How the Foundation Ruined Nightmare Night

by Drefsab

3 - Jack o' Luna

Bridle Falls was a panicking mess. Everywhere they looked, Willow and Bramble saw groups of pumpkins bouncing after unfortunate townsfolk, or scarfing down piles of candy, or swimming in the apple bobbing tubs. Their victims turned into more pumpkins in flashes of light and the sound of strangely joyful songs. Then there was the slight issue of an enormous, living holiday cookie smashing through buildings and chasing costumed ponies. Salvation seemed to finally be at hoof, though, as Princess Luna descended from the sky in her carriage, looking for all the world like Nightmare Moon.

"Come on, Willow, we can explain things once she's touched down!"

Willow wasn't sure if Luna had a dungeon, but he pictured himself being thrown into it regardless. "I do hope you know what you're doing!" he shouted as he ran alongside his partner. "Frantic ponies who run at royalty tend to end up with rather unattractive stab wounds!" Part of a storefront collapsed in front of them, showering the road with furniture and writing supplies. Willow jumped over a stray rocking chair and kept going. "Where in the bloody hell is this thing?! I wouldn't imagine a four-story-tall beast would be particularly adept at hiding!"

"Hell if I know," Bramble answered between breaths, "but if it wants to stay gone I won't complain!"

"Fair enough!"

Off in the distance, Luna and her guards finally touched down. They seemed incredibly unaware of the danger surrounding them -- maybe they simply thought it a part of the festivities. The princess wasted no time in making a show of her arrival, with her bat-cloak and lightning making a grand display. Too bad everyone was busy running for their lives.

A deep, rumbling sound soon met their ears, followed by an echoing roar. When the gingerbread monster finally pushed its way out of the treeline, a small group of ponies ran past the two researchers. One of them recognized the Foundation badges and stopped.

"What...what is that thing?!" a unicorn mare shouted above the noise, pointing a hoof back toward the monster.

"My lunch," Bramble said plainly. "It's a long story."

"Your lunch?! This isn't the time for jokes!" She levitated a piece of broken armchair and ripped out the stuffing, then jammed the fluff into her ears. "Don't let those pumpkins sing to you! They're hypnotic or something!" With that, she ran off and disappeared behind a corner.

"Why do I have the feeling that particular problem started with the pumpkin we experimented on a few days ago..."

"Oh for...that damn thing wasn't even on the same level as the gingerbread pony! How did it get out? And for that matter, since when was it able to turn others into carbon copies of itself?!"

"I dunno, bud. One thing at a time!" The giant cookie creature was headed directly at Luna, with dozens of the happy pumpkins bouncing around and on top of it. Her guards were nowhere to be seen. They wouldn't just leave her like that, would they? His thoughts quickly shifted as a large group of jack o' lanterns threw themselves at Luna. One of them got lucky and bit down on her. She didn't appear hurt, just surprised, and quickly shoved the offending pumpkin off. Bramble hoped and prayed that she would be different, somehow -- maybe she was powerful enough to resist the effects of the pumpkin's bite! She was a living deity, after all. If anyone could turn things around, it would be --

"Aww, crap." Any hope of a quick end disappeared with a blinding flash. Willow and Bramble shielded their eyes from the light, and by the time they turned back Luna was gone. "So, uh, I think we just indirectly turned Princess Luna into a pumpkin."

Willow's face went pale. "Oh. Marvelous. I've always wondered what the stockades were like."

"Maybe we can help her. Somehow." The pair galloped at full speed to Luna's carriage, calling out to her, but it was worryingly quiet...with the exception of yelling ponies, singing, maniacal jack o' lanterns, and a huge cookie stomping around. "Princess Luna! Princess Luna! We're here to...oh." Bramble peered into the carriage. Peering back was a dark blue pumpkin wearing a small, black crown. Curiously, it still had Luna's flowing, ethereal mane and tail, along with her crescent moon cutie mark, albeit much smaller than usual. "Uhh...Your Highness?" It stared at them for a long moment. Bramble braced himself for it to come leaping at him.

"...Twelve-hundred years," it finally said, Luna's voice clearly sounding from its carved mouth. "That is how long I have been alive. And yet, I can say with absolute certainty that I have never been turned into a glorified squash." It -- she -- had a surprisingly expressive face for a pumpkin. At the moment, it was not a very pleased one. "One supposes there is a first time for everything."

Willow nervously fidgeted with his glasses. "Good evening, Princess. How...how are you feeling?" he asked with a feigned smile.

"I am a carved vegetable," she replied flatly. "What do you think?" She spun in place to look around, having to jump into the air to see over the side of the carriage. "It would seem I have managed to keep my mind intact, at least. Help me out of this carriage, citizens."

"Does this mean we can call you Jack o' Luna?" Bramble snickered.

"Only if you wish to not speak again for the rest of the night."

Bramble and Willow carefully lifted the transformed princess and placed her beside them. She only came up to their knees. "It is an honor to meet you, Princess Luna, despite our...less than ideal situation," Willow said. "Allow me to introduce ourselves. I am Dr. Willow Wisp, Test Lead for Lab Six, at the Foundation for Spellcraft and Alchemy. This is my associate, Dr. Bramble. It would seem there was a slight--"

"The Foundation," Luna interrupted, "was supposed to supply some simple items for tonight's festivities. Curious...I don't recall making a request for voracious pumpkins and building-destroying monstrosities." The gingerbread pony roared somewhere in the distance. "Am I to take it that said monstrosity was to be the night's mascot?"

Bramble chewed on his lip. "Sort of..."

"Wonderful. I would ask what happened to cause such a disaster, but for some reason I am more concerned with not being a pumpkin. Perhaps after things have been sorted out, we can have a discussion." Even with her big, triangular eye-holes, Bramble could feel her gaze boring into him. "A very long discussion."

Visions of iron bars and dungeon walls filled Willow's mind. Maybe, he thought, they would let him have two crusts of bread on good behavior.

Luna continued, "Never-the-less, it is fortunate you have stumbled upon myself and my former guards. I take it you have a way to reverse this unfortunate transformation?"

The pair looked at each other. "Sort of, Your Highness. It's only a theory, but it's the best we've got." When Luna didn't say anything, Willow carried on. "Without going into the details of the chemistry involved, we used a combination of extracts, chemicals and infusions to prepare the would-be mascot -- and other items you'd ordered -- for an Animate potion. A simple jolt of concentrated magical energy later, and you have a normal, everyday item that is suddenly 'alive', in a sense. It's not true life, or sentience, of course, but a close facsimi--"

"He means 'yes'," Bramble interrupted. "In theory, that swirly magical stuff should be able to reverse the effects of animation on the gingerbread pony, but it needs to be evenly distributed, and we just don't have enough of the formula to do so." Luna was less than thrilled to hear it. When she made her concerns known, Bramble was quick to clarify. "But, uh, that's not to say we can't fix it! If we can find a large enough water source, we can dilute the formula while still keeping it potent enough to reverse the effects."

"Ah, excellent," Luna said, sounding just a bit more confident. "How much water will you require?"

"Uhhh...about a thousand gallons?"

The confidence evaporated. "'Let us travel on Nightmare Night', I told my guards. 'It will be a night of...fun' I said. Perhaps next year I shall stay in the palace and join my sister in eating her own body weight in chocolate instead." She let out a sigh. "Assuming I still have control of my magical abilities, my good researchers, I am not sure they will be enough to lift such a large mass of water and contain it until it is needed. A test is in order. Do hold still." There was a chiming sound as Luna focused her magic, and midnight-blue energy swirled and sparkled around her festive form. She strained with effort as Bramble was wrapped in a blue aura. He began to protest at the strange, tingly feeling, but she ignored it and pushed on. "If I can just...lift this weight..."

Bramble began to giggle at the sensation. "Hey! That tickles! Cut it out!"

Willow conked him on the head with a hoof. "Need I remind you you're being levitated by royalty? Do try to behave as such."

'Levitated' would have been putting it generously. Instead of hovering over the ground at a great height, Bramble was just barely floating above it. He could even kick his hooves in the dirt. Then suddenly, just as fast as it appeared, the magical field vanished. Luna grumbled to herself at the failed test of her power, bouncing her transformed self up and down in frustration.

"Not since my return to Equestria have I felt so...useless. The power to move celestial bodies at a whim, to walk amongst the dreams of our subjects, all gone." Her voice raised until she was shouting, a physical wind billowing from her mouth. "And now we have been reduced to a living vegetable with BUT A FRACTION OF OUR PAST GLORIES! WHO, PRAY TELL, WOULD BOW BEFORE US NOW, ROBBED AND USELESS IN THYNE EYES BUT BEFORE THE PASSING OF--" She stopped in mid-sentence, seeming to catch herself. Luna waited a moment before clearing her throat and continuing at a normal volume. "Dr. Bramble, Dr. Willow," she said finally. Bramble had latched on to Willow's rear leg to keep from being blown away, his mane and tail swept back and shocked into a solid line of hair. He hurriedly tried to make himself presentable once he realized things were back to normal-ish.

"We...I...did not mean for such an outburst to occur. It is unbecoming of one such of myself to lose my temper in such a way, and indeed, improper for royalty to appear before her subjects when under such duress. For that, I must apologize."

Willow fixed his mane with a quick burst of magic, getting an annoyed mumble about 'fancy-ass unicorns' from Bramble in the process. "It's quite alright, Your Highness. Given your current situation, I would say you have more than enough justification. Goodness knows I wouldn't be nearly as in control as you are right now. Quite literally, given the state of the others who have been transformed." A small group of said townspumpkins bounced in the distance. "Speaking of which, even if we can solve the issue of the rampaging confectionery, there's still several hundred ponies that would prefer to not be jack o' lanterns anymore."

Bramble shrugged. "One thing at a time."

"Right. I suppose we'll be needing--" he glanced behind him and immediately shoved Bramble to the side. "Bramble, move!" Just as he did, a pumpkin with a thundercloud cutie mark flew past them, a silvery helmet hanging loosely from its top.

"Sir Stormfront?!" Luna shouted in surprise. It made another leap at the untransformed ponies, just barely missing Willow's side. "I demand you cease such actions at once!" Her guard-turned-gourd ignored her completely, of course. It attempted another leap at the pair before seeming to give up in frustration. And then it began to sing.

Immediately, Willow placed his hooves over his ears, as did Bramble. But something about the song compelled the latter to listen. He fought the urge, straining against his own body, struggling to keep the song out of his head. It was so familiar, somehow...

"Bramble!" Willow shouted. "Dr. Bramble, you must not listen!" It was no use -- Bramble had stopped in place, standing ramrod straight, as the singing jack o' lantern rolled toward him. "Oh, bugger it! My apologies, Princess!" With a flaring of magic and a pull of his hooves he ripped into the large cushions of Luna's carriage, yanking out a chunk of fluffy stuffing, and shoved it into Bramble's ears.

Which, unfortunately, left him unable to cover his own ears for the duration. He braced himself for the song to tug at him at any moment, to take control of his mind and body. The singing pumpkin noticed his lapse in defense and seemed to smile even wider as it made a short hop toward him.

And yet, oddly, he didn't feel any different. He didn't even attempt to cover his ears after a few seconds. If it was possible for a carved pumpkin to look frustrated, the one before him certainly fit the bill. Confounded by the song's lack of effect, the creature gave up and simply attempted to spring toward its victim. But Willow was ready this time."Right! That's enough out of you, you insufferable decoration!"

With a quick turn he faced away from the pumpkin, peering over his shoulder to keep it in sight, and cocked his hind legs in preparation. The creature was nearly on him, its mouth wide, when Willow thrust out his legs in a powerful buck that sent the pumpkin flying across the town and into the forest beyond.

"Sweet Celestia!" Bramble shouted in amazement, shaking his head as the song lost its effect on him. "Thanks for that. You sure you're not a farm pony with a horn glued to your face?"

"Drastic times call for drastic measures, my friend. It was the first thing to come to mind."

"An impressive display of physical prowess," Luna complimented, bouncing in place to get a better view of the town. The immediate area was clear, though bright flashes a few streets down made it clear that things were not going so well elsewhere.

"My apologies, Princess. I hope I did not hurt your guard."

"This form I find myself in is surprisingly pliable, I am sure he has endured without injury. Now, about this cure you're going to provide. And you will provide it."

"Of-of course! We can provide the necessary chemical treatment, but, as I've said, the small matter of a thousand gallons of water is going to be harder to come by."

Princess Luna looked thoughtful, at least for a jack o' lantern. "Forgive me, my good researchers, but Bridle Falls is named for its primary attraction, is it not? That will be our ready supply of water for your experiment." One day, she told herself, Equestria would go more than three or four months without some town-destroying creature or embodiment of chaos or ancient evil wreaking havoc. Today, it seemed, was not that day.

"A fine idea, Your Highness, but there is the small matter of carrying that water and dumping it on our giant friend. Given your rather, ah, limited magical powers at the moment, I'm not sure what we could do aside from hollowing out an entire building and dragging it out there."

"A fine idea! Hook yourself to the royal yoke and we shall begin," Luna replied, completely serious.

"I think that was a joke," Bramble added.

"Yes, well...forgive me if I am not in the mood for such things, seeing as how I remain a pumpkin."

The trio stood in awkward silence until Bramble spoke up. "So, uh...what if we don't bring the water to the cookie, but instead, bring the cookie to the water? You know, lure it out?"

"Cracking idea," Willow answered, stomping a hoof on the ground in approval. "Now how do we go about doing so?"

"Uhhh...I'm not sure. I didn't think that far."

"Of course. Well then, if nopony else had a better idea, I believe we should return to the Foundation complex. Perhaps between the three of us we'll find a solution."

***

Princess Luna had experienced many things in her life. There was the Great Dragon Migration of her youth, where the massive creatures had been so numerous as to blot out the sun as they passed overhead. There was the rise and fall of Discord, prior to his return and subsequent quasi-reform under the guidance of the yellow pegasus. There was the vast, dangerous expanse of the Everfree forest that she and Celestia had explored in great detail before her fall to darkness and banishment for a thousand years. There was even the time she had stepped into a field of Poison Joke and found herself controlling the sun in the middle of the night, much to her sister's surprise.

She had never, however, been transmogrified into a sentient vegetable. The experience of being jostled in a saddlebag of a citizen of Bridle Falls, unable to simply fly or teleport to her destination, was humiliating. At first the pony named Bramble had made jokes about the situation, but they'd quickly stopped after she'd reminded him that while Nightmare Night was temporary, her memory was eternal. And she was not in the forgiving mood just then.

The Foundation for Spellcraft and Alchemy was a deceptively large facility, a sprawling twenty-level complex built mostly into the ground. From the outside it was a simple, three-story building of concrete and brick, with a large shutter and two small entrance doors, watched over by a guardpony in a small booth -- which was currently empty -- and a series of cameras overlooking the site. Normally home to over two hundred hundred ponies -- and a few griffons, zebras and deer -- it currently resembled a ghost town deep within its sprawling, labyrinthine hallways. Orange warning lights flickered and flashed in the now dimly-lit hallways, the majority of the site's staff locked up safely in one of the half-dozen containment rooms that were impervious to all but the most determined threat.

"The conditions here are deplorable," Luna said in a matter-of-fact tone.

"I assure you, Your Highness, it is not usually full of rubble and broken office chairs, among other things." Willow Wisp trotted slightly ahead of Bramble and his passenger, who was tucked semi-comfortably into her saddlebag carrier. "Elevators will no-doubt still be down, so we'll have to take the stairs. If I may be so bold, we should start at our laboratory."

They carried on down the hallway and descended the six levels to the Animation wing. Nothing but the ever-present gaze of security cameras greeted them.

"Humor me, Sir Bramble, and tell me how, exactly, it was decided that a...gingerbread pony...would be the mascot for tonight's festivities."

Bramble rubbed his neck nervously. "Heh heh, uh, that's...that's actually a funny story."

"'Funny' is relative," Willow added.

"Hey, she didn't ask you." Bramble turned to look at the princess who hung at his side. "So, yeah, originally we had a more appropriate figure set up. It was this sort of scary tree. It looked pretty neat. So much so that I, um, might have...taken it...home...temporarily..."

"What was that, citizen? You will have to speak up, I am rather hard of hearing without any actual ears."

"I said I kinda took it home! Uh, Your Highness."

"...you took it home. You were aware that it was official property, correct?"

"Well--"

"And that it was to be used for my one night of the year when I get to celebrate with Equestria's citizens?"

"Yeah, but see--"

"And how, pray tell, was it decided that an appropriate replacement would be a Hearth's Warming confectionery? Please, help me see the leap of logic in such a decision."

Willow jumped in before Luna could banish Bramble to the dungeons for more than six or seven centuries. "I'm afraid logic played no real part in it, Princess Luna. We were panicked -- or rather, I was panicked -- and we needed a replacement post-haste. With our options rather limited it became a matter of necessity. Thus, one application of a magical concoction later, we had our new mascot. It was rather small back then, though it did not stay that way, obviously."

"He means it blew up like a freakin' balloon. Uh, pardon my manners, Princess."

"Indeed. As my colleague so elegantly put it, It did not take long for the creature to escape, grow exponentially in size and break its through cell, leading to our current situation . Our current, extremely unfortunate situation." Willow wondered if the dungeon would have a window to let sunlight in. Probably not. It was, after all, a dungeon.

"Curious. And what of the pumpkins?" Luna asked.

"Honestly, we're not sure. The first one was created by us, yes, but it was by no means a threat. In fact, it was rather charming. How it managed to escape its cell, nevermind change ponies into copies of itself, is beyond me." A blue light marked where their lab was, just down a hall and surprisingly intact considering what it had been through. As they trotted over they were accosted by a familiar, pseudo-ghostly voice still trying its hardest to sound intimidating.

"STOP." Luna commanded her escort. He did so immediately. Jumping on his back for a better view, Luna leaned over and stared into the metallic garbage can in fascination. "You there, creature: identify yourself to your Princess."

"I'm a ghooost!" it answered once more.

"You are not a ghost. You are what appears to be a slightly moldy egg salad sandwich."

"I'm a--"

"You are an expired food item. Cease your nonsense immediately or I shall be forced to alert the authorities."

Authorities? Bramble mouthed to his friend. Willow simply shrugged. Somehow, the haunted sandwich was silenced for the first time in three days. The two researchers didn't even ask.

"Curious. Your research appears to have created some rather odd subjects. I should I like to hear more about them in due time. For now, we must examine your laboratory."

Willow pulled the keycard from his lab coat pocket, sliding it through the sensor. It beeped pleasantly and flashed a green light before the automatic lock disengaged from the other side with a metallic 'clack'. Despite the mayhem, the lab was relatively untouched, save for a large crack lining the eastern wall where the rapidly-growing monstrosity had bashed its way out of the adjacent holding cell.

"Here we are, Princess. Home sweet home, so to speak. To your left is the mixing room, where we create the various potions needed to fulfill a purpose, and directly before you -- behind the shatter-proof glass, of course -- is the applicator itself. We call it 'The Beast', mostly because it amuses us."

"Humor can be hard to come by sometimes when you're pulling a sixteen hour shift," Bramble added.

"Quite so. Our dear machine is responsible for mixing the constituent formulas and potions created to your left. It does so far more safely and effectively than any of us could hope to. Usually."

"Usually?" Luna asked.

"Well, besides the whole 'destroyer of worlds' rampaging above."

The princess bounced over to the control panel, eyeing the knobs and switches. "This machine is quite interesting. Pray tell, is it portable?"

"I'm afraid not, Your Highness. The metallic bits you see here are just the tip of the proverbial iceberg. The actual assembly extends four rooms to either side and two stories up. The good news it that it still appears to be functional, so we can continue to create more of that serum that caused such an uproar in the first place. Doctor Bramble, if you would be so kind as to start the process?"

"Sure thing. How much ya reckon we'll need?"

"If my theory is correct, the potion will cause a reversal of the initial effects if it's applied judiciously enough. Given the creature's immense size, and the original application, I'd say we'll need roughly thirty-six ounces of the end product, which can then be dispersed equally in the previously discussed amount of water. Do you think you can do that, my friend?"

Bramble scratched his chin in thought. "I dunno...that's a lot of mixing. Do we even have enough snapvine extract or aether dust for all of that?"

"We should. If you need more you can always pilfer some from an adjacent lab. I'm sure they'd understand. On a related note, I believe the mixture should also cure the transformed citizens of Bridle Falls, provided we can, of course, get them to follow after us."

"If you say so. It's gonna take some time to make all this, though. With you mixin' and me churnin', or vice-versa, we're looking at twenty minutes at least."

Luna was not pleased, turning her gaze on the two researchers. "Twenty minutes. In ten minutes I am to be in Canterlot. In half an hour I am to be in Ponyville. Instead, I find myself a hapless gourd with a monstrous treat rampaging through the streets and my guards turning others into carbon copies of themselves. I trust you can see why time is of the essence."

"Absolutely, Princess," Willow answered quickly. "I promise you we shall have this taken care of in due time, but the process is delicate, and even with my extensive experience in creating said potion -- or many like it -- it will still take some time. At best, it will be fifteen minutes if everything goes to plan. At worst, it will result in all of us being broken down at the subatomic level and reduced to brightly-colored puddles of goo on the floor."

Bramble nodded. "And that would just be inconvenient for everyone."

"Yes, to say the least. Then all we have to worry about is transporting the concoction without spilling a drop, finding a way to lure the creature to the falls, and dispersing our payload in a manner that ensures proper distribution that also doesn't result in some horrific, unseen effect on the local environment." Willow gave a weak, half-despairing laugh, already feeling the metal bars around him. "So, let us begin, shall we?"

***

As it turned out, it only took ten minutes to mix the appropriate amount of potion and refine it into an elixir that could be safely transported in a glass jar. Unfortunately, it took fifteen extra minutes to wait for the mixing machine to slowly churn the various fluids in the proper amounts and methodically drip out the contents.

Princess Luna, it seemed, was not a patient mare at the best of times. Unable to do anything but watch and offer encouraging words and vaguely threatening ultimatums, the princess of the night had begun to think aloud about how she might go about remaining on schedule. Teleportation of herself and (hopefully) her soon-to-be-fixed guard cadre seemed ideal, though teleportation sickness was decidedly unpleasant for those who were not used to the intricacies of bending reality to your will. They would get over it. Probably. Perhaps the children would think it part of the game!

Bramble and Willow had both decided not to argue any ideas the princess had, lest they give her even more reasons to banish them to the moon once she was cured. If she was cured.

Now clear of the Foundation's main entrance, the trio set out on a mission to find the gigantic gingerbread pony and draw it to the falls. When Luna and Willow had failed to come up with a plausible solution, it was Bramble who had come to the rescue.

"Hear me out," he'd argued as they'd taken the long flights of stairs back to the entry level, "I know it sounds crazy and probably more than a little stupid, but what if...what if we coat ourselves in cinnamon? Huh? HUH? Come on, it's genius and you know it. And so simple, too."

"I'd love to know what brought about that idea," Willow had replied, more than a little skeptical.

"Baking! My dear ol' aunt, may Celestia -- uh, and Luna -- bless her, always says you shouldn't mix nutmeg and cinnamon when you're baking. The flavors don't mix except under specific circumstances. That got me to thinkin': our cookie friend smells like nutmeg, and since it's, you know...alive and stuff...maybe it's retained an intense hatred of cinnamon! So all we gotta do is coat ourselves in cinnamon, find the thing before it kills everyone, including us, dodge the evil jack o' lanterns, lure them all back to the falls, and get them to jump in the water without them devouring or crushing or polymorphing us! Admit it, you're impressed. I'm impressed, and I thought of it."

It had been a very long climb up far too many stairs before Willow had answered. "I'm relatively sure none of that makes any rational sense, in any dimension, under any circumstance, when spoken by anypony."

In an unexpected turn, it had been Luna who came to the rescue. "The earth pony has a plan, Sir Willow Wisp. You do not. Presently, neither do I. While I hesitate to truly call it a 'plan' in the traditional use of the word, it is the best we have given the current situation. We shall act upon Sir Bramble's idea with all due haste, lest we find ourselves wasting any further time."

And with that, the arguing ceased. Princess Luna's word was final, and although Willow thought the idea of a giant nutmeg-scented vampire cookie chasing a slightly chubby earth pony covered in cinnamon was hilarious by its own merits, he was forced to concede that he did not, in fact, have a better plan.

Thus, they had set out to Bridle Falls' finest bakery-slash-office supply shop, Cupcakes & Clipboards, to find as much cinnamon as they could get their hooves on. The odd combination store was surprisingly intact, although the open front door and baker's apron lying on the ground suggested the owner was now merrily bouncing around somewhere in the area, less concerned with brownies and pies and more concerned with biting flanks.

"A-ha!" Bramble exclaimed triumphantly, returning from an unlocked storage room with half a dozen bags labeled "CINNAMON". "See? I told ya it would be easy. And I only had to break, like, half a dozen fax machines and power mixers to find 'em. They've probably got insurance anyway."

"Oh, good. I was hoping to add 'destruction of property' to my list of offenses for the day. What now?"

"Now we find the thing and get its attention. Then I dump this stuff on myself and hope for the best."

"You're volunteering to act as bait? Are you sure?"

"What else would I do, make you do it instead? Come on, Willow, it's my idea. The responsibility for it falls on me."

"Well, I would say it would be a matter of 'asking me' rather than 'making me' in such a situation, but yes, I suppose so." Willow placed a foreleg around Bramble's neck. "I am simply concerned for your well-being, my friend. Are you sure you're up to this? We both know I move faster in a gallop than you, and speed may be of the essence."

"Eh, I could do with running off a pound or two anyway. Besides, you're the one with that fancy-ass magic. If we have to get the princess out of the immediate area you could always, I don't know, chuck her like a hoofball or something."

Luna jerked in his saddlebag. "I find it distressing that you speak of me as if I am not right here. There will be no princess-punting tonight! Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, Princess!" they answered as one.

"Good. Carry on, then."

Bramble reached up and unhooked one side of his saddlebag, then passed it -- and Luna -- to Willow. The unicorn fastened the straps so that his cargo would be secure and decently comfortable, then adjusted his glasses so they stayed snug against the bridge of his muzzle. "So, if you're going to be the bait, we need to discuss what will happen between finding the creature and drawing it to the falls."

"Besides running and screaming?" Bramble asked only half-jokingly.

"Yes, besides that."

"I believe I may be of some assistance." Luna jumped out of her carrier and landed on the floor with a thump. "Though my magic is reduced to a somewhat humiliating level, there are other aspects of royal power that may still be of some use. Sir Bramble, Sir Willow, if I may?"