When Applejack get sick, the cmc tries to get their cutie mark... Of course, they dont have a clue about this. Why not borrow a book about from Twilight?
-can have a little bad grammar..... Sorry
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 13th Jun, 2014
- offline last seen Oct 1st, 2016
RavenFire2908
Changed my name cus, I found out that I love ravens. And I got a new main OC
RavenFire2908
Joined 13th Jun, 2014 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- gmen15 · 4.2k words · 648 14 · 9.9k views
- zaponator · 7.2k words · 98 3 · 1.9k views
- The Princess Rarity · 2.9k words · 102 6 · 2.5k views
- Kiue Jin · 9.2k words · 26 1 · 2.2k views
- TCSNxs · 1.3k words · 118 8 · 2.7k views
- Sugar Moon · 28k words · 348 18 · 7k views
- Liquid Savage · 6.5k words · 62 4 · 5.6k views
- frenettek314 · 1.1k words · 16 0 · 805 views
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.073 seconds
Total duration
1,052 users online
2,198,596 hits today, 2,561,572 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
ll I liked it! and I really like the cover art too!
5205587 thanks... I just saw it... and thats what came to me, I Guess...
It is Tissue not Tishu . It is Should not sould . Other than that a good story
5205717 .............. Sorry, I am not that good in engish....
Great story! I hope you write more sick and sneezy AJ!!
5205762 maybe I do...
A side from a few spelling mistakes
A nice short story
Enjoyed it. :)
5206049
5206071
Don't worry greenfire, we all make mistakes
I really enjoyed the story though :3
Aw~ This really feels like one of the usual (and funny) adventures the CMC would undertake. There were some noticeable grammar errors here and there, which a spellcheck could help you catch. But overall, it was a very enjoyable read. Thanks!
Well, my first suggestion would be to look over some of your spelling and grammar. In the first three paragraphs alone I found thirteen different spelling and grammatical errors:
Should be angrily, ;, usually, kitchen, and ; or , and.
Should be don't, she (lowercased), didn't, and tired.
Should be *Sniff* (uppercased), "Fine," (with a comma), grabs, and walks.
My second suggestion would be to pick a tense and stick with it. I'm not to be particularly harsh or picky, but in your first three paragraphs, you switch between have two different tenses:
That's not to say this story is necessarily bad; I just think it needs a bit of polishing. If you need some help with your editing, or if English isn't your native language, there are groups out there to help you with your spelling and grammar. Utilize them. They can help a lot; trust me.
5205774 You really should, Applejack is awesome!!