Some weird person who writes stories about ponies. You should probably just ignore him.
43w, 6dA Little Something for my 500 Subscribers 15 comments · 359 views
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48w, 1dI'm Back, Bitches! (My apologies for calling you all bitches.) 74 comments · 339 views
53w, 6dHiatus 50 comments · 129 views
69w, 1dBlog-Update-Stuff: Because SOMEBODY Reads Them, Right? (No, mom, you don't count.) 9 comments · 65 views
70w, 3dI Must Be Slowing Down in My Old Age 14 comments · 69 views
73w, 5dCollab Fun-Time 12 comments · 85 views
74w, 2dContext 13 comments · 102 views
76w, 2dGrinning from Ear to Ear 10 comments · 100 views
"Miss Sparkle," you begin in your most heroic voice, "It would be my utmost honor to lend you my assistance!"
"That's great!" Twilight's face lights up. "I'm not sure how you knew my name, but we don't have time for idle chit chat!" An explosion suddenly rocks the room you’re in. Or rather, the tree you’re in. That’s right; you’re currently standing inside Twilight’s tree house-library-abode-thing. You hear a menacing cackle drift through the air, and at once you can tell what she needs your help for. After all, you’d recognize the sound of John DeLancie’s laugh anywhere. The unicorn gives you a sheepish grin. “That’s kind of why I’ve called you here. Allow me to introduce myself; I’m Twilight Sparkle, and this is Equestria.”
She proceeds to inform you about Equestria and how she transported you here. As much as I’m sure you’d love a dialogue about all the things you already know and don't care about, I believe I’ll just skip on ahead.
“… and that’s how Equestria was made.”
“I see. Fascinating.” You yawn. “So, you’ve brought me because I’m the best individual to deal with Discord, correct?”
“Actually, I fudged the spell. I grabbed the nine hundred billion, three hundred and sixty two million, forty-two thousand, three-hundred and fiftieth individual most qualified.”
You mentally patch up your injured pride. That’s got to be in at least the top fifty percent, right? you contemplate.
“Very well,” you continue. “So why don’t you handle Discord yourself? I mean, you beat him once before.”
“You’d think it’d be that easy. Unfortunately…” Twilight walks over to the front door and opens it. She attempts to move her hoof through the entrance, but is stopped midway by some sort of invisible force. She taps a few more times, and you can hear a dull thunk each time, and the air seems to ripple upon each impact. “Discord has thought ahead. Not only has he turned all my friends into shells of their former selves, he’s also trapped me inside my own home with a force field. I can’t even teleport past it!”
“If I may be so bold,” you remark, “It seems you are currently in quite the pickle. What am I supposed to do?”
Twilight gives you a knowing smile. “Because I found a loop hole. When Discord trapped me, he said, 'This force field is so powerful, not a single living thing from Equestria could possibly get through!'”
You think on this. Finally, it hits you. “I get it!” you proclaim. “You’re going to kill me, throw me through the force field, and then resurrect me! I’m not “living”, so it doesn’t count! Brilliant!”
Twilight gives you a look, very similar to the one your mom gave you when you suggested that, if you flooded the basement with water, the family would have a new swimming pool. “Yes, that could work in theory. Or you could, I don't know, just walk out. After all, you're not “from Equestria”, are you?”
“… Am I?”
“No! Now get going! You need to return all my friends to normal so we can use the Elements of Harmony and defeat Discord!”
“So, um, how do I do that?”
Twilight lifts a sack off a nearby table and hands it to you. “Last time this happened I had to get all my friends to remember the power of our friendship. That required holding them down and pressing my horn to their heads.”
“Shut up. I've enchanted each Element with certain memories. Just get the Element around the right friend's neck, and the enchantment will do the rest. It will flood their brain with memories of all the good times we've had in the past, returning them to normal. Any questions?”
Now that you think about it…