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While being bullied, Pipsqueak is pushed into a corner, unable to escape. In a desperate attempt to retaliate, he discovers his one true talent. What do you do when your greatest ability is to make others ponies cry?
My face when Celestia started yelling at Pipsqueak;
Example 1
“Now that was uncalled for!” she said, stomping the ground lightly. “Insulting Fluttershy like that is just plain mean, and yeah, ah am fond of Fluttershy, she’s one of mah best friends!”
Response
“Huh, should have figured as much. So you never got it on with her? Oh well, least you have something going on with your brother,” he said in a nonchalant fashion.
Example 2
“Humph, well, obviously you’re just a no good snot nosed brat of low birth. I wish I could just ignore you, but what you did to Fluttershy is inexcusable!”
Response
“You live here, in Ponyville, the most backwater dung hole on this side of the sun. And you think of yourself as some high class pony. Hah! More like a high class whore! You’ll never be worthy of Canterlot, heck, you don’t even fit in here!” Rarity stepped back, gasping with a hoof over her mouth before she flopped onto her back and promptly fainted.
Yeah, some of it was just verbal abuse and Pipsqueak going off topic but he did do teh Ad Hominens too.
Oh yeah, this was pretty awesome to read too. Nice job.
DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG! Pipsquak got SWAAAGGG! Cursing out the mane freakin six like that and then CLESTIA! That takes balls. And a cute little filly face! Godspeed and goodluck.
(P.s. Don't go alone! Take my thumb!)
Alternate ending was awesome. Best Pipsqueak story I've ever read. 
Ugh... this was interesting... yet with a major issue.
In the beginning Pipsqueak states that he can't control what he is spewing out of his mouth; so why should he at the end?
"Because Celestia showed him another meaning to his cutie mark."
Iif that is so, he still should be able to control himself before.
(Not to mention that the ending sounded like a big Deus Ex to me)
It's true, but I think she is clueless to that sort of thing.
Well, Luna has it... And yeah, that muct be damned creepy.
hehe
Not there yet mate (But I sure hope so, I've always wanted to get something featured, two of my stories almost made it, and they did make it to EqD, but never on here).
I'm late to the party yet again. Anyway, great job dude! I really like the modifications you made to the ending, it feels much more complete now. I still have a bit of a grudge against the little guy for picking on Fluttershy, but I'll get over it. 
I like the way you continue to refine your style. I know I don't need to say this, but for Luna's sake keep writing! 
I believe the correct term is "lolwut".
The insults-as-a-cutie-mark thing felt contrived, though it does raise an interesting suggestion - that cutie marks are a greater defining power than personality, because Pipsqueak's mentality/morality spiralled down as soon as he got it, way too fast for my (admittedly personal) liking. It was the sheer level of escalation that broke the story for me; a bit more reflection and pondering, internal struggle might have helped. Celestia's sudden change of mood felt sudden, too, seeing as she would have faced the problem of "ponies getting at other ponies" since the beginning of time, and hence would not outburst. I was half-expecting that she would magically re-write his cutie mark, or something, heh. That ending, though, how the talent to make ponies cry = making ponies happy... eh, well. =\
Mind, the greatest question I have still is: why Pipsqueak though? D= Now I'll have to go double-lengths to make him adorable again.
Now, for the good news: your style is nicely refined, you did a great job in finding insults that would hurt, and it made for an interesting, if not unusual, indirect character study. And apparently you got featured. =P
Congratulations princess celestia: you deserve cake.
How it should have happened:
“You think that just because your dad is some high and mighty business pony that you’ll be fine. I’ll tell you what: you suck, you're just a big mea--” he was cut off by Diamond Tiara.
"You are just jealous," she argued.
And so Pipsqueak was bullied once again.
3/4 of that fic had me thinking of sending you to pony hell for what you did to Pipsqueak, then everything got better. Don't know how else to say it. Subversively brilliant. Now waiting for somepony to modify the old meme for 'squeak to say "I'ma firing mah insults!" Also I need sleep.
Listened to 'The Red' by Chevelle and thought that it fit perfectly. Also a very interesting take on unbridled emotion. It is kind of funny to think that under a few layers of skin and fur, a pony can have that much unbridled passion so to speak. I will definitely be referencing this for character emotions, because it perfectly captures a darker side of it.
i kinda have a problem with the end. even though its ponies so happy endings are a must, i would have liked to see a more elaborate.... gauntlet of things he had to do to gain back the ponies aproval. i know i for one refuse to forgive offences of that nature for a loooong time. so i find it hard to believe that he is just "forgiven" (i know you only spent an hour so not expecting much for a start) but i would like to see this revisited and maybe another, longer alternative ending, making him deserve the forgiveness
I got featured! Yeah! This is brilliant, thanks guys!
Er... Ooops...
I can't answer to everything, and you bring up some valid points. But as for his sudden change, it's actually canon (-ish) Look at Rarity when she got he cutie mark, she was unable to stop herself, then, look at Apple Bloom during the Cutie Pox episode.
You cannot imagine the fun I had writting this!
I could have... but then that would have taken quite a bit longer, and honestly, I didn't feel like spending tons of time on this little project. Glad people like it this much.
I'm afraid the writing is "off" in a few areas. First I have to suspect that the author has never witnessed or experienced schoolyard bullying. Girls preferentially use ostracism and snide, over the shoulder verbal abuse (the way Diamond Tiara is usually portrayed in the show.) Boys tend to start more physically, with shoving and taunts as a prelude to a fight. Either way when the bully has reached cornering and harassing it will eventually accelerate to physical blows (it's more common among girls these days than in the past.) And they certainly don't fold like wet toast at the first cruel retort. If they did they'd never made a career of being bullies.
And adult mares tolerating that sort of backtalk from a tiny colt? They're certainly old enough to put their hoof down. And depending on the community it's likely they would've picked a peach tree switch and wore his flank out!
For that matter... PIP? We haven't seen much of him, but we've seen nothing to indicate verbal nastiness in his portfolio... nor making ponies cry, either in pain or happiness. Wildly OOC. For that matter, Tiara and Silver Spoon... also wildly OOC. Can you really picture them making nice after getting dissed, even with Celestia looking on?
Celestia exploding like that, also off kilter. It takes a moment to see that she was insulting him back until she beat him at it, thus breaking the cycle. (Cutie Mark Compulsion Syndrome?) It works better if drop the threats and the Canterlot Royal voice and just leave the insults... and maybe have a few ponies SHOCKED at how razor sharp Celestia's tongue is.... and have her explain afterward what she was doing.
Featured, niiiice.
My only problem with it was the swearing. It may just be a knee-jerk reaction, but I think that finely-crafted insult without swearing is so much more biting. But on the other hand, there are a LOT of insults in here, and coming up with a classic for every single one would've been... I can't even imagine.
The concept I love though, particularly the idea of the cutie mark as a controlling force. All kinds of interesting ideas arising from THAT one.
I felt as though the ponies cried far too quickly. I know that Pinkie Pie cried at Fluttershy's assertiveness pretty quick, but even insults from her best friend didn't make her mane straight, let alone some little colt whom she doesn't know nearly as well. It also seemed out of character for them to believe Pip so easily. I also doubt that Pip would know that much about the ponies to hit their verbal weak spot.
I agree completely with RealityCheck (#70) above. All of the characters were off.
HOWEVER! Seeing that this was a one-day experiment dealio, it's very well made. Heaven knows you write faster and better than I do in a day. 
Better than I thought it would be, I gotta say. Seemed an awful premise, but turned out to be quite good. I honestly would have hated this story if not for the realization at the end. Also, your ending message was quite well thought out and very true. Not bad, not bad at all.
Bleh, this story was kind of hard to get through. Just a tirade of insults flung around culminating in a visit from the Princess herself. It was over the top (cupcake references? really? ) and unfunny. It also seems everypony in town has the fragility of a ming vase when it comes to insults. Also, I don't think cutie marks necessarily put you on auto-pilot as demonstrated here; it isn't a case of cutie pox.
With all of that negative stuff said, the lesson at the end (or "plot twist" if you will) was actually good: The idea that a cutie mark is what you make of it, and is not entirely something that just defines who you are. Outside of that little bit, though, it was a bland piece to sit through, with out-of-character ponies running about, and little being accomplished overall.
"His mind spun in disarray until the light brush of hooves snapped him out of it." -
DOUBLE SPACE ALERT!"And so, it came as only a small surprise when he ran into a cowboy hat toting mare carrying a cart full of apples." - I read that as "cowboy hat toting a mare" 
"Celestia began to smile at him" - Dat double space
I agree. Remember, this was writting practice, I wasn't even going to post it until a friend encouraged me to do so. The only thing you said that I must disagree with is the Cutie Mark autopilot thing. They do seem to have a mind of their own, capable of changing the mood or actions of their... owners (?)
Please look up episode twenty three of season one, notice how the marks actually did influense the actions of the ponies (esp, Rarity)
First off;
DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYUMN.
Second off;
This was perfect! I'm glad that you portrayed the Princess realistically, with grace and wisdom surpassing everypony else's experiences. Although the alt ending was funny.
He wont have many ponies to make cry on the MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!
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, and I kind of wish I was there to edit it. 
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