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Blueshift 299894

Joined December 2011
1,519 followers

    Blueshift's Stories (29)

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    “Why Rarity, you bring me here of course!” You move towards Rarity, scooping up her soft, marshmallowy body in your arms. Her hooves hook around your neck and you kiss in a passionate embrace. “It’s always been about you Rarity, you’re the best pony!”

    “Oh Nick Cage!” Rarity sighs contentedly, looking at you with her brilliant eyes. “I’ve always dreamed of this moment! Let’s get married!”

    You ponder this for a brief moment. If you married Rarity you would have to live a lie for the rest of your life, pretending you were Nicholas Cage. But on the other hand, you would be marrying Rarity. “Yes!” you cry happily, twirling her around. “Let’s get married!”

    ***

    The days with Rarity seem to flash by. You move into a small house next door as you prepare for the wedding. Your days are spent wandering around town while Rarity works and chasing Spike away, and your nights are spent chatting with the beautiful white pony. Rarity designs and sews her own dress, but she won’t let you see it, not until the big day.

    Before you know it, it’s the morning of the wedding. You stand in your little house putting the finishing touches to your tuxedo. You tilt your hat back, looking extra dashing as you stare at yourself in the mirror and glance anxiously at your watch. The carriage should be here at any moment to take you to your bride.

    There’s an urgent knocking at the door. You race to open it, ready to leap into your carriage and get to the church. You pause in shock. At the door isn’t your driver, but a human dressed in leather.

    It’s Nicholas Cage.

    Before you have time to react, he raises a fist and punches you. The force of the impact sends you hurtling backwards, crashing into a coat stand. Woozily you look up as Nicholas Cage stands over you, slowly unravelling a length of chain that he has wrapped over a shoulder.

    “Pretend to be me, will you?” He places a booted foot on your chest, pinning you down as he straightens out the chains. “Rarity’s mine, remember that buster!” His eyes flash red, and he uses his Ghost Rider powers to set the chains ablaze.

    “No Nick Cage, no!” You beg as the leather-clad Hollywood superhero starts to whip your quivering body with firey chains. He does not relent though, and soon you lie prostrate on the ground as he stares over you, throwing the chains on top of your prone form.

    “And now, I have a wedding to attend!” He picks up your top hat and brushes it off, placing it on his own head. With a flourish, huge angel wings sprout from his back and he takes to the air, off to marry Rarity.

    “No…” you croak weakly as you watch him fly away. “It was always you Nick. I… love you…”

    BAD END

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    Comments ( 49 )

    #1 · 55w, 1d ago · 1 · ·
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    ...right. How did I get here again?

    #2 · 55w, 23h ago · · ·
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    >>510119

    Internet. :derpytongue2:

    #3 · 55w, 22h ago · · ·
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    WAT.

    #4 · 55w, 22h ago · · ·
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    I am deeply disturbed by this.

    #5 · 55w, 21h ago · · ·
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    THIS IS THE BEST ENDING!

    #6 · 55w, 19h ago · 1 · ·
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    Nicholas Cage x Rarity is now the best ship.

    #7 · 55w, 19h ago · 1 · ·
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    If nic got here, and is going to marry rarity, does that make him a brony?

    *thinking*

    *eyes widen*

    #8 · 55w, 18h ago · · ·
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    Nicolas Cage really is the best plot device ever

    #9 · 55w, 13h ago · · ·
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    ... Bisexual sunuvabitch

    #10 · 55w, 8h ago · · ·
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    I am severely disheartened by the fact that there is no "Seduce Nicolas Cage" option.

    Oh well, now to go and look for Luna.

    #11 · 55w, 5h ago · · ·
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    >>512863

    IKR, the description promises marrying luna and I will not rest until it happens!

    #12 · 55w, 5h ago · 1 · ·
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    Nicholas Cage, wait! You're best pony...

    BR
    #13 · 55w, 4h ago · · ·
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    No. This was a good ending.

    #14 · 55w, 3h ago · · ·
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    >>512863 I'd seduce Nicholas Cage. Anyone would.

    #15 · 55w, 3h ago · · ·
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    Curse you and your pure sexiness Nicholas Cage! CURSE YOU!!!

    #16 · 55w, 4m ago · · ·
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    I can not say that I did enjoy meeting Nicolas Cage before dyign, even if he was the killer...

    Another happy ending :pinkiesmile:

    #17 · 54w, 6d ago · · ·
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    I don't know if that was really a bad ending, I mean, Nicholas Cage killed you. Yeah, sure, you die, but it was Nick Cage. And you did confess your love for him as your dying statement.

    #18 · 54w, 6d ago · · ·
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    IT WASN'T MEANT TO GO DOWN LIKE THIS

    #19 · 54w, 6d ago · · ·
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    What if Nic Cage were to actually read this? Would he then end up killing himself in this scene?

    ...

    I'm okay with this.

    #20 · 54w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Fuu nick why does it always need to end like this you son of a mother.:twilightangry2:

    Ohhh and Nick if you read this i dont like your films i don't like them at all. :trollestia:

    #22 · 54w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>514449 it's unavoidable man. just embrace it.

    #23 · 54w, 6d ago · · ·
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    To die trying to seduce Rarity is to die with honor! :raritystarry:

    #24 · 54w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Waaaaaaaattt....... So, I figured out how to win Rarity's heart, only to have my ambitions quashed right before the crowning moment of victory?  Oh what a cruel fate, but I should have known that no good would ever come from impersonating Nick Cage.

    #25 · 54w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Genious! Pure genious! Blueshift you are a god in my eyes! I cannot stop laughing at this entire story!

    #26 · 54w, 6d ago · · ·
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    I just got my ass kicked by Nick Cage.

    ...No comment.

    #27 · 54w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>513788

    It's a secret ending, try selectins all the 30's I think it' 32.:unsuresweetie:

    #28 · 54w, 6d ago · · ·
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    BEST ENDING. BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST. POSSIBLE. THING. :raritystarry:

    #29 · 54w, 5d ago · · ·
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    WOOOOOOOOO YEAH! DEATH NUMBER 14! DEATH NUMBER 14!

    #30 · 54w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Rarity?-what?-NOOOOO!!! Curse you Nicholas Cage!!!

    #31 · 54w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Time to pack up human civilisation: its purpose has been fulfilled.

    Also:

    > The days with Rarity seems to flash by

    #32 · 54w, 5d ago · · ·
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    This is now canon.:derpytongue2:

    #33 · 54w, 5d ago · · ·
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    I have tried just about every selection, not just here, but the entire story.

    #34 · 54w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Damnit, let me have something for once!

    #35 · 54w, 5d ago · · ·
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    The chain: HOW'D IT GET BURNED?

    #36 · 54w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>524742

    Nick Cage used his Ghost Rider powers to set it ablaze!

    #37 · 54w, 5d ago · · ·
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    didn't see that coming. :derpyderp1:

    BEST ENDING :heart:

    #38 · 54w, 5d ago · · ·
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    I got:

    1>4>32>5>9>34>56>50>38>41>48

    Cool story. :twilightsmile:

    #40 · 54w, 2d ago · · ·
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    is their ever a way to win!!!!!????!!!

    #41 · 54w, 2d ago · · ·
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    At least you (I?) Got to make out with rarity before dying :ajsmug:

    #42 · 54w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Dafuq?

    :pinkiecrazy:

    #43 · 52w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Got owned by ghost rider after making out with rarity. BEST. STORY. EVER! :trollestia:

    #44 · 51w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>511409

    Nicholas Cage = Brony

    I = Brony

    Brony = Brony

    I = Nicholas Cage

    I am Nicholas Cage

    #45 · 41w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>523819 I know. WHERE'S THE TIME ORB?!

    #46 · 26w, 4d ago · · ·
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    me:going good going good going good going go-FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

    metal sonic: damit.

    metal scourge:god motherfucker damit.  

    #47 · 25w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>631766

    mind=blown

    #48 · 17w, 5d ago · · ·
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    I knew pretending to be Nicholas Cage would end badly...

    #49 · 12w, 1d ago · · ·
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    i like to choose the bad ending to see what author's like blueshift  put and see what shannigans happanes

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