The Narrative of Scarlet Tomato

by Uncle Knot

Chapter 9

About growing my mustache, I had been toying with the idea of a mustache just to set myself apart from the other Tomatoes long ago. The additional incentive that Thunder Hooves had volunteered simply clicked. The two green leaves above my cutie mark of a scarlet tomato, sort of looked like a mustache. It was my destiny. Or at least I could fool myself into thinking so.

Scootaloo introduced me to her friends the “CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS”; the verbose Sweetie Belle, and the sugary Apple Bloom.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Miss Apple Bloom” I said

“Thank you kindly sir” said Apple Bloom

“So are you part of the Sweet Apple family?” I asked

“I am sir” she said “Cept we are the Apple Family of Sweet Apple Acres”

“Do you grow sweet apples?” I asked

“We grow all types of apples” she answered “you can ask my kin when they get here”

“They are coming here?”

“Yes sir mister” she responded “When we see all these pegasus descending from the sky, we know there is some type of party going on. So now my kin be fixin up some grub to share with you’all. They sent me ahead to check it out.”

“That is very brave of you Apple Bloom” I said

“Sure is worth it” she answered “the way you fixed these apples is great”

“Something new?” I suggested

“Sure is” said Apple Bloom with a smile. “Here they come”

A large wagon approached, pulled by the big red I had seen earlier. In the bench were two others; an elderly green grandmother type and shapely legged filly with a cowboy hat. Only 3 others, perhaps what I had seen earlier, was indeed the entire Sweet Apple, no strike that, the entire Apple family. This farm was too big for them. How in the world did they manage it?

Big Mac’s (as the Apples introduced him) hoof shake was firm, but he was careful not to overdo it. Granny Smith was absolutely charming. I think I would like this family as neighbors. Then I met Applejack.

“I don’t like your hat” she said shaking my hoof vigorously “Reminds me of the Flim Flam brothers”

“What about yours?” I responded “cow skin stretched over a stone?”

“its felt” she snapped back “like I would even think of using leather. What do you think you’re doing here?”

“Camping” I said

“Why here?” she demanded

“This is my tract for my tomato farm” I said “made a deal with the mayor just this morning”

“Tomatoes! You can’t plant tomatoes next to our orchard” said Applejack “too much red. Won’t look right”

“Try some of my cooking” I suggested “Apple Bloom says she likes the way I cook apples”

“Where did you get them apples?” asked Applejack

“A friend shared them with me” I said

“Which friend?” asked Applejack Meaningfully?

“Does it make a difference?” I answered

“Wow, wow, wow” interrupted Rainbow Dash “try the cooking. The fried apples in cinnamon are really great”

“Can’t eat them” said Applejack “I’m allergic to cinnamon”

“Since when?” said Granny Smith

“Since I don’t know where or how he got them apples” answered Applejack

“I gave him the apples” volunteered Scootaloo “they are the ones you gave me earlier”

“You were supposed to save them for latter Scootaloo” said Applejack

“Scootaloo has been very generous” I said “She shared them to welcome me to Ponyville”

“That’s right, this is his welcome to Ponyville party” said Scootaloo

“If this is a party, where’s Pinky Pie?” asked Applejack

“Hi all!” said a pink pony with red hair

“Hi Pinky” exclaimed every pony (except me and Applejack)

“Oh, a staring contest” said Pinky “Is this a party?”

“No, this is not a staring contest” said Applejack

“Seems like a staring contest to me” said Rainbow Dash

“Eeyup” said Big Mac

“Yes, this is a party” said Thunder Hooves

“It is a welcome Scarlet Tomato to Ponyville party” said Scootaloo

“Wait, that’s my job” said Pinky “Who is Scarlet Tomato?”

“I am” I said still faced off with Applejack

“Twilight is coming” said Pinky

“Can’t be, sunset is hours away” I said

“No, Princess Twilight Sparkle” said Applejack with a smirk, keeping her eyes locked with mine.
Applejack had the advantage. She knew some pony was coming that I probably shouldn’t ignore or be locked in this embarrassing staring contest in. However, I knew that Applejack knew, so I gritted my teeth and let a smile answer Applejack’s smile. The joke was on me, I had never met a princess before, and what I could see of her seemed purple.

“Hello, I’m Twilight Sparkle” said the purple blur at the edge of my vision. “Is this a staring contest?”

“Eeyup” said Big Mac

“No, this is not a staring contest” said Applejack

“Seems like a staring contest to me” repeated Rainbow Dash

“It is an epic staring contest” said Pinky

“No, this is my welcome to Ponyville party for Scarlet Tomato” said Scootaloo

“Very well” said Twilight “in my official function as Princess Sparkle, let us begin the welcoming ceremony”

“What are you talking about?” asked Applejack while still maintaining our locked eyes

“Every pony gather around” said Twilight in her most solemn voice. “We are gathered here this day to welcome Scarlet Tomato to Ponyville, who is presently trapped in a staring contest with Applejack. We wish them well regardless of the outcome and may their lives together be filled with bless. Do you Applejack take this colt to be your lawfully wedded staring partner, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, till death do you part?”

“It is NOT a staring contest” responded Applejack

“WE” said Twilight in her most regal voice “shall consider that an affirmation. And do you Scarlet Tomato; take Applejack as your lawfully wedded staring partner, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, till the darkness of the evening makes it impossible for you to continue staring?”

“I do” I said, enjoying the red color seep into Applejack’s face. It should be noted that my face was also getting red.

“Then, by my powers as Princess of Friendship” said Twilight “unless some pony can show just cause to object, I hereby pronounce Scarlet Tomato and Applejack, to be eye to eye, colt and mare, husband and wife.”

“STOP” came a shout from the distance. “STOP THIS AT ONCE. THIS IS THE WORST POSSIBLE THING”