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AbsoluteAnonymous 213073

Joined October 2011
1,711 followers

    AbsoluteAnonymous's Stories (21)

    • The Light Goes Out
      Twilight Sparkle and Princess Celestia's final conversation together.

      3,014 words · 13,530 views · 1,436 likes · 20 dislikes
    • Pinkie Watches Paint Dry
      Pinkie Pie has an existential crisis about paint.
      2,500 words · 32,082 views · 2,833 likes · 50 dislikes
    • Transdimensional Zoology
      A story about an alternate universe where the pets of the mane six are actual ponies.
      3,811 words · 10,010 views · 1,091 likes · 22 dislikes
    • Shipping Goggles
      Rarity ships her friends. Hilarity ensues.
      2,778 words · 20,892 views · 1,299 likes · 28 dislikes
    • A Million Things to Do
      6,046 words · 7,125 views · 587 likes · 10 dislikes
    • Diamond in the Rough
      2,961 words · 7,486 views · 500 likes · 8 dislikes
    • The Cold Light of the Stars
      4,919 words · 3,190 views · 452 likes · 9 dislikes
    • Ambition
      4,714 words · 3,194 views · 304 likes · 5 dislikes
    • The Games We Play
      137,602 words · 18,473 views · 1,610 likes · 48 dislikes
    • Magical Pony Ultrasounds
      5,456 words · 14,655 views · 1,080 likes · 33 dislikes
    x

    The room had been orange, and now it was not.

    Pinkie Pie couldn’t wrap her head around it – how very, very easy it was to change the identity of a thing, simply by changing its color, whether it was willing to be changed or not. What had once been the orange room was soon to be the pink room. It was simply a matter of waiting for the paint to dry, and once it did, there would be no going back. Together, they had reached the point of no return, and once they crossed that threshold, nothing would ever be the same.

    There was nothing the walls could do about it, either. They had no say in the matter, and she had been the one to do it to them. She had been the one to steal the room’s very identity.

    After all, once upon a time, her loft at Sugarcube Corner had been painted orange. It had been the Orange Room. Now, it was not. Soon, it was going to be pink, and then it would be the Pink Room, and all her memories of the Orange Room would fade into obscurity with time. What had once been defined by its uniqueness was being assimilated, falling into place along with everything else. After all, everything she owned was pink; and soon, her bedroom would be no different.

    What did that say about the fleetingness of the individual, when something as simple as a can of paint could change the very nature of a thing? When the mere color could change what a thing was at its very core? For a room that was no longer orange could no longer be called the Orange Room. The room would become something else entirely.

    Even if she painted over it once the pink had dried, in order to try and recapture the orange she was quickly finding herself missing, it would never again be simply the Orange Room. Instead, it would forever be known as The Room That Had Once Been Orange and Then Was Pink And Now Was Orange Again. And Pinkie Pie didn’t know if she’d be able to remember a name that long. Even the acronym, TRTHOBOATWPANWOA, was too long for her liking, and she doubted whether even her sharp mind would be able to keep track of that many letters.

    She stood in the middle of the room, her coat and mane covered in flecks of the stuff. Lying off to the side, abandoned and forgotten, there lay two now-empty cans of paint and a pair of brushes still coated in fresh paint. Her furniture had been covered in protective tarps before they had begun their task, but there had been nothing in place to protect those poor walls – perhaps, Pinkie mused, because painting the walls had been the entire point of the exercise in the first place, rendering such tarps unnecessary and unhelpful.

    Pinkie took a step forward, hoof outstretched, and placed it gently against the closest wall. The paint was still damp, having not yet dried enough for it to be permanent.

    That meant … that the Orange Room was in limbo. No longer orange, true, but not entirely pink, either. That could still be changed. And that meant that the choice was hers. Did she let fate run its course? Was it more merciful to end this transformation now, removing the paint while it was still wet and hopefully easier to do so? Or would it be kinder to see the process through uninterrupted and allow her precious bedroom to become what it would inevitably become – pink, like everything else she possessed?

    Was it too late? Had the damage already been done? Was such a change irrevocable, seeping into the very nature of the walls themselves? Perhaps the walls no longer viewed themselves as Orange Walls. Perhaps they had grudgingly accepted their destiny as Pink Walls, and would resent her for altering them any further if she chose to do so.

    Pinkie Pie wanted to make amends, but she didn’t know how. She didn’t know how to make it up to the poor walls; after all, she had already changed them too much, had already stripped them of their identities. If she went any further, what would become of them?

    If paint had such power – then what could it do to her?

    Wide-eyed, Pinkie examined her hoof. Bright pink, like the rest of her – but now it was streaked with pink paint as well.

    If paint could change the very essence of a thing, what would it have done to her if the paint had been green or blue or burnt sienna instead of pink? It had been a fortunate coincidence that she happened to be her own favorite color, one that she would forever be grateful for – but if that hadn’t been the case, she couldn’t even begin to imagine what it would’ve meant.

    If the paint she'd chosen had been any other color, then accidentally becoming covered in it would have changed her, just as the four walls surrounding her had been changed. She wouldn’t have been a Pinkie Pie Covered in Pink Paint Polka Dotties, the way she was now – she would’ve been a Blue Polka Dotted Almost Pinkie But Not Quite. She wouldn’t have been a proper Pinkie at all, if she’d been stained in blue. And if she wasn’t necessarily a Pinkie – if that wasn’t a static thing, and if it was so easy to change or disguise– then who was she?

    If she wasn’t a full-blooded Pinkie Pie, then she didn’t know who she was at all. She certainly couldn’t be a Bluie or a Greenie or a Burnt Sienna-ie; she had been a Pinkie all her life, after all, and she was exceptionally good at it. Being a Pinkie Pie was all she’d ever known, all she could trust herself with. All she wanted. She couldn’t bear the thought of some kind of forced change claiming her identity – but wasn’t that what she herself had done to the Orange Room?

    She had taken it upon herself to change it, potentially against its will – for the better, she had believed at the time; she was now quickly coming to regret it – but perhaps all she’d done was steal its identity and force a new one upon it, one that it had no option about. The Orange Room was no longer the Orange Room. Pinkie Pie might no longer be Pinkie; all it took to change a thing in such a way was a simple can of paint.

    Almost hesitantly, Pinkie Pie once again touched the drying pink paint – only to find that it was no longer wet to the touch.

    It was too late, then.

    The deed had been done, and the Orange Room was gone forever. In its place there was nothing but pink.

    -----

    “See? I told you she was being weird!”

    “How long has she been standing there?”

    Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle stood in the entrance of Pinkie Pie’s bedroom, watching her in wide-eyed fascination. Well, Twilight was, at least. Rainbow was scowling.

    “I dunno. Almost an hour, I guess? She wanted to paint her room, so I said I’d help, and we started painting, then suddenly she started just staring at the wall looking scared and saying stuff like what have I done, what have I done? I’m so sorry! and acting all crazy, and then she started doing this!”

    “Are … are you sure she isn’t just being Pinkie Pie?” Twilight ventured. From her perspective, all she could see was the pink pony standing perfectly still in the middle of her room, a glazed look in her eyes, as though she were deeply lost in thought. That would’ve been alarming enough under ordinary circumstances, but with Pinkie, it was especially so. Pinkie Pie wasn’t exactly the kind of pony prone to bouts of deep philosophical thought, and the unicorn had to acknowledge that seeing her in the midst of such contemplation was a tad worrisome.

    “Pinkie Pie doesn’t act crazy like this! Pinkie Pie acts crazy by jumping around and talking about random stuff! Since when does she get all moody?"

    There was a brief silence while the two of them watched their friend continue to stand perfectly still. She might not even have been breathing; they had no way to tell. There was nothing in her stance to give it away, and from their position, they couldn't see whether her chest was rising or falling or not. She was like a statue.

    “Just you wait, her hair’s gonna go flat and she’ll start talking to rocks any second now,” Rainbow Dash muttered rather darkly after a moment of this.

    “Why was she apologizing?”

    “I have no idea! Once she started crying after eating a cupcake because she missed it - maybe she feels bad about painting the walls?”

    “That’s silly!”

    “So whadda we do?” Dash asked, again peering through the doorway at the stoically tragic figure of the mournful Pinkie Pie, alone except for the alligator absently gumming on her tail with vacant eyes. The alligator, though normally borderline catatonic and gifted with dubious levels of sentience, was currently more active and lively than his normally energetic mistress.

    “I’m … I’m not sure,” Twilight confessed, scratching her head and frowning. She liked to believe that she was rather intelligent, but even she had to confess that Pinkie was an enigma. Nopony ever knew why she did the things she did, let alone how to make her stop. If Pinkie Pie had decided to stop being a whirlwind of pure energy and instead fall into some strange state of melancholy, who was she to judge? “It looks like she’s having some kind of overly-introspective internal monologue, but I can’t really tell.”

    “What?! What kind of egghead are you? Aren’t you suppose to be good at fixing this kind of thing?!”

    Twilight shrugged helplessly, and Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes before stomping away. She could’ve easily flown down the stairs, but she seemed determined to make as much noise as possible in order to emphasize just how fed-up she was, and so stormed down the steps, shaking the entire house.

    For a minute or two, Twilight remained in the door, watching her friend somewhat curiously. She was yet to solve the puzzle of Pinkie’s existence, and this was just another mystery regarding her strange friend; but like all intellectuals, she knew how to pick her battles. Pinkie Pie was a case she may never solve, and there would be no point in straining herself to try. So instead, she would observe and see what she could learn about Pinkie Pie's currently curious state for future reference.

    She wasn’t entirely clear on why Rainbow Dash had come to her for help, but the egghead comment made her suspect that the pegasus had thought she’d know a spell to snap Pinkie out of this unprecedented lucidity or something – but the stupor the pink pony was in was almost hypnotic. Seeing the normally spastic baker so subdued for once had a strangely relaxing effect, and Twilight almost didn’t want it to end, truth be told. It was … peaceful.

    -----

    She was a murderer.

    At least, if Orange Room had been an actual pony instead of a studio apartment, his blood would’ve been on her hooves as a result of what she’d done to him. Only in this case, it wasn’t blood; it was paint.

    Actually, maybe that didn’t work. If she had stripped the old orange paint, rather than just paint over it, then that old paint might’ve been the blood of the room, and then the metaphor would’ve worked. Since the paint on her hooves was new paint, it was more like she’d given Orange Room new blood, rather than shedding his old blood; so instead of having murdered him, it was like Pinkie had given him too much life, and it had overwhelmed him with its unbearable liveliness.

    Yes, that was it.

    -----

    Rainbow Dash barrelled past Twilight Sparkle and into the freshly-painted room, knocking aside Gummy the alligator so that she could shove a cupcake into Pinkie’s face.

    “Cupcake!” she said fiercely. “Look at the cupcake! Eat the cupcake.”

    For a moment, Pinkie looked startled just to see Rainbow Dash there in front of her, a dazed look crossing her face; then her eyes fell on the cupcake, and grew wide.

    With a squeal of joy, she yanked it from the pegasus and shoved it into her mouth, “Mmm!”ing in pleasure and licking her lips.

    “Wow, thanks, Dashie!” she cried. “That was yummy! I haven’t had a cupcake in, like, forever! I totally needed one!”

    Rainbow Dash grinned, looking triumphant. “Mr. and Mrs. Cake said that you get like this sometimes when you don’t have enough sugar, and then you start slowing down and watching grass grow and stuff, and all it takes to snap you out of it is a cupcake,” she explained with satisfaction. “So you’re good now? Back to normal?”

    “Yeah-huh! Thanks again for the cupcake!” Pinkie cried through a mouthful of pastry, beaming. “Red velvet is my favoritest flavor right now! Oh my gosh this is so good, you should eat one too! We should have a cupcake party!"

    “Yup, back to normal,” Rainbow Dash declared, clapping Pinkie on the shoulder with a wing and steering her towards the door. “C’mon. I think the paint fumes are getting to me, too. Let’s go make Tank and Gummy wrestle or something.”

    “Yay!”

    And so the two friends left, chatting comfortably as they waltzed past Twilight, as though they’d forgotten that the unicorn was even there.

    With a sigh, Twilight turned to follow them out.

    -----

    Maybe, Pinkie thought, munching on the unexpected cupcake. Maybe that’s what life was all about, in the end. Accepting loss and change and finding a way to work around it and move on. Maybe life was about not letting the tragedies bog you down and cause you to forget the little things that made life truly shine. Maybe life was about those small pleasures, those tiny instances of joy, and not so much about the bad things. Maybe that was the secret to true happiness.

    And so Pinkie exited the Formerly Orange Room with no lingering regrets, not looking back to what she left behind even once, instead choosing to look only forwards. To the bright future ahead. To friends. To delicious, tasty cupcakes. With sprinkles.

    -----

    Seeing the expression of beatific enlightenment on Pinkie Pie’s face, Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and sighed.

    “You are so weird,” she muttered.

    Comments ( 635 )

    #1 · 56w, 23h ago · 1 · 4 ·
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    just for the idea it gets my thumb (but not my attention)

    #3 · 56w, 23h ago · · 1 ·
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    This gets an upvote from me, if only for the premise alone. :rainbowderp:

    #4 · 56w, 23h ago · · ·
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    oh u :heart:

    #5 · 56w, 23h ago · 2 · ·
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    To be honest the first part of the story went straight over my head. :pinkiehappy: Pinkie is functioning on plane of thought I have yet to discover myself.:pinkiecrazy: However, at the end I could really relate to what she was thinking. Damn, that was a lot of philosophy for a story about drying paint.:twilightoops: I give you props for making me rethink existence. :pinkiegasp:

    #6 · 56w, 23h ago · · ·
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    I had to wipe away a tear at the end.

    #7 · 56w, 23h ago · · ·
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    Mundane but fantastic.

    #8 · 56w, 23h ago · · ·
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    Second line in, and you've already got it.

    Also: red velvet cupcakes are the most delicous cupcakes.

    #9 · 56w, 23h ago · 1 · ·
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    This is genius. I know I said that already, but it really is.

    Pinkie's thought process is just absolutely Pinkie - it's perfectly captured, and I can imagine her having all kinds of smaller crisis moments just like this - especially because she seems to base her own worth on how people perceive her. Naturally she thinks the inanimate room is exactly the same way. And I love the idea of Dash being freaked out and doing everything in her power to fix it as quickly as possible - in fact, I love everything about Dash in this story.

    I meant it when I said it - but you've proven me more right than I could ever have guessed. This is awesome.

    Thanks, AA. :pinkiesmile:

    #10 · 56w, 23h ago · 1 · ·
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    this was deep...

    it also hurt my brain.

    #11 · 56w, 23h ago · 1 · ·
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    I figured it was a joke.

    Then I read it.

    Holy fffffff.

    #12 · 56w, 23h ago · · ·
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    how.....

    How....

    Peculiar. Yesss....

    That's the word. Peculiar.

    What a peculiar story.

    Still trying to recover from my brain exploding earlier, so this kinda deflated it again.

    ......

    DARNIT! Now I gotta get it back working again!

    Also, good story.

    #13 · 56w, 23h ago · · ·
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    If Only - Queens Of The Stone Age

    So Pinkie is one of those stoners who just likes to go "Duuuude, like have just looked at your hands, dude." Good to know.

    Kinda reminds me of Bill And Ted.

    #14 · 56w, 23h ago · · ·
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    Pinkie watching paint dry... why didn't I think of that?

    Nice job!

    #15 · 56w, 23h ago · · ·
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    Oh god. You need :pinkiegasp: when making a fic about drying paint~

    #16 · 56w, 23h ago · 1 · ·
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    "Cupcake!.  Look at the Cupcake!  Eat the Cupcake!  BE the Cupcake!" :rainbowderp:

    Oh man, Dash to the rescue again. Fun little fic I gotta say.  Reminds me of an old monolog we used to do in Theater 101.  

    #17 · 56w, 23h ago · · ·
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    BEST. STORY. EVER!!!:rainbowlaugh::pinkiecrazy::yay::trollestia::rainbowderp:

    #18 · 56w, 23h ago · · ·
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    Ooooh  :pinkiehappy:  this could be a serial!  Next up!  :pinkiegasp:  Pinkie Watches the Grass Grow!  :pinkiecrazy:

    Seriously though, great job.  :pinkiesmile:

    #19 · 56w, 23h ago · 2 · ·
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    :ajbemused:  Really now Pinkie?

    :pinkiesad2:

    :rainbowhuh:  Still confused.

    :twilightblush:  Give her a cupcake, STAT!

    :pinkiegasp:

    :pinkiehappy: THANKSDASHIENOWI'MNOTAMURDERER!

    :rainbowderp: ....wut?

    #20 · 56w, 23h ago · · ·
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    Ahahaha this was great.

    I really think Pinkie is a lot deeper and more intelligent than the other characters often give her credit for; she simply chooses to live a more carefree life, because, hey, that's a lot more fun, right? :pinkiehappy:

    #21 · 56w, 23h ago · · ·
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    Aww man, you had to tell me the moral! It was going so well, too!

    Still, this was pretty damn hilarious. I enjoyed it a lot.

    #22 · 56w, 23h ago · · ·
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    came for the premise stayed for the awesome

    *claps*

    #23 · 56w, 23h ago · · ·
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    Since you appear to be taking on challenges, here's a good one for you,

    Pinkie Pie Vs The Fourth Wall.

    Match of the century.  

    #24 · 56w, 22h ago · · ·
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    What a deep joke story, dude. Oh, by the way...

    Pinkamena was Pinkamena. That was all there was to her life, aside from harvesting rocks. Then, the Rainboom occurred. She was changed... She was painted a brighter shade of pink by this spectacular color spectrum phenomenon. There was too much life for her... but there wasn't, at the same time. For Pinkie Pie was Pinkie Pie and not Pinkamena Pie, and for Pinkie Pie, there was no such thing as too much happiness...

    OH CELESTIAL BEING BASED UPON THE READER'S RELIGION MAN THAT'S DEEP

    #25 · 56w, 22h ago · · ·
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    Wow that was pretty deep

    #26 · 56w, 22h ago · · ·
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    I can't help but think of this as a prequel to TGWP.  Pinkies thoughts about changing the nature of something by altering it's appearance could easily lead to her decision to change herself.

    #27 · 56w, 22h ago · · ·
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    This appears to be awesome, coated with win, sprinkled with a dusting of epic, and baked in a mix of perfect characterization.  You, my good sir, rock.  Please continue to do so.

    #28 · 56w, 22h ago · · ·
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    I love psychological whoop-de-doo like this. :heart:

    It really :derpytongue2: with the mind.

    #29 · 56w, 22h ago · · ·
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    Notes while reading:

    "Her furniture had been covered in protective tarps, but there had been nothing in place to protect those poor walls – perhaps, Pinkie mused, because painting the walls had been the entire point of the exercise in the first place." Everything in bold is unnecessary. This is entirely a personal opinion, but I've always felt that as a writer, if you make an implication, trust your reader to understand; you don't have to explain it. It makes your stories more interactive, and therefore more interesting.

    "and force a knew one upon it." Slight misspelling here.

    "as thought they’d forgotten the unicorn was even there." And here.

    As for the actual story, I love it. But I'm torn on whether or not I think it would be better if everything other than the first section simply disappeared. I mean, it's obviously a comedy, but in my eyes, that whole first section, with all its deep introspection about paint drying was already comedic.

    There were some good lines in the later parts, (particularly amusing was when dash gave her the cupcake), but it felt unnecessary. My first instinct (which I've learned to trust), is that it would've been much more powerful, and funny, if it had ended after the first section.

    #30 · 56w, 21h ago · · ·
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    I feel sad for the Orange Wall now :c

    I'll never be able to paint a wall without thinking of this story from now on.

    Amazing one-shot :D

    Have a good one.

    #31 · 56w, 21h ago · · ·
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    that was one of the only well written philosophical fim fics i have ever read. well done good sir!:twilightsmile:

    #32 · 56w, 21h ago · 1 · ·
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    Okay, that was brilliant. Only Pinkie could learn a life lesson from paint drying. Seriously, her inner monologue is golden. Rainbow and Twilight are great, too. Especially Rainbow with her cupcake. This whole story is just made of awesome. :rainbowkiss:

    Thank you Piggy for inspiring this and thank you AA for actually writing it. :pinkiehappy:

    #33 · 56w, 21h ago · · ·
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    Silly Pinkie.:pinkiehappy:

    #34 · 56w, 21h ago · · ·
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    Woah. Pinkie, you're a genius.

    Now, excuse me, I think I need to go have a discussion with my walls, or something.

    #35 · 56w, 20h ago · · ·
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    *reads description*

    *looks at upvotes*

    *looks at downvotes*

    Apparently the brony community thinks your friend is right.

    #36 · 56w, 20h ago · · ·
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    Deep down Pinkie gets into a philosophical stupor that never ends like this;

    Sugar snaps her out of it... Sugar is the answer to life's questions as well as... the enigma called Pinkie?

    #37 · 56w, 19h ago · · ·
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    This was very good and it also helped me emotionally in the moment, so I thank you for that. An impressive piece of prose.

    #38 · 56w, 19h ago · · ·
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    Oh wow. I read it before, and while it was good, I never expected it to be featured. You truly are a genius.

    #39 · 56w, 19h ago · · ·
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    I...I don't understand how a story with a premise this simple could wind up bringing tears to my eyes...:fluttercry:

    Bravo. This was excellent, and a compelling read. :heart:

    #40 · 56w, 19h ago · · ·
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    Only pinkie pie

    #41 · 56w, 18h ago · · ·
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    Okay... Now I can talk to walls properly

    #42 · 56w, 18h ago · · ·
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    ok...:ajbemused:

    This lleft me depressed and introspective...:pinkiesad2:

    Then I FINALLY remembered 'It's a story about pinkie pie watching paint dry'....:pinkiegasp::pinkiecrazy::pinkiehappy:

    ...yeah.....:yay::trollestia:

    #43 · 56w, 18h ago · · ·
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    >>491704

    No, no, no. Not be the cupcake! NOT be the cupcake!

    Nopony needs to be a cupcake, okay?

    #44 · 56w, 18h ago · · ·
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    Bravo, I would say mission accomplished. And now, I must issue you a new challenge.

    "Pinkie Pie watches grass grow."

    Go.

    #45 · 56w, 18h ago · · ·
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    Yes, well... :twilightoops:

    It certainly is interesting.

    I guess this proves the point that if you're good at something, you can basically do whatever with it and still come up with something good. :twilightsmile:

    #46 · 56w, 18h ago · · ·
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    #47 · 56w, 17h ago · · ·
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    :rainbowlaugh: what did I just read? Is that really what comes out of a challenge? Still I guess it WAS pretty good considering the subject. Good job:twilightsmile:

    #48 · 56w, 17h ago · · ·
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    I wanted to write "What did I just read", but I found that I understood this completely.

    How can...

    I mean, that subject....

    It's a story about paint for the love of god how....

    :facehoof:

    No, just... I don't know.

    Lovely story anyway, I found myself lauging more than I should about it. :twilightsmile:

    #49 · 56w, 17h ago · · ·
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    Like the best parodies, this story works as the very thing it is parodying - as off-the-wall and bizarre as Pinkie's ponderings are, they're not without a point. If you ask me, you've risen to the challenge, and kicked its flank! :pinkiegasp:

    #50 · 56w, 17h ago · · ·
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    :facehoof:

    #51 · 56w, 17h ago · · ·
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    I....

    I....

    how...

    oh dear

    I think my brain broke

    #52 · 56w, 17h ago · · ·
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    Heh, nice job here. Very clever concept, and great delivery.

    #53 · 56w, 17h ago · · ·
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    This*sob* this is just wonderful. Bravo good sir. Bravo:rainbowkiss:

    #54 · 56w, 17h ago · · ·
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    >>491931

    ... I know the stuff in bold was unnecessary. It ... it was a joke. Like, "Well, duh. Of course changing the walls is the point of painting a room. Way to be obvious, Pinkie." Like that. And it wasn't actually intended to be powerful or philosophical. I called it a self-parody for a reason - because most of my stories are unnecessarily introspective and "deep."

    #55 · 56w, 16h ago · · ·
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    AA, have I ever mentioned that I love you?

    I love you.

    Continue being you.

    #56 · 56w, 16h ago · · ·
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    Just....How??

    :facehoof:

    Why do i feel emotion for A WALL??!!

    AA, you have some kind of power in your words........just......DAMN!!

    #57 · 56w, 16h ago · · ·
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    That was mind-blowing. I may never look at a wall the same way again.

    #58 · 56w, 16h ago · · ·
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    I don't know how, but you still managed to fit RainbowPie in a 2000 word story about paint drying. What the actual fuck AbsoAnon.

    #59 · 56w, 16h ago · · ·
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    I swear, you could write a fic that's just the word "mayonaise" written one-thousand times and it'd still get into the "Featured" box.

    Edit: As for the story itself. I enjoyed it. Crazy and worthy of a thumbs-up.

    #60 · 56w, 16h ago · · ·
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    What... but... how did you...?

    Dude. You wrote a story about a pony watching paint on a wall dry whilst having an amazing inner monologue that just... almost makes me think about giving my sapphire blue walls some serious apologies. They weren't always sapphire blue, you know. I don't even remember what they were before.

    *sigh* I really want to be able to write like this. Good work, AbsoluteAnonymous. Keep it up.

    #61 · 56w, 16h ago · · ·
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    Wait... that was an incredible pychological journey?

    That's just some of my daily thoughts...  I highly doubt that my thoughts qualify as incredible.

    #62 · 56w, 16h ago · · ·
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    I almost want to make a pony in ponycreator based on Orange Room, and Pinkie's wonderings of what it would be like if it was a pony. Almost. We'll see what happens.

    #63 · 56w, 15h ago · · ·
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    You have made gold without even trying.

    Congrats.  :pinkiehappy:

    #64 · 56w, 15h ago · · ·
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    Good one AA.

    #65 · 56w, 15h ago · · ·
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    >>492473

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    *ahem*

    I had to. After all, two of the stories in the featured box right now are TwiDash. I needed to restore strength to the RainbowPie front somehow.

    :pinkiehappy::heart::rainbowkiss:

    #66 · 56w, 15h ago · · ·
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    Wow, paint drying. I read due to premise:

    >< How is someone supposed to fit that in a 2000 word story and keep the reader's attention.

    #67 · 56w, 15h ago · · 1 ·
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    I simply cannot say that I found any value in this other than the realization that so many people misunderstand Pinkie. It pained me to read the entire thing.

    In the first place, you are simply making Pinkie look like an idiot. She's trying to personify the walls ... as the the walls were animate beings capable of emotion or even thought! My assumption is that you're trying to make some kind of parallel here, as though the walls my be symbolic of something, but I simply can't see it. Pinkie would never think about this sort of thing for an extended period of time, because she knows that walls are not living beings. They don't care what color they are and never will. Thus the form that they take is completely up to the owner of the walls.

    This brings me to my next point. Your misuse of the terms "nature" and "essence" were hardly tolerable throughout the story and the act of improperly using them shows that you have done no serious research in philosophy. What you are referring to based upon context with these words is actually "form". Nature and essence are words which refer to the innermost qualities that make up an entity; nature being the tendency for and the properties that compel the entity to change its form and essence being the unchangeable qualities that will remain with an entity. Outward appearance fits neither of these descriptions, but rather it adheres more to "form" which denotes the outward appearance of an object which can be changed by external forces and will be changed by the entity's nature.

    Both of these problems are tolerable to say the most, but finally, the one problem that I could not tolerate by any means is your method by whichPinkie is freed from her stupor. Your solution to the matter is to have Rainbow Dash give her a cupcake which perks her up. Now, granted that she also went through a mental process of introspection to do so, but ultimately it was the sugar in the cupcake that brought the conflict to a resolution. I can hardly express with words the anger that this brings me. There has been no evidence in the canon that shows that Pinkie is addicted to or dependent upon a substance of any kind, in any way. She may eat more sugar than anyone else but this by no means indicates a physiological disorder. It is for that reason that the idea of Pinkie needing a cupcake to bring herself out of her near-depressive (and completely illogical) state in the same way the a drug addict needs another high to remove himself from his depression is nothing short of insulting Pinkie. My heart breaks when I see all my hard work in trying to show people the redeeming qualities of Pinkie torn apart by a 2,000 word one-shot.

    I'm not going to dislike this because it appears to be written with some kind of logical thought process, and as a story, it's well written. My conclusion then is that it's a well written story with a bad moral, but to re-iterate, I dislike it with great intensity.

    #68 · 56w, 15h ago · · ·
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    Now, this is just showing off, is what this is. *grin* Not that I'm complaining, mind. I'm just saying.

    Show-off. :pinkiehappy:

    The room had been orange, and now it was not.

    So, beginning are important, and I love this beginning. It's boring as heck in what it's actually saying, but its phrasing is ponderous and pompous and therefore funny. It is, in other words, the perfect beginning to this story.

    Perhaps the walls no longer viewed themselves as Orange Walls. Perhaps they accepted their destiny as Pink Walls and would resent her for altering them further.

    The utter seriousness of the writing is, of course, what makes this so funny. Plus, Pinkie anthropomorphizing the walls. (Ponypomorphizing?)

    “I have no idea! Once she started crying after eating a cupcake because she missed it - maybe she feels bad about painting the walls?”

    “That’s silly!”

    Hee. Rainbow is, of course, ONE HUNDRED PERCENT CORRECT, and I find it both funny and legitimately cute that she knows Pinkie so well. This is totally your RainbowPie biases showing through, but since I share those biases, I'm completely okay with that. :pinkiehappy:

    “Cupcake!” she said fiercely. “Look at the cupcake! Eat the cupcake.”

    Bwa ha ha ha! This is my favorite part of the story. Mostly because I am envisioning Rainbow doing all of this while wearing her Serious Game Face, eyes kind of squinted, while barking at Pinkie.

    And so Pinkie exited the Formerly Orange Room with no regrets, not looking back even once, instead choosing to look forwards. To the future. To friends. To delicious, tasty cupcakes. With sprinkles.

    Like this a lot--just as you're on the verge of putting out something that we can take seriously as a philosophical truth, you immediately undercut it with something like this. Keeps up this serious/ridiculous tension throughout the story that I enjoyed.

    Also, I think this is a very good self-parody, as there were phrases and sentences that I could almost SWEAR were in "The Games We Play." Seriously, take this bit ...

    Pinkie Pie wanted to make amends, but she didn’t know how. She didn’t know how to make it up to the poor walls; after all, she had already changed them too much, had already stripped them of their identities. If she went any further, what would become of them?

    ... swap out "walls" for "Rainbow Dash," and you have a paragraph that could easily have been plunked down somewhere in TGWP. Hee.

    #69 · 56w, 15h ago · · ·
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    >>492587

    Dude, it was a parody. Of myself. Because I recently realized that I tend to write stories like this a lot; where I make Pinkie painfully OOC and misuse words to sound fancy and act overly pretentious. Hence the term "self-parody" in the description. I don't understand why people keep talking about how meaningful or lovely or philosophical it was, because I intentionally made it ridiculous. You're allowed to not take it seriously and/or think it's dumb, because I think it's dumb, too.

    #70 · 56w, 15h ago · · ·
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    This was amazing!  Loved the self-parody, loved the characters, loved the suspense... Great job!:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

    #71 · 56w, 15h ago · · ·
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    But Pinkie, what it it hadn't always been orange?

    #72 · 56w, 15h ago · · ·
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    >>492603

    Biases? What biases? I have no idea what you're talking about. Have you been talking to jailbot?! He's always been against me, from the very start! This could totally have easily been a Twipie story, maybe! After all, Twilight was there, right?!

    >>492623

    Don't even say that. You'll break her poor mind.

    #73 · 56w, 15h ago · · ·
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    Self-parody is best parody.

    #74 · 56w, 15h ago · · ·
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    ...Who knew that paint could be such a touchy, physcological subject?:pinkiegasp:

    I never knew...:moustache:

    #75 · 56w, 14h ago · · ·
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    What should I say? Smart Pinkie is never fun.

    #76 · 56w, 14h ago · · ·
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    >>492629

    The day that you write a TwiPie story is the day I write Sparity. *snort*

    Also, I wouldn't say you've written Pinkie as "painfully OOC," though yeah, a number of your stories have explored the darker elements of Pinkie's personality. Just FWIW.

    #77 · 56w, 14h ago · · ·
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    Huh, I just read a story about paint drying and came out a better person.

    I'm glad to have been knocked of the feature board by such a deserving story :P

    #78 · 56w, 14h ago · · ·
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    My hand hurts. From cutting the thumb off and giving it to you, you know.

    #79 · 56w, 14h ago · · ·
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    Wow, this is straight up art. Adding it to my one-shot wall of awesome.

    I really need to read TGWP one of these days.

    #80 · 56w, 14h ago · · ·
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    When I read the ending It sounded like the Finish of an episode of My Name Is Earl.

    #81 · 56w, 14h ago · · ·
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    ...And that is why I smash walls, not paint them.

    But still, that was actually quite good and made me smile at the end.

    #82 · 56w, 14h ago · · ·
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    This is what I was talkin about people! This is why we don't give things to Pinkie! Who told her it was okay to paint her room?

    This was awesome

    #83 · 56w, 13h ago · · ·
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    What did I just read. And why did I like it so much. PhilosoPie ftw?

    #84 · 56w, 13h ago · · ·
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    I hope you can see my thumbs, because I'm raising them as high as I can.

    Sure, your misuse of the comma makes me want to cry. And sure, the characterization for Dash and Twilight isn't as strong as I would like.

    But it is nonetheless a work of brilliance. Your word choice is eloquent while remaining concise, the pacing is just right to keep the reader's attention, and by Celestia it did the one thing I can truly hope for out of a work of art - it made me think.

    Bravo. Truly, bravo.

    #85 · 56w, 13h ago · · ·
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    I'm commander Shepard, and this is my favorite Pinkie story on the extranet.

    #86 · 56w, 13h ago · · ·
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    This is the greatest story of painting I have ever read. Please, For the love of God, The Mare, and Celestia, MAKE MORE :flutterrage:

    #87 · 56w, 13h ago · · ·
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    >>492754

    Nopony gives anything to Pinkie Pie.  Nor does she take them.  She simply has things.

    #88 · 56w, 13h ago · · ·
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    >>492822 XD so true, so true

    #89 · 56w, 13h ago · · ·
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    This is just awesome.  Who new walls had such personality?

    Sure beats watching grass grow.:pinkiehappy:

    #90 · 56w, 13h ago · · ·
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    >>492280

    "Pinkie Pie watches grass grow"

    I see your challenge and raise you another challenge:

    "Pinkie Pie watches grass not grow"

    #91 · 56w, 13h ago · · ·
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    Finally, someone is this world makes watching paint dry interesting!

    -Minty

    #92 · 56w, 13h ago · · ·
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    :derpyderp2::derpytongue2: Duh, okay!

    #93 · 56w, 13h ago · · ·
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    Crap, I told myself I am not going to like it... yet i love it. :facehoof:

    #94 · 56w, 13h ago · · ·
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    Schrødinger would say the room is both pink AND orange.

    #95 · 56w, 13h ago · · ·
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    "I have no idea! Once she started crying after eating a cupcake because she missed it"

    Is that a Invader Zim reference i see.:pinkiehappy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DtJ-jmZNTfU

    #96 · 56w, 13h ago · · ·
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    >>492606

    You're the victim of Poe's Law, which states that no matter how ridiculous a parody is, someone is bound to take it seriously. Happens to all authors.

    #97 · 56w, 13h ago · · ·
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    If one were to venture into Pinkie's mind... Many bad things would happen to those poor souls.

    #98 · 56w, 13h ago · · ·
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    Who'd have thought that paint could be so deep and thought provoking.

    Ok.  I gotta say that I love deep pinkie.  Also gotta say that if pinkie was going to have a life changing revelation, that this strikes me as a fitting circumstance.

    #99 · 56w, 13h ago · · ·
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    .hawt:heart:

    #100 · 56w, 12h ago · · ·
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    Man, just imagine what thoughts travel through her head when she watches grass grow...

    Pinkie Pie, Zen mistress of Ponyville.

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