• Published 2nd Oct 2014
  • 2,278 Views, 160 Comments

No Game No Life - Spirit Shift



Princess Luna's bored with the video games she's played, so what does she do? She kidnaps ponies and dumps them into a video game of her own design. Can these ponies survive the terror of a bored Princess?

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Let The Games Begin

<WHAT THE HELL?>

<Who is this freak?>

<Take her down>

<MOOOOOOOOOOOM!>

<Hacks! I call hacks!>

<How can she be hacking? The game JUST came out!>

<Damn… I’m glad that she’s on my team.>

<Yeah! I don’t gotta do nothin’ with this dude around.>

Luna sat back and sipped on her soda as she watched the last of the enemy’s titans blow to smithereens. She listened as her entire team began cheering in victory despite not really doing anything. She also listened as the enemy team, as usual, all either rage quit or spat out nonstop insults. Not even original ones either. Just the usual accusations of cheating and bots. Luna shook her head sadly.

“Noobs,” she sighed. “New game, same players.” Luna decided to switch game modes. Leaving “the last titan standing” lobby, she joined one that said “attrition”. “Perhaps this mode will be better.”

~Several minutes later~

<Retreat to the ship!>

<Somepony stop her! She’s headed for the ship!>

<Calm down! As long as it’s just her she can’t—>

<SHE TOOK DOWN THE SHIP!>

<WHAT THE BUCK?>

<WHO THE HELL IS NOCT3RNAL?>

“Second verse, same as the first, as the saying goes.” Luna lowered her head and sighed. “Or rather, fifth verse. I’ve played every game mode this game has to offer and yet none have managed to entertain me.”

Quitting the game, Luna sat back in her easy chair and made casual slurping sounds with her near-empty soda cup. Looking around, she examined her custom game room. A private section of the castle, home to three large flat screen HDTVs, several chairs, and just about every game system to date. One section of the large room was completely devoted to first person shooter games. Every Battlefield, Colt of Duty, Halo, Maretroid, or Doom game sat on a pedestal, as they were part of her favorite game genre. Next to them sat a life size standee of Master Chief standing tall near her standee of Samus Aran.

“Still can’t believe he was a colt in disguise,” she muttered. Turning, she looked in the opposite direction. On the other side of her marecave sat every other game she held an interest in. Games like Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Princess of War, Tirek May Cry, or The Tails Series. Luna chuckled when she realized that those games alone covered almost half of the eastern section of her room. It’s just as well, If she had an interest in one game she would end up with the entire series. She assumed that it just good consumerism.

Luna looked at her games with a curious eye. “I wonder if I beat all the secret bosses in the seventh Final Fantasy yet.”

“Oh you know you have, Lulu.” Spinning around in her chair, she noticed that Discord was in the corner playing Solitaire.

Without taking his eyes off the game he continued. “You’ve also beaten all of the Organization members, transformed all the worlds into peons, and even upgraded every weapon to max. I was there when you beat dear Twily in Science the Gathering.” He sighed in nostalgia. “Oh, how she freaked out that day.”

“Discord! I told you to knock first…” she hesitated for a second. “but, um, since you’re here… would you like to play a game with me?”

Discord looked at her, smirking. “Oh Lulu, you know that I don’t use those virtual contraptions. My entire life is one big video game. As you can see.” Discord gestured to his playing cards. Whenever he sat one down in the wrong place the image on the card would come out and battle another image to secure it’s rightful place in the set. Needless to say, his entire area was one big war. Hearts, Spades, Kings, Queens, and even the Jokers were battling it out.

Luna lowed her head, dejected. “Yeah, I know.”

Discord looked up and teleported himself so that he sat wrapped around Luna’s chair. “Now, now. Don’t looks so glumpy. Tell uncle Dissy what’s wrong,” he said, staring at her with caring eyes.

Luna sent half a glare at him before relenting. “I just--”

“Oh, hold that thought!” Snapping his paw Luna’s easy chair turned into a lounging couch while he himself sat in a beanbag chair with smarty glasses and a notepad. “Okay, go!”

“Umm, well I--” Discord held up a claw, interrupting her.

“One sec!” Discord materialized a fez on his head and a bubble pipe in his mouth.

Luna deadpanned. “Really?” Discord merely motioned for her to continue. Rolling her eyes, Luna did so. “As I was saying… I can’t seem to find any more enjoyment in the games I play. I used to relish in the destruction of noobs, and laugh at their insults and accusations.” She sighed heavily. “But now…”

Discord wrote something down. “I see. When do you think you started to feel this way?”

“Hmm." Luna thought for a moment before continuing. "I guess It would probably be a few weeks ago when I was playing the fourteenth Final Fantasy game; the second online one. I was--”

Discord lowered his pen and looked at her with excited eyes. “Ohhh! Are you about to have a flashback?”

“I... I suppose so,” she replied.

“Excellent!" Discord began rubbing his hands together. "I saw somepony doing this a while ago and I’ve been wanting to try it.”

Luna raised an eyebrow. “Try what, pray tell?”

Discord raised his arms and began wiggling them around in circles in front of him. He made a strange warbling noise with his mouth.

“What in Equestria are you--” Luna stopped when her vision began to swim. Like an ocean, everything she saw wiggled and moved. She began to feel nauseous until it finally stopped.

I am not sure what that accomplished.

Don’t worry about it. Keep going.

All right. I had been playing the game for some time already. I had just unlocked the dragoon class after spending some time getting two other jobs to level 30. But afterwards, I just didn't know what to do. I know that there are other classes to unlock, and more jobs to level. However, I just couldn't summon up the motivation to do either. It was almost as if I suddenly lost interest in the game.

Luna’s vision began to swim once more for a few more seconds.

“Stop that, Discord!”

Discord wrote more things down. “Well that was a bust, won’t be doing that again,” he muttered. “Continue.”

Luna stared at him but continued nonetheless. “Anyway, I joined a party thinking that I was just bored of soloing. I ended up leaving the party after thirty minutes. I felt that a break was in order so I left to attend to my royal duties.”

Discord nodded in understanding. “Eating cake and seducing guards. I know. After that?”

Luna sent him a irritated glare. “That’s my sister. I actually do things when I’m on duty.”

“Didn't see you when we had that bug infestation,” he smirked.

“Halo 3 had literally just came out at the time!” Luna yelled.

Discord smirked. “Good, It seems that you haven't lost your passion at least.”

Luna’s eyes widened as she realized what just happened. “Wait, how did you even know about that? You weren't there.”

A piece of parchment appeared in Discord’s claw. “Sunbutt isn't the only one who likes to exchange letters.” He dropped the paper and it fell into the ground. “So, you’ve lost interest in single players, how about multi?”

Luna lowered her gaze sadly. “Well, like I said, partying with others I found boring as well. After returning from my duties--”

“Hope you remembered to wipe,” he snickered.

Luna continued, ignoring him for the sake of her own stress levels. “I turned on Colt of Duty, the newest one. Once again, I got bored halfway. I couldn't even take joy in the rage quitting of others. Tell me, Discord, and be serious, just for a second… Am I getting bored of video games?”

Just as Discord opened his mouth to reply in his typical snarky fashion, only for an image of a frowning Fluttershy to appear in his head, urging him not to. Frowning himself, he threw his notebook filled with snarky and witty remarks away, and spoke truthfully. “It seems to me that you’ve simply lost your competitive spirit.”

Luna lifted her gaze and gave him a shocked look. “What do you mean?”

Discord sighed and took his glasses off to clean them. “Luna, when was the last time you got together with a few friends and competed against them.”

Luna hung her head in shame. “I tried that a few days ago. It was fun, but in the end I still had to pretend that I wasn't getting a little bored.”

Discord stroked his beard thoughtfully. “I see… Did you defeat them?"

Luna lifted her gaze slightly. "Of course."

Discord threw his arms up in discovery. "Well then. Therein lies your problem, Luna. You can no longer derive any enjoyment from defeating those that pose no threat to you."

It took Luna a few seconds to translate what Discord had said. But when she did she gasped in shock. "Are you saying that I'm… too good of a player?"

Discord rang a small bell that make chicken noises. "Correctamundo!"

Even though Luna was now aware of what her problem, the mere idea of her being too good still sounded foreign to her. "I must ask; how can being too skilled cause me to lose my passion for the thrill of competition?" she asked.

"Well let me ask you a question." Discord leaned back and smirked. "Have you ever watched another group of ponies compete against each other?”

Luna lifted her head back up, then tilted it in confusion. “Like a game show?”

He shook his head. “No, it’s the same as playing with your own friends here in Colt of Duty. Except you aren't playing with them. You watch them play and watch them try to outdo each other.”

Luna went from confusion to outright shock. “Why would I not participate in the group’s merriment?”

Discord leaned back into his beanie chair and blew a few bubbles from his pipe. “Whenever I find myself bored of playing games with others, I tend create games for others to play. I enjoy watching them complete the challenges I set. I believe that somepony even made a game of it, Dragons and Caves or something. Anyway, the point being, is that I suggest that you go about doing just that. Rediscover your joy of competition through another’s eyes.”

Luna sat up straight in her chair. “Alright, I shall gather my friends. I hope that they aren't too busy.” Now that she knew how to fix her problem, she couldn't fathom waiting any longer the way she was.

Discord shook his head. “Moony, Moony, Moony. Must you be so dull?”

“What!? How darest thou calleth me--” Discord appeared in front of her and pinched her lips together.

“Allow me to make a suggestion,” he moved closer, still pinching her lips shut, and whispered into Luna’s ear. Her expression remained angry at first but soon morphed into one of curiosity. Then finally, into one of excitement. She had a full blown smile on her face by the time Discord released her.

Luna looked up to him with glittering eyes. “I agree wholeheartedly. You will assist me, correct?”

Discord mock sighed. “If that is your will, than it shall be done, my princess.” He looked to her with a mischievous smirk, which she returned in kind.

“Then let the games begin!” she cheered.

Author's Note:

Welcome to another tale wrenched from my sick, twisted mind. This one comes from the side of me that's beaten an untold number of video games. I hope you enjoy. Leave comments and opinions below, and don't be afraid to point out any typos or errors.