I am nothing special, just a proud Brony and eager writer, so please don't hate me too much if my work is terrible.
Trixie makes an effort to give up her life of selfish boasting and takes modesty lessons from Applejack to better herself and gain (real) respect from other ponies.
Rated for everyone, because; no swearing, no gore or dark stuff, and especially no sex.
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This is a Mane 6 intervention alert!!!
Criticism time!
First off, let me say that I like the concept, and even though its been done to death, it's always good to see another take on it.
Additionally, the backdrop details are quite nice. I felt like I was at the farm, I could see Trixie sitting by the fountain. The scenery writing is good.
However (you knew this was coming), I felt the heel turn from Trixie was rather sudden. Either she didn't learn anything from the Magic Duel episode, or she doesn't show it. The fact that she is so ridiculously quick to pull a 180 in attitude from is a little jarring. Even before her leaving the farm to reflect on never helping, I felt she went from boastful to somber in like two seconds.
I do like her leaving to go think about it, but she left already referring to herself in the first person, as opposed to her 3rd person speech. It feels like she was genuinely brought down, and while it is the point, it was so fast and such a shift from how she entered that I can't help but feel off-put. Perhaps if she showed some lingering doubts about herself before Applejack told her the hard truth, and have that be the straw that broke the camel's back, it might work more. Or maybe if she was still arrogant when she left, but AJ's words stewed in her until seeing the acts of charity brought on the revelation and THEN she changed attitude. Just something to give her more reason or more time to change her attitude I think would make it read better. But that's just my opinion.
Aside from the sudden 180 from Trixie, I still like the writing. The backgrounds and set-ups are nicely written, but the plot set-up feels a bit rushed.
You did a much better 1st story than I did, and I will keep an eye on this to see how it develops. Good luck, and happy writing.
5016534 Thank you, it means a lot to me to get some nice constructive feedback.
Although, I've seen Magic Duel and I'm aware that she likely must've had a change of heart since then, but I imagine since that boasting is effectively her job she must've picked up the pace. I'm sure she has stopped trying to force her ground on other ponies now and is probably a lot more considerate, but I don't really believe that she has stopped boasting and she wasn't exactly raised to know how to be modest or generous.
Not sure she was raised at all, actually. She's never brought up a childhood, has she?
5039980
The only time I've heard her childhood backstory is in the Mentally Advanced Series, but I'm not sure if you want to use the Batman backstory an canon.
5042082 It depends. I try to steer clear of anything non-canon, but when it really makes sense...
I usually don't read stories like this unless there is a potential ship being built. I think I will keep an eye on it, for now. The fact that Trixie showed up on the farm out of nowhere does puzzle me though. Why would she think she even has fans (other than Snips and Snails...maybe) in Ponyville after the Amulet incident?
I honestly believe working at the rock farm did cause Trixie to lose a little of her sanity. That's probably part of the reason why she went looking for the Alicorn Amulet.
5243886 Mm-hmm. The boredom must've made her think about the Ursa thing too hard and she got too revenge-centered.
5243870 I'm building on the fact that Twilight forgave her, making her think that both Twilight and her friends adore her
as so many other doand leading to her becoming... overly confident when talking with them.5244023 That is stretching it, at best. I think even Trixie would think twice before even showing her face in Ponyville. Let alone think that Twilight and her friends were her fans.
5244018 Actually, I was thinking that the boredom, plus other factors, kept reminding her of what she had and lost, and wanted back again.
Just beware of Dame Licks-a-Lot.
5244372 You make valid points, and perhaps Trixie is rather OOC in this story. I don't know, maybe I'll build into shipping in later chapters.