• Member Since 14th Jun, 2014
  • offline last seen Nov 2nd, 2022

SECURE0777


T

On the night of Sunsets graduation, which just happens to be the night she plans to return to Equestria. Canterlot high is assaulted from beyond the stars, and the portal between the two worlds is ripped open.

Chapters (24)
Comments ( 109 )

......okay for starters, not indicating it is Sunset Shimmer here dude. it just says her.

5041876 yeah I know I meant to write the description with some mystery but then I pointed out the EQG world. So I ruined that. So I'm just going to add Sunsets name

Its a good start. I like the change of scenery, taking place in the human world version of Equestria Girls.

If you don't mind, a simple request?
When Mario and Luigi fight their abilities lays more on their jump attacks, not just fists and hammers. Its nice and all, buts not the Mario Bros. style and gets really tedious to read about them only doing those attacks.

5045034 Yeah I know I've been playing a lot of Bowsers inside story, and Mario galaxy recently. But there will be more kicking and jumping as they get fighting for real.

good story and amazing battle, but in the end the mario bros lost:pinkiesad2::raritycry::raritydespair::fluttercry::applecry: and poor sunset lost her home

It is somehow very funny, and i think if i give it a chance, it could be really good.

I somehow feel the need to hear this right now.

Every time they have one of their weird fights:pinkiehappy:
I know they are supposed to tame Sunset a bit, but i hopw Fluttershy and the others or don´t say everytime something to her if she isn´t the pure goodness.
I am not complaining right now, i just see it coming, that Sunset maybe won´t be able to be mean even if she has the right to do so or something like that.

I like the story, but i think they should at least be suprised or interested in their new appearance. I think that didn´t happen if i was watching correct

5056270 MnL series are some of fav RPGs they're fun accessible but not easy or not not complex. And that batt,e music. LOVE IT

Fluttershy is able to read People and animals really well. And can see herself in Luigi. Had it been Mario she probally would've let Sunset chew him. And yes she'll get mad and mean. Eventually.

And lastly They knew what they where getting into. Because of Twilight, it's more about getting control over their new forms. Less about being shocked by their new forms. Well except for. Pinkie, the insane abilities Pinkie Pie will overwhelm the "Human" Pinkie. She didn't diseappear from choice but rather from lack of control over her. Pony Pinkie "Magic"

5056330 I played them all i think, nice Games.:pinkiehappy: The last Game is good too, but i freaked out a bit as i played the Mini Games to get extra stuff, if i remember them right i think they were not that easy. I have to continue the Hard Mode.

Okay i understand how you mean it with Fluttershy and Luigi, and i am fine with that, at least i know why. I just would not like it if she suddenly turned out like Sunset´s Boss in the future. This way i am ok with it.

PS: I meant it more like that they didn´t know how they look in their Pony form and that they maybe are suprised about their appearance, how they look and not that they turned into a pony. Like i said i just thought they would be more interessted in themself for a moment. "Cool Wings" or something like that. PSPS: Fluttershy have to be happy, for her it have to be like she is an animal herself now, and it is more special for her than the original Fluttershy i think.

Well it is nothing too bad, i just started to notice more little thing for myself.

5056426 MnL Partners in time is the only game where I struggled, the four button command system was to much for brain as a kid.

No Sunset "submissive" just regretful. That doesn't mean she won't have anger issues or ambition. Just feel regret. If you want a glimpse of Sunset later on here. If not then don't read this next.

Sunset Shimmer push off the ground, she knew she had atleast a cracked rib and was growing desprate. Mario and Luigi where nowhere in sight. She looked at Wendy Koopa twisting and turning her wand. Twilight looked weakly at her from across the room. "Do you know who I am?" She asked simply, fury bubbling to her surface.
"Does it matter little pony?"
A bright pillar of flames erupted from the cement behind "I AM SUNSET SHIMMER" She slammed her hoof onto the ground, and the flames swirled into a miniature sun. "I Rose the sun as a filly!" Wendy backed away as a whip of plasma parts of ruin they where in "I WAS TAUGHT FRIENDSHIP BY THE PONY PRINCESS OF FRIENDSHIP" The sun grew twice as large "I HAVE FACED DOWN SIRENS, AND YOUR BROTHERS, KOOPA, DRAGONS! AND YOUR KING" Wend sent a stream of magic from her wand, but it was instantly reflected by a bright green barrier "I WAS TAUGHT BY TWO CELESTIA, AND THE HERO OF THE UNIVERSE MARIO!" Sunsets eyes glowed with pure magic, and for the first time Twilight knew what Celestia saw in Sunset Shimmer "AND YOU BELIEVE YOU CAN DEFEAT ME"....

Not to many spoilers there I hope.

Ok You have to remember they just walked into a war zone, or it's aftermath. None of them are truly conceited enough to look for a mirror. But rather figure out my body then help the injured.

As for Flutters being an animal now, I do have a scene planned where she taps into her pony ability to speak with animals rather then just plain getting them.

Wait, wait...so Bowser attacked the Crystal Empire and was later afterwards residing in Equestria for a week? What the fuuuu:rainbowderp:uu-oookay...?

:trixieshiftright:...
:trixieshiftleft:...

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Anyways, its looking pretty solid. Theres a bunch of missing words, you might want to reread this chapter to fill in the blanks. Other than that its fairly easy to understand and read.

The scene near the end, with Mario and Luigi discussing with Candace and Sunset respectively, I liked that part. Its one if those 'serious moment' situations. Bowser is dangerous on numerous levels, the Crystal Empire residents are just getting a taste of what's about to come down.

Its going to be interesting if the original Mane Six ends up meeting face to face with the the EQG-ponified Mane Six.

5057127

Pretty much nothing in Euestria minus of course Luna and Celestia could hurt Bowser. And Since both Luna and Celestia are lazy, and willing to let the much. Weaker Mane 6 defend Equestria, Bowser had free rein. Hint Hint nudge nudge

Also can point out some missing words because certain times Raibow Dash is called Rainbow and later Rainbow to differ from her counter part.

so boswer son is here too. So what going happen?

5056534 well ok yes of course, i have to admit because of the war they are probably a bit distracted, thanks to remember me on that little detail:twilightblush:

No not to much Spoiler, it just makes me want more. Are Mario and Luigi looking like in the Games? I think it is weird to image them as reallife Humans.
And for the Game, yes...i think the Endboss of Partners in Time was the hardest boss i ever had to beat for a while.

For Fluttershy, even if it shouldn´t last long, i would like it if she is excited for the fact to be an animal herself:pinkiehappy:
Anyway good work.

i may watch eqg movie, but that mean i didn't read backstory sunset. Also what twilight friends think when they meet their counterselft? also can sunset show twilight and the other she change? and what they think about the mario bros?

5065313 Twilight and company are about two or three chapters away from now.

And yes Sunset will have to prove she's good

5057319

:trollestia:
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That only leaves one or two more questions. What about Discord? Since this is taking place sometime after him being reformed he's bound to do something...or join in on the destruction and chaos...?

5066880 Discords abilities aren't as combat oriented as Bowsers. Yes in terms of raw power, his reality warping abilities are technically more powerful. And he could theoretically. Dip bowser in acid or the sun. But that doesn't fit his style. But that doesn't fit his feats. But what puts the nail into the coffin is, the fact that he likes to get close and taunt. If he ever got cloe to Bowser that would be his end.

As for him joining Bowser, there a difference between enjoying pranks and causing chaos. And being destructive, and a dictator.

So Discords appearance may have helped. But would've only made a marginal difference. And I just plain wanted to save Discord for later in the story.

I have to read it again, it hink i was to fast. I thought Sunset teleported Luigi out of the way, but then again it looked a bit like she did something for her friends. I have to read again to understand it right, why she nuzzled rainbow and because it suddenly looked like they got injured.
I think it is me right now and not that there is anything wrong with the text. If i read slower i will probably understand it, i understand english better than i can speak it. It is rare that i don´t get the important things.

There was something else i wanted to say, but well good work, i like that Rainbow is loyal to Sunset and i hope her loyalty doesn´t change if she meet Celestia. I know she would probably don´t be mad, but i just say what i am hoping for.

5068103
Sunset protected Luigi during his fight with Jr, but when the Bowser activated the Crystal Heart. She took a gamble and protected the HuMane 5 with a barrier. There's a flashback from RD later on that explains the scene better.


As for RD she is the the element of Loyalty

5068275 i think i had written it not exact enough, i know the main six:pinkiehappy: i just wanted the Human RD on Sunset´s side, i don´t know how much you wanted to let happen, if they probably meet themself.

and well thank you, it seems that i understand more than i think, again i understood it right, i just thouth i misread something.

That good story there, but when you wirte The sirens that base from movie equestria girls: rainbow rock so if you think put The sirens from equestria girls rainbow rock in story? think again buster

5077074
The sirens are going to be based of the. Rainbow Rocks Dazzles BUT. Rainbow rocks didn't happen.

I don´t know why, but i am not that interessted in Rainbow Rocks, i am ok with the story and the music thing, i think it just don´t like it, that they are able to transform without Twilight. It is a bit weird that they have a Sailor Moon transformation in a world without real Magic. If they are just playing their instruments, then they don´t have to transform. If the movie already exist, i think i try to watch it too.

If i was informed right, don´t even Sunset get her role in the movie. I haven´t seen it yet, but i don´t like all of it.

good chapter, the story is getting better for me, i mean i like it more than befor.

I'm curious, which series is Mario and Luigi is being base on?

Ex; mainstream with Mario & Luigi series physic with Paper Mario lore's and cultures (I mentioned Paper Mario because Celestia's backstory mentions the Shadow Queen, assuming its the same demon from the Thousand Year Door).

5081040 the Whoohoo hoonivercity brought the three core Mario franchises (Paper MnL and SMB). That being said the Shadow Queen is the equestrian counter part to Paper Shadow Queen. Remember MnL came through the portal.

5078713
Rainbow Rocks is ok. Does it hold a candle to MLP FiM, no. Is It better then the original MLP EQG, yes.

Honestly Rainbow Rocks still doesn't hold a candle to what the Fall of Sunset Shimmer sold me on. It does however excite me for the next EQG comic however. And the writer MUST DO A post EQG pre Rainbow Rocks. I wanna see how Sunset began her friendship with HuMane 5. Maybe a three shot miniseries, showing the first glimmer of friendship between EQG Mane 6

5083662
Sorry, I wasn't being clear. What I meant was on which series you'll base Mario's and Luigi's powers/abilities on? M&L series their magic use of hand powers and bros moves, Paper Mario badges and/or special moves, or keep it mainstream with only power-ups.

"Good, if you must know Jr. In their capitol city. There's a book, a book of Tartarus"

Jr grinned up at his dad "And it will tell us everything about the criminal before we release it"

Tirek is making his return!!! :pinkiehappy:

Maybe... :pinkiesmile:

Kinda... :rainbowhuh:

5084148 Composite MnL you've already seen them using their hammers. But later they'll use their bro combos and power ups. Along with adding some flare to moves.


The thing with badges is how hard they are to put into writing

5084239
Yeah, I guess adding the addition of badges will be complicated. I mean, you'll have to explain how badge play merged into Equestria (defeated enemies of the Koopa Troop were carrying some?) and most of them are RPG oriented.

now i understand the word so what they find if sunset not in danser?

:fluttercry:
:fluttershbad:

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BTW, your story is looking great. The only issue is that there's a lot of grammar, errors, and missing words.

I'll be happy to volunteer to be your pre-reader and fix these problems. Unfortunately, my laptop is having a bit of a slump, nothing major, just need a new ac adaptor. Once my problem is taken care of my offer is good to go.

5114438 Ill take you up on that offer

Banana peels at the end. I see what you did there, Discord.:raritywink:

5137618 who said Discord? What about Twilight?

5137909 That snapping sound followed by Banana peels? Sounds a little too chaotic to be the work of Twilight.

5138262 Mario thought he heard a snapping noise. And Twilight is one of discords friends who says she isn't pulling out of the chaos gods play book.

5138274 Well, you got me there, but I still think Twilight's a bit too goody-goody to turn a roof into banana peels.

I gotta say, I've read a lot of Mario/crossover stories, but none of them hardly have the Bros. parkour everywhere they go.

Great job. :moustache:

i wonder what the mario bros do when they meet discord?

Rainbow Dash joining Bowser? Why? I though she is loyatey

5178535 don't worry, I had to double check myself

Oh, boy, Lightning Dust is joining the bad guys. Who's next, Gilda (if not already)?

look like all the mare6 rivel/enemy join force with bowser what our hero going to do?

I am going to be honest here, this story isnt bad but its not great either. it feels rather rushed. I feel it has great potential if you would just slow the pacing down a bit

good chapter just let you know super smash bros for wiiu is out in store

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