My name is Gaiven Gonzales. i was just another starving artist who worked for the owner of an asian market until six girls and one boy appeared in my apartment. now i have to help them survive the transition from pony society (and bodies) to that of humans, and hopefully help send the seven of them back home.
(this story takes place before the season 3 finale, so twilight is still just a unicorn in equestria, but discord is reformed and king sombra defeated. And yes, this is a shameless self insertion. I just think i would make a good "sensible elder brother" type character that can help the mane six stay sane. and actually the main character isn't really me, but he is based on me and what i want to be in the future. if that turns you off you can take your skyward bound nose elsewhere!
cover art belongs to RosioChika http://rosiochika.deviantart.com/ )
Extremely fast pacing is the only thing I can really say as a critique. The premise is a bit cliché, but so are half the stories here. If you can make the Cliché your own, you might have a good story here. Best of luck, and I did like what I read. So thumbs up.
4983732 thanks for the tip! i think it actually helped with writing the next chapter and definitely made it longer.
Here's the thing, most self-inserts like this one, gets flak for some reason? But the only advise I can give you is keep on writing your story and what you believe in. I'll be looking out for your progress, in the meantime, try to get more chapters done.
A little grammar and spell check could be good too.... Then again, I get mistakes about grammar and spelling as well
4987756 Thank you. I'll definitely keep working on this and I Hope you enjoy What's to come.
I'm actually finding I am enjoying the reading. Excellent job. I've said before, if you are going to go cliche, make it your own. And you have. Excellent job, and I'm looking forward to more updates as they appear!
Still very fast pacing, would love to see a little more explanation. Other than that...excellent work!!!
I love it. Please give us more.