All the lies, all the deciete have finally come to the light. Equestria was never as she thought. It was never truly safe, or peaceful it was always corrupt, it was always a crippled nation full of lies no one can be trusted.
Chapters (5)
- Member Since 21st Aug, 2014
- offline last seen Mar 19th, 2021
LunarGazer1500
Oh, so you've come to judge me have you, well no matter i have a few ways of keeping you occupied, hope your prepared.
LunarGazer1500
Joined 21st Aug, 2014 ·
Offline
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A little too quick.
Short and kind of simplistic. With no justification for anything, just the "things are secretly bad because they are" doesn't capture much interest in the idea. With out exploring the hows and whys of the situation there really isn't anything to care about.
5030307
And a lot to pointless
Nope.
The fuck?
Well, grammar and spelling is impeccable!
What's with all the sod going around fimfic right now?
5030427 Yep.
Well... It's that time of the day again!
Judging Fics By Their Covers: My Impression of Your Description
Part 12 of 9999: Forget Your Story
Deciete is not a word. It's "Deceit". Can anybody use Spellcheck these days? Bad grammar might be excusable, but when programs underline your misspelled words in red, there's no excuse for incorrect spelling.
Speaking of grammar, that last sentence is like, four sentences in one. Get rid of that run-on with some periods and semi-colons or something.
Who is the "she" in the description? The description gives no clue as to who the main character is.
The chapters are way too short. That usually means the fic is rushed. 1000 words minimum is the usual standard, but I recommend 2000 usually.
That cover art look ugly in my opinion (that has no effect on my review, though)
Impression: 470/2563
5030510
That was sarcasm right?
Fine. I'll take the wheel on this one, seeing as no one from any Rage groups has taken aim yet. Grammar. Spelling. Characterizations. Learn them.