Sergeant Apricot Tarts lives her life in Stable 242 rather normally. However, one day she is forced to set out on a mission to save her very home, but things don't go as planned. She gets stuck in a world that no training could have ever prepared her for. While she struggles to fight everything the Wasteland throws at her, she strives to avenge her fallen comrades and to find out what happened to the once pulsating city of Coltsboro.
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Have I seen this story somewhere before? The title is familiar.
476668
You're not the first to say that the title seems familiar, but I can't think of anything with a familiar title
Broken Steel?
498559
Ohhhh, not ALWAYS... >^>
Well, I like what you've got going so far, my only suggestion is that you slow up your pacing a bit, add some more details and thoughts running through Tart's mind. She's a thinker, right? Have her think
In any case, can't wait to see what you have planned for this little band of soldier ponies. (predicts that the wastes will chew them up and spit them out
)
so whens the next chapter
534870
There's a blogpost on my userpage, explaining my situation.
539184 ahh 30% yay, school lol what you got college also?
539194
I live in austria. Our school system is a bit different, but I guess you could compare my school to a college. I work hard on chapter 2 and I hope I can get it out here by friday next week.
539211 lol I hate school
Needs more detail, but otherwise a good first chapter, you just gotta slow down a little.
Great chapter FloRad. Really well done, get a better feel of the group's dynamic and how unprepared and prepared they are for the Wasteland
love the story!
they carry the mailtary feel off great, a little tension but work together
if i had to make a downpoint id have to say the first chapter sped from event to event so fast i never got a real scense of their surroundings.
cant wait for more and thanks for linking me this on Gdocs
I knew my gut was right!! this is a good story. a little comedy here, and action there, even some seriousness. all good elements of a story.
well deserved fav.
Good read.