I used to be somepony.
Somepony this town could depend on.
Now, I'm just an old mare with nothing to do.
Mayor Mare sits alone in the Town Hall. The years have taken their toll on this once proud pony, as she withers away behind a desk. As life passes her by, she wonders if Ponyville truly needs her anymore. A certain princess comes to her and offers her wisdom to help guide Mayor Mare out of the darkness. She will either overcome these personal demons, or she will succumb to them.
1st Person/Pony P.O.V. story attempt.
Chapters (4)
Interesting.
Mayor Mare is in my top ten favorite characters, I do really miss seeing her in the show. Especially because she is voiced by Cathy Wesluck, one of my favorite VA.
It's understandable, the Mayor is stuck, her authority has been completely usurped but in a totally non-malicious way. Twilight is the go to pony now because she's going to come up with a better solution faster. Winter Wrap Up was the real turning point, getting the Wrap Up to run smoothly was something we assume the Mayor failed to do for years on end, but Twilight applied her organization skills and got the job done with time to spare. Twilight showed superior leadership and has only been improving that skill, enough that cosmic forces decided she was leadership material and transformed her into something ponies would follow out of instinct. Mayor Mare can't really get mad, the cosmos itself has basically told her Twilight is a better leader than she is, and Twilight's actions have proven it.
opens your mind to other side of the coin
Wait a minute... Did you make this name just for this fic?
5013274
Well I'm glad you understand the concept. I just wonder how she's holding up with somepony just overshadowing her.
5013285
There is always another side to the story.
5013676
No, the thought just came to me. I use the name No1special for a different reason.
5012966
I try.
5013123
She's there, we know she's there but we just don't see her in action enough.
I cant wait for more!
5013914
My guess is she is not holding up very well. It's one thing to lose and election or retire, or even be deposed, but Twilight simply overshadowed her though sheer competence. Mayor Mare is a leader, Twilight is a ruler. The depression will be crushing because she can't even get mad at Twilight.
5015042
Ask and you shall receive.
It's been a while since I've read your work. I must say I really enjoyed this one. First person is extremely difficult to write, and you pulled it off magnificently. I especially loved the realistic touches this story has. I can imagine that there are a lot of older people who go through the same thing. Getting older, looking back at all you used to do, wishing to do more, and being overshadowed by someone younger and more enthusiastic are rational problems she would face. Great job! I enjoyed the read.
5084725
Much appreciated. I've been wondering what happened to the mayor this entire time. She just seemed to disappear. First you're leading a village, next a princess moves in with a giant castle and pushes you to the side.
An interesting concept that I'm surprised isn't used more often. Good job on what you have so far. I'll be sure to read more when it is ready.
Fascinating. I enjoy the fact that Luna shares these feelings with Mayor Mare. Can't wait for more.
5084894
I try to write stuff that's original but not so far out there that it's terrible. It's a lot of trial and error kind of thing. Also thanks.
5085383
Both of them were pushed to the side while a more popular figure took the reins from them unknowingly. That's at least how I look at it.
5089273 You're welcome!
Here are my thoughts:
Overall not bad. This is a solid start to the story, so I can say that's alright. But what I would mention is that there are some missing words, incorrect, and also double words scattered around every now and then. I personally don't mind it too much but others would flip a shit over it.
Example:
"We can expect the expected completion date" should be "We can expect the completion date..."
"I fell so useless" instead of "I felt so useless".
Other than that I would point out that there was an opportunity to flesh out the segment where the drunk mayor falls out of her chair instead of just saying she fell "comically" .
But other than that it isn't that bad. Other than the wrong uses of words I didn't see any grammar errors or misspellings.
5126494
Thanks for your review. First time writing from a 1st person pov.
Oh my, this is just getting better and better...
5311383
Thanks for that, what did you think of this chapter?
5312115
Loved it. There is far too few stories on Mayor Mare, and especially of thus kind.
Wow, you've really cast the mayor as a depressed character, though we don't yet have a lot else to go on. I'm interested to see where this goes...
Attempting to stand up, I feel to the floor comically before managing to stand up right.
(I fall to) (upright)
5339712
Fixing and thanks. How would you feel to be just sidelined by someone after all of those years as an appointed official of a town? Honestly, how would anyone feel?
Nice back story, though I wouldn't have her looking that bad after only one month, and then throw two more months on top- make it two weeks : ). Updates soon?
5341646
Already 2k words into the second to last chapter. This wasn't going to be long in the first place.
5339712 I agree with the statement. This sets to be a really deep story.
5131708 Nice to see this delved into. She is certainly not given enough reason to become NMM.
typo.
5342346 Awaiting more.
5382806
I'm already done but I'm rewriting bits and pieces because I'm trying to set the scene for the final sequence. Other than that, what did you think about second chapter's setting? The imagery of the palace?
5382819 I am a mostly action person and focused on that. Other than that I want to know how Blueblood is different now and how he's over 1 thousand years old. Wasn't he also the one that said that Luna was ((essentially)) a traitor? Where is his pompous attitude and stuff?
5382839
Blueblood's ancestor was the 1st captain of the guard in this story. He was a noble, courageous and proud. His current descendant is a total pansy.
5382857 NIIIIICE!
Though i was for sometime confused while mayor was looking for Twi the rest was awesome.
There are so few Mayor Mare stories, so I'm glad you suggested this one. I did want to ask though, is she married? You refer to her as Mrs. Mare, so I'm curious. Same goes for Cheerilee.
5447784
No, didn't even think about that.
While there are some grammatical errors peppered through out the story, the idea is excellent. I look forward to reading the rest.
Clever clever Woona, helping the Mayor see her value by showing her that even princesses need help, and Twilight getting vaualbe help she needs to be a better leader, the support and experience of others.
Another great chapter on your part. Excellent as always and a pleasure to read.
5448917
I think everyone puts them on a pedestal so high that they forget that they have their flaws as well.
5487731
5488788
Naturally that leads to the expectation that they will be perfect and have all the answers and that their solutions are the best ones because they thought of them. That expectation overwhelms some one as detail obsessed as Twilight, she tries to have all the answers, to have the best solutions and feels like a failure when she doesn't know the right answer. That's when the experience of another can help most. Ponyville now looks to Twilight as their leader and Twilight needs the Mayor and her experience to be that leader, which Luna has shown her.
5488789
Okay. You wanted an honest opinion, you get one. HazardPony is an engineering student of his word.
First of all, I liked this story a lot. I've always had a bit of a soft spot for the mayor, and have more than once been tempted to try my hand at writing a story about her. This story, the first chapter especially, describes how I'd imagine I'd feel, and have, when the spotlight is taken away from me. For this, you are to be congratulated.
From chapter two onwards, however, things go ever so slightly downhill: and bear with me, because I'm nitpicking. This was a nice story after all. The transition from awake to dream kind of took me by surprise, and could have done with a better transition, something cleaner and more impressive.
The dream sequences themselves were good, although it made me question the purpose of the story. Around halfway through, I felt that the tale would have actually been better as a 'Mayor Mare helps the princesses get over their own insecurities', especially for the last chapter. Mayor's own growth was obscured by her helping Twilight and observing Luna and Celestia. Whilst this was fine to read, it made Mayor's transition from angry to redeemed rather sudden and brutal, and is possibly the one thing I'd try to improve the most here.
That said, this story was no disappointment: for a first person, it was done well, if a little heavy near the beginning, the conflicts that the characters had were all interesting, and the writing was good. Don't sell yourself short with this one: it's a good story.
One thing though: I wasn't going to correct typos or grammar because I'm lazy, but I felt it was best to point this out. The advice one of your previous commenters gave was wrong:
I can only assume he/she meant 'feel' instead of 'fell', because 'fell' is the past of 'to fall', which has nothing to do with feeling.
I know this story is marked incomplete, but frankly it felt complete enough with Mayor's growth and her helping dream twily along. I'm not even sure why you'd want to continue the story: it felt finished, but with the promise of more for some reason.
In short, cool story bro. This was an easy like.
5520633
Grammar and phasing, my Achilles's heel.
The thing of it is with this story was that I wanted was that even people that we think are perfect still just like us. That we all come with flaws and instead of letting it destroy us, we should learn to accept them as part of ourselves. She gave up on herself after being pushed to the side, everyone just forgot about her. Luna wanted to show her that no one is worthless and that even though we may not see it, others do care about her.
5525058 First off, your grammar isn't bad. It's not flawless, and there are mistakes, but they're few and far between. Nothing practice won't fix.
I think you have all the elements you wish to convey: Mayor's problems, and observing the Princesses own problems, but between these visions and Mayor's transformation, there's a step missing. It's like the sudden transition from awake to dream: it's unclear what Mayor really learned from this.
If you think about it in this sense: yes, we see that all the Princesses have flaws, and have made mistakes... this, you achieve well. It's what Mayor takes away from these events that's unclear... or rather, the most unclear thing about this story. I repeat again, this was a solid story.
She spends most of the story reacting to what she sees... right until the end, that is. And whilst it changes her perspective, it doesn't really change her perspective on her job and initial situation. It just makes it abundantly clear that she's a great psychologist. Psychiatrist? I don't know. Hence me thinking it was a great 'mayor helps Twilight' story. That's what I felt was taken away from the story, what it's overall objective was.
I'm getting a bit vague, and frankly I think I've reached the limits of what I can feasibly explain. Again, this was a seriously nice story, and deserved my like. Sorry I can't explain this much better.
5580953 Good on both. I mean it was pretty awesome to see Mayor Mare given some attention and genuine characterisation. I enjoyed this.