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It's almost time....the contract has just one stipulation left. Just...one. After that...well Discord gets to make good on the promise he made to Fluttershy all those years ago,he promised her she would live on through more than just memory,but she made him sign a contract. It's so tempting to give that last part a tiny little push...but he knows better,the stipulations must happen naturally...but still,the wait has driven him sane.
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This was rather dark actually....
The whole life force contract and all.
I give you points for it being a unique idea, that's for sure.
Brilliant and captivating- 4.star performance!
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Thank you, Glad I could give a teeny bit of enjoyment to your day.
4967174
I wasn't aiming for dark,that much I know.But I guess it could be seen as such.
Honestly I thought it would be more sad,but not enough to warrant the tag.
This is a good story, with an interesting idea, and I enjoyed it a lot ... but there were a lot of niggling little grammar, punctuation and spelling errors that kinda spoil the flow.
Plus, I felt some of the info-dumps could've been weaved through the story, rather than just stated outright.
Still, it's a lovely effort.
Hmmm It was pretty good. I was a bit confused though so is that actually fluttershy or is it just discord as fluttershy
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The latter.
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I just..wrote it as it came to me,you are right though,re reading over it it does feel a bit...odd flow wise,but as far as just two hours of free writing with a vague idea in mind goes...
I'm just glad that people like you are enjoying it.
I don't think the picture suggested anything more than comedy and perversy
But i guess sad story can be made out of it too
It's fragments like that that brighten a day. What a sweet story. Pun intended.
4967439
Even the dark forces of death bend to Fluttershy's adorableness.
A sweet shop just seems so...Discord.
Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed.
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It does doesn't it, but like I said earlier, it was a vague idea,I just sat down and wrote to get it out of my head and was surprised myself when it turned out as it did.
and I'm honestly amazed someone else didn't pounce on this picture before.
But as always,glad you took the time to read it,and glad you enjoyed it.
4967439
Same here.
What does the picture have to do with anything? In fact, you might be able to say that it tricked me a little bit... but oh well.
When I read this I had to read it as fast as I possibly could because for some odd raisin, speed is key!
Well Im completely lost, what happened?
Okay so.. The ending has me a bit confuzzled.
Is that Discord as Fluttershy? Discord and Fluttershy in one body? Did Discord turn into a candy shop that is now ponied by a resurrected Fluttershy?
4969011 Well, go and read one of my FanFiction Poop stories, they'll give you HIV, AID's, Ebola virus, the works.
Seems interesting...
I don't get precisely what changed at the last minute.
Huh, I'm a little confused at the ending but still a cool story
Hmm, that's an interesting concept.
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From what I can gather, Discord took the form of Fluttershy once the contract's terms had been fulfilled. I think it was his way of allowing her, or her image/memory really, to live forever.
I'm not sure I understand what just happened.
4971304
That is exactly it.
Great job. I'm still a little confused, however, as to how this new immortality works. Is it Fluttershy in Discord's body while Discord gave his life to Fluttershy, dying himself, or is it Discord taking the form of Fluttershy while she watches from within him? Or is it something entirely different?
This is hands down, one of the best pieces of fiction I've read in a long time. A like for you sir.
It's hard to wrap my mind around how much time this story encompasses. Like "Cutie Mark Crusaders, Generation 110".
Reading because of this.
Wow, that was a nice story. Had to read it twice to make sure I understood everything, but hey! Props for originality.
I enjoyed the concept, though I found the execution a bit lacking. Given the scope of the story, taking place over a period of more than a century all told, everything seems kinda underdeveloped. It doesn't 'feel' like it covers the time it claims to cover, if that makes sense.
I think it could have worked better if circumstances made all the events in it happen closer to the same time, and thus allowing more focus on the characters. There were also a few things that should have been explored further on their own, in my opinion.
This is just my two cents.
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Think of it like....Shapeshifter form lock.
He's still himself,technically,but he's permanently stuck in that form.
So is discord just using Fluttershy's body, or is she in there too?
4975642 She's still gone.
It's all Discord.
Interesting story. Discord has taking the form and personality of Fluttershy.
the story was great!!! dont get me wrong... but thumbs up just for that profile pic
4967174 It's definitely dark, but it's anything but Grimdark.
4978595 Well, obviously not grimdark.
But it still has dark undertones, what with the contract and all.
What did twilight do?
4979297
I left that up to the readers imagination.
Though it always seems more horrible the less you know.
Special comment...I'm kind of flabbergasted at how quickly this story gained views,it was honestly just an attempt to shake off some writers block and honestly,I half assed this.
I expected maybe 20 or so views with 3 or 4 comments telling how it had potential but missed it's mark.
I'm deadset astonished it got this much attention.
4981937
Be aware views count if they glance at your story, not necessarily read the first chapter. Favorited and thumbs and comments are much better judges.
Lovely, very strange but lovely
Wow what a great story i give my thanks to the writer
awww, this is a very sweet story
I would say it's a cute little story but nothing is cute... except Octavia but that's besides the point. Love the story
very sweet and a little sad. it really shows how much Discord has come to appreciate ponies in general and especially a certain pink and yellow pegasus.
It's sweet, a little bit sad, and about Discord. I don't think I could ask for more. Nicely done.
so discord is now fluttershy forever now he made a sacrifice to give up caos for his friend i think that relly chnges discords outview good work.
The tense is really weird, it seems to constantly switch between past and present, and commas need a space after them.
I didn't really enjoy this it was to jumpy. Though for something written in only a couple hours its not bad, so yeah.
A bit confused on what happened but as you said, there was no refining done on this story so I'll just enjoy it as is. Maybe someday I'll think up what really happened.