• Member Since 30th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Nov 12th, 2019

Vulpix


E
Source

When an elderly Twilight Sparkle investigates a used copy of the King James Bible, she discovers the shocking truth about Equestria and its ancient origins.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 107 )

I appreciate all feedback.

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And now i'm sitting here GRINNING like a madman. WTF was that?!

Btw. Give me next chapter.

When real life religion is involved especially about humans; the story is ruined and so is the rest of your series if u continue on. They have a God or goddess there already. It needs notl other retarded ones.

Other differences ... their God is real and ours is just imaginary.

I hope you won't be offended... overmuch, but I feel the need to submit this to FSTDT. Or at least the forums. There are no words for the hilarity that has come out of this. And the face-hoofing. Oh the face-hoofing.

What even.

it's not written badly, but it kinda is. uhm, i mean ...

the actual story content is, uhm, ok. i guess. no worse than most everything else i've read. the conversations are a bit long and dull and the fact it's mainly Twilight reading someone else's notes makes it a bit 'tell not show.' but spouting bible verses as you write just makes it sound like you're preaching. also, why would Twilight take the bible at face value? i'm guessing that it's because she put so much faith in the Mare in the Moon story but from her and Spike's reaction, that's a story that's well known to ponies. this seems like a completely unknown book to Twilight. why would she place so much value on a book that uses itself to justify itself?

this just seems like so much preaching to me. i'm sorry ...

Okay, I'm sorry, but trying to blend together real life religion and ponies, goddamn ponies, is like trying to mix together Doctor Who and Pokemon. It just doesn't work, and I doubt that you'll get the dramatic reaction that you're expecting. Truth be told, when I found out that Celestia is the antichrist I did this;

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I mean, I'm not even a Christian and I was slightly offended by this. :rainbowderp: That's a pretty impressive feat.

Edit; Actually, it seems like you put a shitload of research into this. As much as I applaud you for that, I think you might want to try applying your new found knowledge into something... not ponies... you know?

484233
Why does the concept of a Pokemon and Doctor Who fan fic intrigue me now? :trixieshiftright:

I'm a christian and what is this?

484247
Turn the TARDIS into a steel type and have it learn teleport.
My God that would be so badass. If you ever write it then please link me. :pinkiehappy:

Lolololol
Oh God
As a Christian I found this hilarious don't know why so many people are getting angry

I kinda zoned out when Luna started giving the instructions. Also, being relatively agnostic, I'm not sure how much of your Bible-referencing was true, and how much of it was not, so I can't like or hate those parts. Its an interesting concept, don't get me wrong, but it's so riddled with exposition and little in the ways of STORY events, there's little to be said about it. I gotta thumbs-down this one, sorry. Real-world religion and ponies just do not mix well, sorry. :fluttershysad:

~Cleff

I'm just sad that Religion was bought in this. and I was lost.

This sort of thing (ponies + religion with evil Celestia) has been attempted before. I can only hope that some day the Fanfic Theater 3000 guys do a pull-apart of your story like they did for the aforementioned fic, which (at least superficially) looks far better-written than Prayer Ponies and easier to take seriously (excluding the whole Celestia = Antichrist thing, and Jesus having temporarily died 3 days for ponykind as well as humanity), thus making the process more amusing.

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I laughed so hard I almost fell out of my chair when Luna said 'Faust'.

This description made me laugh so hard. I was howling. And the picture. 10/10. Bravo. ten-thousand bravos!

Edit: I just finished reading the whole thing. Poe's Law par excellence. The american evangelical-typical interpretations of various biblical passages suggest that this may, in fact, be an authentic story and not a TJ.

It's like Harry Potter turns to the Lord, even more boring somehow.

Bring religion into ANYTHING, and no matter how good it is, you'll still be scorned and hated.

I enjoyed this, actually, because it made sense, and I believe it should have a better score....

484326
Thank you so much for linking that travesty. I had no idea such... beauty existed in our fandom. :moustache:

Hmm...*Speechless* :rainbowhuh:

Not badly written. But this is odd, very odd.

H'ok. I love this. I don't, as is, like it, but I love it, because of what it could be. Honestly, if I could have one wish, it would be that you take this down, and rewrite it as an epic, because the story you just proposed deserves to be told that way. I look at this and I see Raiders of the Lost Ark gone prophesaic, or the Book of Eli set 2000 years ago, and 1000 years into the future. I simply love the concept, I just think that it reads like something you would give to an editor and say "this is my idea, I want to write a novel, give me an advance."

Please consider doing this, if you think you're up to it. It would be controversial, no matter what you do; handled correctly though, it could be one hell of an adventure. Good luck.

Best,
lesserpoet.

484240 With Celestia as Antichrist?

Lolwhat?

This was just... well pretty awful. You're connections are tenuous at best and the whole idea is just really silly. Hmmm, just had a thought that maybe this was intended to parody the Bible by being completely and utterly ridiculous, if that's the case (which I doubt it is) then it should have been more obvious.

My advice: pick a better topic next time.

Obviously, you've put a lot research into this; I can respect that. However, you story style is if anything rushed. You could have split this into three or four chapters or so and given each new idea some time to sink in, rather than barreling forward with one reveal after another.

Utterly horrid. The same thinly veiled self-loathing-as-virtue claptrap as usual for this sort of thing.
Character reactions and interactions were not believable, canon characters were out of character - several times ridiculously so.

Didn't the author of this fic try and send out a message out to all of the clop-writers to stop writing clop-fics? I'm pretty sure it was someone with a similar name. :rainbowderp:

And I see so many of you so follow love and tolerance...until it's easily discarded because you don't care for something. How sad, how sad.

I'll be honest. I didn't care for the story, but it has nothing to do with religion (for the record, why, yes, I am a practicing Catholic, kthx.) I didn't feel the story stood on its own merits. It would't have mattered if Twilight picked up the Torah, the Koran, the Kojiki or any other one. There are great and wonderful ways to tie in religion into this world. Vulpix clearly did not do it. That's the need of a pre-reader or an editor, not to be silenced and shut up just because you disagree with the writer's beliefs.

484456
Totally agree, the story was rushed. This could easily be fleshed out into two or three chapters (or more) if done properly.

Vulpix,
Strongly recommend you rewrite this. Check with some other writers, and write what you must - but do it without rushing. :twilightsmile:

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Equestria is a constructed fictional world. Crossing over religion into it is just poor form. Not to mention that the writing alone here makes it pretty clear this is either a trollfic or someone earnestly trying to write something controversial for attention.

In other words : :facehoof:

I totally lost it when it was revealed that Spike was Satan. Really? :rainbowlaugh:

Well. You gave me a reason to read the bible. I'm gunna have to say. I was pretty interested. Practically hooked. There was a bit of continuity going on. That's practically all I can say.

I'm christian,and wondering WHAT made you think of writing this. Not saying it's shit but,using a bible?!

Chiliasm (condemned: 1st Council of Constantinople)
Docetism (variants condemned: 2nd Universal Epistle of John, Ignatius to the Smyrnaeans, Irenaeus's Adversus Haereses, Ecumenical Councils 3-7, etc.)
Pseudo-Origenism (condemned: addendum to the 2nd Council of Constantinople)

I personally think this is great, and well written and researched. "Offended" parties: if you don't want religion in your ponies, don't read this, same as avoiding stories with other content you don't appreciate. Great job with this.

So I take it you're a Luna fan then. This works wonderfully with Trollestia being the bad guy. I was hoping you would mention something about Trollestia offering the 'forbidden fruit' to ponies ("Do you like mmmbananas?").

Honestly, I don't know what people are getting their panties in a bunch about. This was well researched and your writing level is fairly competent. It's an original take on Equestrian society, and was interesting throughout. The only reason you're getting so many down votes is because the online community has people who will automatically hate anything that even goes near religion.

Weren't we supposed to be all about "love and tolerance" and "harmonious friendship"? No one was forcing ANYONE to read this.

Heh. I bet you're offending both Christians and non-Christians with this one, hence the downthumbs. But although it's completely ridiculous, I have to admire the way you managed to find so many connections and weave them together like this.

484828

Or it could be getting negative responses because it tries to shoehorn in out-of-context real-world religion on a fictional world with it's own setting.

484871

The point is this author is taking chances and doing something different, and it didn't turn out terrible. More authors need to know that they can do that. If you don't like religion in the fiction you read, then ... well, wasn't it pretty obvious what this story was going to be from the picture and description and title? Did anyone force you to read it? Seems that you MAY have come here to bash on the author and anyone who says they liked it.

I.. I don't even...
Discord is villian enough. They dont need Jehova too.

But... No, never mind, too many things to say 'but' about here. I'll focus on the bigger issues:

This kind of crossover is really uncomfortable for a lot of people, partly because of the potential for giving offense. Others have said that this feels rushed, and that is true. It also feels like you were reaching for something that just doesn't really come together. In order to try to make it work, you've written in that every action taken by certain characters has been deception. Come on, Spike is evil? He's not the only dragon in Equestria, and you could have used another. Also, there seems to be no reasonable explanation for Celestia giving this book to Twilight, nor selling it in a 'yard sale', nor sending Luna to collect Twilight's body and thus discover her 'true identity' in the alternate future she mentions. You need to consider the motivations of characters - especially villains - in a story and be very careful that every action has a reason behind it.

Sorry if this seems negative. I really am trying to be constructive in my criticism, but I'm a little upset by the subject matter and not at my best.

This is very intriguing. I was actually looking up some of the verses. It is evident that A LOT of thought was put into this and I'm blown away with all the connections you made with the prophecies and such. I agree it felt a little rushed and it could have been made into another chapter or two, but other than that it was a good read. It's a very interesting and thought-provoking story.

I had no problem with this fic at all. I thought it was an intriguing concept even.
I am disappointed at how much hate oozes from some individuals in this community, against things they don't like.
People are expected to tolerate clop fics, and are haters if they complain,
yet it's considered shoving religion in their face if a writer writes something like this???

That's a bit one sided... Isn't it? :facehoof:

To each one of you complaining about religion being used in a story...
Did the writer force you to open and read this, or did you click on this yourself?

The author has every right to construct the story with a religious perspective.
It's even OK if it's a little preachy. Maybe someone will actually take that to heart.
With all the hate here...
It sure seems like that would be a good thing. :twilightsmile:

I would not be offended at all if you expanded this concept to cover other time periods,
and flesh out your version of the apocalypse and it's surrounding events.

484954

I think you're making a very common mistake in fanfiction and confusing novelty with quality, especially when the novelty is at the cost of fictionalizing something that is a part of a large number of people's honest beliefs. If this were a crossover with some random anime pointing out how the two storylines can fit together well, then it wouldn't have nearly the potential for offense.

Combine it with, as chronicLurker points out, a plot that requires nearly all of the background authority figures in canon and several of the recurring cast to be acting entirely out of character, and it just isn't good fiction.

I'm a Christian, and a big Spike fan....


......


.....

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It's a great story and all, but the twist really got to me.

Sorry, Vulpix.

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