Twilight and Spike decides to switch places for the week to see how their other jobs works out. But will it be a good idea and will Spike's jobs be too much for the Alicorn to handle?
Chapters (5)
- Member Since 13th Oct, 2013
- offline last seen 4 hours ago
JusSonic
Hey folks. JusSonic here, finally sending fics here. While I was worried about coming here for some time now, I decided to give this place a shot...as long as you be fair, 'kay?
JusSonic
Joined 13th Oct, 2013 ·
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if you're going to do a sequel (or a story in the universe/context) of one of your earlier stories, PLEASE label it as such, because I came here expecting ONLY Spike and Twilight throughout the fic, as described in your story description, not a number of characters that are vital parts of the story and glanced over like we already know them as well as we know the cannon characters (Twi, AJ, RD, etc.)
5045136
It's mentioned in my timeline blog. What more do you want?
5045772
have at least a mention of it in the description for anyone that sees this story (and others like it) without reading (or even knowing about) ANY of your other work
Well, I'm reading your latest story to compare it with your earlier works, and sadly, I don't see much improvement in the past few years. There are quite a few basic grammatical issues that need to be addressed (awkward sentence structure, randomly changing tenses, AJ's eggagerated accent, saying "got" all the time instead of "have" or "has," etc.) and Ben Mare, from what I can tell, is just bland. I can't really get a feel for his personality. Heck, even his name is rather bland. In a world where characters have names like "Twilight Sparkle" and "Rainbow Dash," his name is...Ben? Ben Mare? It doesn't really fit in with the rest of the Ponyverse.
Also, your attitude toward criticism in this last chapter doesn't come off as very positive. I realize that you've received a lot of negative reviews in the past (and yes, some of Hamster_Master's reviews were a bit uncalled for, though I agreed with others), but there's kind of a reason that a good deal of your reviews are negative. A lot of it comes from your refusal to make any changes, and it says something when I read this after "Demon Pony," one of your first stories that you wrote YEARS ago, and I can't really find any difference, other than a ton of new characters who were all kind of hit or miss.
5090113
First off, you're wrong. The name does fit with Ponyverse. Maybe not to you, but it is to certain people.
Second, I was going for Applejack's Southern accent.
Third, like I told people many times, I don't want to change. I'm doing this for fun, not to be accepted or whatever. Just leave it alone. Please.
Anyway, have a nice day.
5090174
Writing for fun does not excuse you from criticism, JusSonic. I hate repeating myself, but I think it needs repeating. Again and again if necessary:
Writing for fun does NOT excuse you from criticism.
Edit because I'm an idiot. Whoops.
5094860 I guess you're right. I just feel like writing for fun is one thing, but writing WELL for fun is even better, because you can look back later on and see how you've improved.
I guess what made me want to leave the review was because of a lot of peoples' attitudes on critics, especially people in certain communities on this site. I actually recently left a review on someone on DeviantART's story (this person knows Jus, so it's relevant), and I tried to make the review nice, if not a bit critical, because I thought it would help.
He thanked me for my opinion, and I thought everything was fine until I saw that he flagged it as spam shortly afterward. I gave him a sarcastic you're welcome message, and he accused me of trolling because how dare I point out that he flagged a perfectly normal comment because it wasn't completely positive?
Anyway, we cleared things up, I think, but this whole attitude in general that everyone seems to have about "trolls" and "haters" to be anyone saying anything that's not blind praise for their works. Plus, this guy wants to be a professional writer, and I'm not saying he can't do it, but I am saying that he needs to work on handling negativity better.
Rant done.
5090113 The only thing I see bland is your fanfic writing, and your distaste for fanmakes and Ben.
5110375 Oh, good! A discussion! You know, I was ready to just leave, but now I'd like to stay and chat. Pray tell, what makes my writing bland? I'd actually like your opinion, because I'm always up for improving myself.
Actually, first, how is my disliking Ben Mare "bland?" Not sure how that works. But, whatever. Let's move onto the writing.
I actually don't write here that often, to be honest, and I really should get back to my "Pinkie Pie-nocchio" story, come to think of it. I'm going to admit it right now, I have a little trouble when it comes to being descriptive. I think in terms of a screenplay sometimes, and I focus more on getting into characters' heads and focusing on their dialogue. Unfortunately, as some people have pointed out in the past, it devolves into "talking heads" after a while, so I *do* need to improve myself on that aspect.
What do you feel makes them bland? Thank you.
5110526
Simple: You hating him is like some people hating Nyx, and seeing anti-Nyx art and fics is very hurtful.
The way I saw your Disney movie parodies like that Lion King one? It didn't give the hero high progress in the end, thanks to that douchebag, Kevin. And a song in it called itself what it is; a weak parody.
Heck, all your parodies are weak, maybe even to the point of crumbling down like a foolish old man standing without crutches.
5111013
That's not really "bland," though, that's just you disagreeing with me. I didn't even bring Nyx up, actually. Um, anyway, moving on...
Ahh, the old Lion King fic. I'll admit myself, that wasn't one of my better ones, but I've tried to move past that. It's important for us all to move forward and see what one could have done better. The whole part with Kevin at the end was because I was writing the series as a continuous narrative, like a TV series, one that hits what's now known as the "reset button" where things go back to normal at the end. Plenty of series do that, like "The Simpsons" (never mind that they've gone a bit downhill in recent years, but I digress).
The "weak parody" song was mostly a self-deprecating joke and wasn't meant to be taken seriously. If anything, I think that some of my parodies actually hold up better than fanmakes (this is me talking about my own writing, though, so people are free to disagree) because they change things, instead of being interchangeable copypastas.
My older stuff could use some work, yes. Heck, some of my newer stuff could use work as well, but I'm just trying to move forward one day at a time. You're all more than welcome to read the stories I've posted here, if anyone would like. Not to self-promote or anything, but since the quality of my writing is being brought up, I'd like to hear some other opinions.
Also, JusSonic, hope you don't mind that this is being turned into a forum. We should probably move this discussion to my profile. Punch and pie will (not) be provided. Thanks!
5111082
5111013
Guys, come on. Let's not forget, the reviews are about my fic, not anything else. Try to remain on one focus, please. Let's keep our opinions.
Guys, for those of you wondering why Ben has the last name of Mare, Ju has stated, when he was creating Ben Mare, he didn't know what mare meant. While I do agree he could use work, I'm not gonna bash him.
5119277 And that's good to hear. Some people are just judging Ben Mare too harshly.
5154873
Hey, he improved! Stop being negative.
5154916 And the more negative you are, the more of a douchebag you're being, especially when you're not giving Ben Mare a chance.
5172954 I see that a lot of people like Ben Mare, and a lot of others don't. It's kind of a polarizing division. I'm trying to give Ben a chance, but it would be easier if he had a better-defined personality. His whole thing seems to be that he's relatively nice and kind of awkward...but that's about it.
Since you're a huge fan of the character, maybe you could help me wrap my head around who he is, what his personality is? Because my biggest problem is that he just seems really unremarkable. like there's nothing to say about him.
5173678
You can also say that he is defined by his relationships to other characters. He's Twilight Sparkle boyfriend. He's the adopted son AND father of Princess Celestia and Nyx, respectively. Oh, and he also has special powers granted to him because his special cutie mark. Besides that... not much. And no, it's not because I didn't give him a chance, I read those stories and decided he was a flat character. Sorry to be blunt, but he is a really unremarkable character.
In my opinion anyway.
5174607
5174563
Yeah, I gotta disagree with the both of you. Ben is never flat nor is he unremarkable. He evolves as the story goes on.
Bwaak, if you stop being so negative and be positive, you would enjoy the stories more, but then again, why bother?
You never listen. If you didn't like my stories, why do you continue reading???
5174659
And I respectfully disagree. I read enough about him to come to that conclusion.
5174659 Since you created Ben, maybe you can give insights into his personality? Because I'm not really getting a straight answer from you.
Can everyone stop being so negative to this guy this is getting a bit ridiculous 90% of his stories have dislikes and not enough likes
5172954
...wow...just fucking wow...
5045772
Actually labelling it considering there’s like more than a hundred of these stories.