Hi, I'm Holly. I love to write short stories. MLP is one of my favourite shows, and I love the art style and character development of the ponies.
Cassie Quattor has convinced herself that she was dreaming when she thought she met a unicorn at a young age. But everything changes when she runs away from the torment and finds herself in Equestria. With the help of a pegasus called Raindrops, a unicorn called Sparkler and an earth pony named Bon Bon, she must find the mane six, her special unicorn and her real self, before it's too late.
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Ummm...Interesting
5176877
Yay
You liked it!
I can't wait to the next chap.
5181940
The next chapter is the best, I promise ^^
AND THANKYOU FOR THE COVERART!
*hug*
5182135 No Problem
Best chapter Ever!!!!
5187338
LYX - NEVER STOP BEING AWESOME
5188749
Awww Thanks *hug*
And You should NEVER stop who you are, you are AMAZING the way you are
5190853
AWESOME!!!
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5195856 Not to sound bitchy, but Bon-Bon isn't a unicorn but an earth pony, just saying so you can change the mistake you made in the resume of your story.
5205899
Oops... I changed characters, and forgot to change the unicorn bit. Thanks for the tip..
Eh, that comment made no sense sorry. But rereading it I'd try to make a stronger connection between her attacking the teacher and being committed to an asylum. "We're going to go see a nice man" is all that he would say to her the character, but to us the readers we could use more description of the meaning behind those words.
So um... Maddie is well liked because she's a decent person, but holds a grudge against Cassie for... not telling her about her magical unicorn friend, and since she treats everyone else nice and only bullies Cassie, everyone thinks that it's Cassie's fault.
...eh, it's a stronger premise for bullying than a lot of stories I've heard.
I demand you to write more.
That's an order, soldier!
xD
5205918 no prob
I've felt like that before. Her mother I mean. Where you care deeply and feel terrible about how things are turning out, but you don't care about what you've broken or mislaid. Like when I'm playing a game and doing badly, and I just want to smash the board and scatter the pieces. If I cared about the game I'd be careful to preserve it to the end. I don't care about about the game, but I do care about how I'm failing at it, so it's all about me.
What I'm saying is she doesn't care about the pain that Cassie is going through, or the loss she'd experience if Cassie disappeared or died, but she does feel very bad for how it makes her a failure as a mother. That's worse than someone hating you really, is if they act like they care about you in order to use you to satisfy what they do care about, which is only themselves. "I don't like you, but I need you, so I can't let you know that."
Eeee a visual and tactile metaphor
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Seems a bit OP.
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I was going to explain the "nice man" bit later in the story ^^
It's currently one of those memory flashback bits.
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Yay
I thought it was a pretty good metaphor, simple but effective.
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Yeah. It's a really weird feeling, and it has happened to me but through Cassie's point of view.
5206137
Okay sergeant! *salutes*
I'm guessing she has some abilities like the avatar does more or less the colors represents different elements Green = Earth, Blue = Water, Red = Fire, and White = Air or at least that's my best guess though as to her last name I don't know though before this chapter I was going to say that this story is similar to another one that the primary character is friends with an pony as an child though the settings are different this is an rather different story though, keep up the good work!
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Uh huh.... halfway there
Have never watched Avatar, but i know it isn't going to go down that path.
And yes, I made a very similar story beginning to another, but I really wanted that story beginning because it really suited it, and I have a couple of surprises in the end that show they weren't just friends, ever. It was the key beginning, and I have spotted several like it around the site.
But I am so glad you're enjoying the story so far!
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Just saying that normally the colors represent elements, and Avatar was the only thing that I knew of that uses elements, though it was more along the lines of plantbending of some sort, though I'm going with Magic, because that works way better than the other formats.
Other than the fact you blew the cover on the story plot to soon, you're getting better, but there needs emotion and length in the chapters to make this a great story. The story needs to gradually build up or it's going to be over like a super fast rollercoaster that just crashed and burned.
And this took an unexpected turn that I do say that I like a lot! Keep going I think this is great!
Though with Gaia dead someone is going to burn in hell once I get my hands on them unleash every single superweapon magical and sci-fi on them and cue Two Steps from Hell music cause there's going to be some epic battles!
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Thanks for the tip....
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*fight fight fight*
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I'm thinking that Lord of the Rings style would be an epic battle!
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Oh my god... yes...
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Yes it would be!
5239268
Lol
uh oh. thats not good D:
5320522
Nope ^-^
I am enjoying this story thus far. I can't wait to see what happens next!
"I was trapped on earth." More please?