You seem to have javascript disabled, or your browser is failing to execute it properly. Much of Fimfiction's functionality requires javascript so we suggest you turn it on!

The Writeoff Association681 stories ·937 members

Over Horizons

Source

Trixie wasn't always the mare she is now. What, or rather WHO, made the showmare who she is? As usual, it began with a stallion. But ponies aren't always who they seem.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 4 )

Viewing 1 - 50 of 4
- Newest First
- Oldest First

horizon

horizon #1 · Oct 21st, 2014 · · ·

It's interesting contrasting the longer and shorter versions. They read pretty similarly, so you did a pretty impressive job of cutting out over 50% of the story while leaving the framework in, but the longer one doesn't feel quite so compressed. The assistant angle is pretty cute (although her advice to always work with an assistant seems a bit strange given that he did explicitly mention his twin brother earlier). Overall, it was a refreshing take on the prompt and it's good to see it posted.

Von Snootingham

Von Snootingham #2 · Oct 21st, 2014 · · ·

5166354
Yeah, I did think about the "work with a partner" thing in relation to Flam, but I didn't think it was too big a deal. And after all, his partner isn't right here watching his back, so I think the point still stands.

But yeah, thanks for reading and commenting. I'm just happy I could write something you found half decent. (P.S. the reason I named him Broad Horizons, plural was so he wouldn't explicitly share your name. )

Emil

Emil #3 · Apr 17th, 2015 · · ·

I would have liked it even more if Broad Horizons got hauled off by the Royal Guard at the end.

Von Snootingham

Von Snootingham #4 · Apr 18th, 2015 · · ·

5874543 Nahhh, he hasn't done anything explicitly, obviously illegal here, or at least nothing on the books, so they have nothing bust him on. And if there WAS soemthing, Trixie wouldn't rat him out to the feds. There IS such a thing as honor among thieves. This was more of a personal matter anyway, rather than one for the cops.

The REAL interesting thing here is: WOW! You actually read this story! And not only that, you commented on it! This is amazing! Thanks! I expected a couple of views right when I posted this after the Write-Off I wrote it for, but not anyone this much later. You rock! Woo hoo!