What, either this is a troll fic, or the author is from a forgin Country, Was this taken srlsy?

I'm not good in grammar, this first time I'm trying to write serious story down. But, lucky recently I got some Nazi grammars to help me out.

seems very similar to what i'm doing. but i just read the description so im gonna actually read it now.

ok i couldn't even get through the first five paragraphs. its interesting that you started out the story with the main character immediately meeting the main six i have never seen that done before. anyways i would suggest revoking submission, going over it with some proof readers then resubmit it so you don't get a tidal wave of comments telling you that ur bad or some nonsense like that. I also had trouble doing the first couple chapters when i started my story: The young universe jumper. If this offended u in any way i am sorry but i was just trying to give advice (i'm not very good at that lol) I hope ur story does well!

-RD

>>14302271430227

No this doesn't offended me, in fact I'm grateful to get these feedback. Most my life I never got any feedback, so getting these criticism give me confidence to continue to write.

I'll give it a D+

I love the Pendragon series, and I see that this story is similar, so I'll hang on for the ride. You just really need to re-read what you wrote and get your editors to pay closer attention. I applaud you for your attempt though.

>>14316631431663

Thanks for the feedback And thanks to my editor and Nazi grammar friend, chapter 4 should be lot better than other 3.  

Sooooo... It's a tragedy, dark, and a comedy?

*Sings* One of these things is not like the other. One of these things does not belong! *Singing over*

>>14981421498142

It is going get dark later in the story and same for tragedy as well.

This is tough to read in a lot of ways. The single biggest issue in readability is, I think, the constant tense switching. Unless a character is speaking in the present tense, you want all verbs in your story to be either present or past (and I strongly recommend past; present tense just would not work for a story like this).

I had a lot of issues with the plot itself as well, but they boil down to taste and would require a very long comment. Instead I'll just say that you have a few good ideas, marred by some unfortunate cliches and poor execution. Your editors and grammar nazis would do well to be a lot harsher toward you, and I don't say that maliciously. I simply mean that tearing this thing down to the foundations then building it back up is what I believe will help you most as a writer. Good luck!

>>15040211504021

Thanks for the comment, There a high chances that, once I finish The Traveler I going to rewrite chapters 1-2. Hoping that, by then my grammar and my writing will improve greatly.  

I have a feeling that traveler had the princess make that law

On another note my alternate self is called the Traveler

>>16720791672079

There is reason for laws :3

>>16734031673403 i mean he did that so there would not be a pare of boxes (paradox)