• Member Since 5th May, 2012
  • offline last seen 8 hours ago

LotusTeaDragon


I write the pone, I read the pone, I love the pone. I also accept Paypal donations if you like my stories: https://paypal.me/lotusteadragon

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Life on the farm isn't just about chores, it's about preparing for the unexpected, accepting change, and embracing the ponies in your life who help make that change. Applejack has lived by that axiom since she was just a filly, but what do you do when, all of a sudden, the unexpected embraces you?

This is an AppleDash fic.

This is a sequel to: The Fruits of Our Labors (Book 4)

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 47 )

Eeee! A new lotusteadragon appledash story! :rainbowkiss:
Twins, eh? Somebody's been busy! :ajsmug::rainbowderp:

Yes we See the twins!

So, we've got magical lesbian children. Goodie! :pinkiecrazy:

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Thanks guys. I just couldn't leave things unfinished, and was just waiting for inspiration (or lightning) to strike, and it did. I hope you enjoy the story as we go. :ajsmug::rainbowwild:

Yay shipping babies :rainbowkiss: I love reading about them

I think my biggest complaint with this story is that you're using a dozen words to say something when three would do. Like this paragraph -

"Using her magic, she quickly removed a magnifying glass, and pair of tweezers from the saddle pack around her waist. With deft, precise movements, she successfully lifted one of the petals with the aforementioned tweezers, and held it up to the magnifying glass, the instrument enlarging the appearance and detail of her own rose colored irises, in the process."

1. Why mention the tweezers again? You've already told us she had them in the last sentence.

2. This is pretty much irrelevant. Unless there's someone else around to see the impact of the magnifying glass and comment on the way it makes her eyes look, you don't really need to tell the audience that. We know how magnifying glasses work.

You've got a nice story here, but it's buried under...fluff. Here's another one -

"Reaching back with her hoof, so that she could continue holding the sample and the magnifying glass in her magic, she grabbed her notebook and pencil"

That just seems like really awkward phrasing here. Why not just say "Reaching back with her hoof, the sample and magnifying glass held in her magic, she grabbed her notebook and pencil"?

Personally I wouldn't even have mentioned her hoof. What else would she be reaching back with?

Prose is a lovely thing, and words can be beautiful, but when you heap them on top of each other like you are here, the actual MEANING is lost.

A difference of styles here, I think, this is just my two bits and you're welcome to ignore them.

5117627 - Thank you for the comments, Llyander. Yes, the prose does seem overly florid and fluffy, but that's the point of my prologue. Once the meat of the story begins, I generally start cutting back on fluff and break it down. That said, the reason I mentioned the effect of the magnifying glass on her eyes, was to point out the color of her irises. :raritywink:

5116257 - I'm glad you approve, Stormie-squall! When I started putting the idea together for the story, I knew that no matter what, I had to include the babies, or in this case, young fillies. I realize that I've jumped ahead a number of years in the story, but this way you get to see their personalities, rather than just new foals.

Also, this story was in the "Popular Stories" column for over an hour! Not the Feature Box, but that is the closest I've ever come to reaching it!

that's cute! one is an unicorn and the other is... wait,:rainbowhuh: I didn't catch that? either way, cute and nice,:derpytongue2: I'm sure blossom is going to surprise us :raritywink: same with her sister:scootangel:

5122866 - I like to refer to Twilight's magic as "damn strong." :rainbowlaugh:

5124730 - Yep. The last book (Fruits of our labors) revealed that Applejack was carrying unicorn twins.

5125036 I need to re-read that one!:twilightblush: thanks!

5125096 - You're welcome! I went and re-titled this one with a #7 at the end, so that people can connect it with the previous series of stories dedicated to AppleDash.

So, I'm guessing we won't get to see a continuation of this?

5171984 - This never showed up in my notification, so sorry for the late reply! I agree, I can get flowery, but it's more a perspective choice. I do it for moments where either the character is imagining an ideal situation, or I am entering/leaving a dreamlike state. In the world of pony, we're entering a dreamlike state, so the openings are flowery, and flowing. I am glad you enjoy it, though! Also, don't feel bad about excessive verbiage. Why use one sentence when a dozen will do? :twilightsheepish:


5648010 - The story is going to continue, I promise. I apologize for the long delays, but life right now has become very busy, and it is taking most of my mental and emotional resources; ones I can't devote to my story, and I don't want to half-*yay* a story just to get it out there. For what it's worth, I do work on chapters in little bits and pieces when inspiration strikes, so even though there are no new chapters as of yet, the story does stay on my mind, and I am making baby steps in progress.

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I know that feel, bro. Good luck.

Sorry for the long delay in getting the ball rolling! Chapter One is up.

6031760 - Indeed it is, my friend, and I am very sorry about the long delay.

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ITS HERE i cant describe the excitement i felt when i got the email that this had come out!
Zephyr is quite an interesting name! I use it for my characters in my personal writings, and i must ask how you came up with it? I loved reading this and felt so much nostalgia wash over me! Thanks Lotus, youre awesome Cx :pinkiehappy:

6036399 - Aw, thank you, Master Soracles! I chose Zephyr because firstly, it's a favorite word of mine as well, and secondly, the meaning behind it: a zephyr is a light breeze that caresses, refreshes, and induces a sense of peace and serenity, but at the same time it moves so much.

6280912 Huzzah! :rainbowkiss:

Oh dear. Daredevils and engineering eggheads?

6281158 - Very much so! Keep in mind, thanks to Twilight they have some of her tendencies (and smarts), while also exhibiting classic traits from their mothers, mainly stubbornness and a willingness to dive headfirst into trouble. :rainbowwild:

I do agree Llyander... I'm usually really hooked on your works even when you do get "flowery" but this one just didn't hook me... :fluttershysad: BUT!!! I am reading on in hopes of getting rehooked! :pinkiehappy:

6372366 - Hopefully the later chapters will gain your interest! :twilightsmile:

6372383 I did like this one :scootangel: can't wait for more!! Oh and as soon as I can get my scanner working and get them uploaded I'll show you those pics I've drawn (mostly the main six drawn as actual horses with a few pony traits)

6373081 - I loved the picture, Spitdash! If you want, you can post it here so others can see it, too!

Well, everyone, the next chapter is out. I hope you like it!

Story is wrapped up. If you have any comments, or complaints, I'm listening.

What to say, what to say...
I won't lie - I'm sad. I loved your storyline, the whole series. It was... heartwarming. And yes, as you already mentioned - there's a lot left unexplained/undiscovered/unexplored. I'm always a sucker for more if 'more' includes 'more of the awesome stuff'.
But, then again, I completely understand and respect your reasons for finishing things up like you did - and as much as I'm sad, I'm also glad you didn't just cancel it.

So thank you. For the last time in this storyline. For all your effort and time, for every smile you caused. :twilightsmile:

6962164 - You're so sweet. Thank you for that. I really do wish I had possessed the energy and fortitude to really complete the story. There were so many things I wanted to do. *sigh* Still, your comment makes my day, and I am so happy to count you among my longtime readers, Mermerus. *hugs*

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You didn't thought you could get rid of me just that easily, did you? :twilightsmile:
Let me tell you:

Nopony get's away... I'll always be watching. Waiting. Lurking. :pinkiecrazy:
...
Foreveeeeeer!

Okay, funny creep-time's over. You're awesome!
Have a nice day. :pinkiehappy:

6963248 - That is adorably creepy, thank you. :rainbowlaugh:

Aye, it's been a long and fulfilling journey, but here we are. End of the road.

I can say now that I'm genuinely glad I found this series. More so for sticking around till the end. If there's something I value more than anything else in an author, it's growth, and I was pleased to see a great deal of it in this series. In ten days, it'll be exactly five years since the series started with Of Clouds, Seeds and Apple Trees. Maybe it wasn't even planned to be a series. Maybe. But it was the beggining of something great.

In retrospective, Of Clouds, Seeds and Apple Trees had its fair share of flaws. For starters, the grammar was suboptimal, as I'm sure you are well aware of already. On a personal note now, the Appledashery could have used a little more build-up, and the whole story feels a bit overambitious: the TwiLuna felt somewhat shallow and not too well crafted, and could have probably waited until a later point in the series (I'm specificaly thinking it would have made for a great plot if it developed in book 3, Orange and Blue, I Do, instead); the hinted SweetieBloom and FlutterMac (although I think that one appears at a later point) had potential, but stayed at that: hints. I couldn't help but feel slightly disappointed.

The second book, Saddlebags, Sun, and On The Run, already saw a huge development, mostly regarding grammar. Book 3, Orange and Blue, I Do, was for me the peak in the series. It followed the upward trend initiated in the second book and the Christmas one-shot, with a now more than decent writing style. What made it the best book of the series in my eyes, though, was the fact that it sported two of the best virtues of the series: Violet Tempest and a simple plot.

What do I mean by that? For one, Violet Tempest is a bucking great OC (excuse the language). Very well crafted, I love her. As for the plot, it may sound strange, but sometimes a simple plot is the best blessing a story could hope for. It merges wonderfully with the overall cuteness and innocence from your stories, and never failed to bring a smile to my face. If only some other authors realized there's beauty in simplicity too...

There's not much to say about books 4 and 5. Grammar and style remained on a good-enough level after book 3, so no concerns there. I wished they had been longer tho; like all of your readers, I'm sure. But alas, real life comes first, and I'm deeply grateful for your efforts to at least bring some closure to the series. Although I missed Violet :(

To wrap up, I'd like to address why I've only left a comment here and not one on every book. In short, growth is what I look for in an author, and since this is a series and the first books were written so long ago, it only feels right to judge them all in context after I'm done with the series. That said, I can't stress it enough: I'm positively thrilled I found this series. Reading it was a pleasure, and it always helped me lighten my mood. Thank you kindly for writing it.

Have a wonderful day. :twilightsmile:

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Oh wow, thank you for the detailed feedback! I'm glad you noticed the writing improvement. I tried to get better each time. I know it seems highly suspect, but I was once an advanced language arts major, but that fell apart once I stopped using those skills for well over a decade. One gets quite rusty when skills fall into a state of disrepair.

I'm glad you enjoyed "Orange and Blue," because that was one of my favorites to write. "Saddlebags" was the most fun, but "Orange and Blue" is the one I'm most proud of. Violet Tempest is the OC I always wanted to have, to act as an unbiased (but clearly unique) point of view for all of the characters to bounce off of, and to react against. I think she served her purpose well.

For what it's worth, I have not ruled out a Violet Tempest solo story, I just haven't had the time to sit down and work it out. I don't want to raise false hopes, as I've had plans to do this kind of thing before, but it is a goal of mine. Contrary to what folks may think after so long away, I have no intentions of stopping when it comes to writing more stories.

Thank you for the wonderful feedback, LonelyLullaby! :ajsmug::rainbowwild:

Reading this now (Or any time after the episode Flutter Brutter) is funny, after the introduction of Fluttershy's younger brother, Zephyr. Who is convinced that Dash is in love with him. Which means that it's probably one of the last names Dash would ever use for her kids, in canon. (If such a thing were ever to happen in canon, that is.) I actually thought Zephyr was a colt, during the prologue, because of that.

Just curious, did that ever make you want to change the name or anything like that?

9423808 - Nah. I mean, it did pass through my mind when I saw "Flutter Brutter," but I figured everyone knows Dash's primo squeeze is Applejack. Of course, if you want to look at it a bit more darkly, sometimes children are named after friends or family who have passed on due to some tragic accident, but that's up to you to fill in if you like. :raritywink:

The second half of this chapter reminded me a lot of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. It was one of my favorite movies when I was a kid. Now I kinda want to watch it again. Maybe tomorrow.

Rust red coat and blond mane? Except for the eye color, that sounds so much like Big Mac, that's who I thought it was at first. A little disappointed it wasn't, though. And he's way too old to be Mac's son, too. A shame, that.

6373081 - I haven't heard from you in a while, Spitdash57. If you see this, drop me a message!

9423843 - Thank you, avidreader, I consider that a high compliment! I'm a big fan of the Indiana Jones films, too. Last Crusade is my favorite of the series. I think I'll go watch it, too. :D

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Hey LotusTeaDragon!! I've been crazy busy and haven't been on! thanks for checking up on me, it means more than you realize

9443487 - It is always good to see you around. :) *hugs*

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