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SketchyStart 1121

Joined April 2012
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    SketchyStart's Stories (1)

    • The Mare and the Wolf
      Fic starring mainly Fluttershy, Applejack and an wolf OC

      25,675 words · 819 views · 73 likes · 3 dislikes
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    Wolves are a feared, yet rare sight in Equestria. But when a yellow pegasus finds a lone wolf wounded in the Everfree Forest, she can't help but to take him in her cottage. Cursed with cold memories he would rather forget and a strange voice in his mind, the creature is taken aback by the mare's unconditional kindness.

    This is my first fic. Critiques are welcome and appreciated, as long as they are construtive.

    First Published
    25th Apr 2012
    Last Modified
    10th Aug 2012

    Comments ( 43 )

    #1 · Chapter 14 · 59w, 5d ago · · ·
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    this is very good I'm surprised it hasn't go ten a lot of attention

    #2 · Chapter 14 · 59w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>498497

    I just submitted this, so I'm still waiting for feedback.

    But thank you, nonetheless.:yay:

    #3 · Chapter 2 · 59w, 5d ago · · ·
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    what is this a crossover of?

    #4 · Chapter 14 · 59w, 5d ago · · ·
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    I'll have to read this...from the summary though it seems similar to the fic I'm currently writing called Memories. Similar, but nowhere near identical. I'll put it on my list to read later when I have some free time :pinkiehappy:

    #5 · Chapter 14 · 59w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>498521 what is this a crossover of and this is a really good fic!

    #6 · Chapter 14 · 59w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>498755 It's not really a crossover. I just derped when I submitted this:derpytongue2:...fixed

    #7 · Chapter 1 · 59w, 5d ago · · ·
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    well well.. what do we have here ^^. a wolf? this could be good :yay:

    i always see myself as a wolf when inserting myself XD so i love the idea!:pinkiehappy:

    #8 · Chapter 2 · 59w, 5d ago · · ·
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    ^^ that went well im loveing the conflict here!:pinkiehappy: i taste a slite hint of racisim :rainbowlaugh:

    #9 · Chapter 3 · 59w, 5d ago · · ·
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    #10 · Chapter 7 · 59w, 5d ago · · ·
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    winter is a gentle men, im just throwing that out there ^^

    #11 · Chapter 10 · 59w, 5d ago · · ·
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    a sir, to the end all right ^^

    #12 · Chapter 12 · 59w, 5d ago · · ·
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    very intresting split personality disorder, i had my suspicion but now i know. things are going to get fun :pinkiehappy:

    #13 · Chapter 14 · 59w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>500109 You're really digging this fic aren't you?

    #14 · Chapter 14 · 59w, 5d ago · · ·
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    definetly going to be following this one ^^ :pinkiehappy:

    #15 · Chapter 14 · 59w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>500133 i love wolfs ^^ what can i say :D :pinkiehappy:

    #16 · Chapter 2 · 59w, 4d ago · · ·
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    So the fact that he only eats other predators isn't another form of racism, or it somehow makes predatory behavior easier for ponies?

    #17 · Chapter 14 · 59w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>502145Simply put, he doesn't like to kill anything that can't fight back. I might give it a little edit.

    #18 · Chapter 14 · 59w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>500298Well I'm glad you like it. I'll send you a message when I add more chapters, how's that?:twilightsmile:

    #19 · Chapter 14 · 59w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>502242 i  favorited this so i will know of any updates. but be my guest ^ ^ :pinkiehappy:

    #20 · Chapter 14 · 59w, 4d ago · · ·
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    I just read this story and this is quite an excellent story. It's interesting that an OC would be a wolf. I do hope that Winter gets rid his annoying roommate in his head. :yay:

    #21 · Chapter 1 · 59w, 1d ago · · ·
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    i can just picture him thinking 'This Is gona hurt like a BITCH'

    #22 · Chapter 2 · 59w, 1d ago · · ·
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    i really want to hear a not pony shout I AM NOT AN ANIMAL and give a little triad when the ponies are being racest to a caracter

    #23 · Chapter 7 · 59w, 1d ago · · ·
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    some people would say like a boss

    but i say like a SIR

    #24 · Chapter 7 · 58w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>499851 don't you mean gentle wolf?

    #25 · Chapter 15 · 53w, 3d ago · · ·
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    glad to see this story back:pinkiehappy:

    #26 · Chapter 15 · 53w, 3d ago · · ·
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    [Sees the update] Wohoo! :yay:

    #27 · Chapter 15 · 45w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Awesome story. There is too few good wolf storys on fimfic.

    Keep it coming.

    #28 · Chapter 16 · 44w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>1012453I'm not so sure about the "good" part, but thank you.:twilightsmile:

    #29 · Chapter 16 · 44w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Oh shoot here we go Winter vs Fenrir/bobcats Moar!:flutterrage:

    #30 · Chapter 16 · 44w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Tip:

    When you write thoughts, write like this:

    The day was sunny, I thought.

    OR

    'The day was sunny,' I thought.

    ALSO:

    "Thanks." Fluttershy nodded. means that Flutters nods AFTER she says 'thanks'.

    #31 · Chapter 16 · 44w, 3d ago · · ·
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    I get the feeling Fenrir is related to the Nightmare. Did the Nightmare and Loki get it on:rainbowhuh:?

    #32 · Chapter 16 · 44w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>1061668I'm thinking of doing a prequel when this sstory is finished, explaining Fenrir's origin.

    #34 · Chapter 16 · 43w, 3d ago · · ·
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    DUN DUN DUUUNNN

    #35 · Chapter 4 · 42w, 2d ago · · ·
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    First and whoa this guy is creeping me out

    #36 · Chapter 16 · 38w, 6d ago · · ·
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    This is very well written. Yes, there's a few mistakes , but nothing serious. The chapters are short, but poignant something I like in most writings.

    #37 · Chapter 16 · 35w, 6h ago · · ·
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    The plot thickens

    #38 · Chapter 2 · 28w, 9h ago · · ·
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    I know this chapter is really old, so this message will probably be pointless, but I still wanted to say something.

    Applejack seemed way too OOC here. The random swearing even after the initial shock (she didn't even swear when they were fighting Nightmare Moon, or Discord, or anything else), the unwarranted attack (there is no way she could have missed the fact that Fluttershy wasn't in any trouble), the continued insults even after the misunderstanding (again, no reason she would act like that after finding out she was completely wrong), suggesting they toss him back to basically die (once again after the initial shock), etc.

    Basically, I don't think AJ was in-character at all during the entire chapter, and it was very annoying. The rest has been good so far, but the part with AJ just felt forced.

    #39 · Chapter 3 · 28w, 9h ago · · ·
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    For a while, the blond pony considered the option of warning her friends and chase the accursed beast out of town and took a few seconds to think of a nice enough way to tell Fluttershy the wolf just couldn’t stay.

    :ajbemused:

    What?

    And then Rarity was just as OOC?

    And then Applejack broke her promise less than a minute after making it?! :twilightangry2:

    Are all of them going to be this OOC in the story? The only character whose characterization hasn't been mangled so far is Fluttershy. Everyone else could be replaced with OCs with how out-of-character they are.

    I love the idea behind the story, but the bad characterization is starting to kill it for me...

    #40 · Chapter 16 · 26w, 6d ago · · ·
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    MOAR!!!!!!:flutterrage:

    #41 · Chapter 16 · 22w, 5d ago · · ·
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    when is the next update?

    #42 · Chapter 16 · 11w, 4d ago · · ·
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    Darnit! There hasn't been a new chapter since August! And just when the story was getting really good too. I mean seriously, what a cliffhanger, Fenrir can possess other animals even though Winter is his host!? That's really really bad! I hope you update sometime soon! This story is really good!

    #43 · Chapter 12 · 1w, 2d ago · · ·
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    yes!

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