My Time in Equestria

by The Stainmore Phoenix

A Chaotic Start

At six am, I was up and getting dressed an hour before the station opened up. I had to clean everything up and help prepare the station, as a sign of gratitude. I mean, it was the least I could do, considering most of the hotels were packed or couldn’t serve me because I didn’t have the money.

‘I really shouldn’t but they were really nice to me,’ I thought.

As I packed up my “Bedding” and my laptop, there came a clanking and hissing noise from the platform and to my surprise, there stood a train. The engine was a Black 5 and it had a dining coach, Pullman coach and a full brake. The coaches were painted in the traditional GWR “Chocolate and Cream” livery that I had come to enjoy seeing.

‘What in the name of sanity?’ I huffed.

The stationmaster came to me, a grin on his face.

“A charter train has arrived to take you to Ponyville,” he said.

I was about to ask him if I needed a ticket when he told me to forget the ticket, that the princess of Ponyville arranged for the train.

“I’ll have to thank her,” I said.

He grinned and after helping me put my bags on the train, he stood and watched the train out of the station. Once the harbor disappeared from sight, I relaxed and cracked open a novel and relaxed. The gentle swaying of the coaches and the clickety-clack of the wheels over the rail joints was soothing and helped me calm down.

“I hope things do turn out well for me,” I said.

As the train headed onwards, I heard it whistle twice and maintain speed. I thought nothing of it, but as we headed through the station, I glanced out the window and nearly dropped my book in surprise. Standing on the platform were two ponies-Alicorns to be more precise.

One was white with a ton of bright greens, blues, pinks and yellows and gold décor, with a sun tattoo on her flank. The other was a dark bluish black color with a pitch black flank with a crescent moon. Her mane and tail had what looked like miniature stars caught in a night sky. I had to do a double take to make sure I wasn’t seeing things.

“There’s no way…” I gulped.

Picking up my book, I pinched myself to see if I was dreaming. There was no way in the world I saw Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. Just as I got myself settled back, the train slowed and stopped. I was about to look out a window when the guard came hurrying into my carriage, a very apologetic look on his face. I could tell he was embarrassed by the unscheduled stop.

“We’re being held, due to a late running goods train,” the guard said.

“That’s fine,” I said. “Mind telling me where we stopped?”

“Equestria Canterlot Station,” he said, proudly. “Main terminal station with architectural designs from Paddington, King’s Cross, Euston, St. Pancreas, Dover and Waterloo stations in the UK.”

“Thank you,” I said.

“Oh, don’t thank me, and before I forget, your to gain a couple of traveling companions,” he said.

I wanted to groan, but thought better and buried said groan under a ton of fake happiness. I then told the guard to show them in and waited. It was no longer than five minutes before I heard talking and hoof steps. In another five minutes, there came the guests. The first one to seat herself across from me on one of the comfortable first class cushioned benches was Princess Luna, with Celestia sitting nearest to the aisle.

I stood up and bowed, showing my respect for the two rulers of Equestria. Once I sat down, Luna spoke.

“What brings you here to our fair lands?” she asked.

“I’m on holiday,” I said.

“Holiday?” Luna asked, glancing over at Celestia, who was just as puzzled.

I smiled wryly and explained that “holiday” just meant “vacation”.

“Oh, so you wanted to have a vacation and our country was on your list?” Celestia asked.

“Yes,” I said with a broad grin.

“That’s brilliant.” Luna smiled.

Celestia began to eye me suspiciously. I then decided to look for something in my bag, which I had packed out of foresight. Said item were the letters I was receiving from Dangersignal, which I kept for reference to all the events he wanted me to write about.

I produced them and let her read them. It seemed to satisfy her, which relieved me and my sanity. After she handed them back and I put them away, we continued to talk until we reached Ponyville station.

It was there that something strange happened. The train clanked over a set of points and drew to a halt. Luna and Celestia were puzzled.

“Why were we diverted into the goods platform?” Luna asked. “I thought we were expected.”

“Same here,” Celestia said.

Just then, there was a great deal of commotion from the platform. Celestia glanced towards the front of the coach, which was connected to the dining coach, which was where the noises came from. Before they could react, I found myself facing a spear and a very cold Pegasus.

“Get moving!” he ordered.

“Can you give me a few minutes to gather my bags?” I asked.

“Get moving now!” he bellowed.

“Flash Sentry! Stand down!” came a roar from the dining coach.

I looked as “Flash Sentry” started to push the spear closer to me with the idea of turning me into a skewered onion. I closed my eyes and waited. When nothing happened, I opened my eyes to see a dark red Pegasus with a mane and tail the color of fire (oranges and reds) holding him down.

I then looked in front of me to see a cyan colored Pegasus with a rainbow colored mane and tail looking at me, relieved and worried.

“You alright?” she asked. “I heard you missed the last train yesterday, and was scheduled in on a charter train today.”

“Uhm…yes, I’m alright, just shaken,” I said. “I’m sorry Princess Luna and Princess Celestia for the bother you encountered.”

The Pegasus turned and was on the ground and bowing within ten seconds. Celestia chuckled and told her to not worry.

“Why don’t you and that little Pegasus guide him to Princess Twilight Sparkle’s castle?” Celestia suggested.

“Right,” came the reply, then the cyan Pegasus turned to me. “I’m Rainbow Dash. Proud mother of three, fastest flyer in Ponyville, Savior of our land three times and friends with Princess Twilight Sparkle.”

“That’s quite the resume,” I said.

“Glad you like it,” she said and then gestured to the dark red Pegasus. “That’s my daughter, Breezeblaze.”

The dark red Pegasus turned and smiled at me, with her mother’s cockiness in her eyes, ready to say the same thing in terms of being the fastest flyer. She came up and began to help me pack up my belongings. I was pleased with the help.

Once my bags were all collected, she lead the way while Rainbow Dash stayed behind to help Celestia and Luna sort out all the confusion. I was rather curious as to why there were other humans here, but I realized that the railway couldn’t be run by ponies alone and the humans were here to run and maintain the locomotives.

However, I was starting to feel slightly out of place. One, I wasn’t in any traditional railway uniform and aiding in helping with the railway work. To make matters worse, me and Breezeblaze were being followed by a mint green unicorn. I had caught her out of the corner of my eye as we passed a diner. Not wanting to point it out, I said nothing to give Breezeblaze a hint of what was going on.

“Oh, Lyra, can you leave us please,” the dark red Pegasus told the other one bluntly.

“But I never saw…” came the protest.

“He’s on vacation and right now, he has ruffled feelings,” came the reply. “Flash Sentry just barged into his coach while he was having a pleasant chat with the Princess of the Sun and Day, and the Princess of the Moon and Night. I‘d like to get him to his destination without him being even more harassed.”

“Lyra” sighed, defeated and trotted away, muttering at how she’d get her chances to hassle me. I thanked Breezeblaze and readjusted my backpack and guitar case. I always play guitar when on holiday, the music helps me calm down and I had intended to play it on the train, but interventions of the royal and annoying kind put a damper on that plan.

As I was preparing to just give up and hope to slip out in the night to find a quiet place to play, Breezeblaze stopped and turned to me.

“Princess Twilight Sparkle’s castle,” she said, gesturing to a large crystal looking building.

It looked like a castle alright. A castle straight out of some science fiction novel that I had read in college. At least the exterior reminded me of that. The interior reminded me of mid 15th century castles in Wales and England (Of which, I’ve only seen photographs and drawings, not the actual things as I don’t have a TARDIS and I am not the Doctor).

“Impressive,” I said. “Then again, I’d probably bore you with all the history I see in this room.”

Breezeblaze turned and just stared, wide eyed.

“You see history here?” she asked.

“Yes,” I said. “I live far beyond Equestria and I have studied castles when I was in college. Mainly mid 15th century castles in Wales and England, of which this meeting room reminds me of. Most castles in that time period had two to five floors, with a basement that was as wide as the castle itself. The basement often had cells for prisoners, storage rooms and servant quarters, where the mid 15th century equivalent of butlers, gardeners, cooks, and so on lived. The very top floor was reserved for the king and queen who owned and lived in the castle.”

Breezeblaze was impressed. I decided to impress her some more.

“Some of the more famous castles, such as Nunney Castle, Caerphilly Castle and others in the West of England and into Wales were immortalized with the famous GWR Castle class. But not all the Castle Class engines were named after castles, some were actually named after famous figure heads, including Isambard Kingdom Brunel.”

“Wow!” Breezeblaze exclaimed.

“Yeah,” I said. “I spent more time in books and research than I do going outside in sunny weather.”

“You’ve read books?” Breezeblaze asked me. “How many books do you have and how many times have you read them?”

“I have well over two hundred thousand books and I’ve read them at least 22,568 times,” I said. “Yet I still haven’t gained all the knowledge they have to impart.”

I looked at the young filly Pegasus, who was staggering backwards in surprise. I chuckled and after she calmed down, the two of us headed to the second floor, where she took the lead and had me follow her to a door that was on the left and no more than eight steps from a stairwell leading upwards.

She knocked on the door, then hearing nothing, she gently opened the door and signaled me inside. I followed and after getting my bags set in a neat row next to the bed, Breezeblaze looked at me.

“Wait here,” she told me. “I’ll let somepony know you’re here.”

I nodded and stood for some minutes after she shut the door and left. When my legs began to tire out, I sat down on the floor and massaged my stressed legs, hoping that it would relax them. It did, but it took several thousand passes of the hands over the stressed nerves.

“I really should thank my friends for teaching me massage techniques,” I said.

When the pain was gone, I stood up and glanced around. The room was made out of crystal, like the exterior of the castle. I was rather concerned now, thinking that the crystal floor wouldn’t support my weight. Just as I came to the realization that the weight wouldn’t be of concern, a pony appeared. I knew this one by sight and by trademark design.

The pony wore a cowboy hat, had a bright yellow mane pulled back into a ponytail and a bright yellow tail. She had a dull yellow fur coat and a tattoo on her left flank, which had three apples in a triangular formation.

I nodded and gestured her in, leaving the door open, as was my custom when having a guest inside. She eyed me up and down.

“Ah take it yer the new guy on holi-whatever-it-was-you-said,” she said.

“It’s “Holiday”,” I corrected, calmly. “Ms. Applejack.”

“How’d you…” she began

“Simple deductions my earth mare friend,” I said. “One, your accent; two, your hat; three your stance; four, your apple cutie mark; five, lack of wings and horn,” I said, listing off the facts on my left hand.

“Ya got yerself a mighty fine brain,” she said, in wonderment.

“I read a lot of detective fiction,” I said. “I suppose you heard from Breezeblaze that I have more books than your Princess Twilight Sparkle and have read them a great many times?”

Applejack nodded. However, she thought it was a tall tale. Anyone who has read books as many times as I have should have all the knowledge that they would impart. She glanced at my bags, which were neatly lined up and then beckoned me to follow. I did so and was soon lead into the same conference room, where I saw Rainbow Dash sitting in a chair with her cutie mark etched into the chair back. Applejack took her rightful chair and I glanced at the others in the room.

One had a dark pink mane and tail that looked like cotton candy. The pony had a brighter pink coat with three balloons on her flank. She was smiling broadly and had a real glint of cheer in her eyes.

I glanced to the pink one’s left and saw Rainbow Dash. To the left of Rainbow Dash was Applejack. To Applejack’s left was a pony I hadn’t seen before.

She was a marshmallow white color, with a diamond cutie mark. She had a violet mane and tail. She had a look of disgust on her face as she eyed me.

“Mind telling me why this ruffian is here?” she demanded.

I let my face show that my feelings were beyond repair. Applejack hushed her sharply.

“Don’t mind Rarity,” Rainbow Dash said. “She’s all about looking famous and very prim and proper.”

“Don’t tell me,” I grumbled. “She thinks anyone who gets dirty or has the look of spending a hard night in a cold station waiting room is an untrained ruffian?”

“How’d you…” Applejack began

“Her tone and the way she looks at me,” I snapped. “You don’t honestly think I was born yesterday?”

Rarity lost it was going on about how I should have manners and behave myself. It was Rainbow Dash who finally shut Rarity up.

“Well, if you hadn’t hurt his feelings, then maybe he’d show some respect!” the cyan Pegasus snapped.

I was grateful to her. I could barely remember a time where a complete stranger told her friend to be nice to me. I gave a very weak smile and continued to look around.

To Rarity’s left was a purple Alicorn. Star cutie mark on her flank, dark violet, hot pink and dull purple mane and tail. She was eyeing me up with the same unfavorable glance that Rarity favored me with. I simply tried to ignore it and looked at the final pony.

She was bright yellow, with a light pink mane and tail. On her flank was a butterfly cutie mark. She was very nervous and hid behind her mane, breaking eye contact. I felt hurt by this and after getting names, I excused myself to my room. If this was hospitality, then it wasn’t worth it to be here. The hotel was the best option I had and I wanted to be away from them.

“Friends, why do I need them?” I muttered darkly.