“Actually, you know what?” You turn on Luna, surprising the pony princess, who was not expecting you to snap out in such a manner. “I don’t think I like you anymore!”
“W-what?” Luna gasps.
You shake your head slowly. “Back in season one, Luna, you were meek, scared and cried a lot. I liked that! But now I see before me a loud, brave princess and I think ‘I’ve got no chance there’! Shame on you Luna, shame on you!”
“Season one… what?” Luna gapes at you, outraged. “You don’t know me!”
“Oh, but I do Luna, I do!” You stroke your chin as you give a wry smile. “I’ve read all your fan fiction, and I think it’s an insult to bronies over the world that you don’t act exactly like you do in all the fanfics. Even the ones which contradict each other. You may be princess of the moon, but you’ll never be princess of my heart!”
“But I am the princess of the night!” she gasps, circling you as her eyes quiver, about to burst into tears. “I thought you would like that I was sassy and confident!”
“No Luna, no,” you mutter with a low sigh. “You sound like Brian Blessed. And sexy though he is, he is not top on my list of ponies. I’m sorry Luna. Maybe if you work on being an emotional cripple you will regain your fandom. But until then, Fluttershy is my waifu!”
Luna gives a small growl. “Fluttershy!” she hisses. “Always Fluttershy!”
What will you do?