1. Member Since 22nd Aug, 2014
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Overcome by the giddiness that flying lent him, Icarus soared through the sky curiously, but in the process he came too close to the sun, melting the wax, and so Icarus fell into the sea and drowned.

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When Twilight seeks to return to the human world through the magic mirror, something goes horribly wrong. Now trapped in a galaxy far, far away and in a body that she barely understands, she seeks to find her way home. But when she's pulled into an interplanetary war for supremacy her wit, skill, and will to return home will be tested. In the end,  it will come down to one decision for Twilight: Light or Dark?

First Published
5th Nov 2014
Last Modified
19th Nov 2014

oh Wow a brilient start good sir.

:pinkiehappy: will wait for more

I've been waiting for an mlp/ star wars crossover:twilightsmile:

I got excited when I saw Spike in the cover image...

The start was just brilliant, and I can hardly wait for more.

~Crystalline Electrostatic~

You have caught my attention :twilightsmile:

Interesting....I shall be watching this one closely

>>5233158

There's dozens, if not hundreds. This here group has a good hundred of them.

>>5233725

I didn't even see him until you pointed him out. Whoops. Still, I was unable to find a better picture with a few days of looking around, so I think it'll stay.

>>5232493

>>5233772

>>5234278

Why thank you kindly, sirs/madams.

>>5234194

And I somehow missed you with the reply I made. Whoops. Danke.

>>5234370 LOL, your quite welcome :twilightsmile: Keep up the great work

I'm pretty sure the Empire and the Alliance didn't engage in battles of this scale until after the Battle of Endor and Battle of Coruscant, when the New Republic was formed. The Alliance simply didn't have the resources.

When does this take place?

Nice start, love the cover art! :rainbowkiss: Though, if like to know why the imperials glassed the planet, this definitely had to occur after Endor. No way the Imperials would glass a planet just to root out a rebel cell. Other then that.

>>5234483

Think less battle, and more curb stomp. There was no way in hell the Rebels were going to stand a chance at taking out a Star Destroyer. I tried to show this with the way the Empire just let them go. They aren't a threat.

Any Star Wars peripheral stories are considered noncanon as far as this story is concerned. I'm running off of the OT, and some repressed memories of the PT. As far as timeframe, chapter one is set between 3 BBY and 2 BBY.

For those who don't know or want to Google it, the first Death Star is destroyed 0 BBY/ABY, and the second is destroyed 4 ABY, if I recall correctly.

>>5236073

That plays in to the story later. Let's just say someone's getting a bit of a talking to about this. A Vader-style talking to.

>>5236073

Upon further thought, the word "glassing" is not exactly the word I was looking for, and has been changed to "bombarding". Thank you for pointing that out.

My Little Pony crossed with Star Wars.

Interesting. :twilightsmile:

Liked and followed for future updates.

Faved. I'd like to see where this goes.

When i saw the title for this story, the first thing i thought of was "In brightest day, in blackest night...."

Poor Twi, to find hersef in middle of a war and with no way out.

Looking for where this story is going to...  :twilightsmile:

MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh yeah, everybody will be here for support!

Except those assholes who dislike, but who needs them! PSHAW!!!!!!

GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I ENJOYED THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I ENJOYED THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I ENJOYED THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I ENJOYED THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I ENJOYED THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I ENJOYED THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I ENJOYED THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I ENJOYED THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I ENJOYED THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I ENJOYED THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I ENJOYED THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I ENJOYED THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I ENJOYED THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I ENJOYED THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I ENJOYED THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I ENJOYED THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I ENJOYED THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I ENJOYED THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Light or Dark?

...No grey jedi in this setting?

Know that Lucas himself hated the concept of those, but I've always found their philosophy far more interesting then the Jedi or Sith teachings.

Not that I'm the largest Star Wars fan or anything, but it just struck me as odd for a character named Twilight to be forced to pick the light or dark path.

Well, I'm hooked. I wonder how Twilight will learn about the Force. Hopefully she finds some holocrons or encounters a Force ghost. It'd be interesting to see. Either way, I can't wait to see more!  

-W.S.

He turned his attention to Twilight. "Welcome to the Rebel Alliance to Restore the Republic."

Well:rainbowderp:.......Alrighty then:pinkiehappy: The force (of a well written plotline) is strong with this one:trollestia:

Keep up the good work, I will be watching from the shadows:rainbowdetermined2:

Regarding brightest light and darkest shadows...

Well, when an author on fimfictio  puts up the tags sex, gore and dark on a single, teen rated fic I generally assume they are trying too hard to sound edgy. You planing on adding BDSM porn to this? Just asking. Because that's what that combination of tags spells for me.

As a brave canary I have decided to surpress my instincts and struggle onwards.ñ

Story begins with Twilight doing explicitly what Celestia said not to do, presumably for science and a chance to grab a burger in canterlot high. Allright I'm beeing facetious. She does it to help her friends on the other side by doing sñcience to a transdimensional mirror, I naturally approve.

Tripping through said mirror on the other hoof is... bad.

She imedeately gets whisked away by soldiers evacuating presumably because we want her to forget where the portal is.

She gets a premonition that saves her life from a bomb. (Do they use bombs in star wars? I don't remember any?)

While the premise is not bad I kinda feel like Twilight is going along for a ride there. Maybe she has a concussion? No wait, it started before she tripped and fell into the mirror, she was doing science to the mirror but did not understand what she was doing. And yet she still powered it up.

Essentially  during the entire chapter Twilight has not made a single decision.

Preaumably the dinner invitation is after they took off and things settled down and the admiral was checking nicely if the soldier (apparently an xwing pilot?) Should be shot for cowardice?

Because that was implied when the woman holding a clipboard (note how she is using pen and paper not star wars techy bits. Alsonote that despite this beeing a miltary vessel it's 'a woman with a clipboard' and not a female sargeant, or soldier) Wanted to leave them for the imperials because they weren't on the list.

Analysis of chaper 1 summary: meh. Too soon to judge but first impressions are what most people run on.


TLDR

It's.... fine. Not gonna go back to it unless someone recommend this to me later. But so far no glaring badness aside from lack of agency, a bomb (there are other ways to foreshadow force sense and premonitions) and using pen and paper as means to count up who is loading, where on a planetary level evacuation.

>>5250642

As I am on mobile, I cannot easily respond to this comment. However, the one thing that I feel the need to mention is that while the story may be in third person, it's told from Twilight's perspective. She doesn't know what a datapad is, so she uses words she does know ("clipboard of some kind.") but it doesn't quite fit ("couldn't see a pen anywhere"). She also doesn't know the hierarchy of the Rebel military. All she knows is she sees a woman at the bottom of the ramp, so that's what is said. Is it the best way to do it? Probably not. But it's the way I did it.

I do thank you for your explanations of what you did and didn't like, and rest assured that I'll take what you've said into account in further chapters.

interesting, a star wars mlp fanfic

>>5250723 you mean third-person limited perspective

>>5237082

>>5238874

>>5239618

>>5244623

>>5247485

Thanks y'all! I have chapter two hovering around 3k words with only two scenes left to write, so it should (don't quote me on this) be out soon, and I've revised chapter one to fix some inconsistencies and things that just didn't make sense, and it is over 3k words now as well. The revised chapter will be posted at the same time as chapter two.

>>5239768

Now I'm not sure, but I think that you enjoyed this and want more.

>>5261728

A square is a rectangle, but a rectangle is not always a square.

>>5240073

I hate the concept of black-and-white morality, personally. I think that grey Jedi are far more interesting than either Jedi or Sith. Not saying anything about the story, but ya know.

>>5241006

You're going to be disappointed, then excited.

>>5239206

No evil shall escape my sight

>>5266474 dude, shouldn't this be tagged with Human, and in the characters list 'Other'?

Is Spike going to be included in this fic? (judging from the picture)

>>5266542

Human tag is assumed with the crossover tag. Unless that's changed since I last talked with Eldorado about it while making this story. As for character tag, why the hell not? It's up now.

>>5266779

If you look at my first mass reply comment (>>5234366), I didn't even see him until someone mentioned him. With most—read: all—the plot planned out not capable of supporting him, I will have to not put him in. I wouldn't do him justice, anyway.

>>5266928 You really need to update soon, if you already have the 2nd chapter done

>>5285887

It was almost done, but I'm dealing with a move—the realtors are coming tomorrow to tell us how much to sell the house for—the end of the semester, and mi madre getting into a car accident that may have totaled one of our cars. Despite all that fun stuff, I'm finished getting words down on paper, and I'll hopefully finish up a quick revising and get it posted today or tomorrow.

Heh, it's kinda funny. Autocharth had commissioned this picture and a couple of others for a Star Wars story that he has in the works once his main one is done.

But let's see what you've got.

Ehhhhh this chapter was alright. I think you may need to work on Twilight's characterization a little. For starters, she takes up the idea of a blaster pretty easy. She was told that this weapon is shoot to kill right? Ponies aren't very comfortable killing. Also, she seems to have certain lingo that normal ponies wouldn't have, or her for that matter. And one more thing, she seemed to transition from "scared and want to go home" to " alright I'm ok, let's do this" kinda quickly.

And one more thing! On the topic of armor and blasters... :trollestia:

neach other a week

Each

When abbreviating Kilometer the term used is Klick, Kilo usually means Kilogram, a measure of weight.

:facehoof: It took my second read to read Imp as Imperial instead of goblin.... I feel kind of dumb now.

Twilight was either carrying supplies or handed the holonocs

I'm curious but what is a holonoc? Didn't hear of it until today.

>>5289387

Awesome. Good to know I have good taste.

>>5289396

Any places you can point out a mischaracterization would be much appreciated. I'm already working at revising chapter two, and it would be nice to have an outside view mentioning mistakes I made.

Also, thank you for the constructive criticism. Honor on you, honor on your family, and honor on your cow.

>>5289489

I'll get this fixed the second I get access to a computer. Editing on mobile is a bitch.

>>5289946

Thank you for pointing that out. I am a 'Murican, so I don't know that new-fangled measuring system as well as I should. I'll get that fixed when I get to a computer.

>>5290456

At first, that was on purpose, so don't feel bad. I had an attempt at misdirection that seems to have worked better than I expected.

>>5290690

I'm being "sci-fi" with binoculars. I'll include something making that more clear when I do revisions.

>>5291277 No worries, also in regards to making stuff up, do a little bit of research into Star Wars, there's so much back story and detail it's insane; chances are there's an invention for almost every need and situation.

>>5291329

except for the following useful sci-fi inventions:

Teleporters

Sub-dimensional portals

3D Maneuver Gear

Orbital elevator ring system structures

and the most badass thing of them all: Mobile Suits

Seriously, why don't they have the technology for this at all? I mean if they can build a massive droid about 1/3 the size of an AT-ST, than what's essentially stopping them from further and future development and construct multi-articulation for Walkers, and after that; what nut-job would simply stop there and also conceive the plans for making that puppy airborne, or construct it for atmospheric exit and even hyperspace? A single one of these badboys would require the combined strength of ground forces of 3 Imperial Star Destroyers to take one of them down.

>>5291662 My only response tho this is that in Star Wars technology is an excuse. Star ship engines, shields, and hyperspace drives are never explained because they don't have to be. In star wars we're told what we're seeing, what it does, and we accept it and move on. This guy is holding a metal rectangle up to his eyes? Teloscopic viewer! This guy is pointing what looks like a wire satellite dish at a walking metal cammel? He's shooting a laser at a tank!

This needs to update faster!

>>5291710 well actually most of that IS explained, well at least Hyperdrives are explained: that the Hyperdrive Engine was a special engine drive that can access a route through low-wavelength sub dimensions. While +35000 BBY the Hyperdrives originally belonged to the Force-Sensitive Infinite Empire: whose entire technological prowess was made in part by imbuing it with the Dark Side, after the empires fall the Hyperdrives remained unused due to the fact that the Rakata engines required a Force Sensitivity to operate, however the Corellians and Duros managed to reverse engineer their wavelengths

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