With enough momentum, pigs fly just fine.
It's no mere coincidence that the possessors of the Elements of Harmony all wound up in Ponyville. With careful planning, convincing, and a bit of luck Princess Celestia led six mares along the right path that would forever make them the best of friends.
But first she had to find them.
[In the process of being rewritten]
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A/N: Claiming first so no one has to fight over it.
This is just a side-project that my mind has been haggling for me to make. I hope you enjoy the read.
Also, if you see me dun'goof in any places, please tell me so I can correct them.
Awww cute
This. THis is really good. I approve. You sir, know how to write.
This is brilliant! I loved the part about the cheese mural, I laughed at that.
Excellent!
narutobase.net/forums/picture.php?albumid=6158&pictureid=104421
There must be some dust in my eyes or something.... yeah thats it.
What about the Sonic Rainboom right before?
486073 sticking to canon. In that episode, Celestia is first introduced when spike shoots his head out of the ceiling. So as far as we know, Celestia never noticed the sonic rainboom.
And as a side note, thanks everyone for all the wonderful comments!
why this no have sad tag
486315 It does now. Honestly I'm not aiming for it to be sad, but some of the reactions I'm getting say otherwise.
486340 lol anything with one of the manesix dieing should have a sad tag since just about all of them are loved alot the only one who may not be is rarity
: KILL IT WITH FIRE
484915>>484959>>485148>>485285>>486073
Just thought I'd take this moment to say thanks to everyone for the kind comments.
The next chapter is about, I don't know, half way done? It's currently resting at 3,700 words. (even though I aimed for 3,500...)
It should give a sturdy example as to how the layout of the remainder of the story will go, if 'Magic' didn't do so already.
And I'm going to warn you though. Thanks to 486315 for opening my eyes to this, but this chapter will be a sad one.
So the sad tag will earn its place. However, I expect this to be the saddest chapter of them all. The rest should be cute and cuddly (hopefully).
Just a warning for those with weak hearts.
496530
Curses for my fluttershyness
So... this chapter was originally intended to be 3500 words long. As you can see, it's more than double that.
Hopefully the other chapters won't be so lengthy, but no guarantees.
Also, I'm going to try to get on EQD. So if you see any errors, please alert me so I can fix them.
the first chapter was sadder this one is kinda sad but not grim sad which is a good thing so in other words LIES!!!
(thanks for lying by the way)
518120 Ooh, I found one!
Applejack undid herself the cart and unlike her brother she opted to the leave the yoke connected.
Other than that, no glaring errors. There are probably more, less annoying ones. Good luck getting onto EQD!
518370 Depends of the person. I wasn't necessarily lying and I don't intend for this to be grimsad.
518425 Thank you!
Very good. There's one thing that I want to point out:
"However the pain was absolutely worth it as the apple juices flooded her mouth, igniting her taste buds into a citrus-fueled craze."
Apples are not citrus fruits. Innocent mistake, I know.
Also, did you get one of the lines from "The End of Ponies" fic? The one about giving to the land and the land giving back?
519678 Hmm... I'll have to fix that about the apples.
As for your second question, that was entirely unintentional
However, perhaps you saw the reference to another fiction in 'Magic'
Very well-written! It's very interesting to hear Twilight's story from Celestia's perspective.
One small error though. "In the opposite corner, the two unicorns (defiantly Twilight’s parents) feverishly urged their daughter to accept." "Defiantly" should be "definitely."
536204 Thank you for that.
536214
No problem
Omigoodness, omigoodness omigoodness.
but you just said it yourself.... ''celestia was out in her garden reading........'' when said events happened.... therefore she would of seen/herd the sonic rainboom! which BTW gave everypony puberty
damnit i have to wait for the next one
. alwell, just like celestia said about the apple, its worth it. now to fav!
536489 A good story can distract us from anything. I should know.
Damn you various fanfictions!
AAAAWWWWW!!!! THAT'S SO NICE!!!
I'm pretty sure there was a "he" instead of a "she" in there somewhere...
Personally I wonder if Cadence, a new born goddess, assigned to be TWILIGHT'S foal sitter (before she got her cutie mark) was just random luck, or was part of Celestia's scheme.
This is great! I love the concept of Celestia hoof-picking the ponies that best represented the Elements. Of course she did, Celstia sees and knows all.
I also like how you made her a bit more vulnerable and less godlike.
I noticed a few mistakes though:
"Gluttonous", "not "glutinous", unless you meant full of gluten.
That's in there twice, with the apples and after the doctor gives Celestia the bad news.
“Why, I’d be plum tuckered if we didn’t assist the Princess!” Tuckered means exhausted. Maybe something like "I'd be doggone if..." or something silly like "a bug in a rug" or "I'd pick apples in the Everfree Forest afore I let the Princess go without help!" I have no idea, I'm not Southern so I'm not familiar with the slang. Anypony else have ideas?
The alicorn could [not] help but cringe at their injuries.
“Thank you [for] this information doctor…”
Eagerly awaiting more!
537184 Thank you for that.
Lost Without You - John Petrucci
...guards were sanctioned around every corner.
I think the word you meant to use was stationed. Good start, though.
I like this a lot! It shows her vulnerable side and expands on the immortality thing; she's probably lost a lot of friends in the past
I am enjoying this already. No complaints or criticisms so far, but one suggestion based on preference.
I don't like the heart monitor or the hospital. Those are for sick ponies, not those fading due to time.
She should be either in Ponyville or in the Castle, wherever she lives these days in a personal hospice bed, not in a hospital. She should be doted on for comfort, not monitored for health.
"That combined with the good ‘ol earth pony way of applebucking—no fancy machines and the like—and ya get the best apples this side of Equestria.”
Yeah, none of that highfalutin' uppity hi-tech nonsense.
Like plows. Or fertilizer.
I hate ludditism, no matter how diluted. It's the fanfare of the idiot.
I've always had this theory that Celestia had a hand in shaping all of the Mane 6's 'destinies' so seeing someone writing on that is really interesting to read, so far it's been really good cannot wait to see the rest
I noticed a few mistakes.
Arcane bolts of raw, unabridged magic streaked haphazardly out of the blown out widows of the building,
That should be windows, right?
If so she was drastically unprepared to face the draconequus, but whoever was inside was currently at his mercy.
in this context aren't you talking about the princess, I'm guessing you meant her.
I like this story keep it up.
550890 Thank you for that.
But with your second point, "If so she was drastically unprepared to face the draconequus, but whoever was inside was currently at his mercy." This sentence is grammatically correct. The following sentence, "And mercy isn't something Discord fondly gave," expands on the former, meaning that the ponies inside are at Discord's mercy. Celestia is not the one threatening them, so in this context it's about Discord, or him. However I appreciate your concern.
"...a giant mural dedicated to cheese."
Dwarf Fortress reference?
For some reason I am violently opposed to the idea of cancer in ponies. I dont think it has anything to do with your story though. I just despise the idea of beloved ponies falling victim to something as mundane as cancer.
Aw, this is really sweet.
562400
This is MAGIC cancer though.
Why haven't you posted? D:
You should probably distinguish the beginning of the flashback from an ordinary paragraph break in some way.
Though I admit that most ways of marking it would imply the end should be marked too, and that could easily ruin the sense of Twilight's interruption being sudden, so I guess it needs to be relatively unobtrusive.
She's conscious, seems fully in possession of her mental faculties, and surely she's old enough to control her own life. Why isn't it legally her decision?
WHY?!?
it's not fair.....