The two chaos agents watched on through their binoculars as the strange new Unicorn escorted the mare away. He was trailed by a large group of his followers. They knew what they were looking at. There was no way they could deny it. “Those new ponies just took over Ponyville.” Spray-On said, not believing what he said.
“Eyup.” Portobello responded, lowering his pair of binoculars.
“Chief is going to have a fit when he hears this.”
Spray-On’s binoculars fell to the ground, before he rubbed his forehead. ‘This pony is giving me a migraine.’ “Because, these guys look like trouble and not the kind of trouble the boss likes.”
“But I thought Chief loves all sorts of trouble.” Portobello stated, not getting his point.
“Yeah, the ‘I don’t know what is going on, but seems fun’ kind of trouble,” Spray-On tried to explain. “Not the ‘I’m going to kill ponies and cause destruction’ kind of trouble.”
“Oh,” Portobello said, finally realizing it. “That sounds bad.”
“Of course it sounds bad, you dolt.” Spray-On’s voice grew a couple octaves higher. “They might kill somepony, namely us. And we don’t want that, now do we?”
Portobello started to sweat. “Wait, I can answer that?” He closed his eyes and looked visibly strained. Spray-On facehooved. ‘Unbelievable.’ He thought. “No.” The obese unicorn finally answered.
“Exactly.” Spray-On sighed. “So, that means…” He held out, hoping his partner would answer it correctly. ‘For once.’
“We go get snow cones?” Portobello said. His mouth starting to water at the thought the icy treats.
Spray-On’s left eye twitched. “NO!” He yelled, before covering his mouth. ‘Nopony needs to know we’re here. Especially those freaks down there.’ He took them off and whispered. “We go tell the boss.”
“Oh, yeah.” Portobello nodded.
Spray-On groaned in frustration. ‘Let’s get this over with.’ He thought. Both of the unicorns focused on a transportation spell and poofed away. The next moment, they appeared at their headquarters.
The moment they appeared, Nonsense was in front of them. They both screamed, as he just smiled at the two. “Goodbye.”
“Don’t do that?” Spray-On growled. “You dolt, don’t you at least try to have the least bit of curtsy.” Nonsense just continued to smile, like he hadn’t said anything. Spray-On’s eye twitched again. He hated this place. He hated everyone in it. They were all lunatics, some bordering on complete and utter madness that even the great god of chaos himself, Discord, would envy.
“Yes.” Nonsense nodded his head.
Spray-On groaned. ‘Nothing this guy says makes sense, well, hence his name. But why must he speak in opposite?’ “Just take me to Chief.”
“Oh, but there’s not a pony who does not want to see you?” Nonsense said.
“What?” Spray-On said, trying to decipher what he meant. Nonsense rolled his eyes and pointed over to where a brown Earth pony stallion stood. He was wearing a fine grey suit, with a red fez on top. He could make out his cutie mark, which was an hourglass. He looked over to Portobello. “Stay here.” The plump pony tried to salute, but ended up hitting himself in the eye. ‘Idiot.’ He shook his head before trotting over to the new pony.
“Oh, you must be that scout I’ve been hearing about.” The new pony said, lending out a hoof to shake.
Spray-On took it and shook. “Well, it’s nice to know someone’s appreciating my hard work.”
“Yes, it’s brilliant.” The Earth Pony smiled.
Spray-On smirked. “Thank you, thank you. I am awesome...I haven’t seen you around here before. Why’s that?”
“Oh, the name’s John Smith,” He pulled out a wallet and opened it. “I’m a member of the CIA. A.K.A. Chaos Inspection Agency, ph.” Spray-On looked at it. ‘Seems legit. Though, he’s got a strange name.’ “So, have you seen anything strange or out of the ordinary?”
Spray-On just stared at him for a moment. ‘CIA guy huh. He’s got to know some high up members of the organization. This is my chance. I’ll just astound him with my intellect and he’ll recommend me to his superiors. Goodbye goons, hello hot mares.’ “You’re standing in the headquarters of ‘Chaos Industries. Of course it’s strange and out of the ordinary.”
John Smith chuckled. “Yes, of course. But anyways, I’m just trying to make sure that your establishment is up to snuff.”
“Well, it’s as snuff a place as there ever can be.” Spray-On chuckled as well.
“That’s true.” John Smith took a quick look around. “It does hold up. No health hazards or such to be seen.” He then turned his attention back to him. “May I ask where you’ve been?”
“Oh, just a routine scouting mission.” Spray-On said.
“Oh, yes.” Spray-On nodded. “You won’t believe how many creatures live in the Everfree Forest.” He puffed his chest out. “But I’ve dealt with my share of them.”
“I’m sure you have a lot of stories of heroism and such, but I’m not here to listen to them.” John Smith told him.
“Right, yes.” Spray-On rubbed the back of his head. “Anyways, would you like a tour?”
“Uh, no thanks.” John Smith shook his head. “Already got one.”
Two mares zebra mares, one on each side walked past rubbing his sides. “Mr. Smith, it was our pleasure. For your trip must be at leisure.” ‘Aren’t those Quizler’s mares? Oh, John, you’re going to get it.’
Smith gulped, looking very nervous around them. “Th-thank you for that.”
“HEY!” A voice called out. They turned to see a green stallion walk up to them. His trademark cane close at hoof. ‘It took him long enough.’ “Get your hooves off of my mares.”
“Your mares?” John Smith said, his eyes darting between them. “Look here. I didn’t do anything to anymare. They were just taking me on a tour of your facility.”
Quizler eyed the two blond mares. “Foxxy, Moxxy, is that true?”
“Of course, Quizzy Wizzy.” They said, nuzzling his neck.
Quizler blushed. “Not in front of the new guy.”
“Ah, but we love to see you blush,” Foxxy smiled.
“But we’ll stop and keep all of this hush hush.” Moxxy ended.
Spray-On rolled his eyes. He didn’t know why they let those two zebras in here in the first place. Chaos Industries was a pony only organization. No other species were allowed. The only reason these two were let in were because they were chummy with Quizler. ‘They wouldn’t bother me so much, if they just quit with the rhyming. What, are all zebras incapable of normal speech?’
Quizler took his gaze from his marefriends, to John. “If they say you weren’t fooling around, then I believe you.” He extended a hoof. “The name’s Quizler; Stallion of many questions.”
The inspector took his hoof in his own. “John Smith, Chaos inspector extraordinaire.”
“Really?” Quizler rubbed his chin. “Haven’t heard of you.”
“Oh, I get that a lot.” John Smith swiped a hoof in the air and chuckled. “The life of an inspector isn’t that interesting.”
“I can imagine.” Quizler smiled. “Say, have we met before.”
“No, I don’t think so.”
“I could have sworn…” Quizler shook his head. “Nah, my mistake. You just remind of this one fella I’ve run into a couple of times.”
“I get that a lot too.” John Smith looked over to Spray-On. “Sorry, Quizler, I need to finish a few things before I can delve into idle chit-chat.”
“Ah, yes.” Quizler nodded. “Work before pleasure, as they always say.”
‘Buzz off.’ Spray-On thought. ‘Can’t you see I’m trying to get my rightful place with the other big shots.’ “Now, I must know, where were you before you managed to teleport here. It is of utmost importance you tell me everything.”
“Sure thing.” Spray-On said. “I was just outside Ponyville, when…”
“Wow, wow, wow,” Quizler cutting him off, while eyeing John Smith. “That’s classified intel.”
“I’m a member of the CIA.” John Smith shot back. “I can do whatever I want.”
“Well, let me see your papers.” Quizler demanded.
“Your papers.” Quizler raised an eyebrow. “I want to see you identification.”
John Smith hesitated. Spray-On growled. ‘He’s ruining it. My one chance to get into the big leagues and this dolt is pushing it away. Well, I’ll show him.’ “When, we saw Ponyville overrun by these strange ponies.”
Both stallions and mares looked at him. “What?” They all said.
Spray-On nodded, beaming with pride. “The town’s been occupied by these grey, black ponies. They had these strange golden eyes….Did I mention they talked about eating ponies.” He laughed. “Can you imagine that? Eating ponies. That’s just ridiculous.”
Looks of horror swept across the other two stallions. John Smith left without a word, other then ‘Ditzy’. ‘Whoever that is.’ Quizler took off in another direction. Spray-On just stood there looking proud of himself. ‘He’ll certainly mention me now.’
Quizler briskly walked to Chief’s office, with Foxxy and Moxxy right behind him. He always had a thing for the strange and unknown, and well, you don’t get much stranger than the mares behind him. ‘Yes, I’m in love with a couple of zebras, but can you really blame me? The answer to that is no and if you say differently, I”LL KNOCK YOUR BUCKING TEETH IN!’ Still, he had to deal with hearing snide comments about them from the fellows at work. Chaos Industries wasn’t friendly towards other races outside ponydom. ‘They’re lucky I need I need this job.’ Still, it represented a challenge to him as well, but hey, he always loved a challenge.
But he was getting off topic. He didn’t have time to do that. He had to get to Chief and warn him. He wouldn’t let Ponyville fester under some iron hoof. ‘Hopefully Surprise and Pinkie can keep their shenanigans on the down low. Those ponies don’t sound like the type to take much standing.’ Yes, he knew he may be worrying too much, but he couldn’t let anything happen to them. EVER!
“Quizler, what’s wrong?” Foxxy asked.
“Is it about this morning, when we hit you with a gong?” Moxxy asked as well.
“We didn’t mean too.”
“But you just came out of the blue.”
Quizler sighed. “No, it’s not that.” He told them. He was a bit reluctant to tell them the truth. “I just have to see the Chief is all.”
“Then, please tell us.”
“And stop all of this fuss.”
Quizler felt guilty for not telling them, but he couldn’t. ‘It wouldn’t look good if the organization found out about my relatives.’ It was only a moment later that they arrived at the door. He kissed their cheeks. “I’ll see you two later.”
They smiled. “Be careful with Chief.” Foxxy stated.
“Lest he give you much grief.” Moxxy agreed.
“I will.” Quizler said, before opening the door. When he looked inside, he saw Chief sitting at his desk, with a pencil in his mouth. He was obviously busy writing something. ‘Probably another story.’ Chief was adamant about getting a story published on Equestria Daily, even though he spent most of his time ranting about how much he hated it. “Uh, sir.”
Chief spat out his pencil. “Come in and close the door behind you.” Quizler did as he was told. “Now, what is it that you wanted? I’m very busy.”
“It’s about the new ponies.” Quizler started. “The ones you wanted to keep an eye on.”
Chief nodded his head and smiled. “Yes, they seem like the perfect candidates for our needs.”
“Well, they’ve seem to have taken over Ponyville.”
Chief gave him a ‘what’ face. “They took over Ponyville.” Quizler nodded. “Well, that was unexpected, but in a good way.”
“What?” Quizler wasn’t expecting that.
“Well, now we just need to stir them up.” Chief said, rubbing his chin. “Get them frustrated or something like that. There’s nothing more chaotic then angry barbarians.”
“But what about the Ponyvillians? Surely we have to think about their safety.”
“Oh, don’t you go fretting about them.” Chief told him. “They won’t be harmed. I mean, that’s not what we’re about. No. We’ll just sit back and look over this situation for now. Let it play out. Who knows. Maybe they’ll free our master.”
‘Doubt it.’ Quizler rolled his eyes. “At least let me go into town.”
“And risk someone recognizing you.” Chief raised an eyebrow. He sighed. “Look, I know you have relatives in Ponyville, but relax. Our agent will report in if anything bad happens.”
“Sir, she’s not one of stable mind, if you know what I mean.”
“That’s why she’s perfect for this job.” Chief pounded a hoof on his desk. “No one will suspect her.” His gaze became a full on glare. “And for future refrences, don’t you dare call her that. She’s as clever as any pony I’ve met.”
Quizler put his hooves up in front of him. “I didn’t mean anything by that. I care about her just as much as you. I’m just concerned for her safety.”
“As am I.” Chief looked down crested, sighing. “But she’s a big pony. She can take care of herself.”
“So…” Quizler started.
“I’m sorry, but you’ll have to wait.” Chief said. “Maybe you can visit them during the celebration that’s coming up. You know, those Wonderbolts are coming to town in a few days. You’ll be less conspicuous then.”
Quizler nodded. “Fine,” He said, going to leave. “But if I hear they’ve hurt my family, this little plan of yours is finished.”
“Boy, I’d rather shoot myself in the head with one of those fancy hand cannons those griffons got then let anything bad happen to anypony.” Chief growled.
“Flintlocks.” Quizler said.
“They’re called flintlocks.” Quizler tried to explain.
“I don’t care what they’re called,” Chief turned his back to him. “Just go do your job.”
Quizler sighed. ‘Can’t teach an old dog new tricks. I guess it applies to old ponies too.” He closed the door on his way out.
Ditzy flew as fast as her wings could take her. She couldn’t believe she forgot to deliver a package. She never did that before. She kept kicking herself mentally for it. ‘Stupid, stupid, stupid. Oh, the boss isn’t going to like this. He’s going to yell at me, again. And he’ll be all mean and in my face. And he’ll make me cry. But what if he fires me? How can I support my family then? Well, my husband could get a job, but he’s always off on some adventure. He’d never be happy staying in one place for that long.’
Finally, after what seemed like hours, which was only a few moments, she started to grow tired. Her wings were growing stiff. She knew that she needed to land, or else she would crash into the ground. ‘Again.’
She came down and landed onto of a large building. Ditzy wiped her brow. “Whew, that took a lot out of me.” As she rested, she didn’t notice the roof underneath her started to crack.
Mayor Mare was shaking like a leaf in the wind as she trotted beside the strange unicorn beside her, with his lackeys all over Ponyville. She didn’t know what to think of him. He had singlehoofedly taken over the town. Her town to precise. And to top it all off, he licked her cheek and talked about how tasty she was. ‘The nerve. If he dares try and touch me like that again, I’ll hit him with the biggest restraining order Equestria has ever seen.’ She wasn’t about to let some perverted, headstrong, macho, military stallion come and boss her around. She was going to stand up for herself.
Once they came upon the town hall, they stopped. “This is your spire?” The grey unicorn asked. “How disappointing.”
“Dissapointing?” Mayor Mare said, glaring at him. “I’m sorry, if this didn’t live up to your expectations, but this is my town. So, I can make my ‘spire’,” She rolled her eyes. ‘What is a spire anyway?’ “Look anyway I want it to.”
“That does not make sense.” The unicorn said. “All spires should be one and the same. A supreme commander should know better.”
“Well, I know what I like, and this is it.” Mayor Mare said, going over to the door. Before she could turn the nob, a muscular grey Earth pony shoved her to the side, as he charged headfirst into the door. The door went flying off its hinges. “WHAT THE BUCK WAS THAT ABOUT?!” The Mayor yelled, not caring about the fact that she had cursed in public.
“Secure the building.” The commanding unicorn told his subordinates, ignoring her. Another four ponies surged inside.
“What is the meaning of this?” Mayor Mare scowled. “I demand that you tell me. You can’t just go knocking down doors and scaring ponies. This is my town.”
The unicorn sighed. “Since you are the previous supreme commander, I will oblige you this once. After that, I shall no longer do so.” He told her. He turned to the others. “You heard her. No knocking down doors.”
“But how are supposed to open them?” One of his subordinates, a pegasus, asked.
The unicorn eyed him. “Didn’t I order I give out the order to never question my…orders.” The Pegasus ducked his head underneath his wing, in sheer fright. “We shall find another way.”
“You could try knocking.” Mayor Mare suggested. The unicorn just stared at her. She sighed. “Or I’ll just open them for you.” She walked over and opened up another few sets of doors. ‘For all their bravado, they sure lack brains.’ Finally, after walking up a few stairs, they came into her reception area. A white, dark grey maned, mare sat behind her desk. Mare recognized her secretary, Sarah Tailin, easily. “Sarah, we have guests.”
Sarah Tailin looked up. “Do they have an appointment?” She looked through her papers, visible frustration was plain on her face. “I don’t see any papers…Did I lose them?” She looked up apologetically. “I’m sorry, Mayor. Things have been hectic.”
Mayor Mare held up a hoof. “No need.” She said, nodding to the stallion beside her. “He sort of imposed this meeting.”
“Imposed?” Sarah quirked an eyebrow.
The unicorn stallion growled. “Enough! Let me into your command center, or I shall break that door down.”
“What did I tell you about breaking down doors?”
The stallion grumbled. “Not to.” He looked away, not wanting to make eye contact.
Mayor sighed. ‘You know. I think I’ve figured him out…He’s an overgrown colt, that’s what he is.’ She walked over to the door and opened it for him.
The stallion looked over to the brown colt they had taken along as well and then to a female Pegasus who was standing beside him. “You, take him to a separate room and keep him there.”
The Pegasus mare nodded. “Yes, sir.” As she turned, the Mayor noticed that her cutie mark was a pair of bright blue wings. She thought it odd, in the sense that most of the others had weird objects, such as the stallion beside her. His cutie mark was some sort of blue flintlock.
“Move it.” The mare nudged the brown stallion.
“I heard him.” The stallion said, looking rather scared of her. “You don’t need to repeat.” The two moved on back the way they came.
The Mayor started on through the door, before the unicorn commander put a hoof in front of her. “I shall go in first.” He looked over to one of the other grey stallions, who brought him a device exactly like his cutie mark. He held it awkwardly in his mouth.
“Haven’t you heard the expression, ladies first?” Sarah stated.
The unicorn put his flintlock onto the ground and looked at her inquisitively. “No, I haven’t.” He looked around. “I don’t see any ladies here.”
Both mares stared at him with mouths agape. The Mayor glared at him. “Take that back.”
“What?” The unicorn asked. “I didn’t take anything.”
The Mayor put a hoof to her face. ‘Calm down. Overgrown colt. He’s an overgrown colt.’
The grey stallion picked his flintlock back up and walked through the doorway. Once inside, he placed his gun on top of her desk. He looked over to her. “Now, that we are here, I can take complete control of your lessers.”
“Lessers.” The Mayor asked.
“Yes,” The unicorn started looking around, as if he was trying to find something. “Lessers. The beings who you command.”
“You mean the citizens.”
“Yes, whatever you call them.” He kept on looking. “Where is your power core?”
“Power core?” Mayor Mare raised an eyebrow. “If you mean the generator, it’s in the basement.”
“Basement?” The grey stallion said, as he stopped moving. He just shook his head. “Ugh, I’ve had enough of these strange new words.” He looked over to her. “Just tell your ‘citizens’ that I am now in charge.”
“I think I would have to call a town meeting for that,” The Mayor explained. “And that will take time…But really, this is just unnecessary. Ponyville is a calm and peaceful town and we have a big celebration coming up next week. The Wonderbolts are coming.”
“Wonderbolts? Ponyville? Celebration?” The unicorn growled. “No more new words.” He turned to her. “Make this ‘town meeting’ happen and do it quickly.”
The Mayor knew she didn’t have much say in this. They didn’t have any form of defense and these newcomers were armed and deadly. She’d just have to comply. ‘With a murderous psychopath? What could go wrong?’
Just then, the roof collapsed on top of desk, smashing part of it and sending the other side over, which caused the fancy flintlock to go flying out the hole in the roof. The unicorn’s mouth fell open. The Mayor didn’t need to guess what happened, when she saw Ditzy Doo on top of the rubble. “Sorry,” She said, offering apologetic smile. “I just don’t know my own weight.”
“It’s no problem, Ditzy.” The Mayor said.
“Yeah, we’ll just get some ponies to repair it.” Sarah Tailin said.
“Oh, I have something for you, miss Mayor.” Ditzy said, grabbing a package out of her mail bag. It was a small brown package. She flew off the pile of rubble and landed in front of her. “Here you go.”
Mayor Mare took it. “Thank you very much.”
Ditzy then looked over to the stallion, who was still gawking at the hole with his mouth agape. “Oh, another new pony.” She trotted over to him. “Hi, my name’s Ditzy Doo, but you can call me Derpy if you want. A lot of ponies do. What’s your name?”
“My…My…Bullseye.” He mumbled, not paying her the least bit of attention.”
“Well, hello Bullseye.” Ditzy said, smiling. “It’s so nice to meet you, but I have to get home. I have make sure my little muffins are behaving themselves.” She flew off.
The Mayor trotted over and giggled. She lightly nudged his shoulder. “So, Bullseye I take it.”
Bullseye’s face contorted into one of pure rage. “After her!” He yelled, startling everyone. He looked over to some flyers. “Capture the one named Ditzy Doo or Derpy If You Want and bring her to me. And bring me my bullseye.”
The Pegasus nodded and flew out. They others ran. The mayor just stared at him. “Aren’t blowing this out of proportion?”
“I want my bullseye.” Bullseye growled. He stomped his hooves. “I want it. I want it. I want it.”
The Mayor sighed. ‘I certainly hit the nail on the head with him, didn’t I.’
I apologize if this chapter is too short or if it has some problems. I wrote most of this while I was sick. I was going to include some other characters and scenes, but I decided to save them for the next chapter.
I own neither Resistance, or My Little Pony Friendship is Magic.
Resistance is owned by Insomniac.
My Little Pony Friendship is Magic is owned by Hasbro studios.
I do hope you enjoy this crossover of mine and if you any ideas, suggestions, or tips, please don't be afraid to contact me.