I'm a Sonic fan (obviously) who is also a fan of this show. ...not much else to say.
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*Spoilers for EG - Rainbow Rocks*
It's Taco Tuesday! Sonata had been waiting to get one since last week. But when there's only one taco left and another girl wanting to get it as well, they decided to battle for the last taco. Who will win?
Sonata vector by: starcrystal272
Trixie vector by: negasun
The rest of the cover is made by me.
Constructive criticism welcomed!
Edited: This story is updated as of 3/25/18
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Everyone loves taco Tuesday. There is no escaping the tacos on Tuesday, which just so happens to be today.
Very nice ai liked this story. Taco Tuesday id a very dangerous day.
This story was very entertaining! Very nice!
I had taco salad today because this story made me hungry for tacos....
I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. I LOVE THIS STORY! A like, a fave and a watch!
You occasionlly switch between present and past tense throughout the story, but it was a fairly fun read.
Nice story!
I think you meant "oblivious"
Extra L and I. 
I enjoyed!
A few spelling errors here and there, but overall a fun, silly story to pass the time.
Yes, bumbling villain sidekicks must ALWAYS receive their tacos!
Oy, this is a mess. Where to start...
First off, let's talk verb tenses. Your verb tenses are all over the place. Pick a tense and stick with it. You can't simply switch verb tenses back and forth in the middle of a sentence at will. It doesn't work that way.
Another major problem you have is that you're doing a whole lot of tell and not nearly enough show. Instead of telling the reader that Sonata convinced the others to stick around until Taco Tuesday, you could have shown her doing that, and gotten a lot of comedic dialogue out of it in the bargain.
Now, here's a selection of sentences and phrases in which there are glaring grammatical errors.
There are so many things wrong with the above sentence I don't even know where to begin:
- A student in a line is not a subject that an object can be "at". It's incompatible.
- "A student" is not a "where". I know you THINK you're saying the line is where she's at, but you're not.
- The description of Sonata is broken and stilted.
- How the bloody hell can Sonata be at herself?
If you're using anxious as an adverb here, it should be "anxiously".
- "would still have". Or "still has". Either is correct; the above is not.
- "had wanted".
Gain, not gained. Watch your verb tenses. They're important.
"to stay", not "of staying".
Why are you using "of" there? Why do you keep using "of" in places it has no business being?
Your readers already understood WHY they agreed. You don't need the redundant parenthetical aside that assumes the reader isn't clear on this point.
What was the point in adding "literally" there? Unless your reader has never heard of the CONCEPT of a taco, they know it's food...it makes no sense.
Two things:
- This is an example of you switching verb tenses mid-sentence, and you should not do this.
- "empty headed"? While that's fitting for Sonata, I'm pretty sure that's NOT what you meant to write there...
Hungry. Anxious and hungry.
This is as far as I got before the incessant verb tense errors and painful grammar forced me to stop reading. You need to get a proofreader or editor, preferably one whose first language is English (I'm assuming yours isn't. If it is, MY GOD.)
5170442 Thanks!
Could you please tell me which part so that I can improve my writing?
5171123 Sorry that you did not enjoy my story because of my grammar but I still appreciate your constructive criticism. I wrote this story myself without a proofreader or editor and I tried to look over it myself for any mistakes before I posted this on the site. Guess I still have some practice to do.
The renders used for the cover image look like they'd fit perfectly in Smash Bros.
Welp, that's just two more Mii Fighters to add to the list.
Sonata and tacos. Huh. Guess that's a thing now.
Everyone else in the cafeteria:
Everyone else in the cafeteria:
5174091 it was a thing the second that line happened in the movie.
5175054 Huh. Must be in the unedited version. Or it just went over my head.
Trixie has to pay for Sonata's next taco. I suppose Aria and Agadio are not going to be happy having to stay at CHS for another week.
5190699 Especially when they'll learn that Sonata has a six week detection, making them stay at school even longer.
5191891 I suppose Aria (my favorite) and Adagio could always just drop out and go shovel roadkill for the county until Sonata's detention is over.
taco.
There's a number of grammar issues, but one thing that stuck out at me especially is the present tense narration. It's very distracting (there's a reason it's rarely done), but even worse, it's inconsistent, as you lapse back and forth between present and past tense narration. Pick one and stick with it; and I'd suggest that it's past tense you stick with.
That sequence in which the two of them alternate messying up the other...
I know I've seen it before, in an old cartoon.
I just can't. Remember. Which.
I want to say either Doug or Hey Arnold, though I'm leaning more towards the latter.
This is going to drive me nuts until either I remember, or someone answers it for me.
Words cannot expression how hard I laughed.
TEAMKILLERS!
The
Tentacle
Arm
Kragle
Outside
Sprayer.
Or, T.A.K.O.S. (The S is silent)
On Taco (T.A.K.O.S.) Tuesday, it's going to Kraglize the entire universe so that EVERYONE! WILL STOP MESSING! WITH MY STUFF!!
Okay, the grammar in this story needs some SERIOUS attention (not to mention spelling errors here and there).
All in all, however, it was thoroughly entertaining. 9 out of 10!
Awesome...
Yeah, it's a rough story.
Also, I'm not sure Sonata would go THAT far for a taco. Just me...
This was a pretty good story.
Like if reading on Taco Tuesday
The end was so funny!
Who can charm guys more: Rarity or Sonata?
6470925 Rarity by a landslide! She can easily charm any guy just by batting her eyes.
6472200 Sonata can charm them by being Sonata.
6472215 With or without her singing powers?
6472367 Didn't you listen to me? I said Sonata can charm them by being Sonata.
6472395 Sorry, let me rephrase it. By being "Sonata", you mean she can charm the guys by being herself? Right?
6472473 Eeyup!
6472491 Well, I agree. She so likeable, she can charm anyone without even trying!
Classic food fight story. Hilarious! Also, I can picture Derpy eating a muffin thrown at her and ignoring everything else.
Though I did notice a few mistakes in this story. If you don't mind here is what I found.
I'm pretty sure the right way to say that would be thanks to you, because it was their fault.
The right way of saying that would be sing.
Put would work better there.
"Have made" should go there, it matches the past tense they were using.
change threw to throw.
walking
I would change that first part to "There wouldn't have been" and the second part to "rightfully belonged".
But overall great story, you just need an editor or something.
6537914 Thank you for liking my story and pointing out my mistakes!
I'm still learning as I'm writing the next story but I'll try to look for an editor If I need additional help.
EDIT: Mistakes fixed!
6538482
I'm glad I could help. I didn't want to seem rude when pointing out any of your mistakes so I'm glad you appreciate it. Your stories are good, they just need to be edited better.
Lol I love this story!
that was best part
Cx You are amazing. This story is amazing. *claps* all the prizes, all the prizes. Twelve muffins out of ten
~SoDF
Yout mean oblivious here. But anyway this is just so funny xD
7111760 Fixed and thanks!
6538482
...ah, there's still some spelling errors. Not obvious ones, the words are "spelled correctly", they're just the entirely wrong words due to the misspelling, and since the words they wound up being were actually dictionary correct, they aren't triggering your spellcheck.
Best example:
Obviously, this is supposed to be "detention," literally one letter off from "detection," which is correctly spelled if you wanted a word that meant "The act or process of detecting; discovery"
Also, you shift tenses quite a few times.
This is easily one of the most hilarious stories I’ve ever read on this site. You’ve done an amazing job in the comedy department.
Also, I would really like to see a sequel to this, because I’m very curious about how the other Dazzlings would react to Sonata’s six week long detention.