Chapter 1
It was a dark stormy night with winds as powerful as tanks knocking against the treehouse of the ever infamous and highly regarded Princess Alicorn Twilight Sparkle.
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Fek~
You know what? This
Good simile.
Bucking tanks. Against a tree. SUCK IT WIND-BASED ELEMENTAL TANKS! FOREST TRUMPS WIND!
Don't buck with Princess Alicorn Twilight Sparkle's Tree Dome. Her shields go to 11!
I can already tell that this is going to be the best story ever.
Tanks aren't even that powerful. I only invest in nukes.
This chapter. Just... this chapter.
It's amazing how much is really in this incredible piece of prose. I mean, just look at this masterpiece! You've already accomplished so much. You've not only introduced the (presumably) main character, but you've actually paired them with not one, not two or three, but four descriptors! And you even managed to describe her home and environment as well! It's amazing you can even load all this on today's computers. At this rate, we'll need more RAM just to view it all!
You should seriously take a couple days break from all that writing. Why rush things, right? Take a day or two off, then spend a couple weeks and really make sure the next chapter is up to par with this one. I mean, getting this amazing of a first chapter out had to be exhausting, right?
My. A very nice beginning.
reads summary
Thinks "It can't be that bad."
reads first chapter
result below
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/369/806/f2f.jpg
Too long, didn't read.