The First of many to come guys! Hope you enjoy the new version! Just let me know if you have any questions or quarrels with the story now.

I like it better already!

Or do I...............................................

I like it but I think the eye hanging out of the socket was a bit too gory.

other than that I cant wait to read your new version!

have you already rewritin other chapters or is this the only one

>>829942829942 This is the only finished one so far. Working on the next one but I have no set schedule so no date on when that should be out.

>>829917829917 Yea I got a bit carried away there didn't I?

>>830732830732 well I just hope that its not that brutal when hes in eguestria. I hope scootaloo still ends up getting adopted by what's his name!

..Wow, so far I'm liking this, again!

>>827657827657 Not bad not bad

DUDE wtf happend to the story if i remember he was a bouncer for DJ-PON3 he had Scoots as a daughter

>>833945833945 Ah, you must have not noticed the notice chapter when it was still up. You see, I felt the story was going down the shitter, and wanted to improve it since I have such a large audience now. So, I'm currently going through a rewrite. Major plot points will stay the same but the pacing, descriptiveness, and the story all around will be improved.

>>835074835074 ok thx

>> Sulliman The other story was 'Equestria's first human" but now that this is back i only have one story that im waiting on...

*notices Oh Hiatus Tag*

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU damn it

>>849769849769 The only reason there is a Hiatus tag is because chapters may take a while to come out. I don't like to force myself to write because I feel it affects my writing. The Hiatus tag is there for now, but may be removed in the near future.

I'm also a fan of Equestria's first human

>>830732830732 the beating was fucking awswome i could almost enjoy it along with him

They sure are accepting over the whole "I punched a guy to death" thing.

That aside, this is still a nice chapter.

>>867385867385

True, but would YOU want to antagonize someone who just claimed to kill someone and then ran from the authorities?

But the mane 6 have dealt with Pinky for a while, so at the very least they have some tolerance

Wow this is good.

>>867385867385 well think about it twilight is a bad flank and her teacher and friend are two super powerful goddesses plus she's like super powerful why should she be scared of him.

>>867385867385 They are still cautious of him, but he has done nothing to harm them thus far, so there are seeds of trust, though they are malnourished. (METAPHORS! HAHA!)

The whole "I killed a guy" is making it hard for me to keep reading. I liked it better when he just beat him within an inch of his life. Don't get me wrong I will keep on reading your amazing story, I just hope that in the future he doesn't so easily hurt somepony

i like this.

lol dont mind that its just what happens when youre cronically schizophrenic.

>>867898867898that happens to me everytime I get a headache

so pretty much every two weeks or so

>>867898867898 I know what its like

i missed this story. NOW FOR THE RANDOM CAT THINGY!!!!!

Image: http://partner-ad.photobucket.com/albums/f144/ELEMENT151/taokaka.gif

>>868542868542 Thats taokaka from Blazblue :D

>>868650868650 i know, nobody else seems to though. well besides you that is...

>>869419869419 Who wouldnt know blazblue?! that game is awesome!

>>869439869439 and you are now my favorite writer.... now then

Image: https://encrypted-tbn2.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSll0r4DE0jJ6lWQzdrW_96fbfmbkupT7PHyG1IMPLLt7sMo8p-

dude. woah.

Why didn't you just knock the guy unconscious? killing him seems a bit far fetched.

His character sat better in my mind when he had just beat the guy. Bloody Mess perk style mutilation that he claims was the highlight of his life is a much different premise. I'm not telling you to switch it back, I'm just saying that I can't see that big of a difference in moods making for the same type of story as the original. Also, I think you may need to add a dark tag.

>>870809870809 Perhaps you are right on the dark tag, but it wont get any darker. I will admit that i went too far, but I am trying to establish major psychological problems with the character. I understand your concern, and I thank you for your feedback on the matter. Colton is slightly(if not majorly) insane in this version of the story. This will allow for more character development than before, and will add some character vs self into the story. I said that with what I had planned i might lose readers, but that's a risk I'm willing to take to see my ideas come to fruition.

That was really gory, even for me. And I don't think police would just shoot at some kid, and they have better aim than soldiers. But, never the less, I've still got me eye on this.

>>868145868145 that bastard bully got what he deserved.....

i have yet to reach that point me during: after:

Police don't open fire unless they or some one else is in immediate danger.  Unless they're shitty police.  

And, yeah, the eyeballs hanging out was overkill.  Might want to edit that out.

But I'm really excited about the revamp!

>>880279880279 The chapter takes place in New Jersey. You think the cops are good?

kats are awesome

>>884950884950 eeyup

I have one question about all this why did you re-write the whole thing

Sincerely the Doctor

>>893578893578 I felt as though I could improve the story as a whole. Yea the first few chapters of the original werent bad but they could have been better

Are you ever gonna post another chapter?

>>963455963455 Yea I will. I've just been lacking the motivation to write recentley. Hopefully will have another one out soon. I'm about 700 words in so far so it shouldnt be too long.

I'm so sorry this took so long. I finally managed to get my lazy ass into gear and get writing. I would blame the summer steam sale but really it was a lack of motivation on my part. Hopefully the next chapter won't take nearly as long. Again, sorry for the wait.

>>979732979732

Aw Hell, I forgot about that! Damn, I wanted to get New Vegas.

Ah Colton, how I missed reading about you. You are such an interesting character, and with all these new twist and turns the story is taking I look forward to  seeing what happens.

I liked this chapter a lot, especially the dream sequence. Please make more.

You know it would be cool if you put the original version on here but just put complete, I kinda wanna read it again. I shall wait for the next amazing chapter in the mean time.

not psycological wounds tho

those take a lifetime and a half to heal...something not all of us have

It's good to see that you're changing the interactions between your characters so much from the original story.  I always kind of dislike it when the Mane Six and the OC get along flawlessly from the start.  And now you're developing his insanity much more than you did in the previous version.  The two combined should give your story a more interesting plot and faster pace than you had in the original.  

I really hope no more chapters give me this many problems. Anyways, sorry for the long wait guys. Life got in the way as well as myself, but I hope you all enjoy.

Hhmm that sounded like it hurt. Is he going to kill someone.

can I kill them racist muthas?

can I write a complain against the unruly citizens of ponyville?

Talk about overreacting much?

Image: http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2008/07/10/iran20d.jpg

>>10679001067900 Thats what They would do if they saw 4 humans not 1

hold on...why does it say seven months? do you mean several? even if it were several, why did they never put him into Ponyville until now?

Never knew the citizens of ponyville would react aggressively in this way They usually just run and hide in their homes.

This guy, he can evade going to Ponyville for several months?! I'm sure that he would have been caught or seen before then, but whatever.  Also, these ponies are xenophobic asshats.

>>10679001067900

Image: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-VslzIdd-q_8/TwcmR57rM3I/AAAAAAAAQ9U/7ZRwGdKcoxk/s1600/Overreaction.jpg

Commencing mass genocide Twilight lecture and hospital rush in 3. 3. 3. 3. 3. 3. 3............................DAMN IT

>>10793631079363I'm pretty sure that a Twilight lecture will kill them all. Especially if she goes Rapidash-Twilight on them.

>>10796601079660

HEEEELLL YEAH!

I would really appreciate it if you made like a schedule for when you are going to publish a chapter. I mean If that's okay with you.

>>10806881080688I second this motion!

>>10831541083154>>10806881080688 Sorry guys, But I post new chapters erratically due to random things in my life. I'm never really sure when I'll be able to get the next chapter out, but I'm hoping to increase the rate at which they're released

And thus World War 3 began, Alduin appeared and the End Tume wad nigh, Discord was freed and was drinking tea with Sheogorath, buffalos danced along roof tops, and Jackie Chan and Jet Li recombined to reform Bruce Lee and did battle with Chuck Norris.. And then Colton tore the pitchdork from his shoulder, yelled his nordic battle cry and Fus Ro Dah-ed the bitches onto the moon. Thats when Shit got real.

Image: http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/250x250/9194400.jpg

Frankly, I have never seen the ponies act so extreme, except once. (Seriously, why are they always so racist?) This is not going to end well.

And I hope Twilight will give them a pretty harsh chew-out. (Or mabye even Celestia.)

You say this is a slight self-insert?  Please tell me you didn't really kill that guy...

>>11161221116122

It's a work of fiction. I've never actually attacked anyone, no matter how pissed I am.

>>11163291116329 That reguires much self-control. And just for that, you have earned my respect.

UGH. So far, the original is looking to be way better than the rewrite.

>>11901731190173

I'm sorry you don't like it. Do you think you could tell me what you don't like?

>>11901841190184 This just seems to be darkness and conflict for the sake of "edginess", which as it always does just results in bathos. The total hostility here doesn't really work. Then there's the fact that the original fic seemed to actually be building up to something. What made you reboot it anyway?

>>11902211190221

The utter horribleness of the story. It was a cluttered mess of horrible pacing and rushed work.

While it may seem bleak in the beginning, the story probably wont get darker than it already did.

Also, the original fic wasn't building up to something until it started getting popular. I had some ideas, but it wasn't really building up to anything.

I'm sorry you aren't liking this version as much as the original, and I'm hoping that you'll stick with it to see if you'll like it more. I never like to lose readers, but I understand when they don't want to read anymore.

>>10683581068358 he was at the farm the entire time

Well this is interesting. And wow dat reaction!

lol.. dafaq

>>16403711640371

Is that a good or bad dafuq?

Last part is a dream?

>>16408601640860

Yes. Sorry if i didn't make that clear.

It's good to see this story's back.

>>16412801641280

It feels good to be writing again.

Yay! Update!

It was Celly wasnt it...

YAY UPDATE BOOYAH!!!

um.... wow.... this is some deep shit here.... I plan on reading all the rest....

Wow, reading this story about someone else's insanity makes it easier on my own! I feel less insane now!

I continue to read your story as my insanity slowly digresses. And yet, I still feel horridly psychopathic

LOL I love the reaction to the pitchfork! I'm going to use that from now on. *Gets shot in the forehead* "And, there's a bullet in my head. Ok then.... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Fuck yeah, this is awesome! I hope you're going to add more on and won't just leave a cliffhanger as the end of it!

>>17183871718387

Well, glad to see you're enjoying the story.

>>17190971719097 and I'm glad you write this!!!

O,O so violent.

Good job Colton, way to tell Fluttershy that you're a psycho who just killed somebody. *thwaps here because they aren't in Skype right now*

What’syournamemineispinkieyournewherewhichmeansIcanthrowyouapartyand-”

You forgot to capitalize Pinkie...

Awesomesauce chapter ^^

XD yes. That ending. Yes.

My money says Luna is coming