Three
“I will challenge you Tirek!” you cry. “But to a battle of my own choice!”
Tirek is silent for a moment, but then nods. “Agreed!” he booms. “This amuses me. What form will this battle take?”
You realise that being a demon king, Tirek is probably more powerful than you, and would easily beat you in a physical battle. However, you are an expert brony from Earth, and as such have hundreds of highly-honed skills that he would never have even dreamed of.
You wrack your brains quickly. A fan fiction writing contest? You dismiss the notion – Tirek might also have an expert knowledge of pony shipping pairs. Perhaps you could see who is the best at internet trolling? You shake your head – Tirek was so evil he probably had an army of LOLcat images ready for deployment at a moment’s notice.
You snap your fingers as the answer comes to mind. “I challenge you,” you cry “to a Dance Dance Revolution battle!”
Tirek snarls. “As you wish pitiful mortal!” he roars. “But we will not use the Groove Radar!”
Tirek shows you into his house, making sure you wipe your feet as you enter. Luckily, Tirek has a rather large selection of Playstation games, and while you set up the DDR mats, Tirek the demon king makes some orange squash in the kitchen.
“Don’t put too much water in mine,” you shout as you power up the Playstation. “I like mine strong!” As Tirek enters, you swig your glass of orange concentrate in one gulp, keeping a steely face as the painfully powerful liquid swills into your stomach. Tirek is obviously impressed at how hard-core you are – with a smirk you notice that his own glass of orange squash is especially weak.
“Ladies first,” you sneer as you beckon him towards the dance pad.
Tirek throws a look of utter malice in your direction as he quickly sips down his squash and takes to the mat. “Puny mortal!” he booms, his gigantic centaur feet firmly on each corner of his specially oversized dance mat. “You can never defeat me!”
His expression changes the moment you start the song. “No!” he cries, as a fast paced musical beat fills the air. “Not ‘Drop The Bomb’!” The fast paced dulcet notes of your tune of choice fill the air, and the screen becomes a maze of arrows, scrolling faster and faster past Tirek’s eyes. The demon king summons all of his unholy powers in an attempt to dance to the beats, but he is just too slow, and collapses in a tangle of limbs.
“My turn, I think!” you cry, leaping onto the dance mat and instantly using your masterful skills in the ancient art of DDR to perfectly match every arrow, your feet a wild blur.
Tirek looks upon your majesty with unbridled awe, unable to look away. “Those combos!” he gasps as you start to wave your arms about in the air with wild abandon. “It’s impossible!”
As the song finished, you twirl around, your feet hitting the last arrows in perfect timing, as a triple A rating floats up on the screen behind you. You bow to the shocked Tirek, and step forwards in triumph. “Do you yield, Tirek?”
“No, no!” Tirek steps back, waving his hands in shock. “I am the demon king, I am undefeatable! W-what about something else? ABBA Singstar? League of Legends? I’ll even let you be Shaco!”
“No dice Tirek!” You kick over his coffee table to show your dominance, sending a stack of rustic drink coasters flying. “I win! You lose! Now hand me the Time Orb!”
Tirek sighs glumly, sinking to his demonic haunches. “Fine!” he mutters. “I yield to your superior powers. But I don’t have any ‘Time Orb’!”
Not believing the evil creature, you rampage around his castle, searching in every nook and cranny. Amongst other things, you find a stack of manga, a multipack of Doritos and a box of Transformers. No sign of any Time Orb though.
“Fine, I believe you Tirek!” You announce as you return to his sitting room. “So I’m taking these Doritos instead!” You rip open the packet with your mighty brony muscles and start to victoriously shovel delicious cheesy tortilla chunks into your mouth.
Tirek looks sad. “That was going to be my dinner,” he moans softly.
What will you do?
Explore Equestria some more
Seduce Tirek
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this made me lol so hard
Yay doritos! It's funny because I love doritos, I have cole cans all over my desk, and I drink way too much mountain dew.
>Seduce Tirek
WHY IS THIS AN OPTION?!
I laughed so god damn hard at this. Funniest thing I've read in a while.
Pff. Everyone knows Shaco sucks at 1v1. Needs more wriggles Kennen.
What would Twilight do in this situation?
I felt sorry for him but couldn't help but laugh at the fact that I ate his only food
sees Seduce Tirek
YES, YES. I was seriously going to be so disappointed if there wasn't a Seduce Tirek option.
This is probably the best chapter in this so far.
"Seduce Tirek" ... Why did i see this coming?
Defeated by DDR. I'd have lost that. I suck at DDR. I like it, but I'm not very good.
... What to do, what to do?
Do the smart thing... or be me and do the stupid thing...
Stupid thing it is then!
“Fine, I believe you Tirek!” You announce as you return to his sitting room. “So I’m taking these Doritos instead!” You rip open the packet with your mighty brony muscles and start to victoriously shovel delicious cheesy tortilla chunks into your mouth.
^that made me LOL so hard my older sister ran in and asked why I was laughing like a manic^
Seduce Tirek eh?
Well buck it, I'mma do it.
510829
Seduce Tirek.
suduce tirek? this can only end well
haha, this was awesome...I want him for squadmate too
>Seduce Tirek
ABOUT DAMN TIME.
If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times. Seduction is ALWAYS the best option.
XD 'I'll even let you be Shaco!'
.. XD roflmao! XD No way! I'd rather be Garen! SPIN TO WIN, BABY! DEMACIAAAAAAAA!!!!
Why is there a seduce option in almost all the posts?
And I really wanted to seduce Pinkie! WHY ISN'T THAT AN OPTION?!
I would have gone with, "Oh high score...what does that mean?....did I break it??" (thank you grandma's boy for that one) :)
Awww poor guy, he got his Doritos stolen.
This is pretty much what I do when I hang out. FUN STUFF
I'm just reading calmly, using the down arrow to slowly scroll down and not spoil the end. I'm just fine until.... "Seduce Tirek".
WTF!!! 
...I'm eating cheesy Doritos right now.
Creepy.
Shaco isn't THAT op....
So not true for me, I suck at most games but this is freaking hilarious
Oh God, why does this remind me of "In the grim darkness of the 41st millenium there is only DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION!" XD
Haha! Victory is mine and I shall eat all the doritoes! 8D
A DDR battle awesome. Who knew I had such skills. Those were the best tasting Doritos in history.
>Tirek has a rather large selection of Playstation games
As only the most evil of creatures would!
Nah, the Playstation is alright, but I just can't resist any opportunity to take a jab at Sony...
AWWWWWWWWwwww....
He stole his dinner :<
521465
And that is how games are won...
Well, ****. NOW WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO! GO SEDUCE SOMEPONY?!?
hmm what should i do
-the normal right thing
or
-the really wierd and stupid thing?
ok, i understand the seduce options for the ponies but y tirek??????
>sucks at DDR
>reads manga
>eats Doritos
>likes weak orange juice
>box of transformers
holy crap i'm Tirek
I've done almost every option. Where's the freaking' time orb?!
This... is... HILLARIOUS!!!
This little tidbit here made my life complete.
893864 You can try to seduce a pillow. Why not Tirek?
Okay.
images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/33100000/the-madness-gravity-the-joker-33126766-900-900.jpg
Hah! Looks like playing DDR during my free time has paid off!
Stealin' a mans dorito dinner? Thats just wrong.
Dear God, this is utterly ludicrous!
I MAIN SHACO! FUCK YES
Belligerent Sock pretty much have a library of reactionary images and it is disgustingly massive.
YES
Mountain Dew and Doritos, the first dinner of champions.
Like, have you ever went out with your friends after Magic night and waited for the bus. You realize that you've spent so much time shuffling cards and kicking ass that you forgot to buy a burger from the mall food court and that's closed. But, the gas station is still open and you have a ten in your pocket. There is some shopping to be done.
You return with a 2L of Mountain Dew and a bag of Doritos. There was enough money to even buy a Nestlé Peanut Butter Drumstick cuz they were on sale for a buck. As you dig into your meal of sweet, thick carbonated mountain sugar drink and bag of mildly spicy corn chips, your friends eyebrows raise with envy. You munch humbly, silently delighted that their greed prevents them from asking from some.
First dinner is good. Winning at Magic is good.
They then tell you your bus left while you went to the convenience store. They are assholes.
Lol
Ah, theres the Seduce option.