to find them.
Kinkie Pie, one of my top three favorite personalities of the ponies 
>>1022275 That's because, as a whole, Americans are stupid, grammar ignorant greasy slobs.... man I love bein American /)^3^(\
>>1022275 If they aren't using an, then they aren't doing it right. 'An' should always be used in place of 'a' when put before a word with the first letter being a vowel (unless, if you're like me, it just doesn't sound right at all with 'an' instead of 'a'). You wouldn't say a elephant, because that's stupid and it sounds stupid (i.e: 'That is an ugly cow.' as compared to 'That is a funny cow.'). Seriously, the butchering of the English language nowadays irks me to no end.
This could definitely use some grammatical assistance (much to lazy to point anything out myself, but a good editor/proofreader could help where I won't) and maybe a small toning down of the vulgar sex language (really. That isn't sexy.).
However, this is interesting. Some of the dialogue kills it (make that a lot of the dialogue), but I love me some futa ponies. Too bad there won't be any tentacle graping going on, but I can definitely settle for this. I'm interested in seeing what the tribe does about the whole forsaking thing and I'm curious as to where this relationship will go. Zony babies go!
Overall, so far, I give it a 6/10. I'll hold any further judgement until it's finished.
Read the wiki on the word and yes 'an' is typically associated with straight British English and not the American dialect (where we have been using both interchangeably since the turn of the 20th century). Even a English professor at Harvard mentioned that the word is almost non- existent in American written publications, favoring shorthand 'A' over the British counterpart.
Grammar Nazi is one thing but I find too many people treat English as a rigid never changing landscape instead of a fluid, ever changing and breathing creature it truly is. (Like how professors get all uppity when someone uses the word "literally" as a placeholder for "metaphorically" despite the fact people have been using it with intentional hyperbole as far back as the 1700s.)
Also I'm not toning down the vulgarity any so feel free to down vote me now.
anywho the next chapter should be out sometime later today.
>>1044815 It's almost non-existent cause Americans are lazy. It's, unfortunately, a fact of life and kind of sad, but oh well, what can you do? If people what their sentences to sound stupid, all the power to them. I'll keep my 'an's and 'a's and use them properly to improve the flow of my story.
Can do, though. Excessive vulgarity = porn star bullshit. It's bland, unattractive, and detracts from the intimacy of the act (especially if you are going for romance).
I wouldn't call it excessive exactly. Zecora's silly rhymes seem to counterbalance it fairly well but to each his/her own I guess. (it also seems to kinda match Fluttershy, as the shy reserved ones are always the loudest when doing "the act")
IE on your stories the constant paragraph indents and florid over describing structure makes me want to club a seal. Everyone has bones to pick with different styles of writing I guess. To this you must agree though: at least it's not a wall of text or ponyfall >>.
>>1045098 I just realized that you don't indent all your paragraphs. 
*sigh* Another rule of the English language being thrown to the wind over time. I guess I'm just old fashioned (considering that's how I was taught). I'd like to say that I love description, though. It really helps to truly pull you into the story and paint the world in a better image. I know that a fuck ton of description, though can be bad (i.e. you can't even get a story told due to describing how nice/bad the tree bark looks.)
While I have absolutely no idea what ponyfall is, I will agree on the first part. Walls of text make me want to murder and bleed from my eyes.
>>1045098 I would like to say, however, that the rhyming does help to alleviate the vulgarity, but I just can't see Fluttershy being the pony to... express herself? in such a way. Perhaps Rarity or maybe Twilight, but the only time I could see Fluttershy being loud is during the Iron Hoof episode or when she gets super stressed.
Ponyfall is a humanized POE story where pretty much more than half the stories in the series were "hey lets haz sex with humanized mane six" self fulfillment stories, the worst of them being ponyfall rainbows. Anywho the next chapter will be rolling out soon, even though you thumbs it down I hope you at least stick around for how it ends.
>>1045171 Of course. I'm still interested in what you're gonna do with the uhhhh. Other stuff. I'll hafta read back to previous comments to remember seeing as it's been more than five minutes since I've check, but omfg why do people even read ponyfall. There isn't any faith in humanity. They aren't even ponies anymore. Human x Pony is bad enough, but when you take out the pony all together, you might as well make it a Harry Potter or Twilight fanfic or something. Just change the names and, bam! You won't even be able to tell the difference.
Luna is the ruler of the Night, as well as Dreams and Nightmares. Of course she can know what is going on. I just hope there isn't another motive for Luna's doing this and not Celestia.
I felt bad for poor Angel though. I don't think is enough conseling in Equestria to help him after what he hears/heard and see/ssaw.
Hmmm, Princess of the night.... therefore through extension, everything that's happened so far, speaking in 'classic' terms, falls under her domain... makes sense I guess. Besides, Luna is much better for these situations than Celestia.
I wonder how far this'll end up going... all out war anypony? 
Given enough time, one has read all story archetypes and will start clamming for something "original" where originality hasn't existed for generations. You should be happy this isn't some self insert HIE garbage that plagues this site AND is using a very underused character.
First of all, I'm more of a movie critic so I was referring to when someone uses the "Moses" storyline, which has been to death. Second, I haven't been on the site for long. But I have been around long enough to know that your story is actually pretty good. Third, what you said about Zecora not being used enough is kind of invalided for me because I read an amazing Zecora story with good comedy, some great "steamy" scenes, a creative and original story, and one of the best twist endings ever. The thing is: just because something doesn't have something people really hate and has one really great character, that doesn't make it good. You need other aspects to back it up. For example, if a movie has horrible writing, a bad story, and awful direction, but it has a great actor in it, there's very little chance of that actor saving the movie. Also, what's HIE?
add some fruit punch to the mix
Be careful Zecora! Not considering possible side effects, you should NOT use citrus fruits! The citric acid could negate or at least weaken the effect of the brew, I know this for a fact that citric acid can prevent the effects of Ibuprofen and Melatonin. Just be careful
Reset Password
Resend Verification Email
2
21
13
Joined February 2012
6,642 ( 30,627 )
More
Less
Post Comment
Refresh
Image: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_TkbcIBMy1Y/T2Ioh3r-T_I/AAAAAAAABGA/BAJcgUhFm7c/s1600/firstpost.jpg 
a stache for you my friend!!
holy shit, that was hot! whoever dislikes this obviously has little imagination for what it must feel like. great story btw.
Image: http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/346/057/670.png
dun dun duuuun! the plot thickens, 
Cancel
Send