• Member Since 10th Oct, 2012
  • offline last seen Jul 26th, 2022

BlackSkulls


Hello! I'm just here to mainly read stories and favorite them, but occasionally I do write.

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Source

Sweetie Belle finally got what she wanted; to spend time with her sister Rarity. After the exciting--and exhausting--events of the Sisterhooves Social, Rarity takes her little sister somewhere to have a little chat with her.


Set right after the main conflict of Sisterhooves Social, but right before the letter.
Cover art belongs to d-ar, and is used with permission.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 10 )

Gorgeous story.
I love the analogy, I really have to use that with my little sister (ok she's not my blood sister but she's half my age and we hang out so much that she may as well be my little sister.) The story had just enough detail, I felt like you were slowly coaxing me into a glorious world that I didn't want to leave.
Ten out of ten, liked faved and followed.
:raritystarry::raritystarry::raritystarry::raritystarry::raritystarry::raritystarry::raritystarry::raritystarry::raritystarry::raritystarry:

Beautifully written! :raritystarry: I just love the sweet, slice of life sisterly bonding moment. Rarity's message about the flowers was so in character! One of the best slice of life bits I've read in ages. Simple, yet conveyed so much emotion. Thanks for posting! :pinkiehappy:

A few typos here and there, but it's a cute story. :pinkiesmile:

5117698

Ah, the problem one has when one's editor is busy...

Would you mind pointing out where?

5117714
Hope this helps.

It was the time of day where

Better to use "when".

Much pretty than Miss Lily, Miss Daisy, and Miss Rose's flowers!

I think you meant "much prettier" or "much more pretty", one of the two.

Sweetie forced her hooves to the ground and skid for a moment

It should be "skidded", of course, plus you seem to have some extra spacing in the sentence.

as she little filly sat down

Typed "she" instead of "the" there...

For a moments

This could go a couple of ways: "for a moment" or "for a few moments".

Let's say that this daisy represent our bond, and out memories.

You missed the S on "represents", and since the T is next to the R on standard keyboards, that probably explains what happened with "our memories".

they weren't tied tight enough that they break

You want "broke" here, but you don't know how much I appreciate seeing "loose" used properly. Seems to be a rarity online these days. (No pun intended.)

then to her holder sister

I do that sometimes, too; I wanna type one thing, but my fingers want something else...

even had a few weaved into their tails and manes

This is one you might want to look up, 'cause I'm not sure about it. I think it should be "woven", but I could be wrong.

5117756

It does, thank you so much! I'll correct them when I get home from class. :twilightsmile:

Found a couple more...

She hook her head

Probably "shook", am I right?

A she spoke, the tied the stems of the flowers

"As she spoke, she tied the stems..."

5121869

Haha, shows how much I need my editor right? :twilightsheepish: Thank you again

Glerk! *Is the sound of someone's blood being transmuted into sugar.*:twilightoops:

:unsuresweetie: "Think we should save him?"

:duck: "Probably."

Wow. This takes me back to a simpler, happier time. The analogy is fantastic, the whole sisterly love atmosphere is adorable. :heart:

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