... I'm quite confused, but that was beautiful writing.

The writing is awesome, but the vertical bar usage and butchering of capitalization in the title might turn people away from it.

Just a little thought, good fic though!

PROTIP:

To better enjoy this fanfic, you'll need ultraviolet light.

If you know what I mean

*Looks down*

Welp! I need new change of pants now.

THIS IS BRILLIANT

Beautifully written and perfectly dark. All else failed...

Whoa, thats kay... sleeps for pussys anyway

You should've saved this for October, because this'd be a strong entry for any sort of horror contest.

I'm confused...were those little 'secret notes' written in by Fluttershy? Or was Twilight cracking up far more than it seemed? Also, it would be nice to see a second chapter which contains the events written in the buried ledger from Sweet Apple Acres. It should be recoverable, right?

I'm confused yet flowed

Wow. This is amazing!

I agree with Scruce about the title, I usually would ignore any story with a title like that.  I gave it a chance as you wrote a good summary and the story was marked complete.  If there was some message or artistic purpose for the title being the way it is, I don't see it.

As for the story, an enjoyable read.  The observations on the writing style and page conditions were clear enough without breaking the flow of the story.  I'm torn between agreeing with wanting to see the Apple Acres ledger for another view of this world, or hoping it stays as is with the fact that we never really know what happened adding a nice ammount of horror to the story.

...Unless they gave into maddness and canibilism up there on the farm.

whats up with the broken links to google docs?

Pretty awesome! The whole journal concept was very Lovecraftian!

Suggestion: Make the notes written by the discoverer italicised. It makes for easier reading, as the reader can easily distinguish what's written by Twilight and what's been added.

Oh my god. Mabye noone else got this story but I did. You just have to renmber the other stuff she read about. Anyway these are like weeping angels. Its really good writing. Godspeed and goodluck. Also those secret notes are Pinkies Pies. You need to renmber. Pinkie Pie got the invisible ink. The shadows were the creatures Twilight read about. The whispers were what they do to get ponys to blink and die. Go insane. Die. So just need to back track. So now you know! :D Godspeed.

Very nice. Have you read "White" by Tim Lebbon? It reminds me of this strongly.

So, what? I am left sorely confused by this fic, and hope there will be another chapter (after all, she did mention where-abouts they could find another book). All I can say for sure is that, in her place, I would have burnt the library down with myself inside rather than step into the dark. After all, it's a giant thing made of wood, she has plenty of lantersn full of oil. The place should go up nicely.

I didn't feel like sleeping tonight anyways.

Very, very chilling. A couple spelling mistakes here and there, but nothing too substantial (damn my Grammar Nazi-ness). I'll definately be keeping an eye on you in the future.

-Tricondon

Oh wow, comments. Didn't really expect those.

>>489144489144

>>489484489484

(in response to the title)

The title has a purpose, and it's supposed to be a key to finding other things. I'll leave it a mystery for now. Maybe drop a hint in a week if no one has figured it out.

>>489159489159

>>489371489371

>>489819489819

(in response to the hidden things)

Yay, people found them. Now you have to find the other ones.

>>489204489204

>>489961489961

(in response to not sleeping)

Oh? Then maybe you'll enjoy hearing what I listened to with my eyes closed for 3-5 minutes while writing April 14th.

For maximum enjoyment, close your eyes before clicking the link.

Enjoy.

>>489371489371

>>489484489484

>>489941489941

(in response to a sequel or other chapter)

I left this complete because it's the vision I had while writing it. I do have things in mind for the possibility of writing about the ledger, or some other things related to what's going on, but for now those aren't really what I plan to do. Consider it complete, but there's always a chance, right?

>>489830489830

Unfortunately, I have not.

>>489760489760

I will take a look at doing that.

>>489505489505

Are you still having the issue? I apologize cause I kind of made the drawings in GDocs, and they showed before I submitted it. I'm getting them uploaded to an image hosting site to replace the old links.

What? It was good, but what?

>>490124490124

It's fixed now. It makes more sense to me.

>>490613490613

Good to know, and thanks for mentioning the problem.

So, uh, what exactly happened?

crap its to late to do mysterys and puzzles or WHATEVER THIS IS SO IM JUST GOING TO READ THIS LATER AND HOPE IM NOT JUST STUPID OR I JUST NEVER HAVE HEARD OF WHAT YOUR TALKING ABOUT RAGE!!!!!!!!!!

>>496060496060

You should look into that anger, I'm sure there's a pony for that. Also, late is the perfect time to read this.

>>496315496315 ya im seeing one about that right now uhg i just lost my smiley face for the day

kay. this is very good. Kinda reminds me of the vanishing on 7th st. really good movie you should watch it.

>>489371489371

Yes he should definitely do that. It would provide alot more insight to the story and help with identifying clues in the original journal.

>>538101538101

Sometimes what you never learn is the most frightening thing you know. Also, I'm busy changing some things with the story, hosting it in web format, putting in different puzzle formats and rewards, and overall getting it EqD-ready. Soooo, maybe a page from said mentioned journal would appear if you're skilled enough... or someone else gives you the answer, which I hope no one does.

I enjoyed this a lot. Wonderful writing, the way of stylizing it like a journal was excellent. One of the scarier fanfics I've read.

I can't seem to find the secrets, though, and I read the story twice. Can anyone give me a hint?

Oh all holy hell

Didn't need to sleep anyhow ever again

Nothing is scarier

slenderman!

THATS OKAY I DIDN'T NEED TO SLEEP TONIGHT.

Ho man, that invisible ink idea is spectacular! I'm really impressed by that. I actually had to think and decipher what's happening in this story, because everything's written so vaguely. I don't think I've managed to grasp everything, but it'll be fun searching for these missing bits. Some parts of the journal were a little bit boring and draggy though, but I liked it as a whole.

>>15198281519828

I'm glad you enjoyed it, and yeah, it does take a bit to build up. Even after it has, there's not much action involved with it. If I ever get around to it, I had planned to expand and change things a bit to make it more interactive as a whole, but that may take forever with my track record.

I just got done rereading this for Halloween, and it is just as terrifying as the first time I read it. Is there by any chance the possibility of a sequel, perhaps with that book from Sweet Apple Acres? The story is so excellent, and the unresolved mystery of the stuff that happened at Sweet Apple Acres is killing me. I need to read more!

Great... this was very entertaining to read, but now I'm forced to try and decipher some hidden thing which involves the title, secret notes and oddly capitalized letters.

>>15700191570019

Don't waste your time with it. It's a really badly thought out set of puzzles that take too much time for a small return (that's my afterthought kicking in, by the way).

>>15700731570073 And if part of the reason I want to decipher it is because I like puzzles?

(before I understood the ink)

Not scary, just...unsettling

(after I understood the ink)

Oh my fucking god they're everywhere!

Good day to you, you sick twisted man

The first three seconds are my final reaction to this story:

[youtube=http://th06.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2012/310/8/0/horribly_done_cover_art_by_mrdenim-d5k89le.png]

My final reaction to this story:

I am completely and utterly freaked out, and I don't even know what just happened. Well done.

...yeah, I'm going to go hide in the corner now...with a floodlight and a teddy bear

But yeah, that was actually pretty creepy. And the invisible ink? Genius! I didn't catch it at first and when I did it creeped me out even more. I would very much like to know what happened at Sweet Apple Acres though, ESPECIALLY after what Twi said about the book.

I went looking for that invisible ink the first time, looked in all the wrong spots with highlighting, and didn't find it until someone confirmed my suspicions in comments and I thought to switch Fimfiction's lighting scheme. I'm still not sure who they turned inside the library, as has been pointed out, Pinkie was the one who bought the ink, but Fluttershy showed more outward signs of follow through. Both were engaged in suspect behaviour by the end, and both went willingly. I did manage to connect the dream sequence to the order of dissapearence, that was nice. What I'm really curious about is those odd capitalizations, I'll try a few more of my standard bag of tricks before I call it a day, but I do really want to know.

Beautifully done.The format, the writing, the level of immersion, engagement and most of all the atmosphere were played to perfection.

Edit: Shortly after posting I came around to the viewpoint that it was Fluttershy.

I would like this story, because I love disturbing dark little stories like this...

But. I like ponies too much. I don't like dark stories in this medium.

This is a very well made story. It was well written in it's context. It was chilling. It was a mystery. The invisible ink was clever.

But I am sad now for the ponies. Except the main six and Derpy, they deserved to die.

Ahem, I mean, great story. You have done well. And I, for the record, haven't got a clue what the capitalised text is supposed to mean, joining what I believe is everyone else here. Good day.

Words cannot describe the horror this is evoking.  So I shall instead play one of the creepiest movie themes ever written for horror:

Good luck sleeping tonight, kids!

Wow; what a damnably good read. I didn't spot the first secrets 'til the comments, but I can't help but enjoy all the speculating down here about it. Brilliant that the SA featured this, it's veryd deserving.

All the comments trying to make sense of it

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/yay_red.png

The darkness is always more encompassing, and half the darkness is the darkness within, isn't it? The instant I saw the captilized text I thought there must be something to it, but I'm not one to be able to decipher anything like that.

Properly dark, this, like few other fics I've seen here. Too many 'horrors' go in for startlement or depravity, but this did neither, and is all the better for it.

Real horror never needs a scream when it has a whisper, never a howling beast when a chill breeze can carress you so much more intimately. Never more violent than the extinguishing of a fleeting light in the darkness. (Sorry. I couldn't resist )

If there were to be a follow on; I'd imagine it to be from the perspective of Celestia herself, and what comes after.

In a word?

Haunting.

Possibly the most frightening thing I have ever read since Steven King's Misery.

Now I'm off to hide under my bed, surrounded by landmines and floodlights.

Puzzles? And I thought I had to do homework! Hah, that's not happening anymore.

Edit: Now I'm going crazy for that hint that might have come a week later from 29 weeks ago.

Honestly I had no idea what was going on. Still well written though.

This story is exactly the kind of fantastic horror this fandom is so lax at producing, and I'm damn proud that I got to be the one to approve this for posting on EqD.  Awesome job, man.

>>17311811731181

Well, that made my morning. Thank you.

Hey! Congratulations on getting this to EQD! I'm only surprised that it took so long. Still an excellent story!

god, reading this along with the mellow and dark music form ODST...my mind is racing with the faces and of the vanishings and of fluttershy. you have created a fine piece my friend

its almost as if...i can hear the whispers too...

So after figuring out that some of the white space actually had messages in them, I still have no idea what's going on. Someone mentioned the ink blots and quill indentations being important, but I have no clue. The title is pretty darn important, but apparently simply taking the uppercase gives you nothing at face value. Perhaps an anagram? Gah, I'm so bad at these kinds of things.

  AFLELIEDAES is what you get from the capitalized letters.   etngghtnthrkns from the non capitalized. I may be over thinking this.

This story makes my skin crawl and I LOVE IT!

A damn creepy story that is similar to the legend of Roanoke Island, in my opinion.

Okay. After I'm done with my alternate reality story, I need to write something like this. I had always wanted to write a horrifying story before I even considered joinin this site. You sir, have given me I inspiration.

Not bad. Not often a fan of stories where the main protagonists are just fucked from the get-go, but it was solid nonetheless.

Looks like it's FUCK ALL SHIT O'CLOCK

Dude I finally discovered how to discover the rest and SWEET CELESTIA I HAVE GOOSEBUMPS.

.....................

Nothing more can be said.

Eh, it's not like I needed sleeping.

I wish I could say I would try to decipher everything that's going on here, but... I probably won't. (I wouldn't mind being spoiled though)

>>17481621748162

>>17481811748181

Given that I've stopped becoming a fan of being a cryptic a-hole:

Why are there three i's, one of which is a capital i, and two of which are |'s?

So creepy. It's very Lovecraftian, and it also makes me think of the journals in Amnesia (which is based on Lovecraft anyway). Just makes me want to keep reading more to see the tension build up.

Ooh, the title and the end scrawl. Creepy.

They're anagrams, dear god. Anagrams with lines.

Oh, and the hidden notes.

Hidden, in the shadows. Much like the rest of the story.

Of course, that's probably only the "easy" and "novice" levels of the trickery and crypticism in this piece. I've certainly got my work cut out for me in deciphering it.

The colors, they're everywhere, but in black and white. It's all empty. There never was any hope, really. Only a lie.

Okay, I read the whole thing, now I am confused in what is hidden (Yes, I saw the invisible ink) in the notes.

And somehow I don't want to sleep.

Why did I have to be alone in the house while reading this?

Stephen King ain't got shit on this story. This was such a good fic, you sir have a place within fanfic writing. Would love to see a fanmade video of this as well.

Took about  a half hour but I final decoded the meaning of the title. Clever...though the huge spaces between paragraphs was kinda a dead giveaway that something else was hidden. Now I just have to figure out the significance of the torn page...  

I see what you did with the title there We need less gore factors and more stories like this. The gory stuff stays with you for a second, but *this* is gonna stay with me 'till christmas

Bought a book with tons of horror stories from famous horror writers. Interesting stories, but not really creepy. Read this, now I feel as if something in my house is watching me. I usually feel like this. Just a lot worse now.

All I got was the hidden messages.

I can't find the rest.

Oh well, sleep is for the weak!

Seriously though, not falling asleep, and I think I'm gunna keep the lights on tonight...

No idea, but this scene just played through my head once I finished this story.

"It's all a...dream..."

Thank you for writing a truly unforgettable story. I found one of the secrets, and possibly the title one, but that is enough for me. Til next time.

Why are there three i's, one of which is a capital i, and two of which are |'s?

To play hob with my poor ebook reader perhaps?

I guess this story is really meant to be read as apposed to listened to; much of it depends on the visual formatting.

I did not quite follow the flow of the story, but I liked to overall premise. There is something absolutely chilling watching your neighbors, friends, and family disappear while you can only stand and helplessly watch. You certainly did a good job of showing and not telling. Unfortunately, I still am not exactly sure what it is I have been shown.

Reading it again, people are mentioning hiddden things in it which I can't seem to find. Can I have a hint?

>>17485351748535

To anyone wondering, there were phrases that had the same sort of "capitalization puzzle" that the title has. This was removed because they were too complex to be solved. Sorry if you lost sleep over it.

>>17485491748549

Would you be able to tell us what they said?

Call me stupid, but I can't figure this out at all. I'm reading it from an iPod touch, so I don't understand the whole invisible ink thing. Could you please help me out? Also, what a well written story. When Fluttershy had that breakdown, man, that terrified me. plus, those whispers. Those damn whispers. Gah, sleep is for the weak.

Can't figure out the key either Feel like a madman siting here in the middle of the night writing down "A FLEet|ng LIght |n thE DArknEsS" all over again. Unless your secret message is 425256 (has at least 42 in it), "Fens king eats night hatred hell" (no idea^^) or "The Ink lies" (which would be fitting but can't be right since i leave out more than half the letters ;))

The story itself was pretty cool, loved the invisible ink addition. I'd suspect it was just one of the shadows, making additions to the journal afterwards. Or Twillight after going insane. Who knows.

By the way, you missed the chance to become my favorite person of the week: While trying to figure out hidden stuff, I thought I'd fool around with the cover image a bit. Making it slowly darker and therefore blowing out the candle was very spooky, especially immediately after reading the story. Having a smiling face or something else appear once the lighting is set lowest would have been insanely horrible. Oh well, can't have all

At least I get to sleep that way

Love stories like this, even if I'm too dumb to decipher anything. I usually just read the comments to find out. Seems like there's still a lot of hidden stuff though.

Great read!

>>17485631748563

Wouldn't hurt.

>>17485491748549

Too bad. I absolutely love multi-level codey things, especially when they come together.

Except I can hardly ever figure them out on my own. But it's fun to try!

But you seriously do have to make another one of these, include a bunch of different levels of coding that all relate to each other, the final one being a culmination of all of them. And then you cease replying to anything, and only dropping in to give hints in short, cryptic answers that only comprise of a few choice words.

It will be the most epic literary puzzle of our time.

Also, none of you will ever find my secret invisible comment text code. NEVER!!!

>>17482851748285

So the | are breaks? Then I get AFLE | LI | EDAES. Still think the entire thing is an anagram. Still clueless. Btw. your dropbox link is 403'd

Oh, this is going to drive me insane! I hope someone more clever than I am solves whatever twisted mystery you wrote and posts it so I can go to sleep within the next week. This was a brilliant read.

Great story, vague writing style really leads the reader to draw their own, creepy, conclusions. Really great until I realized I spent several hours attempting to decode title. Please tell us what it means!!!!!

>>17486851748685

A|| ELSE FAILED

This was definitely a fun read, but I still feel like I/we are missing pieces. I for one can't stand that feeling, so who's up for some more clue compilation? Anyone desiring to avoid spoilers, don't read any further.

The invisible ink sections were mentioned by plenty of others before, and I am of the opinion that they were written by Fluttershy. An interesting inclusion, sure, but they seem to me as little more than cultish ramblings. Maybe someone else can read more into them than that?

The odd scripting of the title was also commented on, but like the invisible ink, the message A|| ELSE FAILED reveals little about the nature of the... event? Worth mentioning here is the parallel of the dream-journal script, the word VIRUS scrawled on the first dream note, and A|| ELSE FAILED on the second. (I call these dreams, but the second folded note, along with its invisible ink refer to them as memories. Events that are recorded, then forgotten about. They could well be dreams that are had and forgotten, but they could also be... something else.)

One thing I notice no one else has commented on is the dates. The recovery team finds the journal in an abandoned Ponyville on April 16th. The last dated entry in the journal takes place on April 29th. April 16th, in the journal, is the first day that the sun failed to rise.

Final point of note right now is about Twilight's first 'dream', and the other ponies that appear around her, then fade away before her candle is blown out. Applejack and Rainbow Dash fade from view first, and they are the first that Twilight finds to have been 'taken'. Fluttershy fades next, and is the next 'taken'. Pinkie, Rarity and Spike don't fade. They drift away. I interpret this as Twilight herself being the next to be 'taken', and her last entry about blinking and the others vanishing being her own perception breaking down, and not Pinkie and Rarity being snatched away in the time it takes her to blink.

That's all the puzzling for me, my mind is pretty much tapped. I would definitely love to see a parallel to this though in the form of the Sweet Apple Acres ledger. Particularly, it strikes me as odd that Twilight found several fresh graves marked with shovels when she went, yet nowhere else in Ponyville were signs of ponies dying to this event found. You came up with something very clever here Flashgen, and it bugs me to only get a small window into it.

>>17485871748587

i remember reading this for the first time then realizing the hidden sentences where there then actually decoding a few of the sentences. this brought back those memories. now i have to change pants. i hope you are happy.

Well, I could have slept right now with the information kind Actiene gave me, but thanks to Areovenax and his higher level of thinking, I am now forced to try to figure out more about this mysterious story and-AUGH MY BRAIN HURTS. Thats it, continuing tomorrow. G'night and don't let the mysterious monsters bite

While reading this, I couldn't help but be reminded of this story. Still, a very good read. I'll have to go through it again to get the message.

To be honest I was hoping for a more than just "Hey! Here's a puzzle for you! Try to take the capitalized/edited letters, unscramble them, and make a phrase that was written in or related to the story! Have fun!"

I guess that's the most you can do in a story posted on FimFiction where editing and designing text is rather restricted.

Really though, unscrambling puzzles, in my opinion, are overused, unnecessarily complicated (which I think you figured out), and just not as, let's say... profound as some people think they are. Not that I'm harping on you or anything, I just hate unscrambling.  

Uh huh hmmm....Didn't need sleep anyways!

Not a bad fic. Very Lovecraftian... But godfucking damn i hate the Weeping Angels concept. It freaks me right out. I blame you if i wind up being useless at work tomorrow due to lack of sleep.

HAH. "Invisible ink" my ass, I read FimFic in dark mode.

Damn it all i already had it set to the "right" setting so there was no mystery for me i just read it as it was written "secrets" and all . Really nice story but missing out on slowly finding the secrets makes me a sad pony i would have been so much more scared.

I enjoyed this story but I feel like I need to make a few comments about it. Simply because it just feels incomplete, despite the tag that states otherwise.

I understand that some of the vagueness of the information that we are presented with is to increase the creep factor of the story. But the medium we are being presented to is an investigators findings in the aftermath of the event. So because of this fact I have gathered that the investigator in charge of presenting this information is completely incompetent. And here is why.

Our first problem is the fact that, invisible ink aside, Twilight clearly states where she found a clue as to what was happening in the town. In the book she mentions is a myth or legend about what may be occurring. The entry was damaged which is a neat first way of presenting the mystery. However, if our investigator had half a brain he would have immediately found said book and researched himself to see what she was talking about. Not just ignore the entry and move on.

The giant glaring flaw in this investigation is the fact that nowhere does the investigator state that a team checked into Sweet Apple Acres. In the opening paragraphs we are given a very brief recount of major areas of the town. Except for the farm. Which doesn't make sense for several reason that I will get to. But most prominently, that there may have been ponies there since ponies lived there so why not just take a quick trot over there and see what's been going on. There's a huge issue in this fact later in the story.

After the dates enter into implausibility and begin to askew what this poor simpleton of an investigator can call reality. We find that Twilight herself goes to Sweet Apple Acres to see if anyone was left. As the farm is well lit and apparently 'safe'. This should have been a giant red flag to our investigation team as twilight discovers a SEPARATE account of what was going on during this whole event. Also she makes a claim of finding graves. Graves would mean bodies. Bodies would mean examinations. And above all answers. A team would be immediately dispatched to verify this claim even IF the investigator didn't belief it was possible. Two big chances to compound the mystery were missed here and could have been handled better.

The first way to tackle this information would be for the investigator to make an initial comment of "A team was dispatched to sweet apple acres but ultimately nothing was found. No graves or journal could be accounted for." This would solve the questions of what truly occurred and further increase the creepiness that twilight's book was able to find it's way into reality but nothing else did.

The second would be to say that the team found the journal and several empty graves. Then have a second chapter entirely composed of the Sweet Apple Acre findings. This would allow us to further cement that what happened was indeed reality and cause more questions to be raised.

Ultimately, I feel the only true failing that this story has is that it really is incomplete for stylistic reasons. Which is fine in a way but in the end just hurts the over all appeal for me at least. There are ways to be cryptic and mysterious without intentionally hiding information from your audience. And unfortunately, our incompetent investigation team and the complete lack of a follow up report or more findings makes me feel like too much is intentionally held back to try and force the reader to ask questions.

I think it's worth mentioning that I rarely offer criticism. So don't take my statements as that I didn't like this story. I in fact enjoyed it so much that I wanted to point out where I feel it could be made better. But I also am one to appreciate sticking to one's vision. Which you said you tried very hard too when you first posted it.

I need the TRUTH!!! And dont you tell me that I cant HANDLE THE TRUTH! BECAUSE I CAN!!!

>>17481811748181

HOLY FUCKING SHIT IT SPELLS ALL ELSE FAILED!!! THE CAPITALS spell the the ending! I need to go look at secrets now. i was freaked out when i wrote the beginning of this sentence.

>>17485871748587

You sir, are a MAGNIFICENT bastard at writing! I look forward to any other endeavors you have or will make!

>>489819489819

Looks like the SCP foundation messed up again if you know what i mean ;D. 173 in shadow form is not good

Edit: After calming down a bit and reading it again this is what I think may have happened. From the looks of things, i'm thinking that twilight's magic put her in contact with whatever being brings the shadows and made it tricked or coerced her into allowing the shadows to come to Ponyville. It then wiped her memory but not on a subconscious level which vaguely allowed her to remember what it showed and promised her. It watched and waited (getting angered when she tried to research whatever it was as seen by the notes around the torn page) until it had corroded her and her friends enough to take them. Whatever it did is still up in the air for me though.

There was an online flash horror game I used to play as a kid. Here's a link.

This really REALLY reminded me of that game and it's mechanics, so no sleep for me tonight. Great story, love the secrets.

So the Shadow Walkers are like a virus? They thrive in the dark, they tempt ponies, and then they add them to their ranks. I bet the sun and moon and stars disappeared because the Walkers got the princesses. Ermaguh.