“Okay, don’t panic Twilight… this can still work…” Twilight begins to pace at the entrance, and you can hear the gears turning in her head. You start to worry as she begins to grind her teeth, a sound akin to a hacksaw scraping against a sheet of metal. “I just know I’m going to regret asking what happened, so let’s skip to the point; there needs to be somepony wearing each of these Elements.”
“Perhaps…” You receive a flash of insight. “I could find some replacements! Who says your friends are the only ones that can use the Elements?”
Twilight shakes her head. “No way is that going to work. I remember when Spike tried to replace Rainbow Dash. It didn’t end well.”
“Then what do we do?” you ask.
She lets out a long, tired sigh. “Work with what we have. Looking back, I suppose none of us were really trying the first time we tried to stop Discord. All my friends were ‘discorded’, per say, and I wasn’t much better, just wanting to get it over with. I mean, the Princesses managed to do it with just the two of them; maybe we can make it work with four. There is one thing, however.”
Twilight taps on the force field, sending out a powerful ripple. “I’m still trapped in here. Somepony – or something- needs to take my place.” She looks straight at you.
Instinctively you back away. “You don’t mean…”
“Who else can we get on such short notice?”
“But… I thought you just said replacements won't work?”
You finally let out a frustrated sigh. “Fine. But if I get turned into a watermelon or something, I blame you.”
As you enter a clearing, the other four ponies following right behind you, you see Discord resting on top of a throne constructed entirely from bones. It’d freak you out if it wasn’t for the fact that the bones are rubber chew toys.
“Ah, so Equestria’s latest hero is attempting to topple me from my throne.” Discord yawns, obviously threatened by your presence. “Would you mind taking a number? I’m busy relaxing right now. Relaxing is tremendously hard work.”
“Discord!” you cry, “We’re here to stop you!”
“Yes, I already knew that,” Discord impatiently replies. “And I’m horrified. Look at me; I’m shaking in my boots.” He yawns again. “Can we get this over with? I have a spa appointment. I don’t maintain this luxurious coat just by snapping my fingers you know. Oh wait…” He snaps his fingers, and is suddenly dressed in a tux and top hat, a monocle nestled next to his left eye. “I do!” He lets out an obnoxious laugh.
You get the impression that he isn’t taking you too seriously.
“Alright, we’re only down two Elements. We may still be able to do this,” you tell your companions. They seem slightly nervous, but still resolved to go through with this, no matter what happens. What’s the worst Discord’s going to do? Trample you all with bunnies?
The five of you concentrate. You close your eyes and start thinking of something. Does it matter what you concentrate on, or can you just think about movies or something? You better not think too hard on it, lest you lose your concentration. You hear a loud noise, as though a cannon had just gone off. You open your eyes and see a strong beam of magic shooting towards Discord, who lets out a gasp as he’s hit. Starting at the feet, you watch as Discord begins turning to stone. You let out a whoop! It’s working! It’s actually working!
First the feet, then the lower legs, then the upper legs, then-
The beam stops, as though some jerk had just flipped the power switch. You turn to see your four companions collapse from exhaustion. “Um, girls? Now’s not the time for sleeping!” You look back at Discord, who is now no longer turning into stone. The process had stopped at the waist. Panicky, you turn back to the others. “Um, girls?! We’ve got a giant abomination of nature ready to perform unspeakable acts of evil! Get your lazy asses off the ground and do something!”
“I’d be more worried about yourself if I were you.”
You turn around to see Discord right behind you, a devilish grin on his face. You need to crane your neck just to see that smile. “Uh, Discord!” you smile sheepishly. “You really broke out of that stone fast!”
“Well, I’m glad you’re showing such concern about my well being,” he replies. You can see a glint in his eye, as though he’s about to do something that you really, REALLY aren’t going to like.
“Well, I’d never want to inflict harm on another creature as, um, nice as you!” You give the god the biggest, most innocent smile you can muster.
“How sweet,” Discord crouches down, giving you a rough pat on the head. “It’s nice to know such generous individuals like you exist in this cold, cruel world. As a matter of fact, since you’re so nice…” He snaps his fingers and a maid’s dress materializes out of thin air. You react in surprise, catching it as it falls. “I’m sure it would be your absolute pleasure to be my loyal servant for the rest of your miserable existence.”
“What?! No way am I-”
“Did I mention I can shoot lightning out of my fingertips?” he interrupts.
“- going to pass up such a great opportunity!” you quickly edit your statement.
“Good human. Now, chop-chop!” He claps his hands. “I want you to start by sweeping up all the dirt in the area.”
You look around at the ground. “But… We’re outside.”
“Well, the sooner you get started the better, eh?”
You sigh before trudging off to go change.
You’re going to need a bigger broom.
Well, that didn't end well. Would you like to try your luck a second time?