• Published 16th Sep 2014
  • 18,482 Views, 404 Comments

Rarity Loses Her Innocence In a Poker Game - MrNumbers



A game of drunken poker between friends, a good hand, a desperate wager. The perfect storm.

  • ...
40
 404
 18,482

The Morning After

Pins and needles in her eyes, her heartbeat drumming away in her ears, and a taste in her mouth best left undescribed. Yes, it appeared Rarity had a decidedly unsophisticated hangover.

She rolled over, pulling her excessively large, soft white pillow over her head, making desperate prayers to Celestia, Luna, or whatever creature locked away in Tartarus who would answer. There was absolutely no way this morning could get any worse.

Then Rarity remembered what she had done last night, proving herself exceedingly wrong. She shot up, ignoring the stabby-stabby sunlight pouring into her eyes, blinking groggily. She had to find Rainbow.

What sort of low life mare takes a pony's virginity when they're that... tipsy?

Rarity hobbled downstairs to the kitchen, pouring water into a kettle and placing it on the heating element. Tea would help. Tea always helped. Whilst the water was heating she plodded back up to her ensuite. Just because she had lost her virginity was no excuse not to look her very best. Makeup and grooming equipment fit for a small, fabulous army shot out of drawers and off of shelves; Rarity ignored the shooting pain in her head that concentrating on her magic with a hangover was giving her.

Let nopony say she didn't suffer for her fabulosity.

Speaking of suffering, and the infliction thereof, Rarity had to find Rainbow Dash. Soon. Storming back down to the kitchen, greeted by the ear-piercing whistling shriek of the kettle, Rarity quickly nudged it off the heat, waiting for the scream to die down. She waited until she no longer wished to evacuate her mostly empty stomach from the noise. She did not think that through very well.

Tea was poured with milk, two sugars and a little help from the liquor cabinet to make the morning bearable. Much better.

Now to see how Twilight Sparkle was coping.

A short time later, Rarity found herself at the great door of Twilight's castle. She knocked, twice, letting the dull thuds ring out, a beautiful hollow crystal chime. It was echoed by a loud, pained groan from inside.

A few seconds passed before Spike opened the door. "Oh, hey Rarity. I, uh, don't think Twilight's up to seeing anypony right now. She's, uh, grown up sick."

Rarity waited until Spike glanced away before she allowed herself the opportunity to roll her eyes. "I'm aware of Twilight's condition, Spikey-Wikey, but I'm afraid this is a matter of the utmost urgency. My very dignity is at stake here!"

Spike's eyes widened and he stepped away from the door, ushering Rarity inside. "Well, if it's so important, I suppose..."

"Thank you very much, dear. Now, where is she?"

"She's in bed. Pinkie Pie's making her pancakes, if you want some."

Rarity's still-sore eyes twitched at that. "So Pinkie Pie slept here last night, did she?"

Spike smirked. "I found her on the floor. I tried to move her but she was, uh, a bit big."

"You were a gentledragon to try, Spike, but I'm afraid when Pinkie Pie does not wish to be moved, well, she shan't be moved. Though, I will admit, I am regretting skipping breakfast."

"The kitchen's this way."

Spike led the way through gorgeous crystal halls. It was hard to believe this place had literally just popped out of the ground like magic. Though if one remembered it wasn't just like magic, but the real honest-to-Celestia deal, then it became rather less amazing to consider. Frankly it almost felt like cheating.

The kitchens were the same crystal as the rest of the castle – Rarity couldn't see how Twilight could stand to live in a place so uniformly gaudy – with a crystal ice-box, a crystal oven, crystal stoves and a decidedly not crystal pony dancing between them, whistling loudly and happily to herself.

"Alright, now, Spike, I'm sure you would like to be a big help in what comes next, but what comes next is me dealing with Twilight in her current... condition."

Spike nodded, taking the chance to scurry off. "Yep, good luck with that." Then, as he was walking away, scarce so that Rarity heard him, "You're gonna need it."

Rarity turned now to the pink ball of energy bouncing and bobbing around the kitchen.

"Good morning, Pinkie Pie," Rarity said with an utter lack of enthusiasm. This didn't seem to bother Pinkie Pie at all.

"Oh, good morning Rarity. Isn't it such a wonderful day? The sun's just so bright today, wouldn't you agree?"

Rarity's look spoke volumes to her level of agreement.

Pinkie plowed on, unfazed. "Would you like some pancakes? With extra maple syrup?"

"That sounds lovely, Pinkie Pie."

Rarity didn't need to ask why Pinkie Pie wasn't hungover. Pinkie Pie was immune to such trivial things. Even after a night of heavy drinking she could bounce right back and make pancakes with a big, silly smile plastered all over her face.

On mornings like these, when you just wanted to wallow in your misery, it made her almost insufferable.

"So, what you back here for, so soon?" Pinkie asked conversationally, deftly flipping a pancake with a skill and dexterity Rarity could only admire, and resent a little bit. "Did you lose something?"

Rarity sighed. "In a very real sense, yes, I did."

"Oh. Well, we'll stuff some food into Twilight and see if she can't help you look, then, how's that sound?"

"Absolutely wonderful. I don't suppose she's in a very talkative mood right now, is she?"

"Nah, Twilight's a mean old sourpuss right now. I think she had just a teeny tiny way too much lot to drink last night."

"I think we all did, Pinkie." Rarity stared at the sizzling pancakes, salivating just a little.

"Okay, these look done. Let's go see Twilight! I'll make some more for you whilst you and Twilight look."

Pinkie flipped a pancake onto a plate and drizzled maple syrup on it, then threw the plate up and caught it on top of her head, balancing it.

Rarity's hangover throbbed dully just at the sight of her.

She followed Pinkie Pie up a long, long, agonizingly long flight of stairs to the top of the castle. No wonder Twilight stayed so trim in spite of her... spectacular eating habits.

At the top of the stairs, and in the center of another long corridor, lay a pair of glistening crystal doors, which Rarity deduced was probably Twilight's bedroom. Pinkie trotted up to them and knocked loudly, thud thud. She was rewarded for her efforts with a huge groan from Twilight.

The door opened and Twilight flung the blankets over her heard, groaning even louder. The crystal curtains were all drawn, and the dark, stuffy room reeked of sweat and the salty-spiciness of red wine, a smell which made Rarity's head throb again.

"Hi, Twilight!" Pinkie called out with as much bright enthusiasm as she could conceivably muster, and then a little more for good measure, "Your pancakes are ready! Oh, and I brought Rarity. Ready, Rarity?"

The plate of pancakes was wordlessly levitated off of Pinkie's head and zipped towards the bed. "She's all yours." Pinkie nodded, heading back down the excessive flight of stairs. Twilight really needed an elevator...

Rarity smoothly, quietly, navigated herself to Twilight's Princess-sized-bedside. "Hello, dear. I'm sorry for bothering you at a time like this, but I suspected you'd be in a more amenable mood if I arrived with the pancakes."

Twilight groaned, head still under the covers. A corner lifted up and the plate shot under it. Rarity rolled her eyes.

"Yes, dear, I had as much to drink as you last night, I know that feeling."

"You didn't have to wake up to Pinkie Pie," Twilight pointed out miserably, between what sounded like massive bites.

"Yes, I imagine that was quite... She is rather peppy, isn't she?"

Twilight just groaned again, and Rarity rolled her eyes, glad Twilight couldn't see through the blanket.

"Rarity, do you know what a catch-22 is?"

"Hrrm? Well, I should think so, but why bring it up?"

"Because I know a hangover cure spell," Twilight explained, mouth obviously full, "but I'm too hungover to cast it."

"Ah. That is most unfortunate, isn't it?"

"Why are you here, Rarity?" Twilight sighed, an empty plate wheedling its way back out of the covers.

"Rainbow Dash-"

"Oh! Right! I remember now. Oh... oh, I am never notarizing drunk again. I am so sorry I did that."

"I assure you, dear, you cannot possibly be as sorry as I. I was going to request a cloudwalking spell, or perhaps to borrow your balloon, so that I might chase after Rainbow, but I see you're in no condition-"

There was a bright purple flash underneath the covers, and a pained shout. Twilight's head popped up from under the rim, ears perked up, eyes wide and attentive.

"Hangover cure spell cast. The pancakes really helped. Would you like to be next?"

"Pinkie Pie's already making me pancakes downstairs, but thank you for your generous offer."

"No, I meant the hangover cure spell. I can cast it on other ponies, too."

Rarity blinked. "You would be my savior, if that were true."

There was another bright purple flash. Rarity felt like her brains were being scrambled by a rubber whisk before, a second later, reforming in their correct and proper place. She swayed a little side to side on her hooves, leaning against the bed.

"Wow. That was... quite something?"

"Feel better?"

"Much," Rarity confirmed. "Now, about Rainbow..."

"Oh, don't worry, I plan on getting your virginity back too. I notarized it, I'm at least partially responsible. Also, and this is no small factor, I think the element of loyalty needs to sit through a friendship lesson. Particularly about buying your friend's virginity when she's too drunk--" Rarity gave Twilight a look heavy with meaning. A Look, even. Twilight gulped nervously, "I mean, tipsy."

Rarity's Look softened, and she sat at the corner of the bed. "How do you propose we do that?"

"Balloon, cloudwalking spell..." There was a purple flash, and a can with a strange, conical nozzle hovered in the air at about eye height between Twilight and Rarity, "and, finally, an airhorn."