• Member Since 30th May, 2013
  • offline last seen May 21st, 2023

Cyanjames2819


Um... hi. I like reading, writing and drawing. Sorry, I don't take commissions/requests anymore, I don't trust myself in finishing them. Have a nice day/night, everyone.

T
Source

My name is Overwind. It's my last name, but that's how everyone calls me nowadays.

Starting just over a year ago, my life has been hanging on a weakening thread. Life's just beating me down like a bully to an easy prey.

But life is like a Beach, as my wife once told me. You'll get nice and sunny days most of the time, but once in a long while, a storm brews up to screw you over like your its *****. Now I'm in an alien world, strangely same to mine, but it has a key thing that makes it strange. It's ruled by magical, anthropomorphic, pastel colored race, who calls themselves 'Ponies'.

I don't know if this is the second wave of a Tsunami that decided to hit me a year ago, or I got myself some very great helpers to rebuild what I've lost. My new friend, Applejack's been the most helpful of the six. I can't ask for a better friend.


Noted: This story is not my original idea. It was requested by Deepfreeze222 in Fanfiction, though the parent Author have given me freedom to write it how ever I want. But sense this is Deepfreezes' story and not mine, I will get it as close as I can to the Author's original idea of the story's plot and whatnot.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 24 )

*reads short description*

"sechuation"

screw it, I'm reading it.. 5:20, I will comment later to possibly review this.
Don't judge a website written story by its short description.

And, do you draw these covers? If so, great job, you have max. euphoria!

5152932 Thanks, I did draw it. Have a nice evening? I have no idea where you are right now, but it's about 8:30 at night where I am.:twilightsheepish:

5152962 Amazing work, and I am in California.

5152962 Okay, I'm done.
I was distracted, it is now 6:05(at the current moment- I was reading up on Runescape Classic, don't know why..).

I saw the word hopping. A lot. I'm sure it was autocorrect, if you're using anything that has that kind of system.
The plot I liked.
The meeting I liked as well.
However, there was sometimes a spelling mistake, like sechuation, and some others.

Normally, if I don't know how to spell or use a word, I google the definition.
But that rarely ever happens.

However, the story seemed really nice.
9/10,

Spelling errors and constant mistakes spotted a lot. This can be fixed.
Nice everything else. Liked it.

5153109 Yeah, I need to work on my English a little more.

5153198 While I'm fine with Overwind's reaction, I do feel that as a character, he's a Tragedy Gary Stu, with how pessimistic he perceives the world and the unmentioned tragedies which plagues his untold backstory. His fear, while justified, seems to be motivated by a fear of assault, whereas it really should (in my opinion) stem from a fear of the unknown, and the possibilities of being treated as a governmental research specimen, or of an aggressive response by the natives to an unknown alien in the midst of them. Only one fear gets explored, while there are others which would further add to his character and the depths thereof.

Another thing, is for being the alien in an unknown land, and possibly world, the ponies gains Overwind's trust too quickly. He might follow them for other reasons such as shelter, food, and warmth, but gaining his trust should be a slow, gradual process. Like making friends really. There are things one does not trust strangers with, while there are things that friends would be privy to. And even then, there should be things that even friends don't know about their friends. Especially dark things like a fetish for foal necrophilia, or the empowering delight of murder, or the perverse satisfaction of bending another's will to be subservient towards one's own will.

So, while this might make for decent 'guilty pleasure' reading. I do think that there is potential for this to be improved upon, and go from a good story to a stellar one.

Peace,

AuthorGenesis

5153888 I'll do my best. And thanks, your advices are a great help.:twilightsmile:

I like it. Nice plot. Pacing may have been a tad fast but not to where it ruins the story. Overall dialogue is good. Love the romance aspect.

Could you write a story about AJ catching a cold and sneezing? :pinkiehappy:

Really creative o.c name...I like it

5155055 I'll think about it.:twilightsmile:

Commas, commas everywhere!!!

5169685 Sorry about the commas, buddy. My English isn't what it used to be.:fluttercry:

This story seems promising. I'll give it a favorite.

>>Cyanjames2819 Is this story like Lovely Rarity. Except instead of Rarity its Applejack?

5222917 Yeah, something like that.

>>Cyanjames2819 Speaking of Lovely Rarity when will you update it?

5243580 I don't know actually. Probably sometime this month, but I'm not too sure.

Well DeepFreeze needs to grow some balls.

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