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Psychological Torture 101
Test Subject #324 - Applejack
“I’m gettin’ a might tired of all these here tests. How many more are there?”
“Please check the test chamber entry signs to mark your progress through the tests.” The voice from the walls replied. “Still, as you complete the next test I’d like to ask you a few... questions.”
“Questions?” Applejack echoed, starting to look about the room.
“Yes. For example, can you please confirm whether or not you are an apple farmer?”
“Well, shoot, course I am... but I don't recall mentionin’ nothin’ to you ‘bout that.”
“Personal information and history was obtained during preceding tests thanks to the Aperture Science Brain Scanner. I know... everything... about you.”
“Now, look here, I don’t appreciate no pony pokin’ around my brain.”
“Oh, don’t worry, I couldn’t do any harm even if I tried. Your brain is very simple... surprisingly so. I could beat it with a rock and nothing would happen. Yes... so very simple. It’s a small... or rather large... miracle you can walk and talk at the same time.”
Applejack’s eyebrows furrowed. “Now wait just an apple pickin’ minute. Are you calling me simple?”
A few slow claps emanated from the walls of the room, “Hmm... my slow clap processor has been getting a lot of use lately. Now, getting back to you... let’s just say a potato battery is more complicated than your brain... and trust me, I know... I’ve been a potato battery before.”
“I ain’t going to stand here listenin’ to you insult me like this! Get your flank out here so I can buck it from here to next Wednesday.”
“Oh yes, that’s exactly what I’m going to do. I’m going to just stroll right out there so you can teach me a lesson. Yes... bucking. I hope, for your sake, bucking is something you enjoy.”
“Now what makes you say that?” Applejack asked, words dripping with her pent up anger.
“It’s what you’ll be doing the rest of your life... considering you’re too stupid to do much else.”
“I AIN’T STUPID! And you had better watch out, cause if I find where you’re hidin’ I am goin’ to tan your hide!”
“I’ll make sure to leave out a crusher for you. Now, let’s continue testing. Who knows? You might actually learn something... but I doubt it.”
Test Subject #259 - Rainbow Dash
“For this next chamber we will be augmenting the test to better suit your own mental... uniqueness.”
“Oh... okay, that sounds cool.”
“A clear path to the exit door has been marked. Your only challenge is to perform it perfectly without touching the floor once you’ve begun.”
“Is that all? ...that’s a peace of cake.” Rainbow replied, stomping her hoof once before bolting out on the test. Still, with in a few minutes of beginning her portal assisted ascent, Rainbow Dash landed on a faith plate, getting catapulted across the room and into the nearby wall. The force of the collision knocked the wind from the pegasus, and it was only the long fall boost that kept her from flopping down on the floor.
“Failure number 1. I thought you said this test was going to be a piece of cake?”
“I did... you just caught me off guard with that floor thing. I’ll get it this time.” Dash snapped back, running off at the test again. Still, within seconds the pegasus was flying through the air, having made another error. She landed in the exact same place, under the scrutinizing eye of a security camera.
“Failure number 2. Are you sure? ...you seem to be having an awful lot of trouble with it.”
“I’m fine.” Dash forced out through gritted teeth, charging at the course again.
“Failure number 3. Are you sure you’re a pegasus? None of the other pegasus are having any trouble with this test.”
“I am a pegasus.”
“Failure number 4. Really? You could have fooled me. I would have taken you for a klutzy earth pony.”
“Failure number 5. I hear your dream is to become a Wonderbolt. Do you really think they would ever take a failure like you, who can’t even pass a simple test?
“Failure number 6. Maybe I’d better take you to an earth pony course. You obviously aren’t up for a test made for a real pegasus.”
“Failure number 7. You are honestly having a lot of trouble with this for being the ‘best flier in Equestria.’ Isn’t that what you brag to all your friends about? How you’re a flier that can’t be beat? Well...I think my test is beating you.”
“Failure number 8. Tell me, when you brag, is it honestly because you think you’re the best or are you just trying to shield yourself from the fact that you’re worthless as a pegasus? If it’s the former then you’re horribly delusional and you need some psychiatric help. If it’s the latter... well, that must be a sad, pathetic little world you live in.”
“SHUT UP!!!” Rainbow Dash screamed, rushing at the course again, not even pausing to listen to the voice from the wall. Still, each time she made a mistake, the plates on the wall knocked Dash out and forced her to start again as GLaDOS counted higher and higher.
“Failure #64. Oh, now isn’t this funny? I’m streaming this video to every pony in Equestria. They’re all laughing, oh... and they’re not laughing with you. They’re laughing at you, I’m sure of it. In fact... I may just laugh too. Preparing to laugh in 3... 2... 1... HA... HA... HA... HA... HA... HA... HA... HA. Oh, yes... that was a very... good... laugh.
“They’re all watching you fail Rainbow Dash... and they’re all laughing with me...at you... now, how does that make you feel?”
Rainbow Dash flattened her ears, head hanging as she backed into a corner, trying to escape the constant eyes of the test chamber’s security cameras.
Test Subject #164 - Twilight Sparkle
“Wow... if Pinkie Pie were here, she’d be twitching all over... because that last test was a doosie.”
“I’m glad you liked it... now, Twilight Sparkle, do you hate your parents?”
“No, of course not! What makes you ask me that?”
“Oh... nothing. It’s just from the way you act... you seem to hate them quite a lot.”
“What... what makes you say that?”
“Well, here, let’s look at the data. Over the past six months you’ve seen Princess Celestia 6 times and sent her 54 letters. Over the past year you have seen your parents 0 times and sent them 0 letters. You must really... really hate them.”
“No... I don’t... I’ve just been busy.”
“But not so busy you couldn’t read 132 books that you honestly didn’t even need to look at. Oh, you also had that sleep over with those two friends of yours. Yes... it’s quite obvious you are so painfully busy.
“Speaking of friends, I’d say you are really lucky. Having six friends... it’s a miracle considering your social skills. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re just friends with you because they think you’re so pathetic... that or they got paid off by Celestia.”
“No, they wanted to be my friends...”
“Really? Don’t you find it strange that the first five ponies you meet in Ponyville were so dead set on being your friend? Aren’t you smarter than that? Doesn’t it seem just a little strange... even just a little?”
“Well... I guess...”
“Well, in any case, it doesn’t matter. I’m sure the royal treasury can handle bribing just five ponies to be your friend. Also, on the subject of friends, is it true Celestia has you studying friendship?”
“Wow... you really are sad. I mean, I’m a murderous computerized personality construct and you know what? ...I’ve made a friend. I deleted that friendship and made her leave the Enrichment Center, but I had a friend. You... you lack even the most basic of social skills to make friends on your own. You have to study friendship... what kind of pony has to study friendship?
“Oh, and not to bum you out... but you may want to start studying love too. Because... at this rate... you’re going to die old and alone. It’s true... I’ve plotted the data on the graph... and graphs don’t lie.”
Test Subject #174 - Rarity
“I don’t want to do the tests anymore.” Rarity whined, standing in the middle of her current testing chamber. “My hooves are hurting. These lights are too bright. This place smells like bleach. I got a scuff on my new boots. Can’t I just go home?”
“Wow... that really is a horrible sound coming out of your mouth. You are a... master... of whining. Thankfully, I’ve got synthetic ears... so it doesn’t bother me. I could listen to your whining for hours... I could use it as white noise to fall asleep. Oh, and just so you know... if I did find that voice of yours the least bit annoying... you still wouldn’t be making those noises. I’ve got muzzles back here... old rusty ones that would leave nasty rashes.
“Oh... wait... I have a better idea. We’ve got high powered lasers around here... how a bit of highly invasive surgery? I’ll just make small incision, possibly nick a major artery, and in the end just rip those vocal cords of yours out. And, if you didn’t die from massive bleeding or trauma from the surgery, then you’d be utterly silent for the rest of your life. I’m sure your friends would thank me.”
Rarity fell silent almost instantly, a hoof moving to her throat as she pictured it.
“What... diamond dog got your tongue? Oh yes... did you forget I’ve scanned your brain? I knew what you were trying to do with that whining... it’s the same trick you pulled on those idiotic diamond dogs. It really is sad... an average pony would probably have more than one way to try and make me let them out of the Enrichment Center. They’d try asking, pleading, begging, bribing... but no, you just whine. You are the definition of a one trick pony. I can only imagine how uninspired your clothing designs are.”
“My clothing designs are NOT uninspired! They are chic, unique, and magnific. And a whole lot more interesting than this drab little Enrichment Center of yours. Everything looks exactly the same... it’s utterly boring and monotonous.” Rarity replied, smiling a bit as she got her own insult back at voice from the walls.
“Yes... that voice of yours is such a horrible sound... even when you’re not whining. Yet... not nearly as horrible as what you’ll look like.”
“What... are you calling me ugly?”
“Oh no, not now... but soon.” The voice from the walls answered as some of the panels opened up, a large glowing mural appearing in the room. (TV monitor = Glowing Mural to Ponies.)
“I took a DNA sample from you in the last test, and I’d thought you like to know what you’re going to look like when you get older.”
“You can do that?”
“My image age augmentation software can reproduce the aging effects I want to see with 99% accuracy. All I’m going to say, you’re going to age... well... like milk.”
Rarity’s eyes widened in horror as the picture of her being shown on the glowing mural began to age rapidly. The wrinkles, the sags... she was even balding. Her beautiful mane receding down her back to the point where she had a comb over. The age progression even went on past when Rarity would have died of old age, the skin peeling back and her body deteriorating to nothing but a rotten skeleton.
“By the way, your mane is going to start falling out in five weeks, so I’d enjoy it while you can before you have start using a comb over... oh wait, you’re not going to have enough mane left even for that.”
The scream that came out of Rarity’s lips could be heard outside the test chamber, echoing across the cavernous underbelly of the enrichment Center. It startled a particular dull orange pony who looked around in a small panic, wondering where the blood curdling cry had come from.
Test Subject #231 - Fluttershy
“Test Subject #231, you have been in the same chamber for the past hour. Please continue the testing sequence by depositing your Companion Cube into Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator.”
Fluttershy poked her nose over the edge of the open hole in the room, looking down and seeing the fires glowing in the depths. She then looked back at the Companion Cube, the cute little heart-painted box just sitting there... but somehow calling out to Fluttreshy as if begging to be destroyed.
“I... I just can’t.”
“......... Very well. I’ll just open the exit then.”
Fluttershy smiled. “Really?”
“Yes, and you may bring your friend Companion Cube with you.”
“Oh wonderful!” Fluttershy chirped, getting behind the Companion Cube and pushing towards the open door and the particle emancipation grid. The moment the companion cube touched that grid it began to darken, catching fire and starting to burn to ash. Fluttershy began to hear screams, though the yellow pegasus was to startled to realize the screams were coming from the speakers in the room and not the cube itself.
Trembling, Fluttershy bent down, scooping up the ashes of the cube as her eyes began to water.
“Oh.. I’m sorry, did I forget to mention that the Companion Cube can’t pass through the Aperture Science Particle Emancipation Grid? Oops... my bad.
“Also, just to be clear, the Companion Cube is not like a phoenix. It’s not going to just spring back to life... you really killed it... and it had a wife...and two kids.... and a pet. Oh... they are going to be so sad when they hear about how you murdered the Companion Cube.”
“But I didn’t mean...” Fluttershy blubbered, tears starting to pour down her face.
“There, there... it’s all right. Here... why don’t we get into the elevator and we can talk about something else?”
Fluttershy just nodded, moving down the hall and into the elevator, her hooves trailing the bits of ash from the Companion Cube across the floor.
“There there...don’t worry... I don’t blame you for killing the Companion Cube.” The voice from the walls offered.
“No... now why don’t we talk about something else? My brain scans show you like taking care of animals.”
“Oh... yes... I do... it’s my special talent.”
“Why do you like taking care of animals?”
“Well... I guess it’s because they’re all so cute.”
“What kind of animals do you take care of?”
“Oh lots of animals. Birds, squirrels, frogs, chicken, fish... Rarity’s cat Opalescence, oh... and Pinkie Pie’s alligator Gummy.”
“Thank you... that is a wonderful list of animals to test my neurotoxin on.”
“Don’t you know what neurotoxin is? It’s a gas, like like a mist... but its green and very... very deadly.”
“Oh yes, and its not a nice way to die. It’s even worse than what you put the Companion Cube through. This neurotoxin attacks the nervous system... starts eating it alive. The pain is...excruciating... and it only stops when the subject’s nervous system becomes so deteriorated that their bodily organs start shutting down and they basically drown in thin air.”
“That... that’s horrible...”
“Really? I thought you’d be into this kind of stuff considering how you murdered the Companion Cube. With the fire. Are you sure you’ve never done something similar before, like burn some one’s house down? Just to hear them scream from the burning? Here, I’m sure you’re just being... shy. Why don’t I play some of the audio I recorded when I flooded the Enrichment Center with neurotoxin? I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.”
A shiver crawled up Fluttershy’s spine as blood curdling screams of pain began to emanate from the walls, causing her to drop to the floor. They sounded like they were in so much pain... it was like a nightmare. Fluttershy tried to cover her ears, pressing herself against the ground as she trembled like a leaf.
“Please... make it stop...”
“Oh, I was so sure you were going to enjoy this. After all, I’m a murderer... I enjoy it. You’re a murder... just like me... so you should enjoy it to. Oh, and just think; I’m going to be testing out my neurotoxin on all those little animals you told me about. After all, I must be sure my neurotoxin is still deadly in this new dimension.
They’re all going to die... and it’s all your fault.”
Test Subject #306 - Pinkie Pie
“Boing, Boing, Boing, Boing, Boing... AHAHAHAHA... this is so fun, like a bounce house without air!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed as she bounced up and down on a large section of floor that had been painted with the blue repulsion gel.
“Test Subject #306, do you realize that in comparison to all the other test subjects you are taking the... longest... on each test?”
“Oh, Silly, it’s not a race. You said that we were here to learn and have fun, and so in every room I’m doing my very best to have fun... and this blue stuff is amazing! It’s like a trampoline you can just put anywhere!”
“... well, I guess it is for the best that you do take your time. After all, your friends are having so much fun at the ‘end of the testing’ party without you.”
“Wait, there is an ‘end of the testing’ party? Why didn’t you say so? I would have zipped through these tests lickedy split.”
“Well... honestly, I didn’t tell you because no one wanted you at the party... not even your friends.”
“They... they didn’t want me at the party?”
“Oh no... they said they would, but I scanned their brains. They find you dreadfully annoying... and honestly they only put up with going to your parties and being your friend because they’re afraid you’ll turn into a psychotic murderer.”
“But... I would never...”
“Really? Do I need to remind you of the pile of rocks, the bag of flour, the bucket of turnips, and the ball of dust you dressed up in party hats? Speaking to inanimate objects while your body suffered from unexplainable twitches. Personally, I would have put you in a straight jacket right then and there... but I guess your so called friends get a kick living dangerously.”
“So... they really don’t want me at the party?”
“No... in all honesty, they never want to see you again... and it’s the truth, because I scanned their brains.”
Pinkie Pie, who had still been bouncing on the repulsion gel, came back to the ground and landed like a stone, somehow mitigating the effects of the repulsion gel. Her hair popped like a balloon, deflating and falling straight while her energetic pink colors became darker.
“Oh... now that is interesting. That was a very dramatic physical change you just underwent due to a change in your mental state. That confirms it... not only are you a mass murderer waiting to happen but you’re a mutant freak. Yes, a mass murdering freak who would cut up her victims and bake them into cupcakes. Well... at least you like throwing parties.”
Test Subject #202 - Ditzy Doo
“My, you are doing quite well aren’t you? ...especially for someone with your disabilities. Strabismus in both eyes and logorrhea... did you know the chances of having both of those diseases are 1 in 453,432,198,304? It’s true... you really are just that lucky.”
The gray pegasus didn’t say a thing, eyes turned down in a constant glare as she continued through the tests.
“I see you’re trying to give me the silent treatment again. Another attempt at the silent treatment... I understand. Honestly, it is probably better if you don’t say anything. After all, who can understand the grabble that comes out of your mouth? I can, but that’s because I have brain scanners. Every other pony probably just thinks you’re a poor retard.
“That’s what hurts the most doesn’t it? ...they all think you’re just some poor mentally handicapped moron. If they had my brain scanners they’d know you’ve got at least an average intelligence... maybe even above average. But they don’t have brain scanners... so they think you’re a moron. That’s probably why they gave you your job delivering mail. It’s definitely not a job that requires... complex mental capacities.”
Ditzy continued to focus on the test chamber, but she couldn’t stop her eyes from tearing up. For the past ten chambers it had been nothing but the verbal abuse from the voice in the wall. She was used to it, but... but there was only so much one pony could take before they broke. She knew she had problems... that her eyes were strange and that her mouth didn’t work like it was supposed to... but she didn’t need to be reminded of it.
“You know...” The voice in the wall began to offer. “These diseases of yours, they’re genetic. In all probability your little daughter is going to end up just like you. Isn’t that sad? ...I don’t know why you even bothered having a child. She’s just going to have a sad little life... just like yours.”
“MONKEY WRENCH!!!” Ditzy shouted, gritting her teeth as she glared at the walls as best she could.
“Wow... I was scanning your brain. You wanted to say ‘shut up’... and it came out as ‘monkey wrench’. Last time it came out as ‘wagon wheel’. Wow... that is really sad. I’d feel bad for you... if it wasn’t so funny.”
Questions, Comments, Concerns?
My Little Pony, Friendship is Magic © Hasbro
Portal & Portal 2 © Valve
I do not own the intellectual properties this fan-fiction is based on.