Where did I go wrong? the black creature asked itself.
I had all of Canterlot in my hoof and yet, I still lost.
Chrysalis continued lay in the spot she had landed a little over an hour ago. She continued to replay the event in her mind over and over again. She had captured and trapped that foal Cadence with almost no effort. That foal Shinning Armor hadn't had any doubts she was the real Cadence, everything was going perfect. But those damn mares had to ruin everything. She had done everything she could to stop that wretched stallion Shinning Armor from inviting those mares but yet some part of him was able to resist. If they had never shown up, no creature would have ever found that pampered princess and my people would be feasting.
"Damn them!" she shrieked at the sky, gaining a small amount of joy as birds scattered in fear. However a sudden realization dawned on her and crushed that small piece of joy. That witch of a princess would send her guards out to hunt her and the rest of her children down.
If I stay here I'm a sitting duck Chrysalis craned her head up and began to survey her surrounding Trees, Trees, Rock, Trees A dark forest was all that surrounded her. Staring back up at the sky through the hole she had torn through the tree Canopy the rays of sun shining through the hole as if to mock her.
They won't find me she told herself by the time they get here I'll be long gone and once they've let their guard down, I'll strike again
"Search the area!" Came the sudden echoing shouts from somewhere above the forest. "The local guards said they saw a large black object crash somewhere in this forest, spread out and start looking."
A jolt of sudden fear shot through her body How did they get here so fast? No, I can't think about that I need to get out of here
Chrysalis was able to climb to her feet with surprisingly little effort. However it was only after she tried to walk when she discovered the full extent of her injuries. She dropped back to the ground as a sudden jolt of intense pain flooded her senses. It was only then that she noticed the steady trickle of blood that now ran down her front leg.
"Damn, I guess I wasn't as lucky as I thought" she said aloud, grimacing at the pain.
"Okay, okay, we've got this, we've been through. worse All we have to do is get out this forest and then we can just fly away. There is no way those foalish ponies can keep up with me." Chrysalis continued to speak aloud, doing her best to motivate herself without giving away her position.
Once again, she began pulling herself up and once again she fell.
"Damn it" she swore, "If I don't get out of here now, this will be nothing compared to what that foul Princess will do to me."
Chrysalis began to run through her options in her mind. Flying out of the forest was out of the question. The canopy that hid her was far too thick, and any attempt to break through it would draw to much attention. Using her magic was out of the question. Everything had been drained when her spell was broken leaving her with just enough to move small objects. However, that gave Chrysalis a genius idea.
Focusing all of her remaining magic on her wound, would allow her the ability to move on hoof for as long as the spell lasted.
Okay, at best I've got fifteen minutes before that wound opens back up and I'm done for.
Once again Chrysalis climbed back to her hooves. However this time she let out a small laugh of victory, the pain that had previously struck her down was nothing but a memory.
"Did anyone else hear maniacal laughter?" came a voice from above the trees
Crap
Chrysalis took little more than a second to decide on which direction she wished to run in; the one furthest away from the voices. As she continued to run, she couldn't help but feel as if something or someone was watching her. However, she did her best to shake the feeling and keep on pushing forward.
Though the path she ran was dark, she was certain she was heading in the right direction to escape this foul forest, or so she hoped. Through some spout of sheer luck she managed to stumble upon an old trail.
Almost out, she told herself, a small smile forming on her lips.
Up ahead she could see a fork in the road quickly approaching
Left or Right? she asked herself quickly deciding to continue down the left path. However she quickly decided against it as she noticed a large manticore sleeping in the middle of it.
Really now? How could I have not seen that?
Making her way down the right path, she began to experience true joy as the forest began to grow brighter, the exit right ahead. However it seemed that the fates had not smiled on her in this moment as her spell began to fail, the held back blood beginning to flow once again.
Sudden searing pain shot through her body, quickly knocking her out as her body did everything it could to stop the bleeding. There she lay just out of the searching guard’s sights, but slowly bleeding out.
Though the fates did not smile on her, they had not forsaken her. Off in the distance a Grey googly eyed mare trotted happily down the path on the way back to her home, a wagon full of food trailing behind her.
Ditzy Doo hummed happily to herself as she trotted down the stone path, the sun beginning to set off in the distance giving off enough light to allow the mare to find her way. Once again some luck shined on the Changeling Queen as ray of light reflected of her horn catching the eye of the curious mare.
Ditzy cautiously crept over to the source of sparkles, expecting to see little more than a lost bit or a tin can; she was stunned to find what appeared to be a large black pony.
"Are you alright?" Ditzy asked, poking at the creature in front of her.
"Hey Mis...... Mr, hey pony thing! Are you okay?" Poking it again
Worry crept onto Ditzy's face as she noticed the trickle of blood running down the creature’s leg.
"Don't worry, my bestest friend Carrot will be able to help you."
After a few minutes Ditzy had moved all the food out of her wagon and instead rolled the new found pony into it. Though she didn't fit quite properly, it would have to work. Before trotting off Ditzy turned back to her food now lying in the grass
"Muffins, you're in charge ‘til I get back make sure the apple doesn’t do anything stupid." With a wave Ditzy began her trek back home new found friend in tow. Completely oblivious to the fact that in the shadows stood three stallions clad in golden armor with hovering spears at their sides. Behind them stood a much larger pony that any creature could recognize as the ruler of Equestria, Princess Celestia.
"Your Highness, shall we apprehend the fugitive?" The middle guard asked, raising his spear.
Celestia let out a soft chuckle. "No Brass, I believe she is already in perfect care. Tell the rest of the guards to return to the castle. I don't believe she'll be a threat to anypony much longer."
"What about you my princess?"
"I'll remain here; I would like to see how these events unfold."
The three guards turned around and began their march back to the castle. However they were quickly halted as a large bag of bits descended in front of them.
"What are these for, Princess?"
Celestia's grin slipped into a slight frown "Make sure these make their way to Nightmare, tell her she was right." she finished dropping the bag reluctantly.
"If you don't mind me asking, right about what?"
Celestia let out a small sigh. "Apparently Manticore can solve most problems." With that she trotted off, determined not to lose sight of the grey Pegasus.
Chrysalis let out a small groan. To her surprise she wasn't dead, just in horrible, horrible pain. She feared to open her eyes for she knew that by now she must have been captured and was most likely in a dungeon on the moon. However between the small bursts of pain she could feel something soft below her. Determined to find out where she was, she let her eyes slowly drift open as light flooded her view. After several seconds the world had begun to form into solid shapes. However in front of her still stood a grey blob.
"Hi! My names Dinky Doo!"
"Aaahh" Chrysalis shrieked as she fell of the bed, whacking her head in the process and almost knocking herself back out.
"Moooooom!" shouted the grey filly
"What?" came the returned shouts
"I think I killed our guest! Sorry!"
Chrysalis groaned "What fresh hell is this?"
{Author Note} A big thank you to RidiculousPony who sent me an edited version, which allowed me to fix many mistakes through out this chapter.
This... is going to be BRILLIANT!!
e621.net/data/38/17/3817d13224b1e28636392ba258d4191a.gif?1335033718
e621.net/data/93/0d/930dac39b49f0706873dab9e4cecc9d2.gif?1335033430
Stop it, stop it! She's irredeemable, she's a monster that feeds on love and doesn't care whose lives she has to destroy to further her own goals. This fandom sometimes tries to hard to find the good in people. It's Discord all over again; The guy's a sociopathic sick fuck but clearly he was just a misunderstood little guy crying out for help. Please.
Not badly written though, so I won't rate you down or anything stupid like that.
Roughly 10 hours after the episodes air, we have our first Chrysalis fanfic. Sweet.
I like it, well done. Can't wait til the next chapter.
damn, i need to work faster... back to the writing boards...
Hipster mode activated. Boop.
481165
That's the point, she needs to feed on love, who is to say she can't gain it through an actual relationship, or through friends.
Dam dude not even half a day people just shot out the fanfictions like nothing. Wow. Dont really like the idea i mean she looks past the point of no return to me but i like happy endings but i also like villans gives the hero a reason to fight. But the story still kicks ass very good job.
481173
Nope i beat you guys too it by a hour
i already made a fanfic involving her :D
Wow this character not even a day old and she already has a fanfic on her
Wow the first of many fictions that I hope include Chrysalis in new and awesome ways.
Carry on man, it's going to be great seeing where you take it!
Although just a little something I noticed the bits with Celestia chuckling about how Manticores being a solution to a perceived "problem" seemed kind of sudden to me. I think you should of given a little more detail to the Manticore, and Suddenly Nightmare is back? :rainbow huh:
EDIT: Okay just looked back at the chapter and I guess the manticore thing really isn't such a big deal. It's short, sweet, and to the point
Something tells me you got something up your sleeve in regards to that so I digress. But yeah, I think a little more description or more focus on the Manticore would help the readers... Sorry if I'm coming off as snooty or "Back seat writer" or something, I'm trying for constructive criticism
But keep at it man! Looking forward to seeing where it goes!
Huh. Not a bad start. The grammar nazi in me is stirring a bit over small errors, but it's nothing too big. I'll be looking forward to more of this fanfic later on...
"What the fresh hell is this?"
My thoughts exactly.
481165
Have to agree with this guy. The writings is decent, not fantastic, but seriously, are we going to do this with EVERY new villain?
not_bad.Jpeg
481165
Yes, I agree.
I even saw a image on poniboru with a pic of her saying:
"Now fanfiction writers, make her misunderstood and good in the inside."
481304
Isn't that the point of our fandom? We try and love and tolerate everyone and a key part of that is understanding the world from their perspective. Sure she's probably an evil queen and Discord's probably a sociopath but until we try and see what the world looks like to them how can we say for sure?
481232
There is another fic by this guy called Equestria's Crazies were Nightmare comes back.
haha, as expected queen chrysalis fics are gonna be coming in droves
481165 portrayed in the show, yes.
but there still are ponies who would give her another chance (Fluttershy)
Waiit. Does favoriting something the same as tracking something. Because I don't know how to track a story. Not a person.
But it's a very good story.
They need to make a Crysalis emoticon though.
481395
Discord throws the entire world out of balance and manipulates the lives of ponies like puppets.
Chrysalis invades Canterlot and orders her minions to feed on the citizens of the kingdom and would have then flown all of Equestria to continue feeding.
YUP, TOTALLY MISUNDERSTOOD INDIVIDUALS!
Sometimes, evil people (ponies) are just evil.
481457 Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you THANK YOU.
Don't know why, but this fic idea reminds me of Elfen Lied.
481449
Especially in the wonderful and joyous creation known as Saturday Morning Cartoons.
I'm not here for ambiguity unless your show is titled either Batman: the Animated Series or Gargoyles.
No, I'm here for Cobra Commander, and Megatron, and Skeletor, and Aku, and so forth and so on.
Guess I owe Trautman $50. I was expecting Fics tomorrow, but this, this was released late at the night. Was not expecting it
Daayuum, I knew we were ganna get it quick but not this quick!
And for once, I agree with 481165. Can't we let something evil be evil? This time she has ABSOLUTELY no redeeming traits. She showed no remorse. She showed no mercy. She was planning on enslaving everypony. She was evil. Discord had that thing were there was possible history between the princesses (and even that is a bit far fetched). Trixie had those vague personality breaks. Nightmare was Luna deep down and people can write for hours about how Luna's personality overpowered Nighmare's or, you know, that slave and master kind of relationship.
But, were basically barking up a tree that likes barking back. This fandom's got some crazy people in it and they are willing to show just how crazy they think about the characters.
No offense to you crazy people.
So far, all I can say is that it doesn't seem like something the characters would do. She truly gave off the feeling of murderous intent in the show. But, I'm willing to see how this works out.
Tracking for now.
481191
Or...she could learn how to love herself.
But wait...that might be cannibalism....
Where's the second chapter?
Oh dear. Chrysalis plus roommates, this should be interesting. Nice start, although her mental voice doesn't sound quite . . . alien enough? The changelings seemed rather insect-like in the finale.
As far as villains go, I understand that it can seem a bit much, looking at all the "villains who are redeemed" fanfics en masse, but I also think each fic should be judged on its own merits as much as possible.
Also,Chrysalis' motivation for attacking Canterlot was to feed her people, which is more morally grey than Discord, who just enjoyed making everyone around him miserable.
This likes it will turn out to be a great story. I just have one thing I want to say, it's spelled "Shining" with only one "n." It's well written otherwise, and it's a clever plot.
481402
I wonder if I got this reply thing down. Anywho.
Ah, thank you very much for that, I just read Equestria Crazies (Loved it.) and I feel like I owe the author an apology. He obviously knows what he's doing and the whole bit with the manticores make perfect sense now!
So just ignore me (ha) and continue on with the greatness
I THINK I KILLED OUR GUEST, SORRY!!!
OMG! That was priceless!!!
God Bless dammit!!!
481449
Oh, yes. Trying to eat, that evil bitch. How dare she...intake nourishment. And not...let her species die an agonizing death by starvation.
481660
I'll take that as an answer for those holes in her legs.
"Apparently Manticore can solve most problems."
IS THAT A REFERENCE
You are brilliant and have earned the respect of a person who eats like a pig and sleeps little if possible.
481165
And that my friend, is why we can't have nice things.
Why did you let Celestia say nightmare instead of Luna at the end? D:
This will be most interesting. I think I will continue to watch it.
I came.
481909
Let me reiterate.
She invades Canterlot, imprisons Cadence for what seems like days, mind-controls an innocent colt and slowly sucks the life out of him, she orders her minions to feed on the innocent citizens of Canterlot, they destroy most of the kingdom in they invasion, and she even mentions that Equestria was one of the most love filled lands they've encountered, which means they've done this before.
Get over it, she's evil, end of story.
That was fast
Edit: Looks pretty cool, but full of errors, I think her blood was red then black and Nightmare? You mean Luna? I am so starring this.
The idea of Chrysalis finding out about love is kind of silly, because who is to say she doesn't know of it?
The fact she and her race are parasites doesn't mean they aren't capable of love - feeding on love is just what they have to do.
A Manticore can solve any problem. Classic TicTac Humour . Great story so far, You have not dissappointed me. But I sense danger ahead for Chrysalis
i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/261/331/158.png
That's quick
It even get to top 5
482367
Bleh i'll say predator - prey relationship
481304 Dude, no offense, but don't like don't read. Some people like the idea - it does go with the show's premise after all.
If you're bothered, pass. No one's forcing you to read it.
Well, I haven't so much as read this yet, but seeing how I stayed up extra late last night just for the double episode...
...no, I don't see Canon!Chrysalis as particularly redeemable, either. Even if she came back begging for forgiveness, it'd probably just be a trick; she's basically a shapeshifting vampire (complete with swarm of shapeshifting vampire minions) whose entire existence revolves around lying to ponies so she can hang around them and suck that delicious love right out of them -- with unclear but likely ultimately debilitating side effects. Not all ponies are going to be as resilient, or have as magically powerful a girlfriend coming to their rescue, as Shining Armor. And she's technically not even been decisively beaten, just kicked out of Canterlot along with her brood this once...if she learns anything from the experience, it's likely to just be "back to the drawing board, all I need is a better plan and EQUESTRIA'S PONIES WILL YET BE MINE! MWA-HA-HA-HA-HAAA!".
Still, that's the canon version. Pretty much by definition, fan fiction branches out into its own alternate universes the moment anybody starts to write it -- and we don't, technically, know the first thing about where the changelings even came from all of a sudden. So if somebody wants to write their queen as a more sympathetic character, by all means. It won't be canon (of course), and not everybody'll be able to make the concept work either, but I could in principle see it work as a story all the same.
482367
Realistically speaking, the average person isn't so cartoonishly evil.
Hell, even Hitler had his positives. Even criminals can find rehabilitation. Are there people in the world who are evil? Yes, but most people aren't so one dimensional.
I've always assumed the Queen doesn't see us as more than food. She doesn't realize we are more than that. Like our form of morality is black and white, hers is orange and blue. She's just radically different than us.
That's not the point though. Everyone has a right to write whatever they please. You have no right to tell people what they can or cannot write. Each story should be able to fall or stand on its own two feet (or four hooves). Their portrayal of a character can't, or shouldn't, affect how you view them in-universe. Their fanfics. Simple as that.
Ditzy Doo... Y U No Derpy Hooves?!?
Just Say No To Love - Tony Iommi Featuring Peter Steele