• Published 9th Nov 2014
  • 16,892 Views, 1,922 Comments

Deadpool in Equestria - MrAquino



What happens when Deadpool, the Merc with the Mouth, lands in the magical land of Equestria? Same thing that happens in every cross story, but with more Deadpool!!!

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Forgot about her: Pony #154: Sweetie Drops/Bon Bon

Both Luna and Deadpool were in bed again... wait... how did you-!?
Luna's turned on by out feats!
Indeed. Kinda makes us wonder why we didn't have public sex after killing Tirek.
We're crazy, but not THAT crazy! We would've found a nice room to have sexy time in! Hell, Tirek's corpse could've been a great place! Like the Revenant!
...That's an awful comparison, Crazy, even for you.
Deadpool looked up, giving the two a momentary break from furious making out.
"Can you two keep it down!? I'm trying to get it on!"
Sorry.
Sorry.
Deadpool and Luna continued to make out with each other, not even caring about Equestria's Cross-breeding relationship regulations, something that Celestia made a thousand years ago to make sure nopony or anything were going to make more powerful beings together.
DICTATORSHIP!!!
Shut up!
Ignoring his voices, Deadpool and Luna... please... stop french kissing each other.
"Jealous?"
"Of what?" Luna asked
"Uh... how great I am, despite not having a muzzle?"
"Oh... well... muzzle or no muzzle, you really are the stallion of my dreams."
"...Baby... If I were able to dream walk like you, then we'd be getting it on like-" A knock was at the door. "DAMMIT!!!"
"Well... you better answer that. But I promise this: if you do something just as, or more, great than the last thing... my chambers are open for you. ...And is that a unicorn horn I see?"
"GAH!!!" Deadpool blushed, putting on his briefs, mask, and a bathrobe. "Sorry! What you just said... it's so hot! Like your ass!!!" The knocking got louder. Deadpool teleported to Luna and both delivered a passionate kiss again. "Now you just stay there, Mooncheeks. I'm gonna impress you the f**k out!"
"Go f**k yourself, Wade."
"I love it when you swear!" Deadpool answered the door. "Yellow?"
CLANG!!!

Deadpool woke up, though his face was covered by a sack and his back tied to a chair.
"Wha-? What the-!?" He yelled "HEY!!! Who hit me with a f***ing frying pan!? HUH!?!?!? That's so cartoonish, even for me!!!"
"...Welcome Deadpool." A cybernetic voice spoke "We have been watching you."
"AHH!!! Who's that!? Jigsaw!? Arnold Schwarzenegger from True Lies!? BATMAN!?!?!?"
"No... We are part of an anti-monster agency in Canterlot. We are here to-"
"OH! BON BON!!!"
"...What? Uh... no! This is-"
"Special Agent Sweetie drops!!!"
"...Ugh... alright, you win." The sack was taken off and Deadpool saw that he was the mare in front of him, wearing a special collar.
"Hey! Wassup!?" He looked around to see that they were in an empty room. "Huh... this your place? Bought an apartment? Or-?"
"No, now be quiet! I have been watching all of your moves around Equestria, each of them, random and dangerous! I may have scratched you off as being like Pinkie Pie, but your ability to quickly heal from everything thrown at you and laugh it off is something that intrigued me. And your combat... never have I seen a monster like you fight so wildly, yet effective."
"Wait? Monster? Oh, silly Bon Bon! I'm no monster! I'm just a mutate who had cancer, got these awesome powers, and my own fanbase, some who are reading this right now!"
"...what are you-?"
"Say hi, folks!"
"Who are you talking to?"
"Oh, right! Forgot; see, many of the most intelligent beings in the world are those that are able to see every other dimension! For now, we'll use this!"
"Wait... is that a-"
"Yep! And now... Viola!"
"... WHAT THE-!?!?!? Who's that!?"
"That is a reader! And so is he... she... he again... she again! Oh! And there's the author of this!"
"Author!? He looks fat!"
"He prefers 'big boned'."
"...Sweet Celestia! They're... they're hideous!"
"Hey! Not all of them are hideous! Look at me! Plus, I see some of the ladies there. Mmm... are those real?"
"...What could be fake about them?"
"Easy; limbs, eyes, hair, booty, and most importantly, their lips."
"...Lips?"
"I don't want to say boobs. They're very sensitive about that."
"Why are you whispering?"
"No reason! Now, time to zip it up and... there!" Bon Bon shook her head.
"This is incredible! Deadpool! You have to give this ability to Celestia!"
"Eh... nah."
"No!? Why not!?"
"Look, it's bad enough that some people believe they're being watched by some deity that watched over all of us, though science has proven that we're nothing more but a mole on the universe's ass and not the center of attention as we imagined, but do you honestly want everyone to realize that they're being watched by average Joes, almost every day, every night, and continuing until they die but will be replaced by someone else?"
"...I never thought about that."
"Good." He ruslted her mane. "Glad we had this little talk, my little pony."
HEEHEE!!! Title dropping!
Roll credits.
"Now... if you excuse me... I gotta do something that will allow me to 69 Luna!"
"...69?"
"Not for the faint of heart. But I'm sure many of the cloppers out there are just saying 'Yeah!' like Rick James."
"...Cloppers?"
"Forgot to add, but some guys find you hot. If you saw them, wouldn't you be disgusted if they... moaned a lot?"
"...I... guess so."
"Good. Now... EPICNESS!!! AWAY!!!" He jumped out a window.
"...He is the most strange character I've ever said."

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